Monday, October 30, 2006

Piggy Politics, Crazy Christie, and the Hidden Enemy















Ok let's get one thing straight right off the bat. This Good Ol' Boy Farce changes nothing. Peter MacKay is still a fratboy lout, a liar and a coward. And, of course, a dog.

Everyone knows he said it. Everyone knows he lied. That Dumbo Hound is going to wear that like a collar for the rest of his life.

Just like Norman Spector, the old codger Con, is going to be known from now on as just a tiresome old bitch.

"I think she's a bitch. It's as simple as that. And I think that 90 percent of men would probably say she's a bitch for the way she's broken up (retired hockey player) Tie Domi's home and the way she dumped Peter MacKay. She is a bitch."

".....bitch is a word that I would use to describe someone like Belinda Stronach. It is a word that I use regularly."

Oh doggy! Throw that ridiculous old man a bone. You sure don't have to scratch very deeply to discover what these women and gay hating cons are all about. If you don't believe me check out this shit sandwich.

"Full of cum, full of shit.....Belinda's is a transformative life. Not yet forty years old, she has gone from rich-girl college drop-out, to celebrity cum-dumpster...."

"Stronach suffers the slings and arrows of modern life for women everywhere. She's a lot like Jesus would be, had Jesus had better tits and pubic grooming habits."

"She glories her own hard work, despite having had everything in her life handed to her on the end of an aroused penis..."

Ah yes...women as cum-dumpsters, and whores....brought to you appropriately enough by a member of the Blogging Whories.

I don't know what it says about Belinda Stronach. But it sure says everything about the Whories, and the good ol' boys of the freaky ReformCon government. This isn't just piggy political for them. It's clammy creepy piggy personal.

Speaking of creepy freaks........ I just want to say this about Christie Blatchford........


For fuck sake will somebody PLEASE zap that rabid warmongering tabloid terrier with a humongous tranquilizer dart before she goes absolutely nuts!!!!!!

Oh wait......
too late.

".....Well, the boys are back home now, minus their friends and mates killed in action or accident, and not all of the living have their limbs or their eyes, and all are changed. There are many days when they must wonder if somehow, they aren't still in the presence of some enemy even less readily identifiable than the Taliban."

















Ah... the hidden enemy....us.

You know when people start calling Canadians the enemy or traitors for opposing a war that can't be won, that's probably a good enough reason to pull our troops out of Afghanistan. Why try to put that broken and barbarous Islamic Republic of a country together, if we're going to rip Canada apart?

As for Crazy Christie she should do us all a favour and stay away from our soldiers. Before she takes being embedded to new lows. Or new heights. As in way way way up our Gung ho military's ass. We don't need propaganda. We need facts. Our soldiers may think this dingo jingo is on their side. One day they won't.

I'd hate to have them come limping out of Afghanistan after their doomed mission is finally over. Still not knowing why they lost. And mumbling crazy talk like "WE WUZ STABBED IN THE BACK...." Just like that wacko Austrian did after the First World War.

You know this guy....













But then take look at the Big Nazi Picture. Everything these foul ReformCons do is an attack on someone or something. An attack on women, an attack on gays and lesbians, an attack on poor people, an assault on the environment, a blitzkrieg on our beautiful Canadian values. And now an assault on democracy itself.

Agree with us or you're a traitor and the hidden enemy...

Look people I'm just a simple Simon. And the pieman knows my number. But it seems to me that the time has come for the progressive forces to connect the dots. Understand the real danger to our country. And put Canada's interests above cheap partisan politics.

We need to form a broad coalition to take on these ReformCons. So their 30 percent doesn't hold our 70 percent hostage.And so while some of us distract these dirty doggies. Other can finish them off.

Because temework are importint.

Hey I said I was simple! But it seems to me a simple choice.

Either we destroy these Nazi Cons who would declare war on millions of their own people.

Or they'll destroy us...

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Life Passages and my Straight Friend Donald












It was grey windy and cold down by the lake today. But it didn't bother me at all. My friend Donald was visiting me. He drove all the way from Montreal to tell me something he said he absolutely couldn't tell me on the phone. And I was so happy to see him, it almost felt like Florida.

I don't have many straight friends anymore. I kind of shed most of them in the last few years. When after I left school I couldn't connect the dots between their lives, and my life and my struggle. And I realized that they didn't even want to try. But Donald is straight. And he's my oldest and best friend.

He's from a small village in Scotland that makes my village look like a city. He was orphaned at a very young age, and raised by his much older brother and his French wife in Montreal. We share a lot of things in common, a million crazy adventures, a hatred of crazy right wingers and religious fanatics, and our love for old New Wave punk music. and roots reggae. But most of all we share a love for playing soccer.

We played together on different teams all over Montreal. When we were at McGill we spent hours just the two of us racing down the little field near the Winter Stadium, kicking or heading the ball into an empty net. If I had a dime for every time I've had a dream about him and I playing for Canada in the World Cup final, I'd be a millionaire.

But what sets Donald apart from most straight men is how he relates to gay people. He doesn't just accept or tolerate us. He treats us like he treats any of his straight friends. He's interested in our lives, and helps celebrate them like me and my friends celebrate his. Which means that I can share my feelings, joys and private sorrows with him. And he can share his with me, in a way that most straight men usually can't.

We can also lounge about on some sunny terrasse and point out goodlooking men and women to each other. And laugh about the funny and terrible things that happen to both gays and straights in love and lust. He can get also get away with being outrageously cheeky. Like when he came up to me at a soccer practice, while I was chatting with some very straight guy on the sidelines and said loudly: "Simon are you playing today or are you cruising?" And worse things than that. But since I know he doesn't have a homophobic bone in him, it just makes me laugh.

