Monday, December 31, 2007

My Gay Year and the Wonders of the Universe

Just a few hours to go before 2007 limps off into history. But I hardly have the energy to write about it. It was THAT kind of year.

The planet continued to burn.... its inhabitants continued to kill each other in the name of religion....millions continued to die of disease and starvation when there was more than enough medicine and food to save them.

Stephen Harper's Con government continued to disgrace Canada all over the world. The religious wingnuts continued to come after us like rabid flying monkeys. And everything just got meaner, dummer, and crazier.

So instead of my Top Ten Depressing News Stories of 2007....how about the Top Ten Astronomy Photos?












To remind us what a wonder our little blue planet is..... in a magnificent but threatening universe. And why if we don't do more to save it...we don't really DESERVE IT.

Or how about instead of goosing the Pope for his latest assault on gay people ....and Spain.

I just run this old post.

If only to remember Garcia Lorca's young lover, Rafael Rodriguez Rapun, standing there unafraid firing a rifle at the fascist planes coming to kill him. On the one year anniversary of the day the fascists murdered his Federico.

And remind the religious fanatics that their hatred may continue to kill us...but it will NEVER defeat our love.
















Because our cause is just and beautiful. And love conquers all. No matter how long it takes.

Finally I'd like to thank the readers of this humble blog...and all my blogging friends out there for their support and encouragement. And the enjoyment I get from reading their posts or comments.

I also want to thank Sébastien, my beautiful companion, for putting up with me and my blogging and other misadventures for another year...and for managing to keep me grounded and STILL be the star in my sky.

And I'd like to end this last post of 2007 with a song from a man who was just one of the many innocent victims of the senseless violence that soaked our world in blood again this year.

But whose death almost broke my heart. The late great Lucky Dube.

Which might seem like a down....and not very GAY way to ring out the year.

But isn't really....




Because Lucky lives, reggae is strong, and so are WE.

And all the homophobes and all the hate in the world won't stop OUR struggle against bigotry and violence. Or prevent our final and glorious VICTORY.

Love. Resistance. Justice. Peace.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Iraq, Pakistan, and the Ghost of Saddam Hussein

Trying to find something positive in Iraq is like looking for the proverbial pony.... in a mountain of bloody manure.

But this has to be good news.

Especially since Osama Bin Laden is so worried.

"Our duty is to foil these dangerous schemes, which try to prevent the establishment of an Islamic state in Iraq..."

So you know it's got to REALLY hurt.

And what must hurt the most is the fact that Al-Qaeda is being expelled from Iraq not by General Petraeus....although he deserves some credit.

But by their fellow Sunnis .....and the ghost of Saddam Hussein.











Hussein was a brutish dictator but he was a secular one. So in the late seventies when Saudi Arabia started building Wahhabi religious schools or madrassas all over the world, they couldn't build any in Iraq.

Which meant that although the country was extremely sectarian, the common culture remained secular...and nationalist. And the stateless religious fanaticism that Al Qaeda depends upon never took root.

So while at first the Sunnis were glad to have the foreign fighters on their side...it didn't take long before their fanaticism and indiscriminate brutality turned them off.

Which is why after the Americans leave...and the Shiites and the Sunnis and the Kurds work out a power sharing agreement with or without a civil war...Iraq might have a chance of being a modern secular nation one day.

While a country like Pakistan is doomed.

It allowed the Saudis to build thousands of religious schools. Its corrupt military used them to provide the Taliban with recruits and suicide bombers. So now Pakistan is crawling with religious fanatics...including many in the armed forces.

Nobody is safe. And anything could happen.

Some US intelligence analysts fear Benazir Bhutto's assassination could be part of a broader al-Qa'ida and Taliban offensive against Pakistan's secular leadership, focused on spreading militant influence inside the country. Success in this endeavour would pose a direct threat to the US and the broader Western world.

So much for the Great War on Terror.

Let's see if I can get it straight.

To get back at the religious extremists who attacked America, Bush and his neocons invaded the only secular country in the Middle East...and turned it into a magnet for religious fanatics. They never got Bin Laden, but they allowed the Taliban to regroup in Afghanistan, turn Waziristan and other barbarous places into safe havens for Jihadi terrorists. And they helped create the conditions for Al Qaeda to destabilize Pakistan .... the only Islamic country with nuclear weapons.

And now it turns out that the most powerful weapon in the fight against Al Qaeda in Iraq, and the main reason it hasn't turned into another Pakistan, was the ghost of the man they hanged.

Spare a thought for the old dead tyrant.

Isn't it a crazy world?

Saturday, December 29, 2007

The Post Xmas Blues and the Ugly Canadians
















Uh oh. I see the post Xmas blues are breaking out all over the world. The credit card bills haven't arrived yet. But the spirit of the season is fading fast. From the alleged site of the blessed manger.

