Donald Trump and the Restaurant Review From Hell

As we all know Donald Trump is always raging about the way the media treats him, the lying media as he likes to call them.

And encouraging his 17-million Twitter followers to go after them.

He has attacked the New York Times and the Washington Post for exposing his shady deals, he has blasted NBC for running this unflattering picture of him...



The so-called "three chin Trump."

But now he has really gone off the deep end, and is going after Vanity Fair magazine and its distinguished editor Graydon Carter.





For among other things, daring to publish an unflattering restaurant review.

President-elect Donald Trump took aim at a new media target Thursday morning, writing on Twitter that Vanity Fair magazine is “dead” and its editor has “no talent.”

The magazine has been regularly critical of Trump throughout his candidacy and into his transition, publishing stories this week headlined “Someone has finally agreed to perform at Donald Trump inauguration” and “Trump Grill could be the worst restaurant in America.”

And also no doubt because Carter was the first person in the media to write about Trump's small hands.

Carter, the long-serving editor of Vanity Fair, is credited with originating a popular joke about the size of Trump’s hands. The Manhattan real estate mogul was regularly referred to as a “short-fingered vulgarian” in the pages of now-defunct Spy magazine, which was co-founded by Carter.

For which we owe him a debt of gratitude...



And I must say I really enjoyed Vanity Fair's restaurant review. 

Our waiter eventually noted that Don Jr. gets the filet mignon cooked medium-rare, with garlic mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli. The steak came out overcooked and mealy, with an ugly strain of pure fat running through it, crying out for A.1. sauce (it was missing the promised demi-glace, too). 

The plate must have tilted during its journey from the kitchen to the table, as the steak slumped to the side over the potatoes like a dead body inside a T-boned minivan.

Although I can understand why Trump didn't.

Renowned butcher Pat LaFrieda once dared me to eat an eyeball that he himself popped out of the skull of a roasted pig. That eyeball tasted better than the Trump Grill’s (Grille’s) Gold Label Burger, a Pat LaFrieda–branded short-rib burger blend molded into a sad little meat thing, sitting in the center of a massive, rapidly staling brioche bun, hiding its shame under a slice of melted orange cheese.

But of course, in just 35 days Trump will be president, and now Americans must wonder whether they'll soon be on the menu.

And whether that crazed demagogue will use his presidential powers to go after his enemies...



As well as worry, along with the rest of us, how a man who goes crazy over a restaurant review might react if faced with a real crisis. 

Like the one he is stirring up with China.



By shooting his mouth off about Taiwan and those islands in the South China Sea

Even before he occupies the Oval Office, and gets his tiny hands on the nuclear codes.

Great eh? How lucky do you feel?

And to think that once we thought he was just a bad joke...



And now he's a living nightmare.

He never should have been president.

But voting has consequences, and so does not voting 

And as H.L. Mencken once predicted, the Americans now have the president they deserve...