Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Free Scotland, the Klan Zoo, and the End of Canada

















Wow!! Just when I thought Canada and Quebec were heading for a nasty divorce. After all that nation nonsense. And we'd be in the headlines again. Just like the Hollywood stars. It seems that Britain and Scotland are going to steal our brief moment in the spotlight. By splitting up first.

And the worst thing is they don't just want Scotland and England to separate. They want Wales and Northern Ireland to become independent too!

Our poor little two-way split wouldn't even be a player. We'd be lucky if the world even noticed...

Although can you imagine how the breakup of the U.K. would play in Quebec? I imagine the Quebecois being prudent people would wait for a couple of years to see how things worked out. And then my gut tells me they'd go for it. Just like Scotland should.

"In reality, the political cultures of the two countries have drifted so far apart, they are no longer compatible. The Scots want a Scandinavian-style social democracy with high taxes, generous welfare and big government. In Scottish politics, there are virtually no right-of-center voters left..."

The English want a U.S.-style free market with lower taxes, and a smaller state. The only reason they can't have it is because of the Scots. That is hardly healthy...."

Talk about Canada and Quebec....

Something tells me that Canada better have a contingency plan ready for an After Quebec and maybe After Alberta country. So despite our pathetic state of constitutional denial. It won't be too much of a shock.

In fact, maybe it's time we all split from Canada. The Atlantic provinces could form a country as well as Quebec and Ontario. Manitoba and Saskatchewan could band together or join Ontario. British Columbia could finally turn it's back on the rockies and face its future in the Pacific Rim. And then they'd be the First Nations. And as for the Banana Republic country of Alberta it could become a dinosaur park.
















Maybe it's just time to be really honest and acknowledge that this country is becoming like a real bad marriage. And that there's nothing holding us together anymore. Once we shared Canadian values. Now we don't.


Once I felt proud to be a Canadian. Now I'm ashamed. You see the brutal truth is like a lot of people in this country I don't want to live in a country that includes Alberta. Or live in a country that is governed by nazi theocon Albertans. Why would I? Why would anyone?

I don't want to live in a place where filthy bigot homophobes scream for my gay blood. And attack women's rights and other minority groups to feed the monsters of the religious right. Or blow the butchers of the Bush Regime. And tell the rest us what to do. That's not my kind of country. That's a Klan Zoo.

I'd rather live in a country called Quebec or Ontario, with people who share my values. Where I could be truly free and not have to look over my shoulder all the time. For the crazy wingnut quoting his murderous Hate Bible. Or mouthbreathing bigot with the baseball bat. Who would kill my lover too.

You see that makes it personal for me.....just like it is for the Scots and the Brits...Oh there may be many reasons for the separatist surge. The weight of history, devolution, and North Sea oil. But the main reason is just too much bad blood. You got a taste of it during the soccer wars. And now it's even worse.

Just like it is here....for once let's face the facts. There is just too much hate in this country and not enough shared values to keep us together anymore. Just for the sake of staying together.

The chorus of hatred and threats aimed at the Quebecois is now a deafening howl. The chorus of hatred against gays is now a bloodthirsty scream. Native people are angry and frustrated. We can't agree on anything. It's time to breakup this dysfunctional family before we start killing each other.

Why should anyone put up with that kind of aggravation? For a piece of cloth on a stick.. a set of values that are stinking in the grave... and a constitution signed by an English Queen.

Or a stinkin' corrupt Liberal Party that would discriminate against gay teens. As if they weren't discriminated and brutalized enough. Now they want to criminalize them for making love. What is it about the evil heterosexuals? How fucked up are those freaks?How much gay blood do they want.? How much lower can those stinking bigot breeders go?

But let's look at it on the bright side....... If we separated we wouldn't have to live with each other anymore. There would be no useless quarrels or hatemongering. No constitution to worry about. Everybody could just concentrate on living with the people they want to live with. And building their own societies according to their own values.

The rednecks would build Klan worship centres , gay concentration camps and extermination centres. And monuments to greed. While other countries in the Canadian Confederation would build schools, daycare centers and hospitals.

And even Alberta would be a better place. Now that you'd need a tourist visa to visit it. It would just be another exotic destination. And think how much fun the kiddies would have...












You know what happened to the dinosaurs coz they couldn't adapt. Their world ended with a bang. Our country is dying of bigotry and right-wing craziness. This isn't Canada anymore it's AlbertaCan.

Let's separate from it while we still can...

Scotland forever! Go for it Ontario! Bye Bye Alberta...

Vive le Quebec Libre!!!!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Gay Vote and the Homophobe House of Pigs










Oh goody goody! The nazi vote on gay marriage is finally going to be held.

Won't that be fun? There's nothing better than seeing your House of Parliament turned into the Homophobe House of Pigs. Or listening to all those filthy Klan Klowns putting down gay love. Or fucking and fondling my human rights. In a debate that never should have been held. Oh Kanada! I'm really going to love that.

I'm going to love it so much..... and the wave of hate it will unleash...... I've got a feeling Sebastien is going to call up and ask the boys in the bunker to tie me down. So I don't go looking for a fight. And end up getting into trouble. What a cruel blow that would be. On the Great New Great Day for Gay Marriage in Canada (the other one didn't count.) Lying flat on my back...strapped to the bed. Whoopee! Won't that be fun?

And don't you love the day these yankee suckin' ReformCons chose for the vote in the House of Pigs? December 7th....the anniversary of the Pearl Harbour attack. So while it may be a victory for us. For them it'll just be another Day of Infamy. I guess that means we get to play the japs...














Oh well...I guess that happens when you live in a world where so many straight people think they're more human than us. Or a country where so many of even our so-called friends, think we're so much less than them. And that our love doesn't count.

But maybe this Piggy Fest will serve some purpose. If it distracts Canadians. And makes this country killer story go away. As well as the filthy comments...