Because he is the way he is, and because he doesn't have any hangups about his own heterosexuality, like so many homophobes do. It also means that when we haven't seen each other for a while, and we meet in some airport or railway station. He's the one who hugs and kisses me like a crazy man or a Quebecois. And I'm the one who turns red. And worries what people might think. Coz he couldn't care less.

And as if that wasn't enough, Donald doesn't just support our struggle for equality, he marches with us. And he carries some of the best and gayest signs! The last time I was at a Pride Day with him he was carrying a sign that said " Gay Marriage is just another battle....the War on Bigotry continues." How could you not love a guy like that?

So I was really dying to know what was so important that he had to drive all the way to Toronto to tell me. Instead of just telling me on the phone. But he saved it for the end. Until he was just about to leave. And we took one last walk down this lonely boardwalk.












Then he told me. That him and beautiful sweet girlfriend are getting married in December, and that they are expecting a baby in the Spring. And that he wants me to be his best man. And that she wants me, because I introduced them to each other, to be the Godfather!!!

And that if the kid was a boy, and he turned out to be gay, Donald said that he hoped he would be just like me. A really great soccer player. And a shit disturber too!!

I was stunned. I admit I had tears in my eyes. But I quickly recovered. And gave him such a big hug, and so many kisses on both cheeks, that we almost fell into the lake. This time it was his turn to turn red. Finally!!

I must admit that I was just a little sad too. It's one of those events in life, one of those life passages, that makes you realize that time moves on. And some things can never be the same again. But I'm sure going to enjoy the sight of a little tyke chasing a ball up and down a field with his or her dad. Just like I did.That should be really special. That's what friends and family values are really all about.

I wish there were more straight men like Donald. Free from unhealthy hangups, free from the poison of hatemongering religion. Unafraid to be called gay by our enemies for standing up for us. Free from hate. And willing to fight with us to defeat that hate wherever it rears its ugly head. Imagine what a better, safer and more fun world that would be for all of us. But the sad truth is there aren't enough people like Donald. So the struggle continues.

But at least the crazy wingnuts now have one more good reason to fear me.

From now on they don't have to call me Mr Faggot anymore.

They better call me Mr Godfather or else.....


P.S. If you like my new little flag you can get it and other versions from Bruce at Canuck Attitude

Saturday, October 28, 2006

The Bigot Bishop and the War on Homosexuality













I was rushing to an appointment today, pushing my way through a hideous herd of broker types on their lunch, when a little old woman darted out from behind a pillar. And shoved this Jesus freak pamphlet into my hand. Normally I would have just shaken my head and handed it back. But she was so old. And I was so stunned, and so late. That I just stuffed it into my coat pocket, and rushed on.

Only to spend the rest of the afternoon wondering what was in that pamphlet. And whether it was as homophobic as the one in this postal story.

In a lengthy text with headings such as "Homosexuality is Unhealthy" and "The High Cost of Low Living" the booklet describes the host of ills it says are brought about by homosexuals and homosexual behaviour. In the tract, homosexuals are blamed for the AIDS epidemic, thousands of orphans in developing nations, increases in sex crimes such as rape and contributing to the death of nations.


Because that one made me really mad.... I wish I could be as cool about it as this brilliant gay brother. Who can make me laugh even when I'm angry.

Or as thoughtful and restrained as my blogging mentor. Who believes that hate only leads to more hate. And reminded me to thank those postal workers for being so damm decent and so Canadian. Beacons of hope in a very dark country.That's slowly losing its soul.

If Sebastien was here, instead of so faraway, I'm sure he'd say something like Simon my flaming Scottish comet why burn yourself out for them. Let's just turn the pamphlets into paper planes. And the first one to land one on the bonfire wins. But I just can't be that nice. It sometimes makes me feel really alone. But I can't help it. I hate those wingnut homophobes so fucking much.!!!!

And the reason I do is because the hateful tracts they put out have nothing to do with the argument over gay marriage. They don't even have anything to do with the bloodthirsty Bible.

I don't recall that talking Burning Bush saying anything about AIDS, orphans, rape and the death of nations.

It's just pure evil hate aimed at who we are and who we love. An attack on our very humanity. It insults me and my friends. Those who are alive and those who are dead. It incites violence against us. If it had been Jews, or Muslims, or blacks there would have been a hell of a fuss.

So how come gay people are just supposed to shrug it off in the name of religious tolerance? Or accept it as just another unfortunate fact of life. The price of being second class faggots in a world full of freaky straight bigots.

Well not in my world. And not in my life. I'll never accept to live like that. And all I can say is if one of those homophobic pamphlets materialized in my mailbox, I'd find out who sent it. I'd travel anywhere to meet them. I'd roll the little hate pamphlets into sturdy tubes. And shove them up their asses. Or down their throats. Since they're always bitching about that.

Which means I'm going to be really busy...because the War on Homosexuality in Canada has begun. First there was that Klan Klown party in Ottawa. Then came that filthy pamphlet. Now the most monstrous porker homophobe of them all. The Bigot Bishop Fred Henry, is on the warpath. Again.

"Asked why he is not afraid to say such things in Canada where many voices have been cowed into silence, Bishop Henry replied, "Well I guess it's because I read the last chapter of the book and we win in the end." He added, "I mean if you really believe that the Spirit of God is with you, what have you got to fear?"

Oh I don't know. Maybe of being accused of mixing politics and religion. Like when he demanded that gay people should be thrown in jail.

"Since homosexuality, adultery, prostitution and pornography undermine the foundations of the family, the basis of society, then the State must use its coercive power to proscribe or curtail them in the interests of the common good."

How could I not fight back against a porker homophobe like that one? How could I not want to see him squeal? Or pay taxes.

