Monday, December 31, 2018

The Day I Died On Twitter And The Year Ahead

I was hoping for a quiet end to 2018 in Canada, because quite frankly I'm beat. The ugly year took so much out of me, I might need to be pushed across the finishing line in a wheelbarrow.

And I'm not sure I should be wildly celebrating the arrival of 2019, because it could and probably will be worse.

But one thing is for sure, for me this year ended with a bang.

When I woke up and discovered there was a rumour flying around Twitter that I had died of cancer.

I hadn't died of course. I had been confused with another Simon, a Guardian journalist, who had just died in Britain.

But although I was able to quickly clarify the situation.

And although I enjoyed some of the funny things some on Twitter said about my return from the dead...

And was deeply moved by messages like this one...  

I have to admit I was also a bit shaken up, because I'm a shy person and I don't like to create a fuss on Twitter about anything, especially not my fake news death.

But as I said, it did let me know how many friends I have out there. And bonus, I got a perfect excuse to explain why I was unable to write a coherent post about the year that was. 

Which is just as well, since as I explained at the beginning, it probably would have finished me off. Or had me screaming for a wheelbarrow.

Or wishing I was in Edinburgh last night, marching with tens of thousands of other in the amazing Hogmanay torchlight procession...

Which this year was dedicated to the friendship between the people of Scotland and Europe.

And ended with hundreds of young people, Brexit's biggest enemies, forming a map of Scotland in a park...

Which made me wish that we had a few processions like that to light up the prevailing darkness in North America, where the mad king Trump still rules.

And Canadian Trumplings like Andrew Scheer,  would turn our country into a living hell where hope goes to die.

And along with other bestial Cons like Jason Kenney and Doug Ford, would cheerfully torch the planet, even though climate change was the story of 2018. 

And will without a doubt be the story of 2019 all over the world.

But the good news is that hope is still very much alive. Trump is living in the shadow of Mueller who is getting ready to strike.

Mueller is coming. And he is clearly coming for Trump. Not simply for obstructing justice but for conspiring with a hostile foreign power to win an election. This is a scandal unlike any America has ever seen.

And we will have a chance to crush the bestial Cons in this country. 

And defend our precious values that keep our Canada strong, free, and beautiful.

Adam Cornick

I wouldn't want to live in any other country.

But if Canadians decide that they want to live in Con Canada, again, I do have another place to go.

And tonight, once again, I will wish that I was in Edinburgh, watching the fireworks burst over the castle...

You know, if a small country like Scotland can behave like a much bigger one, and nobody can ever question its proud rebel spirit.

Imagine what we could do in this giant one, if we all united to teach the Cons a lesson they'll never forget. 

So let's do it.

Thank you for reading this blog, and for contributing so many interesting comments.

And Happy New Year everybody !!!


  1. Why do the cons ever win an election, universally they are lead by nasty brutish people. Do we not have enough confidence in our humanity to overcome our animal instincts to survive? Okay I have an animal instict to copy things I like and I have cracked Spotify.

    1. HI Steve...the brutish Cons win elections by appealing to brutish people. People who are ignorant, and are aided and abetted by a corrupt media, and helped by so-called "progressives" who would rather fight themselves than fight the real enemy...

  2. Jackie Blue5:17 PM

    Happy New Year, Simon. Glad to know you're OK. This is a real testament to how quickly fake news spreads on those anarchic social media outlets. Snopes has had to debunk an astounding number of conspiracy theories that the Cons and their enablers have fomented about Justin Trudeau.

    You'll note in that article a mention of the QAnon prion disease, which I remember you wrote about earlier this year. Apparently it has spread up north and claims to implicate Trudeau in the deaths of that wealthy couple in Toronto, because supposedly he's Hillary's hired hitman and they "knew something" about... something or other.

    There's countless other conspiracy theories about Justin floating around. The Castrogate birtherism will never die, but then there's wild speculation about that bizarre Smallville sex cult the Bronfman sisters got wrapped up in, plus the dangerous crap Scheer is peddling about the UN Migration Compact, and even some really nasty and perverted accusations about Pierre and the death of poor Michel. I'm sure the fever swamp would find a way to blame your "death" on Justin too, and come up with some ludicrous reason why the Illuminati NWO Soros Muslim Brotherhood cabal at the UN wanted you snuffed out.

    My hope for 2019 is not only that the Cons crash and burn along with the GOP, but that we can all get back to sanity and Make Facts Matter Again.

