Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The Tragic Death of Jamie Hubley

I know a lot about suicide. Ever since I saw a young straight couple jump in front of a train at the McGill Metro station I have tried to do what I can to prevent it.

I have worked as a volunteer in the mental health system in Montreal and Toronto. In the last few days I have been too tired to blog because I have been visiting a colleague who tried to kill himself, and the experience has left me physically drained, and emotionally numb.

I wanted to write so badly about the awesome Occupy movement. But I just couldn't. So the last thing I needed to read tonight was this sad story.

Another gay kid murdered by bullies. In a country that doesn't care enough about this crime against the young.

Another last entry in a blog full of teenage pain.

Being sad is sad : /. I’v been like this for way to long. I cant stand school, I cant stand earth, I cant stand society, I cant stand the scars on my arms, I cant fucking stand any fucking thing.

I dont want my parents to think this is their fault either… I love my mom and dad : ) Its just too hard. I dont want to wait 3 more years, this hurts too much. How do you even know It will get better? Its not.

So tragically similar to so many others...

The slashed arms, the bandaged wrists, the cries for help that were never answered. I know them all. I know that about 95 percent of the young people who try to kill themselves are suffering from some kind of mental illness like depression or schizophrenia. I know the warning signs.

I know we need to invest more money in our mental health system. I know we need to smash the stigma and talk more openly about mental illness and the problem that is killing so many Canadians. From native teens to men in their eighties.

And above all I know that bullying can drive a depressed kid to suicide. And it must STOP.

It will get better. But only when we as a society MAKE it better.

You know....I support the Occupy movement because I want a kinder, gentler, world where bigotry and bullying and cruel things don't happen. Where people come before profits and war machines.

And that day can't come soon enough.

Poor Jamie Hubley. Another gay kid murdered by homophobia.

Going out lonely.

Singing this song...

Born this way.To die at fifteen.

When will the slaughter end? What kind of country are we?

When is enough ENOUGH?


  1. Anonymous10:04 AM

    Thank you for posting. It's just awful, and bullies online some of them even paid to do so I daresay.

    It leaves me empty, too. A person can't even say RIP, because it's not like that. 'We are the hollow men.'

    Terrible. Again.

  2. A terrible tragedy, and now (as always) so many are left with "what if / if only"

    My heart goes out to his family and friends.

    RIP lovely Jamie

  3. Sometimes I am ashamed of this once fantastic country that we live in but I am ashamed of the human condition all the time.

  4. A talented and kind-hearted young man.

    No reason for this stupid homophobia.

  5. Anonymous7:52 AM

    RIP Jamie. I was you, once: bullied, depressed, alone, hurting, looking for any kind of end to it all. I still don't know how I survived.

    Simon, thank you for posting.

  6. Anonymous11:42 PM

    Simon, I hope you are okay, and your friend too. :(

  7. I have been visiting a colleague who tried to kill himself, and the experience has left me physically drained, and emotionally numb.

    Hi Simon,
    How is your colleague doing and, how are you doing? I've been thinking about both of you since I first read this post.

  8. Anonymous2:28 PM

    We a Gay Straight Alliance from Thunder Bay have heard of this tragic death; we aim to help stop the homophobia in our school so deaths and tragedies like this don't happen. We were all devastated to hear that someone, someone that close to our age killed themself. Jamie was a topic at our meeting yesterday and we all felt great sadness. RIP Jamie Hubley we didn't know you but you will be remembered in our hearts and those of others <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 (a heart to represent those of our PSI/GSA who were at this week's meeting)

  9. hi anonymous...yes it is a terrible tragedy. But although it devastated me, I am more confident than I have ever been that some good will come of this. So Jamie's loss will not be in vain...

  10. hi sassy...yes it was a terrible tragedy, and as you say there are so many what ifs and if only. As there have been with so many others.
    And thank you for asking about me and my friend. The good news is that he is making a good recovery. His mum has come down fron northern Ontario to stay with him, and some of his other colleagues have taken over from moi.
    As for me, I'm recovering too. Shortly after I told Seb I hadn't realized how strong I am, I collapsed from exhaustion. But now I'm feeling much better, and ready to fight again... :)

  11. hi zoombats...Canada's record when it comes to bullying has filled me with shame for years, and the human condition sometimes depresses me beyond measure. But as I said above, I am confident that some good will come of this horrible tragedy, and since the human condition also includes a great capacity for good, the challenge is to make sure it prevails over despair...

  12. hi Thwap...yes he does seem to have been a great kid. The kind of person who even in his last dark moments could find time to forgive
    his enemies. And yes homophobia and all other kinds of bigotry are evil, and they must be defeated...

  13. hi anonymous...I'm sorry to hear that you had to endure so much suffering when you were a kid. But I'm glad you survived. Just like I did.
    Because, as one of my favourite sayings goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
    Strong enough to beat the bullies, and their hideous homophobia.
    And trust me we will do it...

  14. hi anonymous...thanks for caring about me and my friend. As I told sassy we both went through the wringer, but we're both on the road to recovery, and the sun is shining again...

  15. hi Gay Straight Alliance from Thunder Bay...now that's the best news I heard all week. Hooray for you and all the other members of that beautiful anti-bigotry movement. I am with you all the way. The present may be hard, but I haven't the slightest doubt that Jamies's death will not be in vain.
    And together we will make sure that the future is better for all other bullied kids.
    I have been very sad, but I'm smiling now. Thak you so much... :)

  16. do you have a link to Jamie's blog? I don't mean to sound horrible, I just know that my Gay Straight Alliance at my school would be very interested to read more about Jamie. Jamie seems as thought he was an amazing kid, and we all send our condolences to you and Jamie's family and friends. No one deserves to be pushed this far to the edge. May he rest in peace <3

  17. hi blitzbabe... I wish I could but I see that his blog catchmeblondy that I linked to in the post has been taken down, probably by his family.
    I'm sad but I don't blame them. It was the blog of somebody suffering from depression and bullying, and as the picture of Jamie's slashed arms shows, it was at times very dark. The best way to remember him is by working with your GSA to help make a kinder, gentler world. He would like that...