To an ice station in the Antarctic.

And then there is the very UnXmassy story of the little girl in Dallas who won a Hannah Montana makeover...and some tickets to a Little Miss Montana concert....by writing this short essay:

"My daddy died this year in Iraq. I am going to give mommy the Angel pendant that daddy put on mommy when she was having me. I had it in my jewelry box since that day. I love my mommy."

Which would be REALLY moving... in a ghastly sort of way.

Except that daddy wasn't REALLY in Iraq. Or even dead.

But before we accuse the Americans of trying to gain an unfair advantage by teaching their kids to cheat before we teach ours how to swindle their way to success.

Let's take a good look at ourselves....with or WITHOUT our clothes.

Some Canadian shoppers wear their new clothes home to avoid paying a duty when they cross back into Canada. The old clothes get left behind in parking lots, dressing rooms and restrooms at malls and shopping plazas in the Buffalo-Niagara Falls region.

Can you believe it? Once we were running after their dollars and calling them the Ugly Americans. Now they're running after our bloated loonies and we're the Ugly Canadians !!!! Cheating our way through customs.

Is that PROGRESS or what?

Although to be fair...when it comes to ugly or just crazy... we may have the nasty neocon Stephen Harper and the idiot redneck Don Cherry.

But judging from this video... I fear the Americans may STILL have a slight edge....



Wow. DEFINITELY.

No wonder we're losing the Great War on Terror.

But don't let those post Xmas blues get you down.

Just remember that December is gloomy. But January is WORSE.

Have a great weekend everyone!

---------------------------------------------------------------

P.S. I couldn't help but notice that some terrorist stooge has posted a response to that great patriotic video...



So I reported him to the Department of Waterboarding Security.

I'm doing MY part in the Great War on Terror.

Are you?

Friday, December 28, 2007

The Pogues and the Faggot Word Revisited

As you know I spend a lot of time on this blog apologizing for what I have written. Not always because I'm wrong, but because I always doubt.

I know that certainty rules these days. But I can't help but wonder afterwards whether I was fair and clear enough... or too harsh and nasty, or too clownish, or too serious.

Or in the case of this post. Not serious enough.

I must admit that when I wrote it I thought the bleeping Beeb story was a bad joke. And a tempest in a teacup.

But after reading this column....

To say that you’re offended these days is to risk being accused of being humourless; of not getting the joke. It’s the same risk you run as a woman who is offended by the endless parade of breasts in magazines such as Nuts. The new casual homophobia is couched as a perfectly acceptable, knowing joke, and coincides with a general feeling that gays have had quite enough equality..... That we are getting a little too big for our boots.

I wonder whether some gays rush to defuse these little brouhahas by saying that they are not offended because we are entertainers and pacifiers, used to deflecting homophobia around us with wit or just turning the other cheek. Our instinct is to josh, parry, swerve, not confront bigotry. We don’t want to be bashed. We don’t want to be out of the gang. Of course we know how to “take a joke”. We had enough practice in school and on the playing field. We excuse homophobia because we don’t want to fight, cause trouble, be different.

Now I'm not so sure. Because so much of what he says is true.

We want a place at the table and, if we have to suffer the occasional sting or belittling remark, then so be it. But equality isn’t about just what is enshrined in statute. It’s about being treated with – and, most importantly, expecting – respect and consideration. You can’t put that kind of thing into law, but organisations such as the BBC arguably have a responsibility to foster and encourage it.

And this little factoid DOES bother me...

The fact that the song reached No 4 is depressing: it was almost as if those people rushing out to buy it were not merely assailed by a sudden nostalgia but actually waiting for – indeed, actively investing in – that “faggot” line with some relish. Homophobia sells.

Because although I love the Pogues ... Fairytale of New York is not THAT great a song.

So now I don't know WHAT to think. Except that one.... homophobia is a disease and it's everywhere.

Two...I need a sense of humour in this bigot world to keep up my spirits so I can confront the real homophobes...and fight the real battles.

And three .....that when he wrote the faggot song..... Shane MacGowan was probably drunk...



So I forgive him.

I'm giving him the benefit of my many doubts.

Because sometimes....even when you don't want to... you gotta fight.

And sometimes you gotta laugh...

Benazir Bhutto and Pakistan's Religious Demons
















Now she belongs to history.

And history will decide whether she might have saved Pakistan...or just helped sink it. Whether she was a secular martyr who heralded a new age of democracy...or just another lousy Pakistani politician incompetent and corrupt.

But nobody will be able to deny that Benazir Bhutto was really brave.

She was attempting to make the connection between lack of democracy in Pakistan and the rise of mullah-manipulated fanaticism.

And, right to the end, she carried on without the fetish of "security" and with lofty disregard for her own safety. This courage could sometimes have been worthy of a finer cause, and many of the problems she claimed to solve were partly of her own making. Nonetheless, she perhaps did have a hint of destiny about her.

