Thursday, December 09, 2010

Stephen Harper and the Dancing Dog














Damn. I HATE correcting myself. And apologizing to my readers is even MORE humiliating. But you know when I saw a picture of Stephen Harper humping a piano last night and I gave him a bad review.

Now that I've seen the video.

And read Rev.Paperboy's review. I have to admit I was way too generous. Because it was a real  FREAK SHOW.

The grating voice, the desperate look, the weird intensity, the forced smile, the gaping orifice...











Yikes. Surely only his dentist should know that much about him eh? And is he singing or is he yodelling?

Besides I really should have mentioned that if Keith Richards was living in Harper's Canada, he'd be serving three life sentences without parole in one of the singing dictator's new jails.

But at least my review wasn't as lame as this one.

“Not even one song in French,” a senior Ignatieff official told The Globe and Mail on Thursday morning. “One week after Quebec’s artistic elite (over 100 songwriters and singers) came to Parliament Hill on C-32. It shows that he is clueless about Quebec culture.”

OMG. Doesn't anyone in the Liberal Party know what they are doing? Don't they understand that complaining about that could make the Cons even MORE popular in English Canada?

So what should should they have said? How about asking Great Screeching Leader why he's spending so much time rehearsing with a band during a time of economic uncertainty. And who does he think he is? The piano player on the Titanic?

And what are we supposed to do if we hit the iceberg? Sing for OUR supper?

And BTW what are the Cons doing singing and stuffing their fat faces, when so many Canadians are going HUNGRY? The callous porkers.

Oh boy. When will progressives in this country understand that thanks to the Cons politics is now WAR ? And that if we ever hope to defeat this evil regime we have to hit them where it HURTS.

The good news? We won't have to hit them too hard, because they're going nowhere.

Which I suppose explains the desperate look on Stephen Harper's face last night. I've spent more than a billion bucks trying to make myself look pretty, I'm singing FIVE songs, and STILL they don't love me?

WAAAAAAAAH.













The good news for Harper? The Blogging Tories don't just love him. They're blowing him like GROUPIES.












And if the next time he stricks, he sings in French Spanish.

I'm sure he can convince this little guy to vote for him...



Sorry again about giving Harper such a good bad review eh?

But after this FREAK SHOW.

I promise you it won't happen again...

10 comments:

ck said...

I'm hoping Pale can come up with one of her award winning special videos.

Anonymous said...

:)))
"...gaping orifice..."
I knew I could count on you:)
Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Sweet one legged Jesus running a marathon! You're a brute Simon.

I come here to see what's up and then have to wash my eyes under the tap for half an hour to try to rid myself of the images of the Reformatory head clown in various ridiculous and awkward poses as he lives his adolescent fantasy, fer reals. Did he sing that oldie but goodie "Let them eat Cake"?

No Video for me, the images make me utterly nauseous.

This man is a walking psychological disaster and its Canada he's walking all over.

Frack. Now I'm finding myself morbidly curious about the video...arghhh. It's like passing an accident scene, you know that you shouldn't look but you can't help yourself, 'cause its so horrible. :-O

Stewart

Beijing York said...

LOVE the dancing dog, Simon.

I only saw one song and it was stiff and corny.

But that first screen cap is priceless. Was that an attempt at rocking it out? He looks like a televangelist.

Beijing York said...

Speaking of evangelicals singing, you have to feature this at some point Simon.

"Jesus Rap" by Hip Hop Harriet and Olivia Orangutan:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmpPuAPP-Kw

Simon said...

hi ck...I'm sure it will provide some good material for us All. :)

Simon said...

Hi anonymous...well if you look at the picture I don't think it's possible to have a more gaping orifice than that eh? Without dislocating your jaw. I think I must warn everyone. Expect to see that picture over and over again because I just LOVE it... :)

Simon said...

hi Stewart...oh you HAVE to watch the video it's sooooo bad it's EXCELLENT.I'm not kidding at one point he throws himself around like a drag queen screaming love me or I'll KILL you. Or the Elephant Man shouting I'm a human being not a cold psychopathic MONSTER !!!!!!
I was serious though, when I said he looked desperate. He is really going nowhere.
Although of course, I'm even more desperate to see him go ANYWHERE... :)

Simon said...

hi Stewart...oh you HAVE to watch the video it's sooooo bad it's EXCELLENT.I'm not kidding at one point he throws himself around like a drag queen screaming love me or I'll KILL you. Or the Elephant Man shouting I'm a human being not a cold psychopathic MONSTER !!!!!!
I was serious though, when I said he looked desperate. He is really going nowhere.
Although of course, I'm even more desperate to see him go ANYWHERE... :)

Simon said...

hi Beijing...I'm glad you liked the doggie. It wasn't an easy choice. I had to choose between that one and a pug in a tutu. But I decided to save that one for John Baird. :)
As for the screen caps...I don't think I've ever drilled a mother lode as rich as this one.
I'll be going through it frame by frame, and I think I'll be running a lot of them.
And thank you for the YouTube link.
I think I'll file that one between Jebeesus and Jimbo Flaherty... :)