Thursday, December 24, 2015

Stephen Harper and the Ghost of Howard Hughes

As we all know, Stephen Harper has been behaving in a very strange manner since his crushing and humiliating defeat.

He has practically disappeared off the face of the earth. And hasn't been seen in public, apart from one brief sighting in a Calgary book shop where he bought a book on economics.

No doubt so he could finally learn something about the subject, and not be charged with fraud if he keeps calling himself a Great Economist Leader.

But now at last he has been spotted again, and in a very strange and surrealistic place...

Outside a Shake Shack in Las Vegas.

On November 26, Edmontonian Adam Kjenner was taking time out from a Sun Life conference in Las Vegas. He and his girlfriend were entering a Shake Shack when he suddenly saw the large and unmistakable figure of the 22nd prime minister walking towards him.

“I was like ‘Mr. Harper’ and he said ‘oh, you recognized me,’” said Kjenner

And in an apparently alarming condition.

Accompanied by two young men, one of which was likely his son, Harper appeared to have no security. And his only disguise was a Breeder’s Cup ball cap pulled down low, an untucked dress shirt and a few days’ worth of stubble.

And I must admit when I first read that I was shocked. How low had he fallen? Why was an ex-prime minister looking like a slob or a homeless man? Who knew he would take his defeat by the Son of Trudeau THAT badly?

And for a moment I even wondered whether he was channeling the ghost of that other famous Las Vegas recluse, Howard Hughes.

And was suffering from the same mental condition.

To prevent germs, Howard Hughes insisted upon a “safe zone” of four feet around himself which no one could enter.

Howard Hughes had an employee whose only job was to catch flies. He couldn’t swat them because he feared it would spread germs.

Because as we know Harper had an obsessive fear of terrorists.

And thanks to the horrifying portrait Mike Duffy painted of him recently...

I'm pretty sure he also feared flies.

Which probably explains why he kept both Michelle Rempel and Jason Kenney so close to him at all times...

And why both of them are now so hungry to replace him.

But then when I thought about it some more, it all made perfect sense.

Where would a gambler and a Con artist like Stephen Harper feel more at home than in a place like Las Vegas?

After having bet all OUR money on Big Oil, lost so catastrophically, and taken us ALL to the cleaners.

Especially since he must know that now most of us can't afford to go after him and demand our money back.

Thanks to the sagging value of the petro dollar, or the Harper peso...

So while he's frolicking in the sun, or walking around with kleenex boxes on his feet to try to cover his tracks, we'll still be paying for his mistakes by freezing our asses off all winter long in Canada. 

Great eh?

Oh well. At least there will be SOME justice. He may not be on the FBI's most wanted list.


But he is at the top of Santa's Naughty List.

What do former prime minister Stephen Harper and the provincial premiers have in common? They all topped this year’s ‘naughty’ list, according to a new Ipsos poll. The poll, conducted exclusively for Global News, found a majority (66 per cent) of Canadians put Harper on Santa’s “naughty” list, while 59 per cent placed their province’s premier on the list.

Which for me, at this point, is consolation enough... 

Stephen Harper must be having his worst Christmas ever.

Santa doesn't have to bring me any presents because I already have the only one I wanted: A real Canadian government.   

Harper Hughes has left the building. He's slowly going crazy.

And he's never coming back...

Please click here to recommend this post at Progressive Bloggers. 


  1. I think Simon, that Harper really thought he would win the election and was stunned when he didn't.

    1. I think you're right. The shrieking of the Con MSM and the reaction of the Con faithful post election pretty much show a gang that believed they had it. My only Con buddy (who was a part of the government) is still in denial they lost because of themselves not due to Justin being Handsome. He really did think they were going to get a minority.

    2. hi Pamela...I think you're right. The arrogance of power made him believe that he could brainwash us with OUR money into believing anything he said. And like most bullies now that he has been beaten is reacting like a coward or the small twisted man he always was...

    3. hi Dan....yes I do believe he thought he could count on the politics of division to squeeze up the middle and at least rescue a minority. Then goodness knows what foulness he would have used to cling to power. Until the day I die I will never forget the moment the CBC declared that it would be a Liberal majority. And how I stared at the TV with my mouth open in disbelief, and how happy I was at last to know that the nightmare was finally over....

  2. Anonymous9:23 AM

    Hughes was a psychologically tormented genius, Harper is just a tormented ...!!

    1. hi RT...well that's true, Howard Hughes was a genius, who was brought down by mental illness, almost certainly caused by the many serious head injuries he received. While Harper who has no excuses for the way he behaved, was a very small mean man who never created anything, and instead sought to destroy everything he touched...

  3. Anonymous9:59 AM

    Sometimes justice is done and this is one of those times. Thanks to the Lord for using everything at his disposal to wake up Canadians and bring them out to the voting booths. God does answer prayers which is why I continue to pray for Canada to be victorious over all its present difficulties!

