Gawd. I bet I know how Stephen Harper is spending the May Two-Four weekend eh? Trying to build up his courage to say sorry to the Chief Justice for smearing her so viciously, like a thug or a maniac. And hoping that nobody noticed how he jinxed the Montreal Canadien's first game against the New York Rangers...
When I first heard that Stephen Harper was going to visit Israel, his spiritual homeland, at first I was amused. I figured it was just another excuse to escape the Senate scandal. And I couldn't wait to see him driving his getaway burro through the streets of Jerusalem. Trying to look like a Canadian Messiah. Instead of just a corrupt leader on the lam. But then when I saw how many people were going with him I was shocked.
For the last two weeks I was lucky to have been in Britain as the Rupert Murdoch / News International scandal hit that country like a massive meteorite, rocking its very foundations.
It was an awesome spectacle. The torrent of outrage, the angry debates in Parliament, the unrelenting media coverage, the sight of the Con Prime Minister trying to explain why his former media advisor, and close friend, was arrested.
Or trying to dodge questions about his cozy relationship with Murdoch's dragon lady Rebekah Brooks, whose enormous country estate is only a mile away from where the Camerons live. And who frequently came over for drinkies.
Or the police chief trying to explain why Murdoch's minions had been able to hack so many phones, bribe police officers, and get away with it for so long.
And needless to say I found the whole sordid show hugely entertaining...
Mr Murdoch arrived in London yesterday, wearing a Panama hat and clutching a final copy of the News of the World, in a bid to save his crumbling organisation after the phone-hacking scandal saw the 168-year-old paper axed.
But he flew straight into another storm as it was claimed 9/11 victims may have had their mobiles tapped by News of the World reporters.
Because NOTHING could hurt Fox News as much as being associated with the defilement of those victims.
And the Fox News Gang knows that this story is bad news. So they're not touching it with a "ten foot turban."
Which just about says it all about what kind of "journalists" and people work at Murdoch's Krazy Con network.
My only regret ? Last Sunday in Scotland, my brother bought me a copy of the News of the World's last edition. He said it might be worth something in about fifty years. But after glancing at that hideous tabloid wanking away about its "proud" record of filth, sexism, and scandal, I tossed it into the recycling bin.
Only to think later that I should have tossed it onto the barbeque and made a YouTube of it burning. I'm sure it would have been my most popular video ever eh?
Especially if I had roasted a pig that looked like Stephen Harper Rupert Murdoch over its smouldering embers.
But sadly others beat me to the idea.
And they did it better...
Now imagine Fox News roasting over that sewer grate.
Or better still our own Con media getting grilled for polishing Stephen Harper's ample arse with their noses.
What about the Murdochian impulse to control politics along a right-wing axis? Well, the National Post was clearly created in 1998 to push Canadian journalism rightward and has had smashing success. In last May’s election, every daily in Canada, except the Star and the smallish Le Devoir, endorsed Stephen Harper. Even in the last U.K. election you didn’t get such uniformity.
Mmmmm....slurp....drool.
What did somebody say about Stephen Harper the other day?
Bruce Carson was the Prime Minister’s point man on Canada’s mission in Afghanistan and was provided sensitive information about the military mission despite his criminal record, the Star has learned.
“He was the point of contact . . . He was Harper’s guy,” the source said.
Can you believe that? No wonder we lost the war eh?
But what will our faithful allies think?
News of the added criminal charges are raising red flags among those involved in the Afghanistan file, as they question how a man with such a past could have obtained the security clearances needed to participate in the calls — and gain access to their secrets.
Those on the call typically required a “top secret” clearance since the sensitive information being discussed involved not only Canada’s military but also those of other nations too.
Now they won't tell us ANYTHING.
Oh well. Look at it on the bright side. Try to forget about all the dead people, or all the tortured ones, or all the lies, or even how the former escort feels violated.
Although that's difficult.
Just think of it as an excellent way to link one sordid scandal with another.
In the middle of an election campaign.
And then I think you'll agree with me, these Con scandals are gifts that keep on giving.
Uh oh. Talk about poking our privacy. The bitter nerd Stephen Harper has been caught with his pants down reading our Facebook pages. And looking like a creeper.
Prime Minister Stephen Harper is suddenly on the defensive for running a closed and "unCanadian" campaign after two university students were ejected from one of his rallies because they had posted a Facebook picture of themselves with Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff.
An Amerikan.