It is obvious that the Quebecers are different by wanting some kind of status, but not in a way that I would consider good. Kinda like that mangey coyote that needs to be put down for its own good.

These Quebec people seem to forget, that the land they want is not theirs, it belongs to Canada. How are they going to form a Nation, with out land?

You know....ever since the last referendum I've had this recurring nightmare..... That where once English Canada defined itself by being against the Americans. Now so much of its culture has been so Americanized. Sucked right out of its bleeding marrow. Now it's starting to define itself by being against Quebec. Now it's starting to eat itself.

Or maybe it's just a fatal ignorance. An inability to understand that a minority needs to feel respected more than a majority does. Surely only that can explain why even someone as decent as Ken Dryden doesn't get it either...It's a good speech. But he thinks too much like a lawyer. He still doesn't understand it's all about the heart. But then he never did...











For years he was the hero of millions of French-speaking Quebecers. The hero of the Canadien Nation. But he never bothered to learn French...Never understood that sometimes it's the small gestures that count.

Or that the French nation debate isn't about words. It's all about respect. Just like allowing gays to marry is. If English Canadians don't understand that. If they'd rather threaten and humiliate minority groups. Instead of making them feel at home. If they treat the French like they've treated us. If they make them as angry as they've made us. If Canada becomes Kanada. Then this country will really be fucked. Kaboom!

Forget the Tora Tora Tora. It might as well use the same rope the boys are going to use to try to tie me down.

And use it to hang itself...

Monday, November 27, 2006

Ted Moron, Klanberta, and the Libby Bloggers












Remember how I warned you about Alberta's exploding syphilis problem?
Well I'm sorry to report tonight that my warning came too late for the many rednecks in that backward province. Now it's spread to their small brains. Welcome to Klanberta...

Can you believe it ? The U.S.-style wingnut homophobe and traitor separatist Ted Morton could actually become the Rube King of the Bigot Province. Heil Moron!!

The crazy professor from the sinister Calgary School, who along with his buddy Stephen Harper wrote the infamous firewall letter

The yankee-born right-wingnut who would privatize Canada's medicare system. The ridulous self declared Jackass Senator-In-Waiting from the Confederacy of Klanberta. The darling of the religious extremists who has promised to introduce his Final Solution to the Gay Problem. The nazi Bill 208 ....Again.

The effects of this bill, should it become law in Alberta, would be devastating for gays and lesbians.
[Bill 208], if passed, would allow employers to fire gays and let landlords evict gay tenants with impunity because they’re “exercising a belief against same-sex marriage..."


The hero of the angry old men and the mouthbreathing white trash of rural Alberta. Who would rape our Canadian values. Wage perpetual war on us. And turn their barbarous wingnut breeding ground into this kind of place.






A place where gay people would be hounded like animals. A place where the message would go out. It's ok to fuck with the fags. It's ok to bully gay kids and beat them and drive them to suicide. You can attack them, put up religious tracts calling for them to be murdered. You can fire them, evict them, and they can't fight back. No gay person would be safe.Not even in their own homes. If I was a gay person living in Klanberta I'd buy a gun.

So with this horde of redneck wingnut nazis coming straight for us what do you think one of the last libby Lib bloggers left in Calgary is doing? Attacking Ted Moron and his nazi plans to wage war on Canada as we know it? No I'm afraid not. He's too busy spouting nonsense about Quebec. Along with a whole bunch of other Libby Bloggers.

And both those bloggers are usually great. So how depressing is that?

As if Quebec wasn't a nation. As if Pierre Trudeau's vision of Canada wasn't as dead and buried as the man himself. As if anybody gave a shit about whether Iggy is a piggy or not. When the country is burning.

As if those few harmless words weren't one of the most devastating body blows the separatists have ever received. As I've pointed out over and over again. As Chantal Hebert points out in today's Toronto Star:

"The expected adoption by the House of Commons of a Conservative motion recognizing that Quebecers make up a nation within a united Canada is likely to blunt one of the most potent weapons left in the sovereignist psychological arsenal.

Its adoption also makes the possibility of another referendum more remote, even if the Parti Québécois comes to power after the upcoming provincial election..."

How dumb can you be? No wonder English Canada is falling apart...like a wet paper bag. With friends like that who needs enemies?

As for me I figure that the only way Quebec really will separate one day is if these Alberta paleocons, drag Canada too far to the right. So it may eventually come down to a choice between the Quebec nation or the Redneck one. And you know where I stand on that... If anyone has to separate I say let it be Alberta.

And if Moron does become Rube King I plan to make my feelings public. With a new license plate...












Ok ok....so it's in the development stage...and after the Quebec part I'd have to add as long as Quebecers want to. But yours to discover ....a brand new country....can you imagine how beautiful an Alberta-free Canada would be? Sure we'd be a little poorer. But there would be no more Harper. No more ReformCon party. No more having to pretend that we're interested in Alberta Alienation Disorder (AAD) No more listening to their wretched bigoted wingnut yapping.

And of course.....above all... with King Moron at the helm no more having to take them seriously. Ever again. And who can put a price on that? That's priceless.

But if we can't convince these redneck homophobes to separate. And join the United States where they belong. I think we should at least try to isolate them. Persuade them to build that big wall they're always talking about. So we don't have to look at them in their funny cowboy hats and Klan hoods. Or smell their foul bigotry. Or watch them wacking off at the thought of all that gay blood. Or sucking off the dying Bush Regime.

Or better still....you know a firewall is supposed to keep viruses out. But once one gets in and you can't kill it, you have to quarantine it. So let's quarantine Alberta. Join forces and drive these paleocons from power. So if Ted Moron ever becomes the Rube King of Alberta. And tries to fuck with our Canadian values. We can just tell him to go fuck himself. And keep them at bay that way.

You see it's not just syphilis that is contagious.