Although......sometimes I think it would probably be more effective to just encourage him to blather on. And let him hang himself. And the theocon Harper government. The thing about crazy religion is that the closer you look at it the sicker it becomes.

Which brings me back to the pamphlet that I ended up with today. As soon as I got home I went through it carefully to see if there were any homophobic passages in it. In the end I didn't find any. Just a lot of other weird stuff:

"And if your hand or foot causes you to sin cut it off and cast it from you. It is better for you to enter into life lame or maimed, rather than have two hands or two feet, to be cast into the everlasting fire."

Mathew 18:8

Which made me wonder. Does that crazy shit also apply to the filthy tongues of bigot bishops?

And gave me an idea......... Since religion is the root of all evil. And since the little pamphlet was too small to turn into a paper plane. There wasn't much I could do with it but throw it into the everlasting fire. So I did....



















It burned beautifully.

The way I see it the day crazy religion goes up in smoke..

Will be the day the planet stops burning. And the day my anger finally stops burning as well.

That day can't come soon enough for me.

In the meantime, if they want a war they've got one...

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Peter MacKay and his Dumbo Soap Opera

















Wow! What a gorilla of a thriller! I'm not usually into soap operas. But I don't want to miss a single episode of Dumbo Street. This King Kong drama of love gone horribly wrong, just keeps getting better and better!

And it's not just the bad acting that's so great. It's the plot!! First Peter and Belinda hit it off. Then she dumps him.Then he sulks a lot. Then he calls her a dog. Then he runs from reporters and blames it on the Liberals. Now he's lying to Parliament. Just like he lied about his dog!

“I made no such gesture. I made no derogatory or discriminatory remarks toward any member of the House.”

It doesn't get better than that! I can't wait for the next episode. I must say it doesn't look good for Dumbo. Not when they've got about a dozen eye witnesses willing to swear out affidavits. And an incriminating tape.

But he was a crown prosecutor. He should know that. How much more evidence do you need to convict someone? I mean how many criminals did Dumbo let off because he thought he didn't have enough proof? Talk about a dangerous lout.

Surely he must know that if you've got a filthy tongue, and you don't cop a plea in time, you can end up having to muzzle yourself the hard way...




Hey I wish.... But of course it's not really funny. And neither is Dumbo Street. And I don't care about the plot either. I just want this soap opera to go on and on and on. Until the next election.


Stephen Harper's neo/theocon government has launched the most disgraceful attack on the rights of Canadian women in the history of this country. They have slaughtered the Status of Women and the Court Challenge programs. Even though they're floating in money.

It's all about their reactionary daddy knows best ideology. The Theocons want women back in the home barefoot and pregnant. The neocons want them docile and dumb. The Blogging Whories are full of ugly posts comparing women to dogs. Read the comments. Are these people sicko losers or what?


But their support among women voters is already plummeting. And Peter Mackay's little doggy act will just drive another nail into their coffin.

By constantly reminding Canadians of the loutish attitudes responsible for the ReformCon War on Women. In the age of television and celebrity gossip, there's nothing like a little soap opera to put a human face on sexism and bigotry.

So the boys and I have decided to do our part to keep the soap opera in the news. And boost its tv ratings. By greeting MacKay wherever he goes wearing doggy masks and barking.













Oh wait ....sorry....that one's for Dumbo. So he can't threaten female MPs in the House of Commons. Just glower at them but not bite.
This one's more our style...















So we can join our beautiful sisters on the frontline. And of course, bark and howl really loudly!!

Or maybe we can come up with a Kennel Contest to find MacKay a new home. Although I'm afraid the way things are going. And the way they can analyze tapes these days...... Dumbo Dog may soon have to be sent to the pound. Until he's eventually put down. Along with his filthy sexist and homophobic government.

Won't that be a tailwagging day! It can't come soon enough. But right now I've got to run. Here comes MacKay. Masks on boys! Brush your teeth again Dumbo And thanks for helping to bring down the "New" Conservative Party just like you stuck a knife in the back of the old one...


Good work!

Woof. Woof. Woof.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Crazy Homophobes and Hero Doggies











Ok ok so I have to admit that my brilliant plan to stop the homophobe wingnuts from storming Parliament was a complete failure. Although so was their itsy bitsy teeny weeny pathetic nutbar rally. Just look at them. If they prayed for my destruction any harder than that they'd shit themselves.

Imagine. Driving all the way from Alabama to Ottawa.











Only to make jackasses out of themselves.

“Nature creates children, a marriage between a man and a woman. If you allow same-sex marriage, you take away this right,”

And make our side look good.

“To reopen the debate and deny the right to equal marriage would be a violation of the religious freedom of faith communities, such as ours, who wish to recognize same-sex marriage as part of their religious practice,”

So it all ended well. Chalk up another victory in our long war against these crazies.

Although I was disappointed. With all those preachy homophobes in town...where were all the prostitutes?

Then of course it hit me....probably in Afghanistan...

Probably sent there by DND to bolster the spirits and the defences of our beleaguered troops. What a brilliant move! Never mind those Leopard tanks. Don't bother signing up all those cooks.
With the Sparks Street Hooker's Brigade behind us we can probably blow the Taliban all the way to Pakistan.

Anyway ....all the boys in the bunker think it's a great idea....

What we can't agree on though is whether this dog....












Deserves a statue.

Kerouac and I say he does. I mean what the fuck happened on that boat? Who was that knifeman anyway? But the others agree with this gloomy guy.

"......the emphasis given to animals' suffering in war highlights a failure to acknowledge the suffering of human beings. The tableau in Park Lane carries the justifying motto: "They had no choice." Nor did the civilians killed in Iraq, the millions of women raped over the centuries by soldiers, or the colonial subjects who died of famine or disease in British concentration camps. You would scour this country in vain for a monument to any of them."