    1. Hi Jackie...Thank you and Happy New Year to you too. What happened to me is an amazing example of how fake news can spread like wildfire, even though in this case no bad people were involved. Still just the thought that the Cons might try to blame my death on Soros is enough to kill me.🙀 But more seriously it is a warning about what we can expect when the election campaign is is full swing, for I haven't the slightest doubt that the Cons will try to steal the election. We are going to have to set up rapid response truth squads, to expose the lies and make those responsible pay for them. And yes, like you, I dream of the return of facts and sanity....

  3. Anonymous6:36 PM

    You sure you're okay? I never would have guessed you were into tiki-torch street marches!

    Happy Hogmanay, Simon. Lang may yer lum reek!

    1. Hi anon...thank you, and Happy New Year to you too. I should point out however that those are not Tiki torches. I have never been in a torchlight profession, but I understand that you have to sign if you want to participate, and buy an approved torch which has no doubt been tested for safety. Which is just as well, because Hogmanay can be a massive drunkathon, and if they used regular Tiki torches who knows how many people might be accidentally incinerated....🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒🚒

  4. You have done yeoman’s service for the cause of goodness: the opposite of the neo-right in its throes.

    The neo-right alludes to free-falling objects: the usurped, nominal conservative parties have been outed as imposters and brace against impact by encourageing the most odious to make their spurious case for “justice.” However, the ‘dead-Con-bounce’ might be mistaken for a last-minute, ‘holy’ intervention like Hitler’s blitzkrieg into the Ardennes, a magical reversal of fortunes, a denouement propelling the self-righteous to that golden age ‘unjustly’ deprived and now vengefully reclaimed. But it’s fleeting, a moment of ghoulish resurrection soon silenced.

    Nota bene Christy Clark’s bounce after Gordo Campbell’s demise, Republicans, post-Dubya, and what we expect of Jason KeKKenney in rebound from the body-slam Albetarians dealt their own Cons—and of course the grotesque, bouncing D’ohFo in Ontario, presently in mid-belly-flop. The jig’s up for the neo-right, but if it hits the ground hard enough it might affect the illusion of levitation long enough to dupe voters one more time (the Natural Law Party actually tried to pull this off, stop-action lotus position and everything!).

    Sometimes it’s called a ‘Hail Mary’. But, for the neo-rightists, it’s merely a dead-Con-bounce because their legacy of inequality and ecological degradation is irredeemable—possibly not even reversible.

    Galileo alludes to the fact that the larger mass of say, the Republicans, does not somehow impart greater rate of descent or a higher bounce. The big and small drop at the same speed and bounce as high. Thus, the D’ohFo, for example, is not a flight of the Phoenix but, rather, the final act in the Geckoid drama. Trump is the Republicans’ Ardennes. KeKKenney is Brigham Young’s defiant Salt Lake City. Et cetera.

    For 2019: a potential trifecta dead-Con-bounce exists by way of two scheduled elections, federal and Albetarian, which the neo-rightists are bent on conflating (it’s hard to tell if JKKK is running against Notley or JT); they might be joined by early elections in BC (if the NDP minority loses an upcoming by-election) and New Brunswick (a minority Con government with unstable parliamentary supporters).

    This mess tries to look like a Tory-blue wave; the boorish D’ohFo is cheering them on, but we must remind ourselves that he’s poisoning what remains of a once great, real Tory party (which Mike Harris shot out of the sky). These consistent phenomena seem typical of the neo-right everywhere in the West.

    The ostensible neo-right resurgence is really the snarls of a cornered, rabid animal, the boiling fever just before it breaks, the rattler’s severed head still snapping—a dead-Con-bounce, nothing more.

    Keep up your fine work, it’s an inspiration and morale booster that’ll serve us well in the galling politcal year soon upon us. Let us try to enjoy the demise of the neo-right as much as nauseam will allow.

    Good luck and all the best in the new year!

    1. Hi Geoffrey....Thank you for your kind comments and Happy New Year to you too. I must say I really like the way you describe what is happening as a " dead Con bounce," or "the snarls of a cornered, rabid animal, the bowling fever just before it breaks, the rattler's severed head still snapping." In fact, that's such a brilliant description I may have to "borrow" it myself. And I give thanks for all the great comments that help make this humble blog so much more than it would be without them. The year ahead will be a brutal one, but I don't doubt that we are on the right side of history and that goodness will prevail...