So is bigotry and ignorance...

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Tony Blair, Our Little Farce, and the Screwing of Amerika

Wow! What a strange week. It began with Tony Blair standing in the middle of a desert in Afghanistan declaring that what happens in that miserable fucking place really matters. A lot.

"Here in this extraordinary piece of desert is where the future of world security in the early 21st Century is going to be played out."

Huh? As another British commentator wrote: What is it about deserts that drives men mad?

Although I thought the Guardian's Steve Bell captured that desert moment best....













How about the 14th Century?

It would be even funnier, of course, if we weren't in that shithole ourselves. Talking the same crazy nonsense...

Then there was our little constitutional or nation crisis. That caught everyone by surprise. Was greeted like some kind of horrible tragedy. And ended in farce. So much for that one-week wonder...

Then as if to torment us constitutionally....back came the demented figure of the Buffoon Blair. Who ended his week in Scotland going after the separatists. Say wot?

" It is a shame we still have to debate whether the UK exists or not. Personally, I think it's an old debate, like 'Does Britain want to be part of Europe?' - a debate about a fashion that has long since lost its relevance or its sense. In a modern, interdependent world, countries are moving together, not apart."

Hmmm.....sound familiar? It seems we're not the only country with an existential problem.

Then of course there was the horror of Iraq... Where U.S. soldiers stuffed themselves with Thanksgiving turkey. And Iraqi soldiers looked the other way. While monsters burned people alive.

You know when people use electric drills to torture their victims before beheading or shooting them. Or roast them like pigs. Or blow them to bloody bits. Just because of their religion.This isn't a civil war anymore. This is an apocalypse of the human soul.

If you want to see what war does to soldiers. How it coarsens them, even when they're not killing. Then watch the video in this great post.

Isn't that cruel and sad...the poor desperate people of Iraq.

But there is only so much sadness and weirdness one can take. And it is the weekend after all...When we think of other things...
















At least I do...

But if you want to have a laugh. And still remind yourself of how the bastard Bush has not only devastated Iraq. But screwed his own country.

Then watch this video as well...



So that's how straight people do it....

Have a great weekend everyone!

Friday, November 24, 2006

The Quebec Nation and the Canadian Idiots

Uh oh.......it seems that little storm over calling Quebecers a nation,has now been upgraded to a category five tempest in a teapot. Run for your lives!!! You may feel just like you felt yesterday or the day before. But I've got sad news to report tonight.... It seems that our beautiful Canada has died!!!!

" Recognizing Quebec as a “nation”, even “within Canada”, is a disaster waiting to happen....Ethnic nationalism was the cause of most of the bloody history of the last 200 years

So let us give thanks for one thing: at least the pretense is over...We are well on our way to Belgiumhood, and that suits our political class just fine..."


Oh no! Not Belgium....if there's any country more boring than Canada that's the one. Although they have gay marriage and we still sort of don't.....as well as good chocolate. And these days I could eat a lot....You know I expected the right-wingers to be up in arms. And I was right.

"What a load of crap! Sellout to appease the Franco's of Kbec....."

"Quebec is a pain in the ass and if recognizing that they are an inferior part of Canada that needs to be isolated from the rest of us ... so be it."


And I fully expect that in redneck Alberta it's even worse....


















Porky rednecks are capable of anything...

But I never expected to see so many respectable left-wing bloggers spouting so much crap. Or turn into so many Chicken Littles with so little confidence in the strength of this land. Holy flying feathers! They're squawking so loudly even the sweet Frog Lady has fallen off her lily pad.

"Why am I whining so much? Because, to put it simply, Quebec is not a nation..."


Oh really? Wot? I'm shocked. How could a froggy forget that Quebecers were a nation long before Canada was? Or not realize that in Quebec just about everyone knows that Quebec is a nation. Just like the First Nations are. And that includes new immigrants integrating into the French system and most Anglos under sixty too. Everyone my age feels that way. We're proud Anglos and Canadians but we're proud of being Quebecois and proud to be living in the homeland of the French nation in Canada. That's not scary....Frog Lady..... it's kool!!!

For fuck sake everyone!!! This resolution is purely symbolic. It merely recognizes the more than 400 years of shared history of the French people of Quebec. From conquered people, to the confident tolerant and progressive society....the last bastion of Canadian values.... they are today.

It's not a big deal. This isn't about legalistic scribblings. The word nation in English means country. In French it means community or people. It's a question of recognizing a people's pride. Instead of treating them like The Enemy.

I don't know where this anti-Quebec shit comes from. I've written about it before in this post about the abominable Jan Wong. So I'm not going to do it again......coz it makes me want to vomit.

But all I know is that when I'm in Quebec it still feels like Canada. Many French Quebecers, including many sovereignists still have deep and warm feelings about this country. And that's not about to change...

Even if you'll never see something like this...







Just be glad we share this land with them....

I think it's about time English Canadians moved on. Just like Quebecers have. And stopped acting like great big sissies...as if a few little words could bring an entire country down.

Stopped being so chicken and so crabby. Spent less time trapped in the past ......like reliving the First World War over and over again. You know the time when most Canadians considered themselves British. And the only real Canadians were the French...

Stopped looking at this country as some kind of prissy constitutional cage, and started thinking of it as more of a big and wild family. Who may share a home. But are different and have different needs and aspirations. And stopped being so damm scared of reinventing Canada into a new and exciting federation. Where everyone who lives in The Great White North can party together. And everyone stays together because they want to.

Please give younger Canadians some hope for the future. Instead of being so negative and so chicken.











Those despairing lefty Canadians should also realize that recognizing Quebecers as who they are won't help the cause of separatism. On the contrary. It will take the fucking wind out of its sails. And could do that cause enormous harm. How wrong can these ridiculous Chicken Littles be? Or stoopid. Duh???

