Sunday, December 04, 2011

Stephen Harper's Reefer Madness

I have been so busy denouncing Stephen Harper's foul Omnibus Crime Bill, that would destroy internet freedom, handcuff judges, and turn us into a prison state. Even as the crime rate plummets to record lows, and Canadians have never felt safer.

That I haven't had a chance to say anything about Great Big Brother Leader's crazed War on Marijuana.

He says he's going to jail even more Canadians for smoking or sharing or selling small amounts of the drug, because he wants to fight organized crime, and protect us from the demon weed. 

Mr. Harper reaffirmed his government's intention to stiffen penalties for dealing in marijuana and other drugs, defending it by saying: "Drugs are not bad because they are illegal. They are illegal because they are bad."

They are, he said, "corrosive to society" and they "do terrible things to people."

When in fact the War on Drugs has never worked, decriminalizing them would put organized crime out of business. Bullies kill more young people than marijuana ever has. 

And when it comes to protecting the young he is only blowing smoke out of his monstrous pie hole.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper is getting tougher on pot growers than he is on rapists of children.

Under the Tories' omnibus crime legislation tabled Tuesday, a person growing 201 pot plants in a rental unit would receive a longer mandatory sentence than someone who rapes a toddler or forces a five-year-old to have sex with an animal.

Because that's not just insane. It's BESTIAL.

And Great Big Brother Leader's War on Marijuana is just another case of Reefer Madness...

Oh boy. How different Canadian history might have been, if when Harper was an awkward nerd at the High School prom, somebody had offered to smoke him up.

Or he had eaten a brownie, like Jimmy Harper did...

But of course, nobody offered to smoke him up. Why would they? Marijuana, Stephen Harper, and Ayn Rand would have been a REALLY bad trip. He didn't eat a brownie. He didn't get laid.

So now the nerd is crazy bitter.

And we're ALL going to pay for it....


Anonymous said...

I remember reading somewhere that Harper was once offered weed at a party, but he has asthma, and can't smoke it.

And he was drunk at the time.

Simon said...

hi anonymous...ha ha ha...I have difficulty believing that story. As I said in the post I can't imagine anyone offering Big Brother a joint. And since he is such a control freak, and must first control himself, I can't imagine him having a drink either... ;)

Anonymous said...

i was born with asthma, but i still drink and smoke all the time. i have friends who also have asthma, and they also get high. asthma is just an excuse to say no. if he was offered, he was probably just scared.