Hmmm...heavy....good point...zzzzzz.....but nah...no doggie... Didn't Great Leader say that in the Glorious War on Terror everyone counts?


And let's not kid ourselves. The way the war in Afghanistan is going. After the cooks and the hookers and the student athletes. the next ones to go will be our beautiful Canadian dogs.(sob) (sob)

So enjoy them while you can...



Stephen Harper's Tyrant Identity Crisis
















I know Stephen Harper so well.... I've studied him like a bug for years. I've warned about his authoritarian tendencies. And his fatal character flaw. But even after all of that I still can't quite place him myself. I can't decide whether he's Big Brother, the enigmatic, sinister tyrant from Orwell's "1984."

Or whether he's more like Napoleon...











The brutish porker tyrant from Orwell's "Animal Farm."

All tyrants look the same to me. I get them all mixed up.

But then so does Great Leader . He's got a tyrant identity crisis.

Take today for example.

When he stood up in the House of Commons to defend Peter Mackay, he was obviously acting like Napoleon. Because only a pig would do that.

But then came the story about how Harper's little pet Josee Verner had managed to get into Afghanistan for a pathetic little photo-op.

While those poor Senators were held up by the Cons, and then mugged....

"The Senate's security and defence committee wanted to go to Afghanistan to investigate the reconstruction spending, but they couldn't get in and had to spend six days in a Dubai hotel. The trip expenses the committee racked up while waiting for permission have been held up for scrutiny for being spent on the public dime."

Now that's Big Brother! Especially the part about publicly humiliating them by investigating their expenses.

Then there was the little nugget that Garth Turner let slip. About how Great Leader has been politicizing Parliamentary committees and turning them into the kind of message control sessions you would expect to encounter in a place like North Korea.

"This government has actually had a PMO senior staffer in national caucus recently instructing MPs on how to politicize the committees and turn them into instruments of government policy. Tory MPs are instructed to meet before committee meetings to plan strategy to help ministers, and to be assigned questions to ask witnesses. Attendance at these meetings is mandatory, and recorded..."



That's Big Brother too. Although when you think of the ReformCon caucus sucking it all up like flunkies..... maybe it's also a little Animal Farm.....















And then there's this story.
Which is both Big Brother and Napoleon at the same time.

Porky because it shows what a cheap and savage political game Harper is playing.

And Big Brother because although Sandra "Squealer" Buckler claimed that:

".....There are some very serious issues before Parliament, and the citizens of London North Centre and Repentigny deserve to have a voice in those debates...."

They really don't have a voice. The PMO calls the shots.

"Haskett knew about the snap nomination meeting for a Conservative candidate for London-North-Centre even before local party officials and with what a political scientist at Huron University College suspects is encouragement orchestrated by Prime Minister Stephen Harper..."

"He was in charge and he was telling me what to do," Stirling said of his noon-hour chat with Joseph Dow, director of Ontario operations for the Conservative Party of Canada..."

So there you have it. Exposed at last. Now you know what happened to Garth. Forget about the grassroots. Forget about democracy. Harper wants a homophobic wingnut to have the nomination. And What Great Leader wants Great Leader gets.

This ReformCon Party is just Stephen Harper all the time. He's a deeply disturbed control freak. He's a secret religious fanatic. And the most dangerous political leader in Canadian history. If he's acting like a tyrant now, can you imagine what he would be like if he ever got a majority? We'd be forced to call him Big Napoleon!!!

But then I don't really care whether Harper is Napoleon or Big Brother. It's really Harpo's problem not mine. I know that all tyrants always end up getting toppled. No matter what they look or sound like. They always bite the dust. Just like Great Leader will.

The ReformCons can go on and on about how War is Peace. How hating gays is loving them. How Ignorance is Strength. How freedom is slavery. And oinkety oink oink oink....

But Canadians know a tyrant when they see one. And you can count on one thing.

This pig will soon be boinked....

Monday, October 23, 2006

Dick Cheney's Halloween Party

Ugh what a miserable wet and cold weekend. I couldn't go biking, I couldn't go flying, I couldn't go to the beach. I couldn't do anything. Except watch the Grand Prix, download music, and work on my costume for the Bunker's Halloween Blowout.

I'm going to be a court jester this year. With a jaunty cardboard crown, a scottish kilt, bandages for leggings, and of course very gay pointy cloth booties with lots and lots of bells. Ring a ding ding ! So I can dance around and drive everyone crazy. Before I get drunk and disorderly and take everything off. Whoopee!!! Doesn't our party sound like it's going to be so much fun???!!!!!!

It's Dick Cheney's Halloween Party I'm worried about...















Something tells me it's going to be a really scary one...
The Chimp Cheney regime is on the ropes. With only about two weeks before the midterm elections they are facing disaster.

Will they just let it happen? Will they just give up? And watch their Neocon Reich go down the drain. Glug.Glug. Glug. Or will they try something desperate? These days it pays to believe that paranoia is a higher state of consciousness. So I wouldn't rule anything out.

Take all that internet chatter about how a large U.S. naval taskforce is heading for the Straits of Hormuz. Due to be in position by Halloween. To preempt any possible action by Iran. Attack their nuclear program. Or provide Israel with cover, while the Israelis do the job. And all timed to happen.....just about one week before the mid term elections...

It does sound a bit farfetched. But if you want to know how desperate the Republicans are, all you've got to do is watch their latest ad.




People who can produce a little horror show like that are capable of anything. But I don't think it's going to work. For one thing I don't think it's too smart to remind people about the real terrorists you couldn't catch. Because you were too busy creating new ones in Iraq. And also because the Bushies have tried this approach before. And how many times can you cry wolf?