Above all they should remember that disrespecting Quebecers pride in themselves as a people. And directing a torrent of uninformed nonsense and just plain hateful bullshit at them. Won't save this country. It will shatter it.

If they don't understand that. Then they should play this video over and over again....






Hey it looks to me like Canada is still very much alive...Yay!!! Who hasn't dreamed of driving a zamboni up and down Saskatchewan? I dare anyone out there to tell me which Canadian or Quebecois hosers wouldn't recognize themselves in that video? Isn't that something to celebrate not mourn...eh?

On the other hand letting a country be destroyed because the majority wasn't generous or sensitive enough to make its French-speaking minority feel at home. Or too tired boo hoo hoo or lazy or smallminded. Or too Americanized. To accept this big country as it is. And make it big enough for all of us.

That's not only idiotic. And cowardly. And a monstrous failure of the imagination.

That's fucking tragic as well...

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Bigot Games, and the Gay Marriage Vote













I went down to these ruins by the lake today. Where I sometimes like to go to think about things and chillout. I've been mourning my country recently. As well as that poor dead gay guy. But my blogging friend Scout said even spirit warriors need to take a walk in the woods now and then. So I did and it worked!! I watched my dog chase rabbits. I smoked a joint. And soon I felt mellower than I had in weeks.

So mellow in fact that when I returned I even found something nice to say about Alberta. You know the yankee wannabe one-party Banana Republic and wingnut breeding ground. Hard to believe isn't it? But it's true!!! I'm happy to report that from now on the rednecks in Calgary will no longer be allowed to defecate in public.

The bylaw, which takes effect immediately, makes it illegal to spit, fight, carry a sheath knife, urinate or defecate in public or put one's feet up on public property.

Wow!! Isn't that great?? Although what are all those rednecks and homeless people supposed to do? Move to Saskatchewan? .........still Alberta is just a little less stinkier today... Now all they got to do is deal with their growing hooker and syphilis problem.

But of course that's a purely Albertan affair...

What I want to know is when are these syphilitic hooker ReformCon pigs, who have hijacked our country and are destroying its values, going to stop shitting on OUR Parliament??????!!!!!!!!!















Today these nazi cons announced that they will hold their so-called free vote on gay marriage before Parliament adjourns. Well whoopee shit.... If these porkers think I trust them I don't. If they think I'm grateful I'm not.

This vote should never have been held. You don't vote on the equality rights of a minority. Not after they've been affirmed by the Supreme Court. The first time it was an outrage. This time it's an abomination.

The only reason Great Leader is holding a vote before Christmas is to divide and embarrass the Liberals right after their convention. But he'll have to appease his wingnut base who wanted the vote delayed. So you can be sure they'll get their bleeding pound of gay flesh.

Some kind of foul amendment will be introduced or promised. A promise to turn marriages into civil unions. Or introduce an Orwellian so-called Defence of Marriage Act. You can be sure the wingnut base will get the wink wink. To go ahead and bash gays. You can be sure that bigot bishops, like Calgary's Freaky Freddy, will never give up













The bitchop is one of those homophobes who spends more time talking about homosexuality.Than even gay people do. If you know what I mean...

The kind of creepy homophobe that when you bump into them you're not really sure whether they want to kill you. Or blow you. Or both. Ugh. Help!!!!

Freaky Freddy has gone on record as wanting gay people jailed. He doesn't want anything done to stop gay kids from being bullied. He thinks gay love is the worst thing on earth. Just like this rabid rabbi thinks homosexuality is worse than the holocaust.

"There is something worse than taking an innocent person and exterminating them in this world, and that is when you take a person and exterminate him in this world and in the next world..... You kill the person in this world and in the next world by bringing him into licentious sin whether its adultery, or other perversion or homosexuality, sexual sin. That is worse than killing."

Are these freaks sicko or what? Why aren't they in a lunatic asylum? It's so depressing. Except that... back in Israel. Two gay lovers found some justice. And we helped them!!!


Hmmm....Maybe there is still hope for Canada.Maybe we can still serve as a force for good and tolerance in this world. Maybe this vote will send out a better message than I thought it would. And show the world that some of our values are still alive in the rubble. Maybe this country is still as big and as beautiful as it once was. Just a little bruised..

But as for Alberta....... it's fucked.













Not only is the U.S. born wingnut homophobe and firewall separatist Ted Morton a serious candidate for President of Alberta.

Not only is he being secretly supported against a more moderate candidate by Stephen Harper and Stockwell Day.

Now the jackass Morton even has a song! And it's baaaaaaaad!!!!

It kind of reminds me of the music from the movie Deliverance..... Or the kind of song the good ol' boys of the Klan would hum. On their way to a lynching.

Oh yeah. Ted Moron is da man with da plan allrite...Just like the secret religious extremist Stephen Harper. Who has a plan for all of us...

See what I mean? As long as crazy homophobes like Jackass Moron, Freaky Freddy, and Weirdo Harpo roam the land singing their Klan songs. And playing their bigot games. And we're not safe. And gay kids are not safe. Or free to be who they are.

The battle for same-sex marriage may be drawing to a close. Or not.

But the battle against bigotry will go on...

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Santa's Parade and Harper's Klan Klown World Tour












I took my little niece and nephew to the Santa Claus parade today. They loved it of course. Some things may change. The reindeer were a little too plastic for me. But Santa is Santa. And the little tykes went berzerk. Yikes!!! I had to hold one back from making a beeline for that big white bear and presenting him with his extortion list of Christmas demands!!

I wish I could feel as happy and as hopeful as those children did this afternoon. But because I'm a gay and proud Canadian, living in Stephen Harper's Canada, I can't. I'm too sad and depressed.

Even in my worse nightmares I never imagined how much damage Harper's ReformCon thugs could do to the fabric of Canada. With only a minority government.