"I just think when you get to a situation where people can't come to a public meeting in Canada and get thrown out by two heavies because they have a Facebook friend from another party, you're in a bad place," he added. "You're in a very unCanadian place."
It’s absurd to suggest that the same man who needs protection from reporters and politically curious young women is fit to handle further economic crises, wars in Libya and Afghanistan and the ever-present risk of natural disaster, major accident or terrorist attack on Canadian soil. If you want to sell the Prime Minister’s strong leadership, avoiding unforced errors like these is a good place to start.
And look who came flying to his defence. Looking like a chicken, and shitting like a Pigeon.
"Today, Michael Ignatieff called Prime Minister Stephen Harper un-Canadian. Michael Ignatieff is hardly on solid ground on this issue," said Baird, who then launched into the familiar Conservative talking points about Ignatieff's patriotism, or lack thereof, in their view.
The gay guy who services serves the homophobes. Talk about a credibility gap eh?
But of course Ignatieff is absolutely right. This sinister Facebook totalitarianism came straight from Amerika.
From the diseased mind of George Bush's flying monkey Karl Rove.
He created a data base that allowed the Republicans to know what Americans were thinking, neighbourhood after neighbourhood, block after block.
From the moment they came to power Harper's AmeriCons did the same thing, gathering masses of information on every Canadian, so they could tailor their dirty wedge issues accordingly.
They read our blogs and facebook pages, they monitor chatrooms, they try to find out who we are, where we work, and whether we have any weaknesses they can use against us. It's the greatest invasion of privacy in the history of this country, and in the hands of these totalitarian thugs, it's a mortal threat to our democracy.
The good news? If they were hoping to win over the youth vote they can forget about that now. Lying about an i-pod tax is bad enough.
But creeping out Facebook pages is totally not done. And Great Chicken Leader is about to find that out the hard way.
You know, when the Cons are defeated there will have to be a massive police investigation to find out what this un-Canadian regime has been up to without our knowledge.
But while the cops go after the Cons.
I'm going after the database eh?
Like this guy did...
Golly. Do you think I could get John Baird to sing "Stephen...Stephen... give me your answer do"
"I'm half crazy over my love for YOUUUUUuuuuuuuuu...."
Nah. That would be TOO good.
Hey kids. Now you have NO excuse. Defeat those sinister AmeriCons.
Gawd. I must admit I got a bit of a shock when I saw that Robert Silver was recommending that Stephen Harper call an election TOMORROW.
If I were Stephen Harper, given the pile of scandals that have the potential to become a dominant election issue (and there is no reason at this time to think that any of the scandals Harper is facing is harming him electorally), I think it would be foolhardy to give the opposition two extra weeks to lay tracks.
Because Silver is normally quite rational, but Harper isn't, he's a maniac. And when the voices in his head are screaming "Gimme my MAJORITY #!%!!# " he's capable of ANYTHING.
And I saw Bev Oda standing there in the House of Commons, while Con MPs rushed to fill the seats behind her so it didn't look like she was speaking to an empty chamber...
Reciting her lines like a badly wired PMO robot. Or one of the Stepford Wives.
And I thought of the Con gang leaving town in a hurry...in her limo.
To try to get away from her odour, and this scandal.
Or try to avoid explaining why Jason Kenney is looking like a werewolf version of Richard Nixon. With his lame lies, the permanent five-o-clock shadow, and his insatiable lust for beef chow mein.
Or why Dimitri Soudas thinks he can get away with buying votes with OUR money.
And then, when I thought of all of the above, and I thought of all those Cons in that getaway limo, and how good it would look on TV...
Everywhere I went today one of the latest Con attack ads seemed to follow me around. At home, at work, in the corner store, wherever I looked there it was. It was horrible, like something out of Big Brother.
The creepy leering voice..."Michael Ignatieff wants it soooooo much..." sent a shiver down my spine. I kept looking over my shoulders to make sure I wasn't being followed by a pervert. A sinister Con operative.... or podium goon.
The weird, angry, deeply disturbed man who would do ANYTHING for a majority. So he can cut government to the bloody bone, attack the rights of women and gays, ban abortion, strangle medicare.
Well I warned you long ago that he had authoritarian tendencies eh?
That he likes to see fear in the eyes of others, that he believes he owns the truth, even though he lies all the time.
And that he is driven by a compulsive desire to destroy his opponents, bully others into submission, AND own the podium.
“After the PM spoke, handlers removed the podium and there was an awkward wait while organizers scrambled to find a replacement. At the same time, PMO media officials ushered the media out of the room.