A woman of destiny in a failed state going nowhere.

As for who gave the orders to kill her? The way they cleaned up the crime scene with fire hoses I'm sure we'll never know.

But it doesn't really matter. Because we all know where the young man who actually killed her almost certainly came from.

From one of the thousands of madrassahs run by religious extremists who turn little boys into suicide bombers. So Pakistan's corrupt generals and sinister intelligence services can use them as a proxy army in Kashmir and Afghanistan.

Boys just like this one.

“Even before you blow yourself up, virgins come to the site of the explosion and wait to take you to Paradise...”

The religious fanatics already hated her for being modern, secular, and of course for being a woman. But by vowing to reform or shutdown the radical madrassahs...and threatening the mullahs AND the generals.... Benazir Bhutto almost surely sealed her fate

Still, the secular generals who make up the high command of the Pakistani army must be sipping their scotches nervously in the garrison town of Rawalpindi tonight.

Ever since they sent off the first wave of jihadis to battle the Soviets in Afghanistan...and all those American billions started pouring in..... they've acquired incredible power and wealth.

But now the suicide bombers are amongst them. The killer children they nurtured with the help of crazy religion are turning on their own. And you can't put those kind of demons back in a box once you've let them out.

Today they came for Bhutto..... tomorrow they could come for them. And their nuclear weapons.

Which means that the Great War on Terror just got more complicated... and a lot more dangerous.

Although in one way it's simpler now. The writing is on the wall. Either Pakistan starts destroying religious fanatics instead of breeding them. Or they'll destroy Pakistan.

Poor brave Benazir. She never really had a chance. And she was a really flawed martyr.

But I'm going to miss her...

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Donkey Tales and the War on Christmas










When I saw that West Bank residents had defaced Banksy's donkey not far from where Jesus is supposed to have been born. I couldn't help but think that now the poor Palestinians have lost everything.

Even their sense of humour.

And I also couldn't help but think of another donkey. And one of my favourite childhood Christmas stories.

The story of Small One the poor old abused donkey who finally has his moment of glory...when he gets to carry pregnant Mary to that manger in Bethlehem.

I could never watch that one without choking up.

Of course that was before I learned that Mary was a virgin. And that Small One didn't really exist. And neither does God.

But even as an atheist I love this time of the year. The lights....the songs....the food ...the feeling that we should treat each other more kindly than we do the rest of the time. And of course all that talk about peace on earth.

So it annoys me when I see some religious fanatics claim that we are waging War on Christmas. Even though... as JJ has fun pointing out... there isn't one.

And it disturbs me to see how right wing xenophobes use that fake war to make people believe that foreigners are stealing our culture and traditions.

All this would just be seasonal silliness if it were not cover for a more sinister drumbeat. The right has taken to flying the "Christian" flag in ways that suggest none too subtly that foreigners - Muslims - are stealing our culture and traditions. "They" are stopping "us" celebrating Christmas and teaching Christian stories to our children.

Which is not only nonsense...but dangerous as well.

And the LAST thing we need in Canada.

So I guess I'll just keep on believing that there is no God. Just a lot of humans living on a small and fragile planet who need to respect and care for each other a lot more than we do now if we're going to survive.

Because the earth is our only heaven and our only hell. And the gods aren't going to help us.

While I also keep on enjoying the beautiful myth of a baby born in a manger during a time of terror and persecution. Or the legend of the Hannukah lamp that burned forever. Or the story of Small One the poor humble donkey.

And of course all those Christmas songs....



The words may not mean anything to me. But isn't that HUMAN sound beautiful ?

Merry Christmas...Joyeux Noël...Happy Holidays everyone!

From me and Sébastien ....and my little donkey Kerouac.

Love and justice and peace on earth...

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Secret Postcards and Homeless Gay Kids












I don't know why this postcard made me think of this story.

A new study says there are at least 3,800 people under the age of 25 living on the streets of New York and that almost 30 percent are gay, lesbian or bisexual.

The survey found that while many homeless youth went to city shelters 42 percent slept on the streets, subways or in empty buildings. Some, the study said, turned to prostitution trying to find a "trick" to spend the night with

Maybe it's because like bullying ....being thrown out of your home or being forced to leave and live on the street because of who you are or who you love....is a HIDDEN crime. Some can't see it. Others don't want to.

Even though in NYC it's been a growing problem for years.

With just two dozen beds available for gay, lesbian and transgender youth, they endure violence in the city's shelters, camp out in doorways in Harlem or pass the night at a 24-hour Internet cafe next to Disney's New Amsterdam Theater on 42nd Street. There, many of them trawl the Web for paying ''dates'' or try their luck on Christopher Street in the far West Village, where some quick work in a passing car might yield $30. ''You've got to do what you've got to do to survive,'' says Mr. Murray, who is 22 and has been turning tricks in the Village since he was 15.

