Thursday, December 24, 2015
Stephen Harper and the Ghost of Howard Hughes
As we all know, Stephen Harper has been behaving in a very strange manner since his crushing and humiliating defeat.
He has practically disappeared off the face of the earth. And hasn't been seen in public, apart from one brief sighting in a Calgary book shop where he bought a book on economics.
No doubt so he could finally learn something about the subject, and not be charged with fraud if he keeps calling himself a Great Economist Leader.
But now at last he has been spotted again, and in a very strange and surrealistic place...
Outside a Shake Shack in Las Vegas.
On November 26, Edmontonian Adam Kjenner was taking time out from a Sun Life conference in Las Vegas. He and his girlfriend were entering a Shake Shack when he suddenly saw the large and unmistakable figure of the 22nd prime minister walking towards him.
“I was like ‘Mr. Harper’ and he said ‘oh, you recognized me,’” said Kjenner
And in an apparently alarming condition.
Accompanied by two young men, one of which was likely his son, Harper appeared to have no security. And his only disguise was a Breeder’s Cup ball cap pulled down low, an untucked dress shirt and a few days’ worth of stubble.
And I must admit when I first read that I was shocked. How low had he fallen? Why was an ex-prime minister looking like a slob or a homeless man? Who knew he would take his defeat by the Son of Trudeau THAT badly?
And for a moment I even wondered whether he was channeling the ghost of that other famous Las Vegas recluse, Howard Hughes.
And was suffering from the same mental condition.
To prevent germs, Howard Hughes insisted upon a “safe zone” of four feet around himself which no one could enter.
Howard Hughes had an employee whose only job was to catch flies. He couldn’t swat them because he feared it would spread germs.
Because as we know Harper had an obsessive fear of terrorists.
And thanks to the horrifying portrait Mike Duffy painted of him recently...
I'm pretty sure he also feared flies.
Which probably explains why he kept both Michelle Rempel and Jason Kenney so close to him at all times...
And why both of them are now so hungry to replace him.
But then when I thought about it some more, it all made perfect sense.
Where would a gambler and a Con artist like Stephen Harper feel more at home than in a place like Las Vegas?
After having bet all OUR money on Big Oil, lost so catastrophically, and taken us ALL to the cleaners.
Especially since he must know that now most of us can't afford to go after him and demand our money back.
Thanks to the sagging value of the petro dollar, or the Harper peso...
So while he's frolicking in the sun, or walking around with kleenex boxes on his feet to try to cover his tracks, we'll still be paying for his mistakes by freezing our asses off all winter long in Canada.
Oh well. At least there will be SOME justice. He may not be on the FBI's most wanted list.
But he is at the top of Santa's Naughty List.
What do former prime minister Stephen Harper and the provincial premiers have in common? They all topped this year’s ‘naughty’ list, according to a new Ipsos poll. The poll, conducted exclusively for Global News, found a majority (66 per cent) of Canadians put Harper on Santa’s “naughty” list, while 59 per cent placed their province’s premier on the list.
Which for me, at this point, is consolation enough...
Stephen Harper must be having his worst Christmas ever.
Santa doesn't have to bring me any presents because I already have the only one I wanted: A real Canadian government.
Harper Hughes has left the building. He's slowly going crazy.
And he's never coming back...
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