Che Guevara: Just a T-Shirt or a Warning?

I never got a t-shirt or a mug of Che Guevara. But the dead revolutionary spent more time on the bedroom walls of my life than any other person. With the possible exception of Ayrton Senna...the dead racing car driver.

I didn't know very much about him. Except that he was a rebel doctor who fought for poor people in Latin America...and was murdered by the CIA. Which made him a hero in my book.

And that he had Irish blood in him ....which of course explained EVERYTHING.

Later I found out that it was a little more complex than that. That he was an absolutist with a ruthless streak. A hopeless idealist who led himself, those that followed him, and countless other young Latin Americans he inspired, to disaster and death. Even if it was for a noble cause.

So on the 40th anniversary of his death I was interested in what people had to say about my old dead hero

At first I thought that this guy best summed up how I feel about him now. That Che is just an iconic image on a million t-shirts ...and his message has been overtaken by time.

"Wherever death may surprise us, let it be welcome, provided that this, our battle cry, may have reached some receptive ear, and some other hand may be extended to wield our weapons, and other men be ready to intone the funeral dirge - with the staccato singing of the machine-gun, and new cries of war and victory."

That was the harsh appeal of Che Guevara 40 years ago. Today, it sounds very similar to the message of Osama bin Laden.

And then I read what Ariel Dorfman, the Chilean writer, had to say about him and I changed my mind.

I suspect that the young of the world grasp that the man whose poster beckons from their walls cannot be that irrelevant, this secular saint ready to die because he could not tolerate a world where los pobres de la tierra, the displaced and dislocated of history, would be eternally relegated to its vast margins.

More than 3 billion human beings on this planet right now live on less than $2 a day. And every day that breaks, 40,000 children — more than one every second! — succumb to diseases linked to chronic hunger. They are there, always there, the terrifying conditions of injustice and inequality that led Che many decades ago to start his journey toward that bullet and that photo awaiting him in Bolivia.

The powerful of the earth should take heed: deep inside that T shirt where we have tried to trap him, the eyes of Che Guevara are still burning with impatience.

I like to think that too. Because settling for a world where billions live in desperate poverty and 40,000 children die every day is just not on for me.

Just as I like to think if I had to have a hero he was a good one. Just like the movie was...



Let the world change you and you can change the world.

Oh yeah. Forty years after he was murdered.

Che still lives...

Prince Harry and the Nasty Buzzard

You know something REALLY bothered me about this story.

And not just the sight of one of the Windsor Boys lying on his back dead...instead of just dead drunk.

Or that Harry is missing his ears. But you can buy them if you want.

A bronze casting of his "severed ears" will also be on display at the hotel and will go on sale on the popular auction website eBay at a later date.

Or that the sculptor doesn't know what he is doing or what he is talking about...

"Prince Harry's spirit must have died the day they told him he couldn't serve."

Like fuck it did.

Or even why people would pay tribute to a royal wanker who never went to Iraq because it was too dangerous...and he was too rich. Instead of paying tribute to those who did.

Although that one does bother me a lot.

No. I have to admit that what REALLY disturbs me is why Dead Harry seems to be in a state of.....um....













arousal....












And what IS that nasty buzzard looking at?











Oh no. What an awful statue. What a nasty bird. What a horrible thought. That's enough to make ME snort vodka. And I don't even drink.

But of course it could have been worse. Dead Harry could have been wearing his Nazi fancy dress costume. With a swastika on his arm, a drink in one hand, and a cigarette (gasp) in the other.

And instead of his ears they could have put his humongous cock up for auction on e-bay. Can you imagine how much THAT would have been worth?!!!!!!!

Lawdy Lawdy. What WOULD we humble hosers do without the monarchy?

Do you really think we could be a REAL country one day?

And STILL keep Dirty Harry around to entertain us and.....um..... INSPIRE us?

What a lovely thought...

Larry Craig and the Toe-Tapping Pig

When I heard that the toe-tapping Senator Larry Craig had decided NOT to resign.... at first I was disgusted.

I just wished that somebody would give this miserable closet queen bigot a length of rope...so he could hang himself from a hook in a toilet stall.

But then...after thinking it over some more...I changed my mind.

Fuck the hook... it's so much better and more satisfying...to hang him around the neck of the Republican Party.

By the time Larry's finished with them they'll be so desperate to get rid of him...they'll probably offer to blow him....or rim him....or ANYTHING....as long as he goes.

