As I'm sure you can imagine, it wasn't Andrew Scheer's best Halloween ever. He's looking a little ragged these days. The creepy smile is gone, he's angry and desperate. He's been going after Justin Trudeau as if he wanted to bite him.
And trying to turn his carbon tax into a nightmare.
Well one thing's for sure, this is going to be the scariest Halloween ever. What with the monstrous Trumpkin scaring the bejesus out of kids and adults alike. But sadly, I don't think I'll be joining in the festivities. Because for starters it seems I don't have the right costume...
Well I'm glad Halloween is over, because it really is a challenge trying to scare people in Harperland. Where every day is Halloween and scarier than the day before. Especially if you're forced to run or hop around in a bunny suit that's at least two sizes too small. And people laugh at you instead of scream. But while I recover from last night's events, I thought I'd show you a few Halloween pictures and ask YOU to decide which one is scarier.
OMG. When I saw those Con zombies going past my place last night, for a moment I thought they were after me eh? But it turned out it was only the Ford Nation on their way to the Con convention, and they were after Steve. But he wasn't too happy to see them eh? Because now he has to meet his slobbering base in Calgary with TWO big monkeys on his back: Mike Duffy AND Rob Ford.
OMG. This is HUGE. It's the Party of the Year !!!! The Cons are going to hold their convention, and unveil their new look, on HALLOWEEN !!!!! The Conservative Party's national policy convention has been rescheduled to Oct. 31, according to party president John Walsh, who issued a written statement on Friday. But although I LOVE Halloween parties, I fear this one may be a BUST.
I'm quite sure that when he was a callow youth Halloween was Stephen Harper's favourite holiday. A day when he could bully and scare other kids to death, and get away with it. Just like he now horrifies decent Canadians, every day of the year.
Although it's a gay national holiday, I decided not to celebrate Halloween this year.
Because let's face it eh? Who needs scary when we got Harper?
And besides with Lezra Levant running around like the crazy lady guy from Psycho...
I decided it was too dangerous to go out. I mean with all those other drag queens runninghobbling staggering around, how was I supposed to tell one from the other? You know some people say Lezra is losing it, but I think he's just crying out for help. And who can blame him?
But of course this is the REALLY scary part. Stocks were hit hard on Monday after Italian bond yields rose, a U.S. financial firm sought bankruptcy protection and Greece called for a referendum on last week’s European debt deal, stirring up concerns about the sovereign-debt crisis. The economy is threatening to go south again, but Harper is still insisting he's an economist, and little Jimbo Flaherty is still determined to slash spending and plunge Canada into a recession. Because, as usual, he didn't see it coming, he doesn't know what he's doing. “I think it’s great for Flaherty to go to Europe and tell everyone what to do — but I hope someone in our government is thinking about what we do when the s--t hits the fan here, which it will,” said the former head of a major Crown corporation. And he can't decide whether to be an idiot gnome or an evil goblin...
Oh boy. Can you imagine the horror? Can you hear the screams in the night? Where did my pension go????? Why is the CBC off the air????? Who murdered Mrs Medicare????? !!!!!! Can you imagine the social unrest? The International Labour Organisation has warned that a jobs crisis caused by the slowdown in the global economy threatens a wave of widespread social unrest engulfing both rich and poor countries. Official figures released today showed that unemployment in the 17-nation eurozone had climbed to a 15-year-high of 10.2%. Young people are being hardest hit by the lack of jobs, with youth unemployment at 29% in Italy, 43% in Greece and 48% in Spain. And youth unemployment in Canada is already TWICE the national average. So the Occupy Canada movement will just get bigger and bigger eh? But of course that's why the Cons are building all those fancy new prisons. Happy Hell-o-ween everybody. Welcome to my recurring nightmare...
Oh no. I'm sorry to report that Mayor Rob Ford is having a horrible Halloween. First he was terrorized by a 59-year-old comedian in a Princess Warrior costume.
Then he called 911. And ran for his life drove to the office. Before the police arrived.
Then he put on his halloween costume, but people were STILL scared of him.
Then he forgot to ask his family business to engrave "I'm the f***ing Mayor of Toronto" on his fancy business card.
Then a well known city columnist called him Toronto's C-Lo Green.
We have known all along what he is like.
He flips the bird at citizens when he talks on his cell in his truck. He called one of his council mates a snake and a weasel. He said another was a waste of skin.
He spewed drunken profanity, and drunken inanity, at a couple of fans at a Leafs’ game, and then he denied having been at the game, and then he retracted his denial.
And now the whole world is watching. And laughing their asses off.
Oh the HUMILIATION.
Of course I don't really agree with Olbermann. To be a really Worst Person you have to be at least half intelligent. And Ford isn't. He just does what his brother Doug tells him.
But please don't tell the Americans that. Because if they find out Toronto is being run by an idiot AND his brother, they'll NEVER come and visit us.
And as for C-Lo Green ...I can only imagine what he's going to say when he hears he's been compared to Rob Ford...
And who can blame him eh?
Gawd. Could this story get any worse, or more embarrassing?
What? You've got to be kidding me.
You KNOW it will...
Try fooling yourself into thinking it's just a nightmare. I find it helps.
The nightmare that never ends. Or the gift that keeps on giving.
