Tuesday, July 15, 2008
When Being Gay Means You Can't Drive
I strongly suspected that my driving test instructor was a homophobe. And in retrospect it probably wasn't a brilliant idea for Sébastien to give me a good luck hug and a kiss before the test began.
The instructor's teeth were grinding so loudly I could hardly understand what he was saying. Grind, grind, left, grrrrright, grrrrrind, AAAARGH!!!! And the body language was brutal. Any further away from me and he would have been running beside the car. But maybe he was just scared out of his mind. Who can blame him?
He did pass me. And it could have been worse. I could have been in Sicily.
When 26 year-old Danilo Giuffrida told doctors he was gay at his medical examination for military service, they passed the information to the transport ministry, who told him he must repeat his driving test or have his license withdrawn due to his "sexual identity disturbance."
Giuffrida agreed to re-take his test, passed it for a second time, but the ministry renewed his license for just one year rather than the usual 10 years because of his homosexuality.
You know I'm always amazed and disgusted by the sheer number of fake reasons the wretched homophobes come up with to put us down, and try to strip us of our humanity. But this one REALLY stumps me. Where on earth did they get the idea that gay people can't drive?
Is it because we like to text our tricks as we drive so we know where we're going, or have a tendency to turn the music up loud, and operate the flashers like disco lights? Or is it because we are always rolling down the window and shouting: "Honk if you love Madonna!!!!!!!"
And causing a cacophony on the highway..... or a riot?
Or do they think that we might get so carried away by the sight of a hunky guy we might put our limp wrists on our cocks..... instead of on our stick shifts? Floor the accelerator when we cum.
And cause a massive pileup? Or even worse..... a shockingly indecent public disturbance?
Or is it NONE of the above?
Is it simply that Italy is a crapatudinous and corrupt country with a homophobic yellow streak as wide as the Vatican?
And Sicily is that Duce-bag country's stinky arm PIT?
Mama Mia. Honk if you hate homophobia.
I think I'm going with that one...