Which I think we can all agree will be a REALLY good show. Especially when they tell him to blow. And he doesn't.

Besides....if you want even MORE evidence that Larry's misfortune is somebody else's good fortune...

Check out this ad, where a group of socially responsible doctors use his example to warn Americans about some other toe tapping pigs...


OMFG. Oink. Oink. Just when you think America can only get more beautiful. It doesn't.

Never mind the burgers and the bacon and all those fat kids.

You don't think Larry PAID for it...

Do ya?

----------------------------------------

UPDATE:

Oops...maybe he did. What a small world....

ADDENDUM:

As a special treat....before I blow this town...one more cultural story from south of the border. Britney Spears doesn't like Chris Crocker.

“She thinks he's creepy and that all his videos are an obvious attempt at fame. She finds it insulting and difficult to watch."

Creepy indeed. She's talking about him...but she might as well be talking about herself.

And as for Chrissy....will his fifteen minutes of fame ever end?

But wait. It gets worse. Roseanne Barr says she wants to be Britney's MOTHER!!!

God bless America.

See y'all soon....

Nuit Blanche: Toronto's Excuse For a Party

After more than three years in Hogtown I have to admit that on a beautiful warm day like today it's pretty hard not to like Toronto.

Even though as a Montrealer it's still impossible to love it.

It's just too fixated on making money. And not enough on having fun.

So when I saw this event last weekend....an excuse to mix art with an all night street party...I was very excited. Especially about the party part.

I grabbed Sébastien, a couple of other friends, and my video camera, and set off to check it out.

I WAS hoping to make a really classy art video...offer you some quality material for a change.

And there was some really great artsy stuff...like this....um....freezeathon in the park.














But as for the video....it wasn't as long and as artsy as I hoped....



After that I gave up and joined the party.... And it was wild and good.

Although of course the tightass snooty critics didn't like it at all.

In the parks and on the streets were mostly just a bunch of goofy things – people dressed in costumes or singing silly songs. There were balloons holding up strings of lights. Whatever. It was a great night for quirk.

To which I say....fart....or enema. If Toronto had more excuses for street parties like that one it would be a much better place to live.

Oh yeah...as for the art. Yawn.

Remind me to check it out next year....

Elephant Man Bites the Dust Again

Well I'm happy to report I don't have to go to Ottawa to confront this murderous homophobe after all. Because the stinky bigot ain't going there either. He just got scratched. Again.

It seems the idiots at the Carleton University Students Association.... who invited Elephant Man to sing for them....have changed their minds.

Sort of...

"I do want to commend Elephant man and his team for offering to sign the Reggae Compassionate Act in front of witnesses and renounce his previous views on homosexuality."

Huh?

And so have the students at Queens.

“I didn’t want a misunderstanding....I started looking into Elephant Man a little bit more, and along with the managers we decided it was inappropriate for us to be condoning this artist.”

Uh....right. Tell me something...can you REALLY be as dum as a spoon....and still get into a university these days?

And then there's the established gay media. You think they'd be celebrating this latest defeat for murder music. But no...they're not.

They seem to be sympathizing with the idiot organizers instead of with the black and queer groups that are fighting to save our poor brothers and sisters in Jamaica. By trying to make those who have called for gay people to be beaten, or shot, or burned alive PAY for it.

These gay airheads call them "censors." I call them heroes.

People like Akim Larcher of Stop Murder Music (Canada.) You can read more about him in this Warren Kinsella column.

Or this brother and his website.

Isn't THAT great?

You know when a white guy like me goes after murder music and the homophobic zombies of Jamaica I suppose it's worth something.

But when people like him and Akim go after them it's worth a million times more.

And it sends out a powerful message of hope to all our oppressed brothers and sisters in the Caribbean, and sadly many right here in Canada, that some day the oppression and the hate that kills will end.

What I also like about the soulrebels site is that it has a section called "Uplifting." To remind us us that Caribbean music can be so much better than the murder kind.

When it's for everyone and irie.

Just like the Great Bob's music was...


Ok...ok...I know there are too many dorky white people in that video...and not enough Bob.

But the pathetic loser Elephant Man would HATE it.

So don't ya just LOVE that song?

The Asian Bashing Rednecks of Sutton, Ontario

I like to think that what happened in Jena, Louisiana...where rednecks hung nooses from a tree to keep black students away...couldn't happen here. That OUR rednecks are better than that.

