Friday, February 01, 2008

The Monster Snow Storm that Wasn't

I just want everybody to know that now not only am I a survivor of the Great Ice Storm. Now I'm a survivor of the Great Snow Storm that was threatening to pound/pummel/blast/stomp Toronto.... like Godzilla.

If the snow storm forecasters are expecting to hit the city on Friday were a horror movie, it might just be Godzilla. They expect the monster to stomp all over southern Ontario and the Toronto area will be one of its certain victims.

I have to admit that being from Montreal, when the storm did arrive it didn't seem THAT Great. Until I read the news reports.

It's a ferocious start to February. A storm packing high winds, snow, freezing rain and ice pellets is pounding Toronto and all of southern Ontario, making travel difficult and driving dangerous.

Now I think I'm lucky to be ALIVE. I think we ALL are.

Except for him of course...

But the real scary thing....apart from the bodies of the poor lying everywhere.... is that even if we had been buried alive NOBODY in this city would have dared to call in the army again. Because they don't want to be embarrassed like they were the last time.

And of course because they don't trust Harpo or Hillier.

And who can blame them? They know if those two could find the backdoor to a Harper majority...we'd ALL be royally fucked.

So as a Montrealer....who feels a certain kinship with this city because the enemies of my enemies are my friends....even if when it comes to snow they're wusses.

I'd just like to suggest that whatever they do please DON'T call in the army. They're already working their frozen asses off...... trying to dig themselves out of Afghanistan.

So just tell Harpo AND Hillier to go fuck themselves.

And if it keeps on snowing.

Call in this dog instead...

Because that dog knows what my dog knows...

If it's winter....and it's Canada....and it snows.

You might as well enjoy yourself...


Uh oh. Big Melt on the way.

Forget the army AND the dog.

And get ready to call in the NAVY....

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