Once it might have scared people. Now it makes them laugh. So I don't think most Americans will be fooled or scared again by these neocon predators. I think they've learned a hard lesson. It's really tough to lose a war without even knowing who you were really fighting. Or why.

Which makes me wonder what do WE know about who we are really fighting in Afghanistan?

I thought I knew quite a bit until I read this New York Times story. And it really blew my mind. It's a long article. But it's really well worth reading. I doubt you'll feel the same way about Afghanistan afterwards. I know I didn't.

What a nightmarish mix of tribalism, corruption, medieval religious practices, sinister Pakistani meddling, and just plain barbarism. Forget about extending missions. Or turning sailors into soldiers.

The only ones who can save us from this mess now are Chuck Guite and the Liberal Sponsorship Gang!!!!

We should spring them from prison, just like the Dirty Dozen. And send them to Afghanistan on a mission to identify all the politicians, tribal leaders, war lords and thugs who need to be bribed.

And bribe them.

To keep the peace. And not kill us.

Until we can get the fuck out .

In the meantime, just in case Dick Cheney's Halloween Party turns into a real horror show. I'm thinking of swapping my court jester costume. For something a little bit scarier.




















But a lot more practical...

So if there are any Halloween wolves out there waiting to jump us. I'll be ready for them!!

The only thing I can't figure out. Ring a ding ding!

Is where to put all those bells....

Saturday, October 21, 2006

King Kong, Belinda and the War on Women

















I wasn't planning to blog tonight. Certainly not about this gorilla. And his pathetic King Kong story of love or lust gone horribly wrong. But something about the way Peter Mackay was acting today really pissed me off.

I didn't like the way he brushed past reporters telling them to "ask the Liberals." As if it was some kind of conspiracy. Instead of his fucking fault. I didn't like the stories about how he's been giving Belinda the evil eye. And trying to creep her out. I didn't like the way he didn't apologize to her as he should have. And of course, I hated the way he lied.

"They can check the record of Hansard. It's not there. It's not there. I said nothing about a dog."

I mean who's he kidding? Wasn't he a crown prosecutor for years? Doesn't he know that when they've got you on tape.

And they've got about ten eyewitnesses willing to testify against you. It's time to cop a plea. And admit the game is up....

But then this dumbo gorilla selfstyled fratboy stud has quite a record in that regard. Not only was he responsible for sticking the knife into the back of the old Conservative party. After promising he wouldn't. Not only has he trashtalked female politicians before. He's also the one who lied about his dog.









Tried to make us feel sorry for him after Belinda dumped him, by claiming his dog was still loyal. When it didn't even belong to him!!!!!


Look I'm willing to forgive a lot of things. And even neocons are human, albeit very primitive ones. But lying about your dog is simply unforgivable. It's either your pooch or your buddy or it isn't. Who could ever trust a human like that?

Stephen Harper should force this potato patch dumbo to apologize for lying about Belinda AND the dog. And if he doesn't, he should fire him. But of course he won't. Because Great Leader has just unleashed the most savage assault on women's rights in the history of Canada. An absolute Nazi blitzkrieg on the Status of Women, the Court Challenges Program, and all kinds of other programs aimed at helping women and minorities assume their rightful place in this country.

He's allowed wingnut homophobes and theocons like these freaks of nature, to dictate ReformCon policy. And thrown them one bloody bone after the other. If you want to know what these neocons think of women you just have to read their blogs.

"Peter MacKay should be ashamed: dogs deserve better .....MacKay should apologize . . to his dog....."

People who call women dogs shouldn't be anywhere near a Canadian government.

But you know what? At this rate they won't be the government for long. Their crazy positions on the environment, the war in Afghanistan, law and order, and women's rights are killing them in Quebec and Ontario. The Peter Mackay incident will only make the damage worse. Just like the Garth Turner one will. They're already stumbling around like punchdrunk palookas. Bleeding from every orifice. The war and the same sex marriage Festival of Hate should all but finish them off.

Everything is turning to shit for Canada's New Nazi Government. Just like their precious war in Iraq. In fact, while looking for a video today to illustrate why the Americans lost that war, I came across the following video. Which I think can also serve as a metaphor for the fate of our toilet government.





OK so it's a dum video.....and I would probably shoot anyone who did that to me.... But think of it this way. It's one way to explain the situation to these fratboy cons. They've been caught stinking out the joint. They've been sitting on the throne long enough. They've been exposed as monstrous assholes. Now all we've got to do is topple them from power as quickly and as painfully as possible.

And send them limping off into Canada's Book of Forgotten History, moaning and clutching their balls.

Now isn't that a warm thought for a chilly weekend?

Have a good one everyone!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The Day They Hanged Garth Turner














So Canada's New Nazi Government finally wacked Garth Turner.

Made the floor disappear under him so to speak. Left him hanging without a Party he had always called his own. Dismantled his computer equipment within minutes of the vote to suspend him. Moved him to the back of the House. Bludgeoned him with their blogs. It was quite a Nazi little show. Or as Paul Wells points out, one that Orwell might have written.

"There was something subtly wrong with Garth Turner. There was something that he lacked: discretion, aloofness, a sort of saving stupidity. You could not say that he was unorthodox. He believed in the principles of Ingsoc (The Conservative Party)...."

"......Yet a faint air of disreputability always clung to him. He said things that would have been better unsaid, he had read too many books, he frequented the Chestnut Tree Cafe, haunt of painters and musicians....."


Ah yes the Chestnut Tree Cafe... Oh sure. It was inevitable. Poor old Garth tried so hard to pretend he was a vibrant part of the New Old Conservative Party, when he was just pain in the ass for the New Old Reform Party. And Stephen Harper's New (Really New) Nazi Government. It wasn't a question of if Garth would get whacked. But when? What I wanted to know was why now?

