The other night I made the big mistake of saying that one of the reasons the Oscars bombed, was because the big winner was a movie about a King. BORING.
And was raked over the coals by my most ferocious monarchist opponent:
My Mum.
She pointed out quite correctly that the movie is really about a human being trying to overcome a condition that bullies sometimes target to hurt and humiliate others. And that I should know.
And besides how could I say that when the blessed Queen Mumsy loved Canada soooooo much?
So now I just want to say that what I REALLY meant was how could they expect a movie about a King to be popular in America? When the teabaggers threw all that tea into the harbour in order to get rid of one.
They're running the country.
And they don't even like this American version...
But of course I do. I think it's a definite improvement.
When I heard that George Bush was in town I couldn't wait to let him know how much I love and admire him. And that while he might get a standing ovation from some Canadians. And a blow job from the Blue Lemon. If only all these wastes of skin would always stay home the city and the world would be much better.
All the nasty little chimp can expect from me and my friends is a one-finger salute. And a demand that he be ARRESTED.
Because not only is he an idiot, a torturer, a mass murderer, and a war criminal.
Stranger still are new accounts emerging from France describing how former president Jacques Chirac was utterly baffled by a 2003 telephone conversation in which Bush reportedly invoked fanatical Old Testament prophecy – including the Earth-ending battle with forces of evil, Gog and Magog – in his arguments to enlist France in the Coalition of the Willing.
"This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people's enemies before a New Age begins," Bush said to Chirac...
Chirac, in a new book by French journalist Jean-Claude Maurice, is quoted as confirming the surreal conversation, saying he was stupefied by Bush's reference to biblical prophecy and "wondered how someone could be so superficial and fanatical in their beliefs."
So know we know why all those people died. And how lucky we are to have survived him. Or have we?
Did you know the biggest Canadian "expert" on the Battle of Gog and Magog is the Christianist bloater Charles McVety? Who lectures about that gibberish all the time.
Did you know that he was Finance Minister Jimbo Flaherty's SPECIAL guest the day he brought down his first budget? And that the PMO is crawling with sinister religious nutbars who believe that the end of the world is coming. And that's a GOOD thing.
Including Stephen Harper. Yup. The Bush legacy lives on in the heart of the ReformCon government....and of course in the bitter core of the Blue Lemon. That waste of lemon peel.
How can we be sure that these Christianist Cons are thinking about the end of the recession, and not the end of the world? Defeat them, SQUEEZE them, finish them off.
I watched George Bush's farewell address tonight on my new 46-inch HD TV and boy was that a SCARY experience. The speech itself was frightening enough...so full of shite and self delusion. "You may not agree with some of the tough decisions I have made, but I hope you can agree that I was willing to make the tough decisions." I couldn't decide whether he was completely mad or just roaring drunk. But the absolutely horrifying part was the way the Chimp loomed so large it was like he was in my bedroom, the fleshy parts under his neck wiggling like a buzzard in heat, and the booger in his left nostril looking as big as a boulder. Just click on the photo and you'll see what I mean. And I wasn't the only one who noticed.
8:01 — Here he is, in the Hall of Flags or something! The 50 people who care about him are there clapping. There is some crazy woman next to Cheney, who is not smiling. 8:02 — We made the mistake of watching him on HD. Never do this. He looks… gritty. OMG he looks insaner as they zoom in. 8:03 — He congratulates the Negroids and their children for taking over America. 8:05 — “There has been much debate” about the War on Terror, but “no one can question the results.” O? 8:07 — His neck looks like a turkey gizzard on HD. This is completely terrifying. Yikes. I almost wished I had live-blogged it myself. But I did drink HEAVILY. Not just because I want to forget the last eight years. And what this ignorant, incompetent war criminal did to the world. But because with the countdown clock ticking down.
I'm starting my musical countdown down bad memory lane.
Three days to go before the foul booger chimp is buried in the stinking garbage can of history. Along with the carcass of the Republican Party.
Three days before we're rocking in the free world again. Three days before the whole world shouts PAR--TY !!!
Oh goody. The Chimp must HATE it. Those flying shoes must haunt him. It must be awful to look out at the ruins of your country, see your Presidency going down in flames, and hear the whole world LAUGHING.
