As Robert Mueller closes in on Donald Trump, the Orange Oaf has been tweeting up a storm, hoping to distract Americans from his crime family's problems.
And while many of those tweets fly out of his gaping pie hole like bats out of a cave.
Most of them fly out of his other end.
So you can imagine what a pleasant surprise it must have been to check out Trump's Twitter page, and discover that it had disappeared.
This is the way the world ends: not with a bang but a deleted Twitter account.
At least, so it appeared for 11 minutes Thursday evening, when visitors to President Trump’s personal account, @realDonaldTrump, were informed that there was no such thing.
And although this was a bit anti-climactic:
After saying in an initial statement that the account had been “inadvertently deactivated due to human error by a Twitter employee,” Twitter announced that a rogue customer support worker had done it on his or her last day at the company.
I want to thank that rogue worker for making the world a better place to live in, if only for eleven minutes.
For the truth is that if Trump wasn't the President of the United States, Twitter would have taken down his account long ago, for spreading lies and filth all over the planet.
And of course for stealing an election with the help of the Russians
By forcing millions of people to read his moronic 140-character proclamations, just to find out whether they are going to live or die tomorrow at the tiny hands of a madman, Trump has also done more to debase the quality of their lives than any other person in human history.
So I can only hope that Trump was about to tweet something when his account went down.
Because I can only imagine his reaction...
And I can only pray that when they hopefully find him one morning as stiff as a board, that he can be found in this position...
And that the coroner should rule that he loved himself too much.
And drowned in his own excrement...
22 comments:
Wow, the person who deleted that Twitter account deserves a Public Service award and maybe a commemorative statue!
I agree with you Simon. Trump's Twitter addiction has debased the presidency and by forcing us to read his feed to know what that crazy person is thinking he has debased us all.I used to think that Twitter was a good thing, but Trump and his deplorables have turned it into a toilet.
What's truly frightening is that a man as unqualified as Trump could use something like Twitter to win the presidency. Big Brother must be green with envy.
Trump's latest thing is calling for people to be given the death penalty. Let's remember that after he's convicted of treason. i think they'll have to hold a lottery to see who gets to flick the switch.
The tech CEOs should be in prison, and their garbage honeypot magnets for terrorists both foreign and domestic shut down once and for all. Absence of malice does not equal preponderance of innocence. We got along without this crap for millennia. We can still get along without it. Probably a lot better than we do now.
Hey, if the .gov can shut down torrent sites at the behest of corrupt Hollywood, they can shut down Twitter and Facebook for the good of the country and, indeed, the world. "I was just following orders" didn't work at Nuremberg. "I was just gathering data" shouldn't work at Nuremberg II. Lock them up! Lock them up! Lock them up!
As for this upstanding young tech support worker, I agree: give him a Nobel Peace Prize. He managed to do what no one else ever could: make Dotard shut up again.
I think Hillary and Obama should be the ones to pull the lever on old Sparky. Trudeau can give him a sucker punch while wearing Wolverine claws. Everyone else can choose their weapon, like the scene in Airplane! where a long line of passengers awaits their chance to take a swing one way or another at a hysterical passenger.
But the icing on the bigly yuge and incredible chocolate cake will be Dotard facing all the women he harassed and assaulted over the course of his disastrous career. Just like Weinstein's numerous victims, Trump's (and undoubtedly, there's going to be some overlap) can take some barbed wire and jumper cables and grab him by the...
...tweety bird.
That's all folks!
That was too funny for words, an employee on his last day at work, accidently turned off Trump's tweets. OMG give that person a cigar! The world was saved for 11 minutes. 11 minutes of blissful peace. Wonder how many other times they can turn that orange bowl off.
That idiot Trump doesn't seem to know or care he just poisoned the jury pool. It would be true justice if a judge ruled the case dismissed because the defendant couldn't get a fair trial in the U.S.A. given the president's tweets.
There is a shift in the rhythm of the jungle drums these days with the Dotard out of phase with the lead. He is still loud but has lost his ability to set the lead and drown out conflicting messages. In the past he seemed to have an uncanny ability to know where the opposition were going and set his message ahead of the attack. Previously the natives gleefully danced to the message "if you think I am a grabber,tampering with voters rights or have nefarious business dealings just take a look at sex maniac Bill and crooked Hillary". Although some still dance,try as he might his messages no longer have the same impact and a new rhythm is starting to seep through. It will continue to grow and as anyone familiar with the Con game knows the "do or die" crisis cannot be far behind.
RT
The lowest approval ratings ever, the Mueller walls closing in, Sessions displaying more Alzheimer's symptoms(lying again,) Papadopoulos and Manafort looming like the sword of Damocles or the Rick Gates of Hell. De-Twittered, albeit for only 11 minutes, must have seemed like an eternity to President Moron.
All in all a great week, for us. Now it's off to Asia to see what he can screw up over there with "The Greatest Shit-Show on Earth", the Trump Presidency.