Give them a two four, a pick up truck, and a baseball bat on a Saturday night and all they'll do is drive themselves happy. Take out a few mailboxes. And then pass out in their own vomit.... without hurting anyone.

But apparently I was wrong. Meet the Asian bashing rednecks of Sutton, Ontario.

Local youth call it "nippertipping."

It consists of locals driving around in the middle of the night, looking for cars parked near piers, docks and bridges. They then creep up behind fishermen and shove them into the lake. Sometimes the fishermen's gear is tossed in or damaged.

Some townspeople say it's been happening for decades, occasionally triggering gossip but nothing more.

"It's been happening since I was young – nippertipping," said the 20-year-old. "Everybody talks about doing it – `Oh, I went down to the docks the other night and roughed up some Asians.'

Isn't that disgusting?

And what makes it even worse is that despite the fact that EVERYONE knew what was going on... police DIDN'T consider it a hate crime. Can you believe that?

I guess they didn't expect Asian Canadians to fight back. But they did. Good for them. And now the police have changed their minds.

I hope these cowardly redneck criminals are caught and severely punished.

I also hope that the "good people" of Sutton take the time to reflect upon why something as ugly as "niptipping" has being going on in their community for so long without anybody speaking out ...or doing ANYTHING about it.

And to help these rubes work their way through this difficult time I thought I'd send them an instructional video.To show them some of the many other ways rednecks can have fun without hurting anyone...


Except themselves...

Oh yeah...rednecks are funny. Who knew you could turn a stolen supermarket cart into a portable barbecue?

But cowardly racist bullies who think "niptipping" is funny are just disgusting.

And Canada's shame...

Pulling the Plug on Elephant Man

Remember how I told you that Elephant Man, the Jamaican singer who has called for gay people to be shot or burned alive, was due to perform in Toronto?

And how I was planning to confront him, and jump on the stage and make a citizen's arrest if he shot off his murderous mouth?

Well I didn't have to because a funny thing happened on the way to the Kool Haus club. They felt the HEAT and pulled the plug.

And not just on him but on Sizzla too.

I know I told you in this post that unlike Elephant Man.... Sizzla had signed the Reggae Compassionate Act. But a brother wrote in to tell me that had gone back to his dirty old ways.

So good riddance to that bigot too. And BTW didn't you LOVE those anonymous comments at the end of that post? Some people in the Jamaican community just don't get it. How would THEY feel if some gay singer sang about killing them?

But then some people in the GAY community don't get it either.

Marcus Marcus. Or Mary Mary. Like it's ALL about these dizzy airheads and not banning THEIR right to bump and grind their booties to murder music. Instead of making thug homophobes PAY for advocating genocide. Huh? Wot? Don't make me barf.

Look if ANYONE thinks that young gay people are all like that...and that we are going to allow bigot monsters who sing about shooting and burning gays alive to perform freely in Canada....even if our disgusting homophobic socon government doesn't do anything to stop them...they are sadly mistaken.

As the Carleton University Students Association is about to find out.

Despite public outcry from the gay community, a Jamaican dancehall artist whose lyrics encourage the killing of gays and lesbians will perform in Ottawa next week at an event put on by the Carleton University Students Association.

Can you believe that? And WTF is their vice-president Osmel Maynes talking about?

"When we were booking (Elephant Man), we knew about all the issues...."We've been assured he will not be playing anything old. He no longer holds those views..."We support people who change their opinion and no longer hold those homophobic views..."

Bullshit. Elephant Man has NOT changed his views. And inviting him to perform at Carleton is not only a kick in the face to every gay student who goes there.

It's an attack on every other gay person in Canada as well.

Damn. Here we go again.

Let them know how you feel. Tell them that allowing a murderous homophobe to sing on a college campus is something obscene.

As for me I think I'll deliver that message personally. To them and to Elephant Man if necessary.

Isn't life cruel?

I was planning to go to Montreal on Thursday.

And now I'm going to Ottawa....

Why I Don't Really Hate Chris Crocker

If you aren't one of the 10,182,198 people who as of tonight have screened Chris Crocker's YouTube defence of Britney Spears ....which begins like this:

"How fucking DARE.(snarl) ANYONE make fun of Britney!!!! (wail) After ALL she's been through!!!! (sob) She LOVES her aunt....she's been through a DIVORCE!!!!!!"(screech)

And then gets even worse.....

You should consider yourself lucky.

