Friday, December 16, 2016

Donald Trump and the Restaurant Review From Hell



As we all know Donald Trump is always raging about the way the media treats him, the lying media as he likes to call them.

And encouraging his 17-million Twitter followers to go after them.

He has attacked the New York Times and the Washington Post for exposing his shady deals, he has blasted NBC for running this unflattering picture of him...



The so-called "three chin Trump."

But now he has really gone off the deep end, and is going after Vanity Fair magazine and its distinguished editor Graydon Carter.





For among other things, daring to publish an unflattering restaurant review.

President-elect Donald Trump took aim at a new media target Thursday morning, writing on Twitter that Vanity Fair magazine is “dead” and its editor has “no talent.”

The magazine has been regularly critical of Trump throughout his candidacy and into his transition, publishing stories this week headlined “Someone has finally agreed to perform at Donald Trump inauguration” and “Trump Grill could be the worst restaurant in America.”


And also no doubt because Carter was the first person in the media to write about Trump's small hands.

Carter, the long-serving editor of Vanity Fair, is credited with originating a popular joke about the size of Trump’s hands. The Manhattan real estate mogul was regularly referred to as a “short-fingered vulgarian” in the pages of now-defunct Spy magazine, which was co-founded by Carter.

For which we owe him a debt of gratitude...



And I must say I really enjoyed Vanity Fair's restaurant review. 

Our waiter eventually noted that Don Jr. gets the filet mignon cooked medium-rare, with garlic mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli. The steak came out overcooked and mealy, with an ugly strain of pure fat running through it, crying out for A.1. sauce (it was missing the promised demi-glace, too). 

The plate must have tilted during its journey from the kitchen to the table, as the steak slumped to the side over the potatoes like a dead body inside a T-boned minivan.


Although I can understand why Trump didn't.

Renowned butcher Pat LaFrieda once dared me to eat an eyeball that he himself popped out of the skull of a roasted pig. That eyeball tasted better than the Trump Grill’s (Grille’s) Gold Label Burger, a Pat LaFrieda–branded short-rib burger blend molded into a sad little meat thing, sitting in the center of a massive, rapidly staling brioche bun, hiding its shame under a slice of melted orange cheese.

But of course, in just 35 days Trump will be president, and now Americans must wonder whether they'll soon be on the menu.

And whether that crazed demagogue will use his presidential powers to go after his enemies...



As well as worry, along with the rest of us, how a man who goes crazy over a restaurant review might react if faced with a real crisis. 

Like the one he is stirring up with China.



By shooting his mouth off about Taiwan and those islands in the South China Sea

Even before he occupies the Oval Office, and gets his tiny hands on the nuclear codes.

Great eh? How lucky do you feel?

And to think that once we thought he was just a bad joke...



And now he's a living nightmare.

He never should have been president.

But voting has consequences, and so does not voting 

And as H.L. Mencken once predicted, the Americans now have the president they deserve... 



14 comments:

Dan said...

Hils ran a terrible campaign but won in the popular vote by almost 3 million yet she lost because of a mere 80000 in three states.

Anonymous said...

I came across this review last night. What a waste of real estate that Trump Grille/Grill.

How long can this go on? Unbelievable this petty man with small hands...

The restaurant sounds absolutely revolting. Sign of things to come I'm afraid. Trump trying to make everyone swallow his garbage, and make money in the process.

TS

aka Joe said...

You hit the nail on the head about the consequences of not voting. When only about half of the electorate bothers to come out, this is what happens. Regardless, he should have never gotten half the votes he received which makes you wonder just what the problem is with those who did vote for him. But it was a perfect shitstorm and now the U.S. has a leader who has no clue, no sense of class or decorum, no interest in learning about the job and a bad temper. Plus he's surrounding himself with the worst of the worst so things will not get better. I've been feeling despondent since the election as I watch this nightmare unfold day after day. I lost a lot of respect for Americans and have a hard time seeing us survive the next 4 years with this clown in charge. Words and actions have consequences and Heir Trump better figure that out quick or people are going to be lobbing missiles at each other and that will not end well. Thanks America and fuck you.

