Sunday, December 12, 2010

The Singing Dictators: Putin Makes Harper his Bitch

Golly. I don't know how to say this eh? I mean it's almost TREASON.

But in the Battle of the Singing Dictators.

Now that I've seen the photos...

And watched the videos.*Gulp*

I think the Russians are WINNING...

I mean it was close eh?

And I know that both audiences had been told to clap. Or ELSE.

But at least Putin was doing it for charity. While Harper was just entertaining the troops hogs at the Con Christmas Party.

And at least Putin looked like a dignified dictator...

While Harper looked like a carnival barker, a toothless vampire, a possibly dangerous bottom feeder, an Orwellian orifice, or just DESPERATE.

And of course I had to subtract ten points from Great Hypocritical Leader for singing about the glories of debauchery and heroin.

This was rumored to be about drugs. A "Jumpin' Jack Flash" is supposedly a way to inject heroin into the tear ducts.

While planning to lock up even more Canadians for the "crime" of smoking marijuana.

Gawd. What will he screech next I wonder...Don't cry for me Con-Na-da, the truth is I want to JAIL you? 

You know, thanks to Wikileaks I discovered that Berlusconi, the Italian dictator, was Putin's bitch.

Well now he's got TWO of them eh?

And Harper's the chihuahua...

The horror. The shame. Woof woof.

When can we get rid of this ridiculous dictator before he disgraces us further?


P.S. don't forget to boycott the album...

Theo Moudakis/Toronto Star


Beijing York said...

LOL! On a slow news and commentary day, this truly made me smile. All of it. (I agree, Putin has the slight edge over Harper.)

rabbit said...

If the PM had to avoid every song with a veiled reference to some questionable activity, he'd be left singing "I'm A Little Teapot".

And I'm not sure about that one.

Beijing York said...

More like "I'm A Little Tinpot [dictator]".

There's always that Green Beret song from the 60s.

Simon said...

hi Beijing.... I have been very sad recently for obvious reasons, so if I can make me and somebody else smile, It's a small victory. :)

Simon said...

hi rabbit...but doesn't he have about 1,000 people working to make him look good? What's a matter with them? Shooting up heroin is bad enough, but
in your tear ducts? How dare he encourage our kids to do that? And he better not sing about tea or pot either. With what he's planning to do to the youth of Canada, that would be simply monstrous... ;)

Simon said...

hi Beijing... The Little Tinpot Dictator? Excellent. :)