Saturday, April 21, 2007

Stephen Harper Girly Man and the Angel Whisperer

I always knew Stephen Harper was a big fat nerd. A ridiculous policy wonk who likes to think of himself as a warrior's warrior. As if you could blubber someone to death...and still look good in a gown.

Just as I thought it was hilarious that the Cons would try to portray him as a stronger leader than the thin nerd Dion. When in a nerdy contest the French squeaker could probably bitch slap him to death. Or roll him down a hill.

However, I must admit that even I had no idea that Great Fat Leader was such girly man. And that we, the taxpayers of Canada, are paying for his personal primper.

Harper has been travelling with his personal image adviser for major domestic and international events – most recently at ceremonies at Vimy Ridge in France last week. Muntean helps him perfect his look, including managing his wardrobe and general grooming.

A warm, bubbly personality, Muntean has now become a fixture in Harper's entourage and remains the only staff member he tolerates style advice from.

And not only style advice but spiritual advice as well.

Friends of Michelle Muntean, who maintains Harper's image when he travels, say she claims to commune with angels.

They say the angels relay messages from the dead, and the former TV makeup artist occasionally stuns people with the details.

I bet she does..... And that does explain why Harper is so desperate to have her move to Ottawa. So he can get his marching orders from God....or Leo Strauss.... every morning. While the primper puts his rouge on.

Although ....apparently every now and then..... she gets carried away talking to the dead and the living dead....and puts too much on.

Mr. Harper returned from the two-week Easter break with a bright red complexion that drew Question Period catcalls from opposition MPs and queries from reporters.

OMG. Is this a freak show....or a drag show...or what?

Now look I want to be fair. I realize that keeping nerds looking presentable is a high maintenance affair. We don't want to have our Prime Minister visit the Queen...with his pants hitched up to his breasts, yesterday's breakfast on his tie, a snow storm of dandruff swirling around his ears, and dribbles of spit EVERYWHERE.

But don't we have a right to know how much we're paying for Great Girly Leader's vanity...cosmetic products.,..face peels etc?

And besides..... isn't having the Angel Whisperer as his special adviser and primper going to make John Baird REALLY jealous....

You know...John Baird...the guy who takes out Harper's wife. When he isn't too busy screeching about Kyoto. Like some kind of rabid dog.

Which makes me wonder...if Robert Bourassa could have a hairdresser who was also his bodyguard and his valet, and if Baird is already Great Leader's favourite pitbull bitch and eunuch...why can't he do his makeup as well? And save us all a bundle of money.

But, of course. what this sordid affair does symbolize, is how madeup this Harper ReformCon government really is. All image and no substance. And that Great Leader is just a fraud.

The kind of fraud who can spit on our Charter of Rights one day. And masquerade as a champion of human rights. the next.

Even as he prepares to strip away the rights of gay and lesbian Canadians.

Fortunately many Canadians are starting to realize that Stephen Harper isn't who he appears to be. And that a fat girly man neocon chickenhawk who plasters makeup on every day, and who has a lint plucker with a brush and a dandruff hoover following him around the world, maybe isn't the kind of leader Canadians want to lead them into an endless war.

Or for that matter....lead them anywhere at all.....

And eventually I'm sure the Angel Whisperer will come to realize that too....if she doesn't go completely insane first. Realize that talking to Leo Strauss and Stephen Harper all the time can get really twisted, creepy and boring. And that no matter how hard you try...

You can't put lipstick on a nerd...


JJ said...

"My bra is sagging"
That's "Bro". AKA "Mansierre".

Anonymous said...

what an idiot!