Peter MacKay and the Mouse that Roared

Oh no. Duck and cover. Where's the Red Baron when we need him? I KNEW it was a bad idea to make Peter Dumbo MacKay the Minister of Defence.

First he lost the PC Party, then he lost Belinda, then he lost Afghanistan, then he lost the secret base in the UAE. And now I fear he's losing his mind.

Canada is looking at setting up bases around the world to better position the military to participate in international missions, Defence Minister Peter MacKay confirmed Thursday.

OK. Let me get this straight. We're spending billions in Afghanistan. A disaster if ever there was one, no matter what Great Warrior Poseur Leader says.

We're about to spend billions on new stealth fighters. We're spending millions every week bombing Libya. And who knows how long we're going to be there.

And now we are looking to lease bases all over the world? So we can get involved in even more little warlets, when the U.S. is running in the other direction, because it can't afford them anymore?

Even though we're running a massive deficit, sitting on a personal debt balloon, on the razor edge of another brutal recession?

Oh boy. If we must build bases wouldn't it be better to build them in the north, so we can figure out who is splashing around in our territorial waters? And how about we declare war on poverty in Canada instead? Or launch an all-out assault on this shameful problem?

Dr. Robert Schroth, a specialist in pediatric dentistry at the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg, says he has seen aboriginal children from remote communities with 18 out of 20 of their baby teeth rotting away.

Because some wars are more important than others. And there is only so much money to go around. Especially since the Cons are cutting corporate taxes.

So you know where this one is going...

But what also bothers me is the grinding jingoism of these Cons. And their absurd delusions of grandeur...

"The focus of the planning, let's be clear, is our capability for expeditionary participation in international missions.... We are big players in NATO. We're a country that has become a go-to nation in response to situations like what we're seeing in Libya, what we saw in Haiti...

Because I can't imagine anything more embarrassing than seeing Canadians strutting around the world, beating their little chickenhawk breasts, bragging that we're the "go-to nation" that can't fight enough wars. Like a mouse that roared.

Dumbo, Dumbo, you loser. Who do you think we are?

The Duchy of Grand Fenwick ?



But at least the go-to nation of Grand Fenwick set out to lose. And won by mistake.

With these dangerous Cons setting out to conquer the world.

We'll probably lose everything...