But I feel it's only fair to remind Canadians that when he acts like a power hungry megalomaniac.
"It's not Stepen Harper's government, it's the goverment of all Canadians," Liberal MP Dominic LeBlanc told CBC News. "You'd expect this kind of directive to be issued by the ministry of information in North Korea."
"Can the prime minister confirm that he paid Ms. Ouimet hush money to cover up the fact her office was used to bury complaints from public servants?" Bains asked.
The good news? Now EVERYBODY knows that the next election will be all about Stephen Harper.
To say that he sets the tone of government is to engage in understatement. He sets tone, tempo and pace. He writes the libretto and composes the melody.
Which leaves it to us. How much do we dislike him? How much do we mistrust him? Do we dislike and mistrust the other party leaders more?
Is he the strong Prime Minister required by perilous times? Or is he just nasty?
Or is he just a dangerous mentally unbalanced ideologue, with a disturbing past, and a secret plan to strangle medicare?
In 1999, a right-wing doctor, David Gratzer, wrote a book, Code Blue, that tore apart medicare, suggesting it should be replaced by U.S.-style private medicine and medical savings accounts. Dr. Gratzer now advises Republicans on health care.
Commenting on the book, Mr. Harper said: “Gratzer proposes a workable solution for the biggest policy problem of the coming generation – government-controlled health-care monopoly. Canada needs Gratzer’s solution.” Mr. Harper’s praise appeared on the cover jacket of Code Blue.
Golly. I think I like that last question the BEST.
Because it will help even the dumbest Canadians answer what will undoubtedly become THE QUESTION of the next election:
Would you trust this corrupt, power hungry, maniac bully with a MAJORITY?
Wow. What a great horror movie eh? I just wish it was in smell-o-vision.
Stephen Harper is losing his marbles.The ghost of Christopher Harper is on OUR side.
Lordy. What a difference a day makes. If this roller coaster ride gets any more exciting I'm going to have to put the phone on hold, and light up a cigarette.
Yesterday the Cons were heading for a crushing majority.
The new survey shows the Tories have a 16-point lead over the Liberals, led by Michael Ignatieff. The Grits, who have been trying to stoke voter anger over the government’s performance, have the support of 27% of voters, up by two points.
Today another poll comes out, and whoops, hold the champagne or the hemlock. Suddenly they're NOT.
A new poll by Harris-Decima for The Canadian Press added Wednesday to the confusing mix of surveys released over the past week.
It put Tory support at 36 per cent, the Liberals at 28 and the NDP at 15.
I'm not a polling expert so I don't know what to believe. Although I tend to agree with Allan Gregg.
Gregg has incurred the wrath of some of his competitors since he went public last month with blunt criticism of the methodological problems facing the industry and the penchant of pollsters and reporters to over-hype dubious between-election political survey results.
But this I do know, there is no reason to despair. The Cons have been blanketing the airwaves with their attack ads and their Porky Action Plan ads, that are nothing more than Con propaganda paid for with OUR money.
We haven't started fighting back yet, but we're still ALIVE.
And when we do start running attack ads, and we ask Canadians whether they can trust a man who is buying votes with our tax dollars. Or trying to game the system. Like those in his inner circle are accused of doing with the so called In and Out or Hump and Pump scandal.
A man who would allow a cabinet minister to get away with doctoring a document, and would put a cat among the pigeons.
A former Conservative party official charged last week in the “in-and-out” election spending affair is now working in the office of the auditor general of Canada, the government’s chief spending watchdog.
A man who gutted the census, and is planning to murder medicare.
You know... this guy...
The vampire who wants a majority, so he can run the blood bank.
Yup. When we start asking Canadians whether they can trust a man like that who lies about EVERYTHING, will be the day we start hitting the Cons where it HURTS.
And by the time Spring arrives I wouldn't be surprised if the Con castle crumbles like this one I saw the other day...
(Click pic to enlarge)
Golly. Remind me to order crab to go with the champagne at our victory party.
You know, I might still have a smoke eh?
Having to talk so many of my progressive friends out of jumping off tall buildings has taken its toll. Even though I always tell them the same thing.
Cheer-up and get ready to attack the Cons like we never have before.
A civil court victory the Conservative Party has touted as vindication against charges of election wrongdoing has been unanimously overturned by the Federal Court of Appeal.
The ruling confirms Elections Canada's interpretation of electoral spending laws and says it was reasonable for the electoral watchdog to reject the way the Conservative Party reported national advertising expenses for the 2006 election.