But the damage at home can hopefully one day be repaired. What absolutely sickens me is the damage these crazy ReformCons are doing to our image abroad. Damage that will take a generation to repair. Once I was proud to be a Canadian. Now I'm embarrassed.

Rona "Village Idiot" Ambrose's little Kyoto field trip was humiliating enough. But Great Leader's Klan Klown World Tour is even worse.









He's been going around like some kind of chickenhawk wingnut preacher, making a big fuss about human rights in other countries.
Making enemies everywhere, and making Canada look like a country of retarded rubes and aggressive little yankee stooges.. And the worst thing is he's bragging about it.

The Conservative government has introduced a gutsier, pull-no-punches style to its dealings on the international stage, Prime Minister Stephen Harper declared Sunday, suggesting the Liberals had lacked courage in the past.

“We've had very frank discussions with a wide range of leaders, including although it was not a very long discussion, a very frank discussion with President Hu of China — a distinct impression, if I may say that, that the Chinese aren't used to that from a Canadian government, but I can't speak for them,”


Wow!! Can you believe that? Posing as a toughtalking champion of human rights. While fucking with the equality rights of millions of Canadians back home.


But the worst thing is that by acting so neocon loutish and warlike dumb .... he's destroying any last chance of Canadians being able to act as true peacemakers in a world that so badly needs them. Of being able to work with both sides to help bring about an end to hostilities. Instead of just helping one side kill the other.

We've already lost so many things.... Now we've lost that proud legacy. We're not only letting the planet burn. We've thrown away one of the tools humanity had to try to stop the killing. Or rather this fat dumb pig has.











I'd laugh...Is that a beluga evening gown or a tightly stretched sausage skin? .....But it's too fucking tragic. This montrous blimp has been allowed to get away with murdering our Canadian values. And nobody has done nothing. The opposition is divided. Nobody seems to care. I must admit I sometimes feel like giving up myself. There is no passion left for anything in this country. It's all grey, boring and blah blah blah.

I feel like I don't belong. Even my friends are on my case. A gay blogger said the other day I should try anger management. As if I hadn't for eight years. So that hurt. This weekend I even thought about giving up blogging. What's the point of doing anything? If all people care about is cheap politics and making money? Nobody is listening. And the country's soul is already lost.

Maybe it's just time to return to being the other Simon I once was. On my very own desert island in my mind. Far from this dying place.
Far from anywhere....















Where I used to think about a lot of things. But never said a word...Except this time my friends would be there. Especially the one who cares about me enough to know what I'm feeling and want to say. Even when I can't. The tough but gentle French guy I love more than life itself. The one who for some mysterious reason, also loves me.So this time it would be paradise....instead of a lonely hell on earth ...

But then someone sent me a comment on my last post. Someone named Rashid. And this is what that gay brother wrote:

"This article meant a lot to me, and thanks. It shows that, maybe people really do care. Maybe the world hasn't gone mad, maybe there is still love in this world... I am a gay boy who has been fighting for his life, fighting everyday against suicide. So thanks. :)

That really touched me. Gave me a real jolt. And I remembered that all I'm really fighting for is a world where gay boys like Rashid don't have to feel lonely, afraid, sad or suicidal anymore. And can find the love every human being needs. And know that it's out there. And that it will it find them . And above all so they know that me and my gay brothers care and think about them. So they're never really alone.

Never mind the fate of Canada. That's enuff for me....so I'm not giving up. And neither is Rashid. Hear that brother? If you read this trust me....you're loved . And besides you don't want to make me mad....

You know one of the truly great things about being gay and lesbian is that we reach out to each other across the barriers of race, language, culture, and religion. We could help serve as bridges between people. Bring down some barriers. Help build a more peaceful and loving world. If only they would let us. If only they didn't want to kill us. Or ruin our lives.

In the meantime..... I'm looking forward to the next big parade. And I hope Rashid will be there. Oh not the Santa Claus parade. I wouldn't wish that experience on any gay boy. I've never seen so many screaming kids in my life!!!

No....our Victory Parade!!!

After all this depressing shit. And all that sadness. Isn't that worth fighting for?

Won't that day be grand!!

Friday, November 17, 2006

Harper's Promise and Another Dead Gay Guy












I see that the latest vote on gay marriage may be delayed again. Despite Stephen Harper's promise to hold the vote this fall, it look as if he may give in to the demands of his wingnut base.

They know they'd lose a vote if it was held today. So they want Harper to delay it until after the next election. Hoping he'll get a majority. And use it to crush our rights.

Normally I'd be really angry. How dare this sinister neocon pose as a champion of human rights? When he's fucking with the equality rights of more than a million gay and lesbian Canadians.

But tonight I'm not angry just sad....

It started two nights ago when Farm Boy got a call from his oldest and best friend Michael, who lives in one of those huge towers in the gay village. He had just arrived home from work, to find the police in his apartment. Who told him his roommate of three years had thrown himself off their 24th floor balcony.

I never met the roommate, but I sure heard about him every time Michael was here. How he was from New Brunswick. How he liked to sing loudly in his room. But mostly about what a pig he was. How his room and washroom were filthy. How he was always bringing one sleazy trick after the other back to the place. How he left condoms and even cock rings lying around. How he had twelve bottles of poppers in the fucking fridge.

Which, as Michael knew, would always shock me because I'm a bit of a prude. I'm not into that kind of gay lifestyle. As in how you live as opposed to who you are. Not because I'm morally superior or a better person or anything like that. But because I need to know and like someone more than just a bit before I can sleep with them.

And also because I guess I'm a hopeless romantic and never wanted a sexual athlete...just a boy next door. Who was a sexual athlete! But only with me.... Then I never found him. Sebastien, the sexy French boy from planet Quebec, found me in the middle of a bar fight. All covered in blood. So who the fuck am I to judge anyone?