  5. don't follow twitter. read this article and laughed and laughed. The Cons, racists, homophobics would get so lucky.......Not so much. You're alive and well and that is all that matters. there was a line about the news of my death or some such thing. anyhow may you live to a very, very old ripe age and see the end of the racists, homophobs in office.


    1. Hi e.a.f...Thank you, and long life and Happy New Year to you too. I'm laughing now, but I must admit than when I first read about those rumours that I had died, I was stunned and was sure the Cons had something to do with them. But then this is the sound time that reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. When I was a young boy I came down with meningitis, and for a while I did hover near death. But then a Church of Scotland minister, who was known to like his whisky came down from the city to see me, and when he returned he spread the word that I had only hours to live. And as a result my poor parents received several lugubrious death notices, which when I saw them years later made me howl with laughter. On the other hand, I suppose two strikes is a bad omen, and I'm going to have to be especially careful in the future...😳

  6. Anonymous8:46 PM

    Dear Simon
    Thank you so much for your tireless and necessary fight that we are all fighting in this pressure cooker of politics. We will stand and fight beside you in the coming year.
    Happy New Year to you and yours.
    *See* you next year.

    1. Hi Yvonne...Thank you for you kind words and Happy New Year to to you too. I greatly appreciate all the encouragement you have given me on Twitter, and it will be an honour to fight the Cons at your side. We are facing quite a battle, and I admit to moments of discouragement. But I don't doubt that we will eventually crush the Cons, and help build a better world...

  7. I'm relieved that the soundtrack has gone over to Gaelic after some very insipid English (and not Scots) lyrics. St-Jean was also Celtic, like the Breton Jacques Cartier.

    1. Hi lagatta...yes I have always liked the sound of Gaelic songs, even if I don't understand a word. And when I stare at the Gaelic name at every train station I'm afraid I never will for it looks really difficult. I am however very proud of my Celtic heritage, and I'm glad that Jacques Cartier was one of our kind. One of the first things I learned when Inarrived in Montreal was that he and his men had dragged a cross to the top of Mount Royal. And when I see the modern cross shining in the dark, I know I am home. Happy New Year to you and yours...

    2. By the way, the cross was erected through a popular subscription, so it is not a matter of the State imposing a religion, unlike Duplessis' crucifix in the National Assembly Blue Chamber. It was erected in 1924, so it isn't far from 100 years old.

      I have a friend also named Simon who was born in Scotland - his wife (whom I knew long before him) is Polish Jewish. He is studying Gaelic. Breton is on the other side of the language family, close to Welsh and Cornish, while the Gaelic side includes Manx as well as Scottish and Irish Gaelic. And then there is Galician...

      And yes, I know I have a lot of useless knowledge. The Cons have always been against what they call soft degrees, like languages and history.

  8. Anonymous11:29 AM

    The only cancer you are fighting is the same all decent Canadians are, the insipid, insidious Cons.
    May 2019 be the year that truth triumphs over the true purveyors of fake news.
    Happy New Year Simon!

    1. HI JD....Thank you and Happy New Year to you too. As I mentioned above, when I first read that I had died of cancer I was shocked, but I have been battling Conitis for years, and I'm still here. And like you I hope that this year we can finally drain the swamp, and banish that fake truth plague once and for all. No matter how much Scheer and his ghastly gang try to lie their way to power, the truth will prevail, and it will set us free...

    2. There is also the cancer of petroleum and alone-in-yer-car dependency, but much of the world suffers from that. I'm so hoping we can get our Pink Line, not only because the Orange Line is saturated southbound from Laval, but also because people in the northeast have a horrible long commute, and many of them (many immigrant workers) work in the superhospitals in the city centre. Legault isn't interested, but perhaps there could be federal funding as well.

      How was the Afterlife?

  9. Happy Resurrection and New Year Noddy!
    And a pox on Jason Kenney and all o his ilk!


    1. HI hinofan.....Thank you and Happy New Year to you too. As for my "resurrection" I would describe it this way. He woke up to discover he had died,. He rose, he laughed, he ate and partied too much, and had to be carried back to his death bed again. When will I ever learn that I can't drink? 😧
      P.S. Don't worry about the Kenney beast, I'm sending an exorcist to help you...

    2. Thanks but an exorcist would only pour gasoline on the fire of the
      "people of faith" here in Alberta.
      Not just climate change deniers, but science deniers.
      Who expects the Spanish Inquisition anyway?
      As for your drinking problem,try club soda and half , just half mind you, of an Aurora brownie!
      But I've heard Jason may ban those too.
      If so I'll definately be joining you Speyside.