Then this religious wingnut uber-homophobe surfaced like a bigot beluga on the Don Newman show and kind of explained it all.








Charles McVety who recently tried to block Turner's nomination because of his support for same-sex marriage, was so obviously overjoyed to see Garth go, I thought for a moment his fat head would explode.

Which, I think you'll agree, would have been a truly horrifying sight. Almost as bad as the end of the world that he believes is imminent. But not before, as he's always telling people, The Battle of Gog and Magog.

But what really had me agog or saying good Goggy today was when the porker homophobe told Newman he had complained to Harper about Turner's attacks on his religious fanatics. And had been very pleased by the way the government had reacted. So pleased you would have thought he had bagged Garth himself. And mounted his head over the altar of his Homophobe Church of the Watch Your Wallet.

Which kind of squares with what Garth had to say today. About the real reason he was wacked.

"The issue [was] my beliefs and policies," he said.

"Turner has been at odds with the party on a number of issues, including the Tories' position on the Kyoto accord and a possible Defence of Religions Act, which would protect public officials who refuse to perform same-sex marriages. .

So that's it. Harper has been throwing a lot of bones recently at the wingnut base of his party. He threw them another chance to kill gay marriage. He threw them the Court Challenges Program. And the Status of Women cuts. He dangled the promise of a so-called Defence of Religions Act over them like a big bloody bone. He wanted to get rid of that thorn in his side. And get political capital in return. So today he threw them Garth.

It's as simple as that........ And then it really isn't. It's more about Stephen Harper and the man he really is.


Ever since I started blogging I've tried to warn people about the man who would be Great Leader. How he believes that he owns the truth. His fights with Preston Manning. His scary rages and his dark sulks.

And what would happen if absolute power was given to a man with such a dangerous character flaw.

"The problem is that people who think like Harper can eventually come to think that everyone is against them. Come to believe that only they are in possession of the pure unvarnished truth. That everyone else is either too stupid, or too corrupt, or too weak to take the ruthless measures necessary to get the job done...."

And that was back in May.... Now you see what happened even with a minority. The man has turned into a tyrant right before our eyes. Cabinet Ministers and MPs are muzzled or just used as props. Every little speech or Kiwanis function has to be approved by the PMO. No dissent is tolerated. Now that Garth is gone, Harper is in complete control. Just like he always wanted.

The good news is that while good old crazy self promoting but basically decent real Canadian Conservative Garth will be more than OK. If his website doesn't go down... Fake Canadian Conservative and yankee wannabe SoCon Harper will eventually destroy his party.

He'll take it way out of the Canadian mainstream. Cripple its chances of ever getting a majority. As he already has.

Until it splits once more into the old Conservative Party and the Old Reform Party. And the right-wing will be marginalized for a generation. As I told a Conservative blogger today. You thought you were getting a Saviour. But what you got was a Terminator. Those Blogging Whories may be too dum and fanatically loyal to Great Leader to understand that. But one day they will...

As for the rest of us, if we don't understand by now what Steven Harper is all about. And what's happening to our country.

Orwell's Big Brother nightmare.

Will soon be our own....

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Superhumans, Ugly Goblins and Bitch Bishops
















Of all the disturbing stories in the news today, I found the one about how humans could one day split into a genetic upper class and a lower class the most shocking.

"The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative and a far cry from the "underclass" humans who would have evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures.

And the most frightening.... Oh not because of this :

".....men will exhibit symmetrical facial features, look athletic, and have squarer jaws, deeper voices and BIGGER PENISES...."

I don't want to appear immodest but .....ahem....I think I'm ahead of my time in that regard... Just like I think that women are not going to object to having

".....smooth, hairless skin, large clear eyes, pert breasts, glossy hair, and even features."

Never mind those perty breasts. Just think how much time they'll save not having to shave their legs.

No the reason I find it horribly spooky is because it appears that the dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures are already here.

Can you believe it? All those Catholic priests meeting in..... Cornwall? You know the place where they had that big sex scandal. Talk about rubbing or pushing it in. You think they could have had the decency to hold this Klown Klan Conference in Mexico.

Still I understand the authorities have changed the town's name to Cornhole for the duration of the Konference to warn people away. The children have all been ordered off the streets after dark. And the priests are staggering about with medieval Opus Dei chastity devices clamped to their allegedly shrivelled up penises.

So the kids should be safe until all the victims are counted. And the Nazi Pope is arrested for trying to cover it up.

Now if only we could screw a few clamps on their theocratic tongues....

"....Canada's Catholic church is positioning itself to take a much more active role in the country's politics....."

"Our allies in this are fundamentalist Christians and Muslims," Weisgerber said. "We really need in Canada to support families."

Wow! Kawabunga! Heil Mary! Isn't that exciting. Not only is the Catholic Church prepared to sacrifice its tax breaks. For the sake of a little gay blood. But it looks as if these bitch bishops are planning to sic these medieval hordes on us as well....










Now look I've got nothing against fancy dress costumes....

But that's SCAAAAARY !....Not just because I really hate the idea of being thrown off tall buildings.(I hate flying without a plane and hard landings) Or being stoned to death. Or having assorted limbs chopped off. Or my large dick sawn off with a chainsaw.

But because you never know how many homophobes....... or penguins are hiding under there.










Still that does give me an idea....

Mummy......Mummy....Sebastien....Sebastien.......please.......please..... PLEASE ?????!!!!!

Can I can wear MY mask too?















Oh goody goody!

The way I see it......If these crazy hatemongering theocon goblins want to give us a really scary Halloween.

Why don't we give them one too?

Boo...


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Gay Love and the Schoolboy Killer

It was the biggest story in Britain today. The story of the bullied teenager who savagely murdered a disabled boy.