Anonymous said...

Ok the restaurant review was pretty funny I have to admit. Have a great weekend everyone!

-MC

Anonymous said...

There is no resistance. America is lost forever.

Simon said...

hi Dan.. I think that fact will haunt me for the rest of my life. How many votes did those hackers sway? How many progressives wasted their ballots or didn't bother to vote? But that's water or blood under the bridge now. And our new motto should be Never Again...

Simon said...

hi TS...yes, I thought the restaurant, and the atmosphere, and the food, was a good metaphor for that tiny fingered vulgarian, without an ounce of class. And of course the description of sad state of the Trump steak, and the cake that tasted like tums, made me laugh so hard I almost fell out of my chair.
But sadly it is no joke. Trump is president, and it is going to go on for four long and dangerous years...

Simon said...

hi aka Joe...I thought that the prospect of Donald Trump as president would bring out Americans like never before, even if they had to crawl on all fours to the polling station. So I was very disappointed. And like you I too have moments of despondency and despair. But it's important to overcome them. I honestly believe that it may take a shock like this to unite progressives in the war on the real enemy. His fascism will motivate us to come together to oppose him. So cheer up and happy holidays... :)

Simon said...

hi MC...yeah it was pretty funny, although I did feel sorry for the poor waiter. I have to you know so many are gay. ;)
And you have a great weekend too...

Simon said...

hi anon...don't despair America isn't doomed. There are a lot of great people in that country. There will be resistance, and they will get their country back....

David said...

Can you believe this? Even an influential teen magazine is calling Trump out!

Donald Trump Is Gaslighting America
http://www.teenvogue.com/story/donald-trump-is-gaslighting-america

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2016/12/12/teen_vogue_s_trump_takedown_is_not_a_surprise_because_the_magazine_rocks.html

David said...

And I still want to know what A-list singers/bands in their right minds would agree to perform at the various Trump inauguration balls, or perform at the White House.

e.a.f. said...

Trump is going after anyone who opposes him or says unflattering things about him because he can. Its called freedom of speech.

He is trying to intimidate people into not criticising him. Once he is president this could be a real problem. he will have access to tax records, all sorts of personal information about individuals and then the real fun starts. This is what happens when people vote people like Trump into office. Right now people aren't paying too much attention. He's gone after people most don't know or care about, such as the editor of vanity fair. However, Trump is compiling lists of names of people who work at the EPA. Wait until all of them are fired. Then eventually he will turn on those who voted him into office because they will start protesting he didn't deliver on his promises. By then it will be too late, just as it was once Hitler was in power.

Within 2 years the U.S.A. COULD look like Syria.

Trump is a boorish thug with no class. He has gotten by on his money and big mouth. that may work in some areas, but when it comes to the international stage, not so much. A few G-20 conferances ago, in Australia, Putin was simply ignored, he left early. This will be happening with Trump also.

China has been in a sell off sp.ree of Americana bonds.

Trump doesn't seem to realize China has 2 billion people, the U.S.A. 350Million. They haven't even begun to flex their muscle. He thinks he's smart by jabbing at them. Well they and Putin can do a real number on the U.S.A. Trump likes to think Putin's a great guy, well I've got a surprise for him. china and Russia can gang up on the U.S. and do them in. His sec. of state will most likely help them because then he can have all the oil deals he wants. this will not end well for the Americans.

trump is just like any tin pot dictator with a big mouth and little knowledge.

jrkrideau said...

He thinks he's smart by jabbing at them. Well our dearly departed great leader took the opportunity to dress down the Chinese leadership for human rights violaltions while in Beijing.

Clearly neither had/have a clue about international affairs. It pains me to say it, but even if Harper was smarter (well so are most lumps of concrete), he was just as stupid and irrational on the international stage. It's just that Trump has more and bigger toys to play with. ARRGh.