Well it finally snowed where I live, as if to remind me that I'm still living in Canada, even in the ghastly darkness of Harperland. The deathly place where the frozen bodies of the hopeless are stacked up like cord wood, or those kayaks. But it's also beginning to look a lot like Christmas...
And although I can't remember a grimmer holiday season, with the world never looking more depressing and dangerous, and all the horrible stories in the news. At least I'm comforted by the warm thought that this must be Stephen Harper's worst Christmas EVER !!!!
I have to admit the last few weeks have been pretty bleak. And I haven't been able to get into the Christmas spirit.
The death of the blogger Bruce McDonald deeply affected me. It made me very sad. It brought back memories of my own struggle with depression.
At a time when the political darkness has never seemed so dark. The Harper Cons never so foul.
And to make matters worse my companion Sébastien has been away working with an emergency medical team in Haiti. Where poverty, disease, and despair are making people crazy.
The south-western region of Grand Anse has been swept by rumours that voodoo followers were deliberately spreading the infection using a mysterious powder.
According to police, machete-wielding mobs began tracking down those suspected of employing "black magic," before killing them and burning their corpses in the street.
It's been awful. I've tried to blog about funny things to lift my spirits. But I haven't been able to motivate myself enough to put up the Christmas tree.
I can't tell you how much I depend on that strong, noble guy to lift me out of the muck of this sick world, and help me see the faint light of a better tomorrow. Or how much I have worried, or how much I have missed him.
And I'm not the only one. The old dog who loves Sébastien almost as much as I do, waits by the door every night for him to come home.
Or just mopes a lot and refuses to play with his robot.
And of course the robot is sad too eh? Because he can't play chase the bunny.
It's Christmas Eve, and once again I have to explain to my friends, that although I'm an atheist. And believe that our beautiful planet is our heaven and our hell. And although I hate the shopping and the greed. And although I know that it can be a lonely time for many, including all those gay people who have been rejected by their families. I do love this time of the year. The lights, the colours, the snow, the food. And all those sweet little stories that moved me when I was a child. Like the one whose happy ending made me cry when I was nine-years-old, and was spending Christmas in hospital recovering from meningitis. The story of the poor little old donkey and his friend, who was ordered by his father to sell him. But the only one who wanted him was a tanner... for his hide. Until the kind stranger arrived...
Because even back then I loved animals,and I wanted the humble to inherit the earth. And now that I know that there are so many of them.
Even in Canada...
I believe that more than ever.
And I won't support any government that doesn't put them FIRST. And then there's the music...and the songs like this one that I used to sing...when I was a budding juvenile delinquent dressed up as an angel. In a choir like this one...
The words still don't mean anything to me eh? But isn't the sound of gentle humanity GLORIOUS ? Imagine what kind of beautiful world we could build if there really was peace and justice on Earth? From me and Sébastien, my beloved companion who illuminates my life like those Christmas lights do.
And picks me up when I sometimes despair that we'll never be able to build that kinder, gentler world...or even save the planet. And of course, from our little olddonkey reindeer...
Every year at this time Sébastien and I put together two haversacks full of goodies and deliver them personally to some of the many homeless people freezing on the streets of our city.
To make up for the Christmas presents they didn't get, to spread a little cheer, and above all to show that we care.
Because homelessness isn't just hard and cruel, and a country's shame. In Canada, in winter, it can be fatal.
We've lost something in this country, I think. It happened in the past few years and it is particularly obvious in my neck of the woods. It's a loss of shame about the plight of others, fellow Canadians. Around the time that our armed forces became "warriors," not peacekeepers, something was unleashed. A sizable amount of vanity, greed and harshness of spirit.
I also feel that we're losing our precious Canadian values. That our hearts have grown so hard that we can't even see the misery around us.
That's why it's so good to read stories like this one.
And to know that there are other Canadians like Daniel who are trying to stop our country from becoming a jungle. By treating some of our most miserable and vulnerable fellow citizens like human beings instead of animals.
As for Sébastien and I ....we had a hoot. Because in addition to the shortbreads and chocolates, I also made up a giant batch of coffee....with BAILEYS. Now I'm not much of a drinker. And the smell of Baileys makes me nauseous. And Sébastien said I put too much in. But boy was it POPULAR !!
We got to hear some sad and funny stories from guys with names like Rufus, Chipper, and Bear. Sébastien was able to slip in some medical questions, and escort one guy to a nearby hospital to be treated for a horrible ulcer on his leg. And I hope that for a moment at least some of these poor Canadians didn't just enjoy my special Christmas Blend....but also felt a little less lonely.
Of course none of this changes anything. Little acts of kindness aren't enough. Homelessness remains a cruel and shameful problem. We need more affordable housing, and better treatment facilities. We need to make that a priority EVERY day of the year.
But I guess what I'm trying to say is that if we're ever going to solve this horrible problem, first you've got to see the problem....and the humanity. First you've got to feel the pain.
As you probably know I'm an atheist. I don't believe in God. I believe a cosmic fluke explains the presence of humans on this beautiful blue planet. And that it's up to those humans to determine whether it will be their heaven or their HELL. But I still love Christmas. I know it can be a sad time for the sick, the poor, and the lonely. Just like it can be a hard time for many gays and lesbians driven from their homes, or alienated from their families, by the hatred created and stoked by evil religion. But still I love the bright coloured lights, the parties, the food, the excitement in the eyes of the kids, and of course the movies. All the usual suspects, A Christmas Carol, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Miracle on 34th Street, and It's a Wonderful Life...with the sign on the wall of Pa Bailey's place: "All you can take with you is that which you have given away." Try taking that one to the bank these days. But also since I was about five years old, The Small One, a story about a boy who is forced to sell his best friend...a little old donkey who had been abused by others all his life.But the only one who wants to buy him is a tanner, for his HIDE. Until the magic moment arrives...
I don't know why I like that story so much. I've got a scientific mind. I don't believe in manger myths. But it's probably got something to do with hope, and my belief that we should respect and celebrate the humble creatures who share this planet with us.
And then there's the music. Not just the Christmas carols I've been known to sing in the street when I'm.....um....a little TOO merry. But the songs I used to sing in churches when I was a boy...
The words meant nothing to me then, and they don't mean anything to me now. But isn't the sound of human voices HEAVENLY ? Imagine how great we could be if we could all work together to make a world as beautiful as that sound. A world where peace replaced war, and love replaced hate. And gay people could live in peace and dignity instead of being insulted, attacked, and killed just for who they are. So that's what Christmas really means to me. Coloured lights, sweet movies and music, good times with the ones I love, and the hope and promise of a better tomorrow....of a heaven for everyone right here on planet Earth. From me, my shining star Sébastien, and my little donkey reindeer Kerouac...