And don't think it's any different in the big cities of Canada. Because it isn't. The gay kids are out there. But we can't see them ....or don't want to.

Especially when they turn up on the gentrified streets of our Gay Villages. Smoking crack, begging or bumming cigarettes. Or selling their bodies for a place to sleep.

And to make things even worse ... many of the kids themselves can't talk about what happened to them.

Because they feel bad about telling the truth.

Like sick people sometimes do...

















As if the gay kids were the sick ones instead of those who bullied them at school. Or their own parents who threw them into the street.

So homophobia gets off lightly. Again.

Isn't it time society faced this problem and its cause...and did more to help ALL homeless kids....gay AND straight?

Isn't it time the gay community took more responsibility for the fate of our young people?

Or is it time for a riot?




--------------------------------------

P.S. For more postcards like those above check out the awesome Post Secret Project

And if you are a gay youth in Toronto you can get help at this excellent support centre.

Friday, December 21, 2007

Humpback Whales, iPod Fish, and the Acid Oceans
















I was glad to see that international pressure has forced the Japanese to suspend plans to kill humpback whales.

An international outcry led by Australia has forced Japan to backtrack on plans to kill 50 humpback whales as part of an annual 'scientific' whaling programme regarded as a sham by the rest of the world.

And eat Minke whale sushi instead.

Now who is going to save THIS little fish?












From life in an ipod speaker.

"The fish in this thing does not look like it has very long to live and it can barely move...Even if it does live it's not a life worth living ... it's really just a torture box."

To me confining a little fish to a space as tiny as that just to look cool.... is as cruel as exploding a harpoon in the back of an intelligent sentient social creature when you don't need to eat it.


But what do you expect from people too callous, greedy, and ignorant to understand that?

Just like what do you expect from governments that can't even agree that global warming is a catastrophe that threatens us all?

Even as the oceans turn to acid.

The increasing acidity can eat away at the shells of crabs, oysters, clams and nearly microscopic organisms known as krill and pteropods. It also inhibits calcification, the process in which these animals rebuild their shells. Without shells, most of the animals probably would die.

Which could mean NO fish in a world where as many as one billion people depend on it for survival.

And of course no whales either. Protect them now. Wipe them out later.

Oh boy. How can we save the other living creatures who share this planet with us...


If we can't even save ourselves?

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Getting Ready for Global Orgasm Day

First the bad news: there are still FIVE greedy, anxiety filled days to go before Christmas.

Now the good news: there are only TWO days to go before yummy Global Orgasm Day !!!

"Our minds influence Matter and Quantum Energy fields, so by concentrating our thoughts during and after The Big O on peace and partnership, the combination of high orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention for peace could reduce global levels of violence hatred and fear."

Mmmm....you know I've always wanted to make a significant contribution to peace. Instead of just talking about it. And I guess the chance has finally COME for me to HARDEN my resolve, GET OFF...my ass...and just DO IT.

Because let's face it ... this country NEEDS a collective orgasm right now like plants need sunshine. Or Stephen Harper needs an enema. Very very BADLY.

The number of people out there taking themselves seriously is just about out of control.

And millions and millions of orgasms does seem like a good way to shake the world. To try to make up for killing it in Bali.

So I'm ready to do my part. To be on time for once in my life. And ARRIVE...as we say in French.... at the stroke of 1:08 AM Eastern Standard Time.

All I need is my boyfriend .... and a stopwatch.

















EXCEPT... I've got a problem. We're having a PARTY at our place on Saturday night....and instead of just moi and Sébastien. There is going to be quite a CROWD.

Which leaves me with a really HARD question: Is it even humanly possible for eleven men and seven women..... to come at the same time? Let alone millions. Huh?

Oh well. It's going to be fun to find out. Especially if they're REALLY drunk.

And I have asked some European friends to help me synchronize things.

Because ...as you know....when it comes to coming in concert.

Nobody can DO IT like they can...



Oooh la la. Don't you love that fried egg? Now I KNOW we can do it.

In a quieter way of course. No animal noises please... we're CANADIAN.

Ten...nine...eight...oooh...ahhhh...

Have a good O everyone!!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Stephen Harper and the Monster Man












When I saw that the Cons had released this propaganda photo.....showing Stephen Harper posing as a defender of Canadian children....I almost soiled my diapers.

Not just because NOBODY has done more damage to children and childcare in this country than he has.

But also because any Canadian child that that looked into those cold dead eyes would probably scream and RUN for its life. Help me help me Mommy....it's the Wobot Mwonster Man!!!!

But of course you can't blame the Cons for trying to soften Great Fat Leader's image. Can you?