Besides I know that a lot of gay boys from stinky homophobic small towns can go wild and crazy when they arrive in a big city like Toronto or Montreal. And try to make up for lost time. The way I see it, if that's what it takes to fill their human need for love, and make up for all that suffering, that's all that counts.

Anyway.....so much for the bullshit morality, and another example of how gay people can be their own worst enemies.....the worst part of this story came when Michael informed us that he had no intention of returning to the apartment for a while. That he just couldn't. That he was staying with a friend. And after that he was moving. That he didn't want to meet the parents who were driving all the way from New Brunswick to pick up their son's body. And that he wouldn't even clean up the guy's room. Because he said "that's their problem."

Which made it my problem. Because I expect gay men to take care of each other. Even if they're just roommates. And to have more courage and class. I just couldn't bear the thought of his poor parents coming all the way to Toronto to come face to face with that. There were angry words. Were we proud gay brothers or animals just like the homophobes say we are? To make a long story short Farm Boy and I ended up going over to Michael's apartment and doing what we could to clean it up.

Farm Boy (who is also known as Howard as in Howard Hughes) insisted we put on big yellow gloves. He scrubbed the washroom. And vomited twice. I tried to tidy up the room. It wasn't as bad as Michael made out. But the police had been through it. There were piles of clothing on the floor. Tons of CD tapes ......opera ones. Turns out that was what he used to sing in his room alone. And little bits of paper everywhere with scrawled numbers on them he would never call again.

I trashed the sex stuff, as well as some muscle clone magazines and videotapes. I straightened the dirty sheets. I found a picture of people I assumed were his parents in the closet. And a little portrait of Jesus with a big red heart.

Just like this one.











And placed them on the bedside table. It was such a weird feeling tidying up the room of a dead person I'd never met. Putting a Jesus picture up. Wearing a pair of yellow gloves. I couldn't believe I'd been forced into such a situation. If Michael had dared show his face I probably would have killed him.

Anyway....when I finished the place was half decent , and there were no signs that he had been gay. Just in case his parents didn't know. But then I felt bad about that. Why should he not be remembered for who he really was? So I took off a rainbow coloured rubber bracelet I was wearing and placed it on the bedside table. Right next to the Jesus with the big red heart. So maybe his parents will know their son was gay. And if they believe in Jesus will be able to fool themselves into thinking that their poor dead gay boy is asleep in his arms.

I didn't shed a tear until I got back to the Bunker. And Farm Boy had me strip in the doorway so he could pitch all my clothing into the washing machine. And sent me straight to the showers. And then I wept for one more Canadian gay guy who never lived to see the day the hatred stopped. It's been a brutal and morbid week. First there were those two dead boys staring out from the past. With their mannequin faces. And now this.

But the water washed my tears away. And I didn't cry for long. Because the next thing I knew Farm Boy was in the shower with me. Probably to make sure that I really scrubbed myself....the little bitch...so I had to laugh. Normally a sight like that would also move the other gay boys in the bunker to much hilarity ....and vulgarity. But tonight they were deathly quiet. Nobody said a thing.

I guess every one of them knew that had things turned out differently that dead gay guy could have been one of them. Although because Sebastien is away, and they know how much I miss him, and how I wish he was here right now, they did give me some really big hugs.

I hope that poor brother, whoever he was, found the peace that eluded him in life. As the picture of the AIDS quilt I used tonight says....no fear, no pain, no broken heart...

I hope his poor family comes to terms with who he was and how he died. I hope that at least one of the men who frolicked with him remembers him for the rest of his life.

I hope Stephen Harper does the right and decent thing. And holds that gay marriage vote when he said he would.

I hope the evil wingnut freak homophobes stop persecuting gay people and making them think that they are wicked and bad. And that their lives aren't worth anything. How much gay blood do these bastards want?


But if they don't, and I'm sure they won't..... maybe I'll get angry tomorrow. Or maybe the day after that.

Tonight I'm just so sad...

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Rona Ambrose, the Homophobe, and the Ugly Canadians

















Once upon a time, not so long ago, wearing a little maple leaf on your knapsack was something that could save your life in the uncivilized parts of the world. And in the civilized parts of the world like Europe could practically get you laid. Over and over again. Oh Canada!!

Everybody loved the little scouts from the frozen land of beavers, indians, igloos and polar bears. Who could act like toothless thugs on ice. But could also be such good peacekeepers. And so caring and different from the Americans.. For a brief shining moment, when we announced plans to legalize gay marriage and decriminalize dope, we were even cool. But alas my fellow hosers not anymore.....

And it's not just the tourists who find us boring. We've disappointed the world.

At first when we decided to ignore Kyoto, decided to hold another vote on gay marriage, turned our backs on Europe, and started blowing the Chimp Regime, my European friends were just shocked. Ooh la la ... Mein Gott!!...... Wot da fuck?

Then when the ReformCons killed the dope bill they started to pity us. Then when I explained how thirty percent of these Nazis had managed to hijack a whole big country that pity turned to scorn.

And now after Rona Ambrose's latest amateur act I'm sure they think we're just a fucking joke.

"There are some who are using the Kyoto Protocol to create divisions within our country, but we will not let that happen."

Huh? Let me get this straight. She turns up at a conference about Kyoto but says nothing about Kyoto. Except to say it's being used to divide Canadians. Then she goes on to attack the Liberals. At an international conference? In front of the whole world???

Talk about airing our dirty laundry .... Oh boy...I don't know about you....but I'm going to have honour Ambrose for that rube performance by making her the first double recipient of my Village Idiot Award!!








What a cringing embarrassment. Talk about leaving a stink trail around the world. These ReformCons are making us all look bad. It took Canada more than fifty years to build up a reputation as a progressive country and a voice for peace and sanity in the world. And these Con Klowns have shredded it in less than a year.


