Friday, October 28, 2011

The Fordzilla and the Princess Warrior

I didn't really want to write anything about this surrealistic confrontation, between Rob Ford, the grotesque Mayor of Toronto, and the Princess Warrior.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is apologizing for using the "f-word" during a 911 phone call but denies a report that he called dispatchers "bitches."

After being attacked in my driveway, I hope I can be excused for saying the f-word. I never called anyone any names. I apologize for expressing my frustration inappropriately."

I mean what more can you say about that eh? Except that the whole world is watching.

And that's a bitch. Because now they must think we're all IDIOTS.

And this:

(1) Any person who would tie up a 911 line, not once but twice, because he felt threatened by a well known elderly comedian, is either an irresponsible maniac, a moron, or a coward. Or all of the above.

And a public official who abuses a 911 operator should resign. Immediately.

(2) From the moment Rob Ford was sworn in as Mayor he has acted like an absolute jackass...

And the damage he is doing to this city, and its reputation, will take a generation to heal.

(3) The Ford Nation who elected him should stay in their suburbs grave yards...

And never show their faces in public again. Until well after midnight. The stumbling, bumbling, zombie CRETINS.

(4) If Stephen Harper could enthusiastically swap spit with Marge...

The Fordzilla could have at the very least offered her a friendly ear. Or let her fondle his ample buttocks.

(5) His Homophobic Monstrosity should definitely release this tape. So we can see whether he's squishing the truth. Again. And have a good laugh. Because he owes us eh?

(6) Could somebody please buy the moron a big bubble machine? To limit the damage he might do to the city, by distracting him for the rest of his term in office.

Because I understand he's easily distracted.

And it worked for these guys...

And they're MUCH smarter than him.

Oh more thing.

It turns out you CAN put lipstick on a pig...

But it's STILL a ghastly sight.

Oh no. Poor Toronto.

It was almost a world-class city.

But not anymore...


@OakBayBoy said...

Nicely done, Simon! Personally, I say let him continue the boobery. It's just too much fun to watch our SwearMayor dig himself deeper every day. And I've always been a surrealist, so it suits my sensibilities.

Anonymous said...

Generally I frown on personal attacks regardless of political affiliations. In this case, though, I'll reluctantly make an exception as this IS Toronto we're talking about here. Loved the post.

Simon said...

hi OakBayBoy...well thank you. I have to admit that the Fordzilla brings out the worst in me. ;)
But although I enjoy watching him make an idiot out of himself, I have become rather fond of the place we Montrealers call Hogtown, and I hate to think what he might do to it. So if the bubbles don't work, maybe a kite shaped like a giant hotdog might do the job. At this point I'm prepared to try ANYTHING to make it go away... ;)

Simon said...

hi Way Way Up...I have to admit that the post was a bit rude, and that I might have got a bit carried away. But as I told OakBayBoy that crass bully millionaire brings out the worst in me.
I shall try harder to restrain myself, but it's really, really hard... ;)