A new poll suggests Stephen Harper's Conservatives have lost their big lead over the Liberals in the wake of recent controversies, plunging six percentage points in popular support in just one week.

"It's a pretty significant drop on a one-week basis ....We don't see this kind of movement in the numbers very often."

Ouch. Dive. Dive. No wonder they are so DESPERATE.

Bali, Mulroney Schreiber, the nuclear reactor....and they didn't even mention the polling scandal....or Afghanistan. Which is sure to blow up in their faces sooner or later.

But I think there's another reason why Canadians appear to be recoiling in disgust. I think they've taken a close look at Stephen Harper and I wouldn't be surprised if they are starting to wonder whether he is mentally unstable.

And so ended another few days in the public life of Canada's 22nd Prime Minister. Humbled one moment, furious the next, then jovial and smug. No doubt his more ardent supporters will find method in such madness. The rest might be left to wonder why a man two years short of 50 would see fit to comport himself with the instability of a five-year-old. And perhaps his dietician might suggest less sugar.

Or more sunshine ... or some kind of medication.

I mean if a man like that can restart an unsafe nuclear reactor to score cheap political points what's he going to do next? Jail the opposition along with all those pot smokers? Or invade Nepal to please the Dalai Lama?

After insulting him like that.

And why IS he so angry....so cold.....and so NASTY?

You know I think Canadians have had enough of this Chucky Con horror show. I think they've closed their eyes and imagined what Stephen Harper might be like if he ever got a majority. And I don't think they liked what they saw. Shudder.

It's too much like the Mwonster Man.

Oooh...how SCARY!!!!!!

And how AWESOME. Because when it becomes visceral.

Sooner rather than later it's OVER.....

The Pogues, the Beeb, and the Faggot Word

When I heard that the BBC had censored a Pogues song by bleeping the word "faggot" all I could think of was....kookamunga !! With friends like that who needs enemies?

The BBC was forced into an embarrassing reversal after overturning a decision to censor the word “faggot” from the popular Christmas song A Fairytale of New York.

The story of two lovers who trade insults on Christmas Eve, includes the line: “You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot, Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it’s our last.”

And then to make matters even worse. Just when I thought this absurd episode was over.

Along comes Peter Tatchell...

“I challenge anyone who defends the use of the word ‘faggot’ to state that they would also defend the right to use the word ‘nigger’ as a term of abuse in a song. They won’t and that makes them cowardly, homophobic hypocrites.”

Oh no.....carry me off the battlefield. I need to lie down.

He's right of course in the wider sense. People say things about us that they'd never say about any other group. Take our so-called friends at the BBC for example...

It is not the first occasion Radio 1 has run into controversy over the use of potentially homophobic language. Moyles sparked a complaint when he dismissed a ringtone as “gay”. But the BBC Board of Governors ruled that the word now means “lame” or “rubbish” to young people.

Nice. Coming soon .... isn't that JEW? Or isn't that soooooooo BLACK? Or how ARAB can you get?

Like every other gay person I also know that the F word is used to put us down...bully kids..and even on occasion to threaten our lives. It started just about every fight I've ever been in. And I've been in a lot. But it also depends on who says it, where, how, and why.

I mean if two hetero lovers want to insult each other ....like they do in the song.... can YOU think of another nasty word that rhymes with maggott?

Besides when it comes to the Pogues I can PROVE that there was no harmful intent.

By playing this song...




The name of the song? If I Should Fall From Grace With God.

But EVERYONE knows it's got nothing to do with God.

It's just an excuse to DANCE.

Because sometimes words are weapons.

And sometimes they're just WORDS...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S. In case you thought this is just a lefty problem... just check out all the words these right wing religious fanatics seem to frown upon.

"Bisexuals, trisexuals, Homo Sapiens..... Pee Wee Herman, German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein...."

OMFG. Not TRI - sexuals, HOMO Sapiens, Gertrude Stein.... AND German wine.

Kookamunga !! Let the real homophobes be crazy.

Let the rest of us LIGHTEN UP.....

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Darren Manzella: Soldier and Gay Hero
















Darren Manzella is a U.S. Army medic who decided to challenge the ridiculous Don't Ask Don't Tell policy by telling his commanding officer he is gay. And showing him pictures of his boyfriend to prove it.

Only to be told he isn't gay...and to go back to work immediately.

Because although the Pentagon has discharged 12-thousand gay and lesbian soldiers. Now there's a war on they don't want to lose them. So now they're not just bigots...they're hypocrites as well

Manzella told his story to 60 Minutes the other night and you can watch it here.

And today he explained why.

I have served with many men and women in Iraq, Kuwait and throughout the United States. In my opinion, they do not care if a service member is gay or straight. These men and women are my brothers and sisters in arms and I am the same to them. I know that what matters to most is not the sexual orientation of the person in your unit. What matters most is if that person is a good worker, a team player and most importantly, if that person has your back when it really matters...

