Thursday, December 15, 2011
Remembering the Blogger Bruce McDonald
A reader reminded me tonight that it's been a year since the gay Progressive Blogger Bruce McDonald killed himself.
How time flies.
Although I never met Bruce, his blog Canuck Attitude, inspired me to begin blogging.
And since he died, I've written several post about him.
But this will probably be the last one, because what more is there to say eh?
Bruce and his blog are lost in the mists of time. Nothing will bring them back. And these are the only words of his that I managed to save:
I was hunted, and I was alone. So terribly, desperately, alone. When you're thrown against the lockers and getting punched out and your home room teacher is 50 feet away chatting with the Principal and Vice Principal and you know they can see what's going on and they turn a blind eye, you know you're alone in this world. It was pretty clear to me by the time I was 14 that I either had to find a new way to get along in this world because the situation I was in wasn't repairable, or I had to die.
I didn't want to die, but I had reached a point where there didn't seem to be another option. I've been held at knife point, I've been stabbed, I've had a gun held to my head, I don't know if it was loaded or not, and I've literally been hung by my ankles from a highway overpass as I stared into the seemingly uncaring windshields passing underneath knowing that not one of them would report anything.
But I will never forget those burning words. And I only wish he could have been alive today to see this truly amazing rally.
I wish he was still here so he could see how many people in Canada, including politicians, are taking bullying seriously. At last.
How we're finally winning the war on bullying. How it's finally getting better. Because we're MAKING it better.
But it didn't happen soon enough for him. Like it didn't for so many others.
Hey Bruce, I'm having a hard time remembering your great blog. But I'll always remember you.
I'll always remember how you used to call me "Grasshopper." What a nerve eh?
I'll always remember the sadness.
And that this was your favourite song...
P.S. If anyone out there is feeling very sad, lonely, and depressed, like so many people are at this time of the year. Please tell somebody who loves you, or just pick up the phone, because help is available.
Labels: Bruce McDonald, bullying, Canadian Bloggers, suicide
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Access to Brucie's posts
I had the pleasure of meeting Bruce on a trip to Toronto a few years ago and we had an amazing evening chatting and checking out the scene. We kept in touch for a while and I sure wish he would have confided in me. No piece of trash homophobe is worth losing your life over despite the trauma and damage they've caused. He was a truly loving man and I'm still sad at his passing.
Thanks for the link GAB - I had not yet deleted my Bookmark to Canuctude - can't really explain why.
I thought of Bruce when I heard reports and interviews with those kids attending that rally in Toronto. It was a bittersweet feeling.
Then I saw that someone had posted here about missing Bruce just last night. It's hard to believe that it's been over a year.
hi anonymous...thanks for the link. That's great. I have given up hope of seeing his blog again. What a joy to read him again. And of course how sad he isn't here...
Hi BC Waterboy...how great that you got to meet Bruce. But judging from his blog I'm not sure he confided in anyone. In the days after he died I searched his blog for any signs that he was desperately depressed, but I found none. Or none that I could see. I wish somebody could have helped him, but sadly it's an all too common story.
And yes we will miss him...
hi Beijing...it is hard to believe that it has already been a year since he died. In the last months of his life he had written some of his most powerful posts on bullying. So I can't help but feel that if he had lived long enough to see the great strides the anti-bullying movement has made, it might have cheered him up. What a tragedy...
hi sassy...I also left my link up so now it will lead to something....
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