Boycotting Jamaica and Killing Murder Music

As gays in Canada and the United States prepare to boycott Jamaica, I see the Tourism Minister of Blood Island says he's not worried.

Well oink oink. Maybe he should be. I mean look what happened to da bigot bumbaclaat Bounty Killer.

“Bounty Killer bragged that he was invincible. He vowed his concerts would go ahead and boasted that no gays could stop him. Look who's crying now."

Oh da poor little ting. Give him a battyman boner to chew or suck on. Muahahaha.

Then of course there's this other musical setback.

“Join our dance and let’s burn the queer man.

Heh heh heh. Look who's dancing now. Look who's getting BURNED.

Which leaves us with the burning question of how hard will it be to mobilize public opinion against the homophobic terrorist state of Jamaica? Answer: Not very,

Because you see it's not just gay people who are threatened on Blood Island. Straight people are also in TERRIBLE danger.

If the homophobe zombies don't go after them with machetes because they LOOK gay...as in a woman and her sister.... the CRIMINALS are sure to get them. The police might not protect them unless they're bribed. Because some of them are criminals themselves.

And even if they do manage to escape getting killed or mutilated ....or coming down with some horrible disease like malaria. They still have to try to escape the armies of hustlers.

A sibilant 'sssssst!' to catch your attention is the first indication that hustlers have their eyes on you. If you as much as glance in their direction, they'll attempt to reel you in like a flounder.

Aggressive persistence is key to their success and shaking them off can be a wearying process.

A good defensive gambit is to play like a savvy local: 'Cho mon, doan't harass de touris'!'

Good luck with that one. Just make sure you have life insurance...and/or a first aid kit.

Yup folks. Of all the beautiful places in the sun, Jamaica is the LAST place you want to go to.

But don't worry. Me and my gay posse are on the job.

By the time we've finished with the homophobic Zombies of Blood Island.

They'll be killing and eating each other...