Friday, December 14, 2007

So Now I Know Why I am Gay...

When I was a child I loved the story of Peter Pan....the boy who refused to grow up.

So much so in fact that when my parents took me to a production in Edinburgh at the age of eight....and I saw that Peter was played by a GIRL!!!!

It almost broke my little gay heart.

So you can imagine how happy I was to read this story.

Desmond Morris, who became a bestselling author by applying zoology to explain human behaviour, has now utilised the techniques to put forward an explanation for homosexuality.

In his latest book, The Naked Man, he concludes that men are “made gay” because they retain infantile or juvenile characteristics into adulthood – a phenomenon known as neoteny.

Wow!! EXCELLENT. It turns out we are ALL Peter Pans and we didn't even know it!!

But NEO -- teny? Uh oh. That sounds ominous.

Although I must admit the rest of this dubious theory does seem quite flattering.

According to this theory, gay men also tend to be more inventive and creative than heterosexuals because they are more likely to retain the mental agility and playfulness of childhood.

“The playfulness of childhood is continued with certain people into adulthood. This is very much a positive. Adult playfulness means that certain people, often a fairly large proportion of them gay, are more inventive and curious than heterosexuals.”

Yes that MUST be true. As S├ębastien always says as he tucks me into my cradle at night: "Just be thankful for homophobia Simon...because it helps keep you young."

Goo goo gah gah.

Although maybe having to fight for your own freedom all your life....or not hating others like they hate you....does keep you young. So we can run faster than the homophobes can.

And this theory at least isn't as stupid as the mummy loved you too much and daddy didn't love you enough one.

But I do want to make it clear that despite my inner child I do want to grow up. In fact I can't WAIT to be a really mature and serious and wise gay old man.

Or do I ?

Hmmm. Wait a minute. Hold the wire whisk. Did I REALLY say I want to grow up?

I change my mind.

Cmon Tinky you twinky little lesbian. Sprinkle some fairy dust over S├ębastien .

And let's go back to Neverland...


  1. Anonymous12:50 AM

    I always wanted to stay young! I always want to be 12! but hey, im 20. life sucks :P Can i be 12 again? :-d

    oh, and i love peter pan.


  2. Anonymous8:27 AM

    The heteros have so much to be thankful for by having us around. They get to speculate, form hypotheses, judge, degrade, and at the same time wear all the fabulous clothes, the great house designs, those awesome movies, and all of the other great things we do for them unconditionally. I've seen some pretty bizarre theories about us, this is all warm and fuzzy and I'm sure Nicolosi and Dobson and the rest of the religious whackjobs will be all over this.

  3. Hi Rashid!!! No you can't be 12 again...but why would you? Twenty is just perfect. Young enough to be able to get away with practically anything...and not as dum as when you were seventeen!! :)
    But seriously though you're as young as you feel...I know some very old people who are younger than some of my friends. I think the key is to be as smart as you can...but never become jaded or bitter...and always retain a child's open mindedness and appreciation for the wonder of it all.
    Of course I never practiced what I preach now but you SHOULD!!! :)

  4. Hi are so right.It never ceases to amaze me how they just can't stop talking about us. They are obsessed...or should I say possessed... with us. I mean I KNOW we are fabulous but enough is enough.
    Although I must admit I'm going to have to struggle with my demons not to let what Morris said go to my head. Or give me a woody.
    After being called a "Fag Beast" not so long ago...being acknowledged as a member of the "Chosen Few" is almost overwhelming.
    I WANT to believe him!!!
    But unfortunately I can't....

  5. Anonymous12:47 PM

    I have to agree that I as horribly disappointed by the fact that Peter Pan was played by a... a... Oh My God! A Chick! It’s the perfect role for a nice pretty boy, you know, the kind Morris imagines us all to be.

  6. Anonymous5:23 PM

    I just remembered I had a Peter Pan drinking glass that I used since the movie first came out sometime in the sixties. Mom Saved it for me and brought it to Toronto, I couldn't believe it! Unfortunately, my sister broke it and was terrified I would disown her for life. It would be worth a fortune now but I still love my sister.

  7. Anonymous1:33 PM

    re: Peter Pan

    If I recall correctly, one of the reasons given me as to why Peter Pan was performed by a female had to do with the flying harness and weight and the backstage crew's ability to pull and hold without endangering themselves and the actor.

  8. Hi Bruce!! I don't know about the pretty the time I think why I liked Peter Pan so much was his FABULOUS green outfit, the feather in his cap...and of course the fact he could fly...and lived on an island with a bunch of Lost Boys. You don't think that said something about me do you?
    But then when I got older I liked Robin Hood with his green tights...and his merry men... even more. Go figure :)
    P.S. As for the movie glass I never collected stuff like that...but when I mentioned what happened to Farm Boy ...who collects just about everything Disney ever made...he just about fainted. With his priceless kitch all over the place I live in fear that what happened to your sister could happen to me...

  9. Hi NG !! Oh NOW they tell me...I thought it was because girls were smarter than boys and could remember their lines better!
    Seriously though...thanks for that. It reminded me that I read somewhere that when the play came out the mechanical wizardry was a huge part of its success. Like so many movies today ...the special effects were almost more important than the story. Although in the case of Peter Pan the story was a good one...

  10. ...and thanks for the YouTube. I LOVE the song.And Mary Martin was great. But not only is she a woman...she's just a little too old for the part... :)

  11. That's an interesting point of view - and convincing. Observing the heteros, especially when married for some years, they get old and boring, whilst gays may remain younger for a longer time and having less problems when treating with younger gays and viceversa.
    I liked a lot Peter Pan when I was a child, really shocking that is was played by a girl. That destroys illusion...

  12. That Morris guy is a real knob sometimes. People are gay to biologically emphasize certain aspects of their sexuality - and it's about loving devotion, not childishness. Gay men are so supportive of one another compared to straight men or compared to the way straight women treat men. The result is a positive force to be reckoned with that rarely comes into being in a just-straight group of people.

    Gay men also take on that 10% role of the community that is responsible for ultimate creativity in maleness... great architecture, art, invention, and so on... not hanging back to fight to be able to win in the same boring niche as the other 90% whose aim is to settle with women and be content to be kings of their sad little suburban castles and remote controls.

    Gay women have another role again. It has something to do with that great feminine earth mother energy stuff that the straight women don't often properly worship. Thankfully, gay women also provide alternative to the humdrum of normal straight life.

    why does everyone have to try to interpret things as being unusual or some arrested state on the way to normal? Why can't gay be an important or even crucial ecological role to play in our species?