Which every soldier knows is true. But still didn't stop the religious hatemongers from mouthing off.

“If the bleeding-heart lefties over at CBS News and the SLDN really want to do something to support our troops and help the military, they should abandon their attempts to radically alter and undermine the armed forces, pipe down, put a cork in it and let our brave fighting men and women win this war on terror.”

And insulting all the gay soldiers who are fighting and dying today. Or all those...and their buddies who fought and died in other wars.

















But of course it isn't just a soldier's story.

As Andrew Sullivan points out the policy is aimed at all gay people.

I guess it's a sad but useful reminder that gay people - even those who risk their lives to defend their country - are still, in the eyes of the Republican base, a sub-moral caste of undesirables, people whose presence in any institution - the military, the academy, the priesthood, civil marriage - inherently debases it. There is, alas, nothing we can do to rebut this - no act of courage we can display, no love we can profess, no virtue we can uphold, no family we can defend to prove our civic equality and human dignity. Our inferiority is a priori for the religious right. It makes us impossible to "bond with," because we are moral contaminants. That's what we've learned this past decade. And it's the only reason the policy remains in place.

Exactly.

Good for Darren Manzella and the men and women at SLDN. Their fight is our fight.

Darren is a gay hero.

The struggle continues...

Monday, December 17, 2007

Talking Jesus and the Blessed Meteorite















Some good news and some bad news tonight from the wild and wacky world of religion.

First the bad news. The Talking Jesus dolls have been flying off the shelves so fast.... they've almost disappeared.

"We feel blessed that the toys are now in the hands of thousands of children, teaching them the word of God.

Lucky children. And the good news?

As far as I know Meteorite Jesus is still available.

" I heard a voice, and it said, 'Look and see if you can see a face,'" he said. "And I looked, and I saw an image of Jesus Christ.....I've had people look at it, and they can't look at it anymore; it's too much."

"I believe science needs to take a look at this and study it to see what it means...."












Er....right.

Or maybe science should just study him. And try to determine once and for all where religion ends.... and madness begins.

Jesus in a tortilla. If we can't wean adults from this nonsense.

Can't we at least protect the kids?

Mulroney, the Bavarians, and the Fate of Joe Clark















I must admit that after I heard The Bloater Mulroney go on about Der Schnitzel Schreiber's amazing anti-obesity pasta....and his plans to fight the fatty epidemic in the United States...and how he was going to talk to Bill Gates about it .... I kinda lost track of everything else.

I was laughing so hard.

But luckily Andrew Coyne didn't.

Now I have my own list of questions. But the one I want answered the most is....did the government of a right-wing Bavarian jelly roll help bring down Joe Clark? And stick the first knife in the ribs of the Progressive Conservative party.

If you want a sniff of that stinky scandal check out the interview with Walter Wolf here.

Now I never would have voted for Joe Clark. And he does seem to have been one of the dorkiest political leaders in Canadian history. More suited to take on Laurier...than engage in the grubby performance art of modern politics.

But nobody can deny that he is a thoroughly honest and decent man....a great Canadian in the real sense of the word. I wouldn't LIKE it if a Joe Clark style Conservative government ruled this country. But I wouldn't WORRY about it. Because I would be sure the best of our Canadian values would be safe in their hands.

Not endangered as they are now in the hands of the Harper Cons.

So I REALLY want to know how a bunch of right-wing Bavarians interfered in the political life of our country....and greased Brian Mulroney's road to power. And of course WHY ?

And I bet a lot of other Canadians would be interested in finding out more about that too.

So we can better understand why a bunch of politicians went from defending our interests to selling them out.

The Bloater, Der Shnitzel, a televised public inquiry, a grubby Con scandal, AND a history lesson. What MORE can we ask for ?

Roll out the barrel.

It's must be Weihnachten in Kanada....

The Basra Retreat and the Leon of Scotland
















I see the British handed over Basra to the Iraqi security forces today, and made it sound like it was some sort of victory.

When in fact the Battle for Basra was more like the siege of Kut Al Amar.

A disaster from start to finish.

I mean just ask the police chief.

"They left me militia, they left me gangsters, and they left me all the troubles in the world...."

OK ..... so maybe he's biased after having survived 20 assassination attempts in six months.

But look what's happening to the women.

Their autopsies revealed painful deaths. One woman found in “a red dress” had a 9mm bullet wound in her left hand, three in her right hand, three in her right upper arm, and three in her back. Two of the women were beheaded, one with a saw.

If anyone can call that victory they must be insane. And The Civil War: The Main Event hasn't even started.

But luckily for the chickenhawks almost nobody in Britain was paying attention today. Or wondering how many lives that "victory" cost....or whether it was worth it. Or how the fuck they are going to get the rest of their shrinking force out before the place explodes.

