Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Stephen Harper's Stinky Barnyard Shuffle

I was having a little nap at work this afternoon when suddenly I was awoken by some horrible pig sounds. I snapped to attention thinking it was my bosses. But it was only the TV across the room blaring out live coverage of Great Fat Leader's stinky barnyard shuffle.

Naturally I soon drifted back to sleep....zzzzzzzzz....only to be tormented in my dreams by some disturbing questions:

Like who is going to run Canada while all these OLD pigs go back to skool to try to learn NEW tricks....and doesn't everybody know that's IMPOSSIBLE?

Will Gordon O'Connor do as great a job as Revenue Minister as he did as Defence Minister? And if so should we surrender...I mean declare bankruptcy..... now or later? Or at least switch to the Mexican peso. And after he's fucked up there what's next? Running a sardine factory?

Or a scrapyard for all that useless military junk he bought....which will only get to Afghanistan.....AFTER the troops have left.

Will Bev Oda receive as much support from international development agencies as she received from private broadcasters before she became Heritage Minister? Does that mean she'll be spending a LOT of time abroad? Excellent. And will her new limo bills be smaller or even BIGGER? If that's possible....

Will Chuck Strahl our new Indian Affairs Minister remember to say First Nations instead of just "injuns"?

And of course the MOST disturbing question of all: How did an idiot like Peter Dumbo MacKay ever become Defence Minister?

Do our troops in Aghanistan KNOW what that means? Will they be tempted to take their chances and surrender to the Taliban rather than follow him.....to CERTAIN disaster?

Will Condi love him even more.....now he's a dum jock in uniform? And make Dumbo happy...no matter what happens to our poor troops. Or will he have to borrow a dog and sulk after every tragic and bloody mistake? To try to make Canadians love him again. Good luck.

And of course there's that extra special question: Does Dumbo even realize that Stephen Harper just placed him in the deep end of the pool .......with an anchor around his neck?

Glug. Glug. Glug. God help our troops. God help Canada.

Does mediocrity breed mediocrity? Or is it just its own reward?

Canada's NEW/NOUVEAU New Government. How exciting.


1 comment:

Jay said...

I like how the new MND not only has zero military experience, but believes that Jeebus created mankind and dinosaurs at the same time...how in the hell did Harper get away with putting someone with such neo-con orthodox religious views in that position at a time when the CF are tasked in areas that are religiously volatile?

the potential for blowback is huge.

and Chuck Strahl...man...

Harpo may as well have named Paul Bunyan to Forestry for all this "shuffle" is worth.