    1. hi anon....yes it was a grand moment of justice. I always believed that good would triumph over evil, even though now I will admit I sometimes had to cling to hope with both hands. Or lash myself to the mast. We did come out of the darkness into the light, and we now have a chance to be a force for good again. Yes your prayers were answered and so were mine....

  4. Anonymous11:05 AM

    The image brings to mind those weird money throwing Vegas style ads the cons were doing in their dying days. Apparently, Harper really got into it.

    The other thing about that story is the company he was with. Maybe was with his son and Ray, who knows. I'm all about respecting people as they are, and saving judgement for those more holy than I am. I cannot imagine being inside Stephen Harper's head (yikes), but he always came off as one of those extreme right GOP type of folks who marry and have kids for all the wrong (deceptive) reasons, and one day it all blows up.


    1. hi TS...thanks for reminding me of Harper's game show performance, and his absurd money machine. I had completely forgotten that sorry episode, for had I remembered I would have tried to squeeze in the photo shop I made of Harper on the set of the Price is Right, and Michelle Rempel jumping up and down ;)
      But yes, I also wondered whether the other person with him was Ray Novak. And I was tempted to suggest that Harper and his Robin were getting a quickie marriage in Las Vegas. But luckily my good angel gave me a slap on the back of the head, and I was able to restrain myself. Even though by then I was working on fixing a "Just Married" sign to the back of the batmobile....;)

  5. Such a coward was our former prime minister.

    Merry Christmas, Simon.

    1. hi WILLY...yes he was wasn't he? And the way he is reacting reminds me of how some of the bullies I had to fight when I was a teenager reacted when they were beaten.
      Knowing what you have had to endure I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas, and all the peace and comfort in the world...

  6. Anonymous11:39 AM

    Our new public enemy top 5 list better include the guy running the B.of C. with his bullshit about negative rates for Canadian bank customers. That is a surefire way of demolishing an economy as has already been proven in a number of countries in the world today. The small banks collapse and disappear overnight because of the huge panic cash runs that kind of policy provokes.
    Just who the hell put this u.s. bankster in charge of our central bank anyway? The cocks, black or murdoch or trump?

    1. Anonymous3:57 PM

      Hi Anon 11:35

      Agree that zero interest rate policy (Zirp) steals from the savers, encourages the creation of more Zombie corporations and transfers money to the 1%, as if they need more. I am not a great economist but based on observation it would seem there are better ways to regain Canada's competitive position following the death of the great Oily nightmare.The money needs to get to the entrepreneurs,small businesses,infrastructure,and the working public not the Post Media types.

    2. Jolly Roger9:02 PM

      I say, Poloz, harper, Kerry, the wall street boys and the IMF have cooked up a scheme to crash our currency -- I caught a snip on MSNBC where Kerry was asked about a common currency for the NAFTA countries and Kerry said something to the effect that he was waiting for harper to finish his plan, so to speak -- I hope our new people in power are watching for this and aren't in on it, or we are in for a world of financial trouble..

    3. hi anon...yes I find Poloz's suggestion that negative interest rates might be needed to stimulate the economy extremely disturbing. The situation for savers in this country is already bad enough, and I can only imagine what that might do to some of the pension funds in this country. The capitalist system and its reliance on credit to make up for lower wages, is spinning out of control. And the only winners are the banksters and the speculators, who can only lead us to disaster...

  7. Anonymous12:15 PM

    Your best piece since the election, Simon.

    Meeting Steve in Vegas under such peculiar circumstances sounds similar to meeting Elvis in a K-Mart in Michigan (an old urban legend.)

    But of course in the case of our newly cashiered ex-Prime Minister, the saying reality is stranger than fiction loudly rings true.

    I suppose his next stop in Vegas was the restaurant that sells the giant hot dogs (the ones so big that each one can at least feed a family of four.)

    1. hi anon...I'm glad you liked it, and I have to admit I had a lot of fun writing it. But the election was TWO months ago, and are you saying that everything I've written since then sucked? You may be right, I probably should have taken a break because I was exhausted, but I'm still devastated !!!! ;)
      But seriously, the thought of Harper wandering around Las Vegas and being spotted outside a Shake Shack is too good to be ignored. All that was missing to make it perfectwas for the ghost of Hunter Thompson to drive up in his convertible with his Samoan attorney and start insulting the hell out of him as only he could... ;)

  8. e.a.f.4:21 PM

    former P.M.s in Canada do not retain security details like former American presidents, who retain them for life.

    Going to Vegas isn't such a bad choice. Gets you out of Canada. Its somewhere he could not go for the past 10 yrs. but it is a sort of weird choice. You'd think he'd head to Maui or Florida as do so many other Canadian politicians, but then if you want to avoid everybody or have meetings, Vegas is the place to go.

    For me, although he is still an M.P., Harper is gone. Don't think about him or his cons, just enjoying life as it once again is in Canada. Looking forward to the Liberals revoking the "citizenship" act and doing a re-do so there aren't' 2 classes of Canadians and I'm good to go.