The big topic of conversation today .... apart from the big football match between Arsenal and Chelsea.... was Saturday night's X-Factor Grand Finale. And how Rhydian....the odds on favourite.


Was beaten by the Leon of Scotland.



Wow. Holy kipper. From Whitburn, to a GAP store in Glasgow, to million dollar stardom...or close to it...

"If he's hoping to buy his mammy a house in the Highlands, he may have to wait a while..."

Now I believe ANYTHING is possible!!!

Except victory in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Oh I know. We all want to believe in miracles.

But sometimes we can't...

------------------------------

P.S. Leon says his idol is our very own Michael Buble!!!! Can you believe THAT????


Yup...

Saturday, December 15, 2007

The Highway to Holiness: The Sequel

Remember the story about how Pat Robertson and his fellow religious fanatics recently declared Highway I-35 to be the Highway to Holiness?

"The concept is that you can take a highway and establish it as God's kingdom....We want to take I-35 and get rid of all the impurities that Satan and his followers have over the geographic region and the people who live along the highway..."

And how they decided to hold so-called "Purity Sieges" at abortion clinics and gay bars ?

And how at one of those "sieges" a young gay man named James Stabile was touched by a raving wingnut? And turned into a STRAIGHT guy!!!

If you don't remember that shocking scene maybe you should watch this video again....but don't say I didn't warn ya....



I know that after watching that propaganda video most of my friends found it hilarious or infuriating. But I was really WORRIED.

All I could think of was ....what ever HAPPENED to poor brother James?

"He just barely touched me and he said, 'Fire!' and I remember staggering back and I thought I was tripping on acid. It was the weirdest thing ever. And he said, 'Fire!' again and I fell in the Holy Ghost.....I didn't feel the desires to be with men like I had felt before..."

I have to admit that after James said that, I immediately suspected that BAD party drugs were to blame. I've heard that some of them...like ecstasy...can make you so sensitive that if you take off all your clothes on a warm WINDY day... you can cum without even touching yourself.

And I thought that when the religious freak laid his hands on his shirtless shoulders....and shouted "Fire!!!!" ...and BLEW on him... James might have had an unfortunate....um....accident. And an unusual religious experience.

As in .......oooh.....aahhhhhhh.......GEE .... ZUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But it turns out he was just mentally ill.

Which made me feel really bad and really dum. You'd think that after all this time I'd know that religion and mental illness go together like bread and butter...or "holy" desert dwellers and camels.

But never mind.... the good news is that James is back with his loving parents. And apparently he never REALLY left us.

Joseph’s parents said James has a tendency to be less than truthful, especially when he’s off his medication, and that he loves attention. They said they don’t believe he’s ever questioned his sexuality, but that the folks from Heartland manipulated and exploited him for publicity.

Hmmmm.... Which reminds me of yet another reason why I am so proud to be gay.

In any other oppressed group fighting for its life a member who consorted with the enemy...or made propaganda films for them....would be shunned...or kneecapped. Or in his case forced to read the Bible backwards.

But all James can expect when he returns is a lot of hugs, a lot of kidding....and of course if I was there..... a very loud....

"Welcome home...... IDIOT !!!"

As for the Highway to Holiness it's gone back to its old name. The Hellish Highway to Nowhere.

Which only makes sense.

Because you don't really need a map to know where crazy religion is going.

Do ya?

Friday, December 14, 2007

So Now I Know Why I am Gay...















When I was a child I loved the story of Peter Pan....the boy who refused to grow up.

So much so in fact that when my parents took me to a production in Edinburgh at the age of eight....and I saw that Peter was played by a GIRL!!!!

It almost broke my little gay heart.

So you can imagine how happy I was to read this story.

Desmond Morris, who became a bestselling author by applying zoology to explain human behaviour, has now utilised the techniques to put forward an explanation for homosexuality.

In his latest book, The Naked Man, he concludes that men are “made gay” because they retain infantile or juvenile characteristics into adulthood – a phenomenon known as neoteny.

Wow!! EXCELLENT. It turns out we are ALL Peter Pans and we didn't even know it!!

But NEO -- teny? Uh oh. That sounds ominous.

Although I must admit the rest of this dubious theory does seem quite flattering.

According to this theory, gay men also tend to be more inventive and creative than heterosexuals because they are more likely to retain the mental agility and playfulness of childhood.

“The playfulness of childhood is continued with certain people into adulthood. This is very much a positive. Adult playfulness means that certain people, often a fairly large proportion of them gay, are more inventive and curious than heterosexuals.”

Yes that MUST be true. As Sébastien always says as he tucks me into my cradle at night: "Just be thankful for homophobia Simon...because it helps keep you young."

Goo goo gah gah.

Although maybe having to fight for your own freedom all your life....or not hating others like they hate you....does keep you young. So we can run faster than the homophobes can.