Nothing can excuse what Michael Hamer did. He was clearly a very disturbed 14-year-old. But because he was so young and disturbed, I found the 12-year sentence far too harsh.

The boy he killed might have been a Little Angel as the tabloids were calling him today. And his death was a horrible tragedy. But his killer was a victim as well.

"......he was bullied at primary and secondary school, suffering verbal abuse, violence, extortion and social exclusion and had been threatened with the words: "You're a dead man walking," after he told the school of the bullying.

.....Mr Steer said Michael had begun to eat less and "started to stab the wall" at his home, and had difficulty sleeping...

.... Michael had made a sexual advance to Joe "who responded by referring to him as gay and he threatened to tell others about what he had tried to do. "Tragically, he responded in the way he did. At the time of the act of violence, he says he could see the faces of the bullies in Joe..."



Joe wasn't one of the bullies. But if he had told the others that Michael was gay. He would have hurt him a lot. Imagine what the real bullies would have done to him then. That's what happens when you make gay another word for frightening and bad.

I also can't help but wonder if a 14-year-old straight boy had come on to an 11-year-old girl...would they have called it a clumsy pass instead of a "sexual advance?" He might have been hauled into the principal's office. But I doubt he would have had to worry about being humiliated or beaten up.

Or be driven into a killing frenzy in a desperate attempt to keep his secret from being revealed. As if he was hiding something horrible. Instead of just being who he was. As if he was frightening instead of just frightened.

But that's what can happen in a society poisoned by anti-gay hate. That's what can happen when you don't acknowledge gay love. Or treat it as something ugly. Or think it's just about sex, as so many heterosexuals do. When it's much much more than that. Normal and natural. And just as good and beautiful as their love.

You'd think as humans we could all agree on that. So we could concentrate on making schools safer for all children. But thanks to homophobic jackasses like Ted Morton, we can't.




"The bill also includes specific clauses that would force teachers to send out “parental warnings” before discussing gay issues, and allow civil marriage commissioners to deny their public services to gays..."

We have to spend our time trying to prevent these Burro Bigot Confederate Dunces from stigmatizing gay kids even more than they already are.

When we should be helping these vulnerable children to spread their wings and come out. As this gay teenager in the UK explains, in this humble but moving 3-minute video. That can still be so hard....


I guess the message is parents teach your children that bullying is bad. Make sure your child isn't suffering in silence. Keep your eyes open for a gay child trying to spread his or her wings. Help them to fly free and unafraid. Love them for who they are.

And don't hesitate to ask for help.

Maybe nothing would have stopped Michael Hamer from murdering little Joe Geeling. But as long as we don't come to terms with the fact that bigotry and bullying can kill. In many different ways.

There will be a lot of children in our schools. Suffering in silence. Too afraid to be themselves. Or ask for help.

Just waiting to explode....

Sunday, October 15, 2006

My Head, My Heart, and the Afghanistan Abattoir















Another bloody weekend in Afghanistan. Two more dead Canadian soldiers. The war goes on and on. And so does the battle between my head and my heart. Just as it did when I watched Trooper Mark Andrew Wilson come home alone the other night.

It was raining hard when he arrived in Trenton. It was windy too as they carried his body from the plane to the hearse. It was quite the scene. The coffin bearers leaning into the wind. The family standing there so sad in the rain.



"....I know we're doing a good job, but it's so horrible, we don't know who our enemy is...'"

Now he'll never know.... and neither will his family ever know who killed their son, husband and dad. They invited the media out to Trenton. But none of the main tv news channels covered the story.

Serve him right for coming home in primetime.

Maybe some Canadians just want to tune this horror show out. But I can't. Although I still can't make up my mind about this bloody war. Like so many other Canadians I'm all over the fucking map. But this scribe kind of sums up my position:

"......are Canadian soldiers dying needlessly to support American imperialism? Or are we fighting the good fight? If Canadian soldiers are fighting a worthwhile fight, then they are prepared to die for that fight, but if it is not, we should bring them home..."

Except that my head also tells me that unless we get a lot more troops and a lot more development money we can't even hope to succeed. We're not going to get either. Our NATO allies are useless. We're not getting the real story. The war is turning into a human abattoir.

"The scene was like a human abattoir. We fought off the Taliban but were too late to save the French guys. All of us were shaking when we were flown back to base. One of the Afghan survivors said the French had been tied up, then gutted alive by the Taliban. It was one of the most shocking things I had ever heard."

And it's not just the Taliban who don't want us there.

"When we arrived in Sangin, the locals began throwing rocks and anything they could at us. This was not a friendly place. We pushed into the district centre and, during the last few hundred metres, we began receiving mortar fire."

So we should just get the hell out as soon as we can. Fighting a war you know you can't win might be heroic in a crazy way. As crazy as fighting a war in a field of opium poppies. Or a marijuana forest. But it's also criminally dum.

Then I think of the Afghan women, and the gays, and the poor little children who need schools and clinics, and the soldiers like Trooper Wilson, private Williamson and sgt. Tedford, and all the others who gave their lives thinking they were making a difference. Or at least hoping they were. And I can't trust my heart. One day I'm against the war. And the next day I'm not.

Which is why I guess I found the following beer ad so interesting.......Even though it's American. Just change the uniforms and pretend they're Canadians. And then ask yourself whether you would react any differently if you knew whether the soldiers are coming or going...


The ad never makes it clear. Are they coming home or shipping out? You see in it what you want to see.

All I know is that whatever happens, I'll always be proud of our troops. But the day my head and my heart will finally be at peace with each other. The day I'll really applaud and cheer and whoop it up and go crazy with happiness. Is the day the last Canadian soldier leaves that bloody land.

Walks off the plane instead of coming home in a box. Like Trooper Wilson did.