But did we really need a court victory to tell us what we already knew?
The Cons tried to steal an election, they tried to rape our democracy. They never should have been elected.
And they are no longer fit to remain in office.
You know I've always thought the name "In and Out Scandal" was horribly appropriate eh?
What better name to describe what Stephen Harper is doing to this country?
Oink. Oink. Squeal. Grunt...
So even the dumbest Canadians can get it.
Oh boy. All I can say is if these piggy Cons won't resign.
Well I see Bev Oda is riding in a more modest limo these days, for the sake of appearances. And that Stephen Harper is still pedalling away furiously claiming she didn't lie to Parliament.
If Oda does not resign, or Stephen Harper does not fire her, then the government will have turned its back on the basic principle of accountability to Parliament.
Then there is the question of motive, and whose fingerprints are figuratively on the document. Immigration Minister Jason Kenney has been quoted as saying that Kairos was de-funded because of its anti-Israeli investment policies, on alleged grounds of human-rights violations. But if that's his story, the decision not to fund the agency was taken either at Cabinet or PMO. This leads to a tick-tock, of who ordered what and when. Then you're getting into cover-up territory, a very dangerous place.
But at least Bev can smoke in her new limo eh? And at least we know who is in charge. Oh.My.Gangster. She must really know a LOT about this sordid scandal. And who really put the NOT on the document she signed.
Golly. Or should I say molly? Can we call her Prime Minister Oda, or do we have to wait until Harper is ARRESTED?
Because as Gerald Caplan points out it's all about him.
Whenever it appears that Stephen Harper may be closer to that elusive goal of majority government, along comes Stephen Harper to remind suspicious Canadians they’re dead right to be suspicious. That’s what the Bev Oda fiasco is really about.
And about his ideological war on all those who believe in Canadian values.
Never mind that many de-funded organizations were promoting maternal and child health, ostensibly Mr. Harper's big personal cause. Yet because they also pursue issues that Stephen Harper will not abide – human rights for Palestinians, women’s equality, climate change – they are anathema in his eyes.
And we are going to use all of the above to smear Harper and the Cons, until the shit runs down their faces, and they lick it up like chocolate.
And of course until John Baird stops pretending he's Bev Oda.
Because he looks HIDEOUS in purple.
Or just SLIMY.
Oh yeah. We are going to use this juicy scandal to DESTROY those bully Cons. I don't just want them driven from office. I want them JAILED.
You know, yesterday I was so depressed about the political situation I felt like I was drowning.
But today I'm LAUGHING...
OUCH. I mean NOT.
Now the Cons are drowning. In their own excrement.
Bev, Bev, are you sure you don't want me to call you a wheelbarrow?
Oh my Big Brother. Stephen Harper and his sinister Cons have had a lot of bad days. But even by the standards of the B-movie Orwellian horror show that is Canada these days, this had to be one of the worst.
There was Great Leader repeating his Con talking points over and over again like some sort of sinister robot, with smoke coming out of his ears orifices.
"Speaker, the minister took a decision. She's been clear about that, clear in this House. It was clear before committee," the prime minister told the House as Oda remained in her seat.
While ignoring the essential question: Who doctored that document?
And was it HIM?
While just behind Great Scandal Leader, Bev "Limo" Oda was slouching in her seat, wearing sunglasses. So nobody could see her in the same television picture as Harper. And if they did, hopefully they wouldn't recognize her.
Observant scribes began to tweet that when the prime minister stood to answer questions in the House, another minister, Rona Ambrose, would suddenly change her posture in order to shield Ms. Oda from the TV cameras. While John Baird was answering any questions directed at Oda. So he could wear a purple dress. And she could stay hidden like the invisible woman.
Behind the Village Idiot...
Because as Bev Baird said, she's innocent eh?
Gawd. Luckily none of this matters. All that matters is who doctored the document? And when can we arrest HIM?
And if Harper DID add the smoking NOT, and Oda knows it. And that's why Great Leader is too scared to fire her.
And who can blame him?
Does this mean she can now bend him to her will? And is now the REAL Prime Minister?
Oh no. How will we know who is REALLY running this country? Big Oil, Big Brother, or Big Bev?
Answer: wait to see whether she gets a new limo...
Oh boy. These Con klowns have gotta go.
Stephen Harper a strong leader? NOT.
Bev, Bev, can I call you a limo.... with a swimming pool?