And this theory at least isn't as stupid as the mummy loved you too much and daddy didn't love you enough one.

But I do want to make it clear that despite my inner child I do want to grow up. In fact I can't WAIT to be a really mature and serious and wise gay old man.

Or do I ?

Hmmm. Wait a minute. Hold the wire whisk. Did I REALLY say I want to grow up?

I change my mind.

Cmon Tinky you twinky little lesbian. Sprinkle some fairy dust over Sébastien .

And let's go back to Neverland...

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Aqsa Parvez and the Curse of Religion












She was a beautiful young Canadian who just wanted to be like the other girls. She didn't want religion. She didn't want to wear a hijab. And now she's dead.... killed by her own father.

Nobody could save her. But everybody has a theory about why she died. The right wing hatemongers are blaming immigrants and Mooslims.

We used to be rude to every immigrant that came to Canada, with the result that most of them got their acts together and assimilated.

Only recently have we begun telling immigrants to maintain their own traditions, and the result is a dead Muslim girl.


If they are wearing "traditional garb" but "don't necessarily want to do so" -- their "masters" will soon come around when we start shunning them everywhere they go.

Other more rational people are pointing at the immigrant experience.

And the head of the Canadian Islamic Congress says it's just a "teenager issue."

But of course the REAL problem is religion.

All of the major ones were written by hairy, superstitious , monumentally ignorant desert dwellers who believed that men were made to rule the world. Or at least the tent where they lived with their camels...and their fifty wives.

And that women were born to serve them.

Or carry their divine seed like flowerpots.
















To be owned ....or smashed.

I mean just checkout what the mad medieval monk in the Vatican is raving about this week.

Nuclear arms proliferation, environmental pollution and economic inequality are threats to world peace -- but so are abortion, birth control and same-sex marriage, Pope Benedict XVI said in a statement released by the Vatican Tuesday

You can't get more patriarchal.....or INSANE than that.

The question is what do we do about it at a time when all over Canada clashes between religious and secular values are fuelling a sometimes ugly debate....before it degenerates into something even worse?

My suggestion? The opposition parties should come up with this kind of motion:

Whereas we in this country believe that everyone should have the freedom to practice the religion of their choice. And we encourage all Canadians to accomodate their differences in a reasonable way. We also strongly believe that if and when religious freedoms collide with human rights, the human rights of Canadians must ALWAYS prevail.

It would draw a line in the sand and send out a powerful message to everyone living here...and those still to arrive That's the kind of Canada we want and if you don't like it too bad .....or don't come.

A bit like this symbolic message Quebec sent out today.

Until the curse of religion is lifted off our backs...and we have a truly secular society....women will never be equal. Girls like Aqsa Parvez will be continue to be abused or murdered. So will gay people. And the world will just get crazier and crazier.

Of course..... I realize it would be a horrible blow to Stephen Harper. He would have to choose between supporting the motion...and losing his religious base.

Or opposing it and losing Quebec and other parts of Canada.

Which means either way he would probably NEVER form a government again.

But hey...if you're trying to head off an ugly problem. Trying to make sure that what happened to poor Aqsa never happens again.

And you end up getting rid of an ugly government....full of religious fanatics.

Isn't that a bonus?

Rhydian and the End of Gay Culture




















His name is Rhydian Roberts....and he's the odds on favourite to win this weekend's final of Britain's hideous but mega X-Factor talent show. As well as the pride of Wales.

And not only that. Something even more meaningful.

For years the conservative gay commentator Andrew Sullivan has gone on and on about the end of gay culture.

Which he once summed up in this paragraph:

Slowly but unmistakably, gay culture is ending ....In fact, it is beginning to dawn on many that the very concept of gay culture may one day disappear altogether. By that, I do not mean that homosexual men and lesbians will not exist--or that they won't create a community of sorts and a culture that sets them in some ways apart--I mean simply that what encompasses gay culture itself will expand into such a diverse set of subcultures that 'gayness' alone will cease to tell you very much about any individual."

But after viewing one of Rhydian's videos recently.... he was forced to admit he might be wrong.

Which he NEVER does.

Until he was saved by the bell. The terrible truth was revealed. Rydian isn't just NOT gay. He's a virgin and a devout Christian!!!

I am not a closet Christian. If someone asks me about it, I will talk about it. I do pray on Saturdays but then I pray every day. But what will be will be, it's God's will and that is a great mental attitude to have."

OMFG. No wonder I prefer the originals....




Now THAT'S gay.

Who else could wear salad bowls on their heads...and make it look avant garde?

Or make you want to join the Red Army.

Sorry Rhydian. Until you get rid of your imaginary friend or trick....and that HIDEOUS Hitler youth haircut.

You can't sing for me dahling.

Who says gay culture is dead?