And thanks to Stephen Harper's reckless decision to sign us up for two more years of this hell. Just to please the criminal Bush regime.

So many other Canadians will soon die too. Or be horribly injured or mutilated or blinded for life.

For what I wonder. For what?

Saturday, October 14, 2006

The Doggy, the Baird, and the Bees
















Well blow me down. It looks as if this guy is off the hook after his scandalous performance the other day. When he ran away from me in a park. Made a beeline for my hideous churchy neighbour's pampered male poodle. Mounted it from the front. And started humping its head.

Talk about embarrassing...I could hardly make a joke about where my doggy might have picked up that little trick. Although from the homophobe look on her piggy face I'm sure she had her own idea...... Nor could I really tell her that he's always trying to fuck all kinds of other dogs no matter what sex, how old or how young. From the side, from the back, as well as the front. How he loves it when they're on a leash so they can't run away. Or how the other day he ran up to a tiny puppy, positioned his long legs over it, and started humping the air. I mean how do you explain that one?

So all I could do, while Church Lady looked on pale and grimacing with disgust, was collar my canine Casanova, stammer "sorry" and stumble off. Oh boy did Kerouac pay for that little humiliation. I cut his treat rations in half. And forced him to sleep in his bed for a change, instead of mine. But now I see it's all been a terrible mistake.

It turns out poor old Big Boy was just doing what comes naturally.












Like these playful male giraffes...

"We may have opinions on a lot of things, but one thing is clear -- homosexuality is found throughout the animal kingdom, it is not against nature,"

"The sexual urge is strong in all animals. ... It's a part of life, it's fun to have sex,"


Hey even I knew that last part! If only those life denying shrivelled up prune homophobes did too, we'd all have so much more fun. (sigh) But as I've mentioned before we kind of blew that chance for sexual bliss, when we went with the chimps instead of the bonobos.

Still one thing puzzles me. If the birds and the bees are happily fucking away. Could this little Bairdy really be screwing his own flock?








I keep hearing these reports that John Baird is gay. Normally that wouldn't bother me. I figure that any gay person who would work for or support an anti-gay political party must be a deeply disturbed closet queen. And deserves pity as well as scorn.

But this little Bairdy has been acting like a nasty Reform Con hawk recently by slashing the Court Challenges program and crippling the fight for equality of women gays and lesbians.

And not only that. As Paul Wells points out he's such a rapacious Con predator these days that the Parliamentary Press Gallery has started calling wedge issues a "John Baird." Which rhymes with turd and is very suspicious. The worst thing about right-wing fags is how disgustingly eager they always are to please their homophobe masters.

I wonder who came up up with the idea of delaying the vote on gay marriage until just before Christmas and around the time of the Liberal Leadership Convention? Just so they can divide the new leader's Liberals right from the start. I hope it wasn't him. But from what I hear I wouldn't be surprised.

So if John Baird is really gay I really want to know. So my brothers and sisters and I can ask him a few questions. Like how does it feel to betray your own community? Or how does it feel to be called Uncle John? Our very own Uncle Tom.

Oh I realize he doesn't want to talk about that. And only Great Leader speaks for Canada's New Nazi Government these days. But if he really is gay. And we ask the little Bairdy the questions we have a right to ask him. And ask them our way. I think he'll sing like a Con Queen Canary.

Don't you?

As for my sex maniac of a dog, he's on a new regime......Lots of treats to make him too fat and slow to catch his doggy loves.

And lots of cold baths...

















Have a great weekend everyone!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Saving the Children and Ourselves










There were so many bad news stories today. The nuclear nightmare of North Korea The horror of the escalating bloodbath in Iraq. And of course the continuing horror of Stephen Harper.

With his wedge issue law and order show.

And his cheap politics.

But surely the worst story in the world has to be this one.

It's the kind of story that makes you want to give up on humanity. Not only are we torching the future of the children of this planet. We're brutalizing hundreds of millions of them. Encouraging the violence. Ignoring their suffering. What kind of savage monkeys are we?

There is so much to be horrified about. Sex slaves.Genital mutilation. Child soldiers. Child labourers. You can read more about it here.

But because of who I am, and what I went through, this part kind of jumped out at me:

More than 100 countries allow physical punishments such as beating and caning in schools, while violence also occurs in the form of fights and bullying on school playgrounds.

Much of this violence is directed against females and homosexuals, said the study.

And so did this one:

Such violence can leave serious long-term psychological scars which result in increased risky sexual behaviour, substance abuse and violence towards others in adulthood, the report says.

Tell me about it. I've never asked anyone to feel sorry for me. I don't think of myself as a victim. I think I'd rather die. But as I've tried to explain when you bully children, the suffering and the anger can go on and on, long after the bullying stops. There's a price we all pay. I know that and so do these people:




The Report also points out that if you are female or gay the amount of violence you endure in schools depends on how much your government is prepared to help you.

"Sexual and gender-based violence is facilitated by government’s failure to enact and implement laws that provide students with explicit protection from discrimination,"

And if you live in Canada these days you can't count on any help from Stephen Harper and his thug government.


The evil theocons are trying to turn the clock back on women's rights. They have fought any attempt to help bullied gay children. For those who survive the brutality they would deny them the comfort and love of getting married. They want the suffering to go on and on. That's why they're evil. That's why they've got to go. Before they turn our country into a jungle.

Until these inhuman swine are driven from power, a lot of bullied children in this country are just going to have to be very brave and stand up to the bullies by themselves. It's really too awful to ask a battered and humiliated child to do that. But you know what? Sometimes it works....




Hey it's a start....

Too bad that standing up for what's right can't make us all bigger than we are. Big enough to save our future. Big enough to save the children.....

Human enough to save us all...