Now thanks to Cleopatra Ambrose, Peter "the dog" MacKay, and of course Great Leader, we're not just seen as nasty little warlike yankee stooges. We're seen as provincial rubes and really dumb ones. Move over world here come the boring and ugly Canadians!!!!

Great...... now the people in the uncivilized parts all shoot at us. And in the civilized parts we can't even get a mercy fuck. .....

But what do you expect when poor dumb Rona's Chief of Staff is Darrell Reid? The former head of Focus on the Family. And the guy really pulling the strings in the ReformCon Ministry of Environmental Denial and Disinformation

Who happens to be really chummy with this other Harper theocon adviser the homophobe porker Charles McVety.








Whose hatred of gay people is only matched by his hatred of environmentalists. Who he blames for trying to stop the planet from burning. And delaying the return of his freakin' squeaking " Messiah."

This twisted homophobe hates them so much he even blames them for the downfall of the wingnut closet queen Ted Haggard.

Evangelicals had joined forces with radical environmentalists, who are well known for being ungodly and sexually immoral. James 4:4 says “ Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”

So there it is . These creepy crawly homophobes don't just want to kill gay people. They want to kill the planet. If straight Canadians don't care about us. Maybe they'll care about that. Maybe then the left can unite, and throw these crazy theocons out of office. Before they torch our country.


In the meantime we'll take care of McVety....you see something in his deranged rant jumped out at me:

"If it can happen to a great leader such as Rev. Haggard... then it can happen to you or me...."

Hmmm.... really? Not chrystal meth and man ass surely? .....how suspicious...... I think I can work with that....I think it's time McVety was asked some hard questions about his own sexuality. And since I've been going on about the Europeans. Why don't we try to get him on this guy's show?



Nicht nicht baby!! I thought it was pretty funny. Although having the real Betty McVety would have been better.

And I would have enjoyed it more if all that laughing hadn't reminded me of all the people all over the world who are laughing at us.

And asking the question more Canadians should be asking themselves....

Whatever happened to Canada?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Dead Gay Boys and Canada's Shameful Past












Their reconstructed faces stared out at us today like two ghastly mannequins from another time. A very bad time. When gay people were routinely blackmailed and beaten up. And those who killed them often got away with murder.

I wonder who those lost boys were.... I wonder what happened to them. And why it took forty years for the police to reconstruct their faces, and try to give them a name. But most of all I wonder why now? And why the new head of the Ontario Provincial Police Julian Fantino was at the news conference this morning?

The same Julian Fantino who as Police Chief in London, Ontario was responsible for one of the worst anti-gay witchunts in Canadian history. The anti-gay terror crusade he called Project Guardian.












You don't think he's trying to link gays and criminality again, do you?

But I did have to laugh at what the OPP inspector said today to explain why two gay boys could just disappear. Instead of just admitting that back then the police were beating up gays and jailing them. So they probably didn't try hard enough.

“In 1967, people were hitch-hiking across the country quite a bit. Young people were not so tied to home. The Vietnam War was on and there were young American men coming to Canada to avoid the draft...."

....And a Canadian named Everett Klippert was sentenced to life in prison for the crime of being gay.

Too bad the two dead gay boys didn't live to see 1969. So they could have known what it was like not to be treated as criminals. Aren't we lucky that times have changed. Even if the hatred hasn't.

"Legalizing same-sex marriage would amount to societal approval of .... destructive behaviour. .....That teaching will bring death, physical death through sexually transmitted diseases, emotional and psychological death through dysfunctional relationships and worst of all spiritual death through loss of salvation."

"To be set free from the slavery to sexual deviance, which strips us of true freedom and binds us, is a goal for all to embrace..."

Yikes! That's a new one. I've never been called a slave before. Oh Massa Massa it's your niggah Simon!!! ....Uh oh....I don't think I'd make a very good one...

But you know if being free means living the twisted life denying inhumanly creepy crazy lives these wingnuts live. Then I think I'd rather be a slave to love...as long as after fucking our brains out we get to revolt in the end. And cut our massa's throats....

But still.....forty years after Canada decided that being gay wasn't a crime....gay murder victims are still being treated as predators and criminals who deserve to die. And we're still debating whether gay and lesbian Canadians should be allowed to fall in love and marry? What's wrong with this country?

Why couldn't our politicians just do the right thing? Like those in South Africa did today.






"When we attained our democracy, we sought to distinguish ourselves from an unjust painful past, by declaring that never again shall it be that any South African will be discriminated against on the basis of colour, creed, culture and sex...."

Too bad our politicians couldn't have done more to distinguish Canada from its unjust and painful past...

Instead of celebrating the equality rights of more than a million Canadians, they dragged their feet. They had the nerve to to call it a free vote. On our human rights. And now they're threatening to take those rights away. And encouraging the hatemongers to come after us. And most Canadians couldn't give a shit. What a small country we've become.

And then I thought of those two dead boys. Who never lived to know what it was like to be free in their own country. Instead of criminals. In Canada. Just forty years ago.

And their sad mannequin faces reminded of something else. Of how far we've come and how far we still have to go.

As well as reminding me of these guys.....















From criminals and lost boys and murder victims to cake toppers. God forgive me.

But the way I figure it....it's the same love...it's the same hatred.

So it's the same struggle. And because we will always remember Canada's shame. And what they did to us. And all the murdered gay people.

It's not a struggle we will ever allow ourselves to lose. For me and all my brothers and sisters who are still fighting for equality today.

And now for two lost, murdered, and forgotten boys calling out for justice from a hateful time....



Sunday, November 12, 2006

Commander Harper and the Christian Terrorists











When I first saw this picture of Stephen Harper and Michaelle Jean at the Remembrance Day ceremonies in Ottawa, I got quite a shock. What the fuck was Great Leader doing up on that podium taking the salute? Was he now the Commander-in-Chief instead of her? Just like his master Chimp Bush is in Amerika? I started to panic. Was this a coup-d'etat ? And why oh why hadn't the Canadian Resistance called and warned me to go underground?