JD
Kinda off-topic but: Simon, can you do an article about Andy Banana losing his sh!t over Governor-General Payette's phenomenal speech about prioritizing science over harmful superstition and Justin's supportive comments defending her in the HoC? Robyn You're-a-Hack, formerly of the National Compost and now with a plum position spitting out word salad at the Conservative Bullsh!t Corporation, predictably is siding with Scheer Idiot, because of course she is.
Payette's statements come at a time when the populace is turning against science -- including even some gullible, nominal "liberals" who fall for snake oil like Gwyneth Paltrow's "natural health" nonsense, and the disturbingly nonpartisan support for anti-vaxerism. Case in point: Robert Kennedy's son is in Trump's cabinet as anti-vaxer-in-chief. (See Carl Sagan's famous quote in The Demon-Haunted World that was eerily prescient in forecasting how our social and political landscape looks today.)
Not to mention, it's another subtle troll to Dotard and his minions by an educated Canadian, as they are going out of their way to do just like Harper and stifle any scientific realities that get in the way of their oil profits. A glaring example: Rick Perry gave an appalling statement just this past week that fossil fuels could stop rape from happening in third-world countries. He claimed that this was because fossil fuels would power electricity, and thus allow for things like streetlamps that provide visibility on the streets. Therefore, more energy (but only his brand of energy) = more light = fewer violent crimes like rape. Yeah, OK, Rick, because all the bright lights of Hollywood and New York City in the world's #1 petro-power country stopped Weinstein and Trump, right? Oops...
Anyway, I think this would be a good story for you to cover. Maybe do a drawing of J.T. as Galileo and Payette as a condemned "sorceress" whom Pope Andrew the Deplorable wishes to burn at the stake? Or Payette and Trudeau as Armstrong and Aldrin, Payette saying "Justin, we have a problem" (even though that was from Apollo XIII, not XI) and Trudeau saying "He's one giant leap backward for mankind"? :)
hi anon...yes I agree, anyone who topples that squawking Twitter buzzard off his perch, if only for a few minutes, is a hero in my book...
hi anon...I agree, I totally resent having to read his deranged feed to know whether I can relax and enjoy the day, or need to keep working on my fallout shelter. I like fine and noble things, and having to read that ape's crude tweets, is a horrible way to start my day...
hi anon...yes it is frightening. Frightening to think that Trump could do anything right, and use something as simple as Twitter to win the presidency. And yes, if Orwell was still with us, I'm sure he wouldn't believe it...
hi anon 2:56...yes, he has been issuing tweet after tweet calling for the death penalty, no doubt to try to stir up his bloodthirsty moronic base. On the bright side, it probably reflects his state of mind now that Mueller is breathing down his neck. And if they asked Americans to line up for a chance to flick that switch, the line would extend from New York to California...
hi anon 8:30 pm...yes I suppose Hillary and Obama and all the women he has groped should get first crack at pulling the lever. Damn !!#@!! In my dreams I thought that if the Americans couldn't decide who gets the honour, they might ask a Canadian to help break the deadlock. I'm normally against the death penalty, but in this case I could make an exception... ;)
hi anon...yes, the problem was that we didn't realize how Twitter and Facebook could be used to manipulate the vote, or just fool the ignorant, until it was too late. The next time we vote in the U.S. or Canada, we better be better prepared, or the same thing could happen again....
hi e.a.f....I can hardly imagine anything worse or lower than a president of the United States loudly calling for somebody to be executed before their trial begins. The man is a beast and an idiot...
hi RT...are you suffering from a bad bout of optimism or what? ;) But yes, I think that Trump is slowly being ground down by the job. Too many responsibilities and not enough golf. I notice that the reaction to his proclamations at Breitbart is considerably more muted than it once way, and as you know his approval polls are skimming the trees. I don't think it would take very much to have the Orange Oaf either go off the deep end, or decide that the hassle just isn't worth it...
hi JD...yes, the Greatest Shit-Show on Earth should be good for a few laughs, unless he annoys the North Koreans so much they fire a missile in his general direction. And we all go up in smoke. But somehow just having him far away from North America is a pleasant feeling, and the air seems cleaner...
hi anon...your wish is my command. I have been trying to convince people that Scheer is a dangerous religious fanatic, so needless to say I'm feeling like a cat that just ate a big fat pigeon. ;) I don't know if I will have Payette as a condemned sorceress, at least not this time. But you can be sure that Scheer, the filthy misogynist, wishes he was back in the 14th Century so he could light the pyre. And I'll try to portray him once again as a dangerous religious fanatic, who should be forced to resign his position, before he sets this whole country on fire...
It would be true justice if a terrorist who killed 8 and injured many others had his case dismissed cuz of Trump? Ah the progressive left at it's finest.
https://np.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/7amzzm/papadopoulos_repeatedly_represented_trump/dpbauax/
The Mar-a-Lago-ization of the [US] federal government - the construction of an informal process alongside the official process and deliberately signalling that all real power rests in the informal process. Once you understand this is happening, examples abound.
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