And don't worry you're NOT going to see it here. Because when I screened it I had to take two tylenols and lie down with the blinds drawn and a wet towel around my head. And I'd never forgive myself if the same thing happened to you.

However..... I did find another video to play which has been seen by more than two million people. But is mercifully shorter. So you can get an idea of what this Crockermania is all about...


Now I have to admit that when I first checked out this freak show I had some really BAD thoughts. Like will somebody PLEASE grab that little queen by the neck and drown him in a bathtub?Or just slap her....

But then I read this story. and I changed my mind.

Not only because I found out he's just an effeminate and very angry gay kid who is using the internet to assert himself, and fight back against the bigots in his small Bible Belt town.

As we walked around, past the Sunglass Hut, past the pushy smells of scented candles and baking cookies, people stared hatefully at us, and mostly at him. They stared hard, with the kind of presumed right to glare that people in more sophisticated places wouldn't dare show.

And that takes guts.

But also because I began to be disturbed by the number of gay men who hate him. Just like I do.

Here are some comments from ONE big American gay blog:

Someone PLEASE stop him. I can see the clock of progress screaming back to 1950 with this thing representing gay people.

He belongs in a specimen jar in a carny freak show.

He's hurting a whole lot of gay people out there by reinforcing the stereotype in America's collective mind that we are a bunch of screaming, self serving, good for nothing, mincing flamers.

Will someone please give him a hummer? The kind with four wheels and poor gas mileage? But please back up and run over him a second time. Egomaniacs this self-serving are hard to kill.

Now I like to think the only reason I hate Chris Crocker is because he's so shallow, stupid, and loud. And because he reminds me of my first boyfriend... when he was REALLY drunk.

But then I talked it over with Sebastien and I had to admit that deep down inside I probably also hate him for being such a poor role model. You know not butch enough or dignified enough to represent the side.

Except that he isn't representing the side. Just himself. And for many gay kids trapped in small towns he isn't a poor role model. He's a hero.

And hating him..... for being who he is .....is CRAZY. Because the kind of world I believe in is big enough for EVERYONE....gay or straight.... to be who they are.

And because... although it pains me to say this....the little flamer and I do have some things in common. We're not afraid to stand up for our rights. And we both hate the haters.



Although I wouldn't DARE say it quite like this....


But he does. Somebody has to. So good for him. Or her. Now get me some tylenol...

The moral of this story? Diversity can be extremely annoying but is ultimately wonderful. There is no ONE way to be gay. Bravery comes in many forms, and can be found in the most unusual places.

And Andy Warhol was a fucking prophet when he predicted that EVERYONE could be famous for fifteen minutes.

But of course that was BEFORE YouTube. So he was wrong about the amount of time.Terribly wrong.

That's the REALLY depressing part.

Although Andy would have LOVED Chris .... so WTF?

As the big butch Sebastien said....

Suck it up Simon.

We live in a vulgar world....

Stephane Dion and the Quebec Kamikazes

Well I'm glad to see that Paul Wells

agrees with Chantal Hebert

Who agreed with me that the Liberal Party...at least in Quebec...is starting to look like the Titanic.

Big parties are like big ships. They are designed to be virtually unsinkable but once they start taking on water they tend to go down quickly.

So it MUST be true. Who knew?

But now I'm worried about the Quebec kamikazes....

....one might think that the last thing on the mind of the Quebec wing of the party would be a fall election but the opposite is true.

For (those) who have lost confidence in his leadership abilities – or who never had any – an election can't come a day too soon.

Because fighting an election now rather than later might be a good or a really BAD idea. But wanting to fight one to lose it .... and kill their party and their leader.... is just NUTS.

Just like the fuss the kamikazes are making over this tempest in a tourtiere.

Is absolutely absurd.

Carroll implied that French Canadians are just another minority in Canada. In Quebec, saying anything of the sort is tantamount to political suicide. At this meeting of the executives of the Liberal Party, many of the Quebecers in the room found this to be offensive, and naturally, immediately ran to the Press, including Party President Marie Poulin.

Offensive? Naturally, immediately ran to the Press? Cry me a river. The poor babies. How about contrived?

Yeah yeah.... I know I know (groan) we Quebecers negotiate from nation to nation...so I'm humiliated...zzzzzzzzz....(snore)

But if anybody should be insulted by that alleged story...and the reaction... it's Chinese-Canadians NOT the Quebecois. And where is their outrage?