Muahahahaha.
As I said before..... the monster got off lightly. But history will be brutal. Now gimme a WATERMELON !!!!!
I wouldn't trust any of the sides in this monstrous debacle. As far as I can spit. But before more dummies start chanting "we are all Georgians." Like this reckless idiot. This small democracy, far away from our shores, is an inspiration to all those who cherish our deepest ideals. As I told President Saakashvili on the day the cease-fire was declared, today we are all Georgians. We mustn't forget it. Who would risk a nuclear confrontation over a shit hole like South Ossetia.... and turn us all into roasted suckling pigs. Maybe they should consider this. You'd be hard put to recall after all the fury over Russian aggression that it was actually Georgia that began the war last Thursday with an all-out attack on South Ossetia to "restore constitutional order" - in other words, rule over an area it has never controlled since the collapse of the Soviet Union.
Might it be because Georgia is what Jim Murphy, Britain's minister for Europe, called a "small beautiful democracy". Well it's certainly small and beautiful, but both the current president, Mikheil Saakashvili, and his predecessor came to power in western-backed coups, the most recent prettified as a "Rose revolution". Saakashvili was then initially rubber-stamped into office with 96% of the vote before establishing what the International Crisis Group recently described as an "increasingly authoritarian" government, violently cracking down on opposition dissent and independent media last November. "Democratic" simply seems to mean "pro-western" in these cases. Over the past decade, Nato's relentless eastward expansion has brought the western military alliance hard up against Russia's borders and deep into former Soviet territory. American military bases have spread across eastern Europe and central Asia, as the US has helped install one anti-Russian client government after another through a series of colour-coded revolutions. Now the Bush administration is preparing to site a missile defence system in eastern Europe transparently targeted at Russia.
By any sensible reckoning, this is not a story of Russian aggression, but of US imperial expansion and ever tighter encirclement of Russia by a potentially hostile power. That a stronger Russia has now used the South Ossetian imbroglio to put a check on that expansion should hardly come as a surprise. What is harder to work out is why Saakashvili launched last week's attack and whether he was given any encouragement by his friends in Washington.
Hmmm......how DO you serve a suckling pig? With an apple in its mouth? Or a dumb-pling? Blather is blather.But ignorance will KILL us. We are all Georgians. Indeed....
As the Georgian army retreats from South Ossetia like Napoleon retreated from Moscow. Just faster. Stunned Georgians accuse their friends of betraying them. As Russian forces massed Sunday on two fronts, Georgians were heading south with whatever they could carry. When they met Western journalists, they all said the same thing: Where is the United States? When is NATO coming? “Write exactly what I say,” he said. “Over the past few years, I lived in a democratic society. I was happy. And now America and the European Union are spitting on us.” But where did they ever get the idea that they could charge in to South Ossetia guns blazing, then expect that the United States and NATO would send troops to back them up? Risk triggering a confrontation with a resurgent, resentful, belligerent nuclear power...over a place like South Ossetia. Whose only claim to fame as far as I can see is that it prints half the fake dollar bills found along the east coast of the United States. Did their friend George Bush....the guy they named a street after in their capital city....the guy they love so much they sent troops to Iraq....give them the green light? Mr Saakashvilli may also have banked on support from his closest ally, US president George W Bush, whose administration is said to have given tacit support for a Georgian assault on South Ossetia in the believe that the territory could be recaptured within 48 hours. If he did , it reminds me of how I once read that the Argentine Generals who invaded the Falklands thought that the U.S. had given them the green light. Or would look the other way as long as it was quick. And you all know what happened. If he did it could be a monumental miscalculation...the idiot Chimp's last gaffe. Because whatever happens two other things are certain. After this nobody is going to invest money expanding that pipeline bringing oil and gas to Europe. Especially if the unrest continues. And even if the Georgians don't shut it down or blow it up to teach the Europeans a lesson. So if the Europeans want more oil the pipeline is going to have to go through Russia. And two, after this, whatever John McCain says. “NATO’s decision to withhold a membership action plan for Georgia might have been viewed as a green light by Russia for its attacks on Georgia,” Mr. McCain told reporters on Monday in Erie, Pa., “and I urge the NATO allies to revisit the decision.” Showing once again why this dangerous idiot must NEVER be the President of the United States. NATO isn't going to want to touch Georgia with a 200-mile pole. Game, set, match, Putin. Idiocy is its own reward...