Then I realized it was only 11 am on a Saturday morning and they hadn't yet woken up.... And Great Leader was only shooting another scene for his upcoming campaign video "Commander Harper "....soon to be known as The Fat Nerd as Warrior ad.... Or just The Fatso

What an idiot I am!! I could have slapped myself...Tubby couldn't threaten anyone. It's the kind of people he worships with we've really got to worry about. The apocalyptic and homophobic Evangelicals. Some of whom are starting to sound like Christian terrorists

Christian resistance is required, suggests the report, on several fronts where government encroaches on religious freedom such as secularism, pluralism, homosexuality, abortion and euthanasia.

".......in a modern democratic state it is much more a question of various graduated responses, which may begin with a simple and entirely lawful withdrawal of co-operation with state authorities before progressing through various forms of resistance focussed on a particular area, to ultimately deliberate defiance and even perhaps revolution."

You can read more about it here.

But it sure sounds like a threat to me. Don't these freaky wingnuts understand that those kind of Christian parties have gone out of style?

















But it does serve as a warning to us all. The Harper government is crawling with these theocons. The Minister of Public Security is this guy. How secure can I feel? How safe can any gay or lesbian Canadian feel?

And then there's the redneck so-called Minister of Justice. What a joke. When he isn't attacking gays. He's attacking the Supreme Court. Talk about a sinister conspiracy. And the enemy within.

How safe can we all feel? Who is going to keep tabs on these fanatics? I think Stephen Harper needs to tell Canadians whether he's going to follow the laws of our country or the dictates of his church.

In the meantime I just want to say I'm ready for the worst.

I'm going underground the day Harper and his Theocrats get a majority.

I've even picked out my costume.






Don't you love the hat?

Religion is supposed to be about love. But it's turned into an instrument of hate.

They say it couldn't happen in Canada.

But I'm not taking any chances....

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Remembrance Day 2006




















"So when I’m killed, don’t mourn for me,

Shot, poor lad, so bold and young,

Killed and gone—don’t mourn for me.

On your lips my life is hung:

O friends and lovers, you can save

Your playfellow from the grave."


ROBERT GRAVES

Fairies and Fusiliers 1918

Friday, November 10, 2006

Gay Jerusalem and the Vatican Closet Queen












If you wanted to see this young Israeli celebrating his gay pride today you would have had to travel to a closed heavily guarded stadium, on the outskirts of Jerusalem. After a planned march through the so-called Holy City turned into a rally.

On the other hand he might not have been there. He might have been too busy defending his country. Unlike the freakish hatemongering ultra Orthodox who wanted to kill him. But are too busy reading the Torah to serve in the Israeli military. Is that crazy or what?

Still I guess I'm disappointed.... If I'd been there I probably would have been among those arrested for trying to march anyway. But gays and lesbians put their country's interests first. And there were many things to celebrate. A lot of good and brave straight people turned out to support them. It sounds like they all had a hell of a party. And most importantly they got their message out:

"As a lesbian, as a woman, as a Jew and simply as a human being, I have the right to live my life as a lesbian in Jerusalem, openly in my city, close to my family, my friends, my neighbors and my workmates .......If we flee to another city, Tel Aviv, Amsterdam or San Francisco, we shall find ourselves centimeter by centimeter giving way to bullies and violence."

And sent a powerful message out to the whole world about the dangers of religious extremism:

" If nothing else, the fanatics from all three faiths have demonstrated to the world the very real threat to human rights posed by religious fundamentalism. They have made the controversy over the gay pride march into something much bigger: a battle to defend the democratic and humanitarian values of free speech and the right to protest. These are values that ought to concern everyone, everywhere...."

The sad thing is that nothing can conceal the fact that the capital of Israel has been hijacked by religious wingnuts. And doesn't belong to all of its citizens.

And the most disgusting thing is that the Nazi Pope dared tell Jews what to do.
And got away with it.








But then the Vatican closet queen has been getting away with a lot of things these days... In an apparent attempt to avoid the fate of Pastor Penis, he has been lashing himself with self loathing. And bashing us with homophobia.

As I've mentioned before...this isn't about gay marriage anymore. It's all about the Final Solution to the Gay Problem. If this Nazi Pope can't enjoy our beautiful bodies. He'll settle for our blood. Yum.Yum.

But today in a stadium on the outskirts of a divided city blackened with hate, thousands of Israelis replied with a message of love.








As Peter Tatchell points out:

It seems that what Jewish, Muslim and Christian fundamentalists cannot stand is the fact the lesbian and gay community is offering a model of acceptance, unity and love that transcends religious, national, racial and political hatreds.

In Jerusalem, lesbians and gays of all faiths and none socialise together, campaign together, live together and love together. No other community shows such solidarity between Arab and Jew, Israeli and Palestinian, Muslim and Judaist.

That's why our struggle is so important. That's why we must win. I only hope Canadians are as brave as those Israelis were today when our time comes. As it will.

As for me I just wish I was as noble and nice as those people at that rally were today. But unfortunately I'm not... These homophobes have turned me into an animal!!!!

My first instinct would be to wade into that crowd of pig tailed bigots with a baseball bat. Or a machine gun. Or a giant leaf blower to blow them back to the 12th Century where they belong. Or a humungous sewer sucker to take them off to the Bigot Treatment Plant. Or the insane asylum.

But unfortunately I can't.

But since it is the weekend..... and I am a gay animal......and I'm proud of who I am.....and I believe in love not hate...... I thought I'd just end by dedicating this video to the Nazi Pope closet queen. It's a tribute to Pastor Penis from our very own George....



Yum.Yum. You homophobe Popey Nazi. Watch your step or you'll be next!!!!!

And of course eat your heart out....

Have a great weekend everyone!