So these kamikazes or Iggyistas or Raeistas or whatever ....should just cool their jets. And remember that the REAL ENEMY is Stephen Harper and the majority government he drools for .....so he can change Canada beyond recognition. Not other Liberals.

I know it isn't easy to be a Liberal in Quebec these days. The comedians and columnists are having a field day. And the cartoonists can be brutal.

















Like this Serge Chapleau version of Lost in Space....with Dion saying " what do you mean disconnected?"

But the Quebec Liberals should work to change the message...not shoot the messenger...especially not on the eve of a possible election.

To pull this ridiculous hissy fit, and stab their leader in the back, or threaten to sit on their hands in the face of the neocon threat, demeans the democratic process...and themselves.

So they should stop acting like crybabies, suck it up, shut up, get back in the trenches and prepare to fight an election that could determine the fate of Canada....not just Quebec.

And oh yeah.

Listen to this song a lot....



If that doesn't wake them up...before they cut off their noses to spite their faces.

And fire them up to do battle with the REAL ENEMY....the neocon beast Harper and his dark and reactionary forces...who would rape our beautiful land and turn us into yankee stooges.

I can always play Blitzkrieg Bop....

Liberal Revolt: The Knives Come Out for Dion

We interrupt this program to bring you the latest news from the Liberal Party. And it's not good.The ship is sinking.

But instead of manning the pumps they're fighting on the bridge.

Stephane Dion's palace guard was under siege today by members of his own party who are calling on the Liberal leader to dismiss one of his closest aides over alleged remarks about Quebec.

And in the engine room.

Why doesn't Dion fall on his sword and resign, then have an emergency meeting of the executive and install Ignatieff as interim leader?

Soon they'll be in the lifeboats fighting over who gets to eat Jason Cherniak.

In short, I suggest that everybody just calm down and wait. The world will not end if you go to sleep tonight without blaming somebody for something.

You KNOW the situation is desperate....when Jason says it isn't.

Although you don't have to tell this guy. I guess when reality bites....it hurts.

But what can the Liberals do about it? Nothing. Nada. Fuckall.

They've run out of time. If anyone still thinks that Stephen Harper isn't going to go for an election as soon as he can... after dangling this carrot. They must be delusional.

Harper blew his first chance to get a majority and it still smarts. Does anyone really think he's going to blow it again... when the planets are aligned as they are...and everything is coming up smelling like roses?

Afghanistan is in neutral, the economy is booming, Dion is a dud in English Canada. Harper is fooling a lot of Canadians into believing he's a Liberal. And in Quebec .....where only one out of ten francophones now supports the Liberal Party .....it just keeps getting worse.

Paul Leduc, a three-term mayor of a large Montreal suburb, says that he's changed his mind about running for the Liberals and that one of the party's household names provided him with phone numbers for journalists and urged him to go public with his story.

If you were Stephen Harper wouldn't YOU strike now? All he has to do is battle to a draw in English Canada...by bribing them with tax cuts. And scoop up his majority in Quebec.

Which leaves the Liberals facing some really hard choices. Knife the leader in the back now and go into an election campaign bitterly divided. Or put on a show of unity and throw themselves into a campaign many of them secretly want to lose....and spend the next few years blaming each other.

Or cave on the Throne Speech, look weak, and be left propping up the Harper government.

Which right now looks to me like a choice between a quick death, and a slow lingering one.

Of course it's not ALL their fault. Power did corrupt them absolutely. But they are also the victims of history.

They've been left holding the bag for Trudeau's vision of a strong central government. It worked for them when separatism was a threat. But now that it isn't.... it doesn't win them any votes in English Canada. And they can't offer Quebecers ANYTHING.

While Harper, who believes in slashing the power of the federal government ,can offer Quebecers EVERYTHING. And reap the rewards.

Whether the Liberals are running out of time or history remains to be seen.

They desperately need some new grand national vision if they are going to resuscitate their brand.

I'm not saying that Dion couldn't surprise people during an election campaign.

But unfortunately for the Liberals and the rest of us nothing they do....short of promising to abolish the monarchy...will help in Quebec. All THEY want is Dion's head on a plate.

The moment the party chose Dion....thinking they were doing Quebecers a favour... was the imbecile moment. The moment they hit the iceberg.

Now all they can do is rally around the leader and try to keep the rest of the sinking ship afloat.

Before the boilers blow up...