The amazing things you see on TV. Like the abominable chimp George Bush criticizing China's human rights record. Yes. Really. Believe it or not.
As if any government that tortures people at Guantanamo and other secret prisons. Or locks them in small crates.Has the moral right to criticize ANYONE. There are, of course, a lot of reasons for the rest of us to criticize the Chinese government's heavy handed approach to just about everything.
But with only hours to go before the games open, I'm hoping for an Olympic truce. I think it's important to remember that China has come a long way in a short time. And that the Beijing Games don't just belong to the government. They are also a dream come true for millions of ordinary Chinese people.
... Beijing's Olympics will be a success because the majority of the population want them to be, not just because the government wants to use Olympic success to gain legitimacy. Xia Fengzhi, a 67-year-old retired worker and a volunteer, told me how happy and excited he is about the Games: 'I want foreigners to see what China has achieved. We were called the "sick man of Asia". Now we are strong and rich enough to hold such a major international event. I'd hate to see a billion dreams shattered. A confident, proud China is better than a humiliated and angry one.
So I'm hoping the Chinese people's big coming out party is a big success. Hoping we can forget about the grating sound of politics for a while. Here's to the real Olympic spirit. If it still exists.
May friendship RULE...
------------------------------------------- P.S. Did I mention I love fireworks?......and the Chinese INVENTED them.
Peace, friendship, sports AND fireworks? Bonus....
I'm not a big fan of Oliver Stone's historical dramas .... ever since his movie JFK made it look like Kennedy was shot by a bunch of gay rightwingers... hidden in the grassy knoll. But I'm sure not going to miss his new movie about Chimp Bush. Now that I've seen parts of the top secret script. And I know it's a comedy. My favourite scenes: Page 10 on Bill Clinton: "My mother waddles faster than that larda - -." Page 11: "We'll move these terr'ists to Guantanemera." Cheney: "Guantanamo." Bush: "Right." Then Bush to Cheney: "Vice, when we're in meetings I want you to keep a lid on it. Keep your ego in check. Remember, I'm the president.. Page 42. Checking a map, being told it passed "Humint," whereupon the President of the United States asks, "What's 'Humint' again?" and being told "It's Human Intelligence." A scene in which, auditing an Iraqi intercept, W. asks, "Wolfowitz, got any Maalox on you? . . . and while you're at it, trim your ear hairs." And Cheney checking his heart pills. And my favourite quotes? Dubya telling General Tommy Franks to be careful: "I don't want to fire no $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the a - -." Or speaking to a group of educators: "Rarely is the question asked, 'Is our children learning?' " Which reminds me....I hope this kid got to play young Bush...
Of course as a Canadian it's easy to laugh at all this. And believe me I will. Call it therapy for having to watch this horror show for eight long years. But as for my poor American friends they're left with one horrible question. How did a guy as dumb as Dubya ever become a two-term President? I don't envy them. The nightmare isn't over. And the question is a hard one....
It would be hard to imagine a more revolting sight. The Pope in Amerika. The Chimp kissing the Rat's ring. One of them a war criminal with the blood of hundreds of thousands of innocent Iraqis dripping from his hairy paws. The other an old Nazi responsible for whipping up a murderous hatred against millions of innocent gay people. Attacking their love. Denying their humanity. Treating women like chattel.....second class beings....daddy's little girls. Unfit to even control their own bodies. While covering up the crimes his unholy perverts committed against thousands of poor children. And what is the perfumed Rat offering now? Nothing more than a prayer for the prey. When you really consider Pope Benedict's solution of prayer to a problem that has devoured the lives of an unknowable number of children - with 5,000 revealed since 2002 alone - it's hard not to see a callous indifference that refuses to acknowledge the church's complicity in such atrocities because it leads to his own doorstep... The dubious power of prayer has always had its practitioners - but few have been more cynical than this. The Rat and the Chimp may escape justice in their life times. And unfortunately there is no hell ..... just like there is no heaven. But their victims will not be forgotten. And one day these crummy criminals. Will swing from the gallows of history...
