Tuesday, March 16, 2021

The Loser Erin O'Toole's Scary Con Convention

There are now only two days to go before the Con Policy Convention is due to begin, and Erin O'Toole is trying to pretend he's looking forward to it.

But don't believe a word.

The truth is he's TERRIFIED.


Captain Outhouse knows the virtual convention will be jam packed with his enemies.

Enraged SoCons, rabid right-wing extremists, racists, misogynists, homophobes, and just plain kooks, who feel he has betrayed them, and is leading them to disaster.

And would love to see him walk the plank.

But then who can blame them? With a possible election on the horizon O'Toole is going nowhere.

Numerous media reports have pointed to growing unease within the Conservative caucus and among party members over O'Toole's stewardship. While moderates wait for a plan that could take the party back to government, some social conservatives feel O'Toole has turned his back on the wing of the party he courted successfully during last year's leadership race.

While Justin Trudeau, now that the trickle of vaccines has become a flood, stands to become even more popular...

And is looking like a real winner.

While as even the Con friendly Paul Wells points out, O'Toole will only get one chance to try to prove he isn't a loser.

The good news for Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole, as an election looms more or less ominously, is that winners often look like losers before they win.

The bad news for O’Toole is that, on the other hand, losers often look like losers before they lose. 

Which won't be easy, for obvious reasons... 

And could it could end REALLY badly.

One veteran Conservative told me the party is unified for now, more or less, by the imperative of defeating Justin Trudeau. But if the Liberals win their majority back, Canadian Conservatism will have four years to revisit whether its various factions feel like sharing one party.

Which helps explain why the mighty Con Propaganda Department is already showing signs of falling apart, judging by this attack ad it sent out this morning...

Which is being laughed at all over the internet.

And may also help explain why Captain Outhouse is looking and sounding so desperate...

Or if you watch that clip with the sound turned off, looking so SCARY.

Yup. Give Justin Trudeau the crushing majority he deserves.

And let the loser Erin O'Toole help bury his own party... 


23 comments:

Jackie Blue said...

I hope they rip each other limb from limb. The "handyman" ain't the sharpest tool in the shed if he thinks he can patch this clown car with duct tape. "Moderate" nothing. He's been cribbing from the Mitch McConnell playbook obstructing bills on social progress. He's giving the green light for QAnon cranks like Marjorie Taylor Gallant and "star opening act" Candace Owens, I mean Leslyn Lewis, to run for the big blue circus tent. His backer Kenney is waging "cancel culture" wars against Bigfoot. And all to appease his deplorable, reality-allergic base, who thinks Justin Trudeau is literally the devil. Well, I for one can't wait for sensible Canadians to give a majority government to, the (handsome) devil we know.

In the words of the "Effin' Birds" series of characters, "Apparently I've tuned in for the thrilling adventures of Dumbfuck O'Toole." Top o' the mornin' to ya, Erin Go Blah. I'm not normally one to get my Irish up, but in the spirit of the season, I'll extend him a backhanded blessing:

"May the road rise to meet ya, when ya drive into a ditch.
May the devil rise to greet ya... you son of a bitch."

Anonymous said...

It is a great pleasure for me to witness the Con's propaganda department, in their frenzied, mouth foaming haste, release that great commendation for JT. How embarrassing that must be. My thoughts on that are great job guys, now let's get to work.
Equally gratifying is seeing the tool doing his impression of a traffic cop during rush hour or a crazy person at any time of the day. And no worries Simon, the only way I can stand to look at a tool video is with the sound turned off. Let these latest displays of Con incompetence serve as a reminder to Canadians that is this who you want running this great country?
JD

Jackie Blue said...

Top o' the mornin' to ya. I expanded my sentiment of laughable contempt for Dumbfuck O'Toole and added some musical accompaniment. Brian and Ronnie notwithstanding, here's another drinking song for ol' Tool Man, a disgrace to Ireland if there ever was one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLOIzWU-dgg

But here's something else to take delight in. Even the Con hack Ivison has some fresh gossip about the pub brawl at the Sir Johnny A. Looks like the next leadership circus might be the Thrilling Adventures of Pete and Pete.

When the navigator is fighting with the chopper captain, the big blue helo seems destined for a crash, doesn't it? Enter Skippy, the autopilot who's full of hot air...

Steve said...

You know what happens. It was the best convention ever and Tool is like the best Tool. K tel could not have invented this tool but here he is our remarkable tool.

Anonymous said...

So what will it take to have the SoCons sit around idly while the O'Stool applies progressive lipstick to the dinosaur? Sadly all it takes is a promise to appoint Lewis to the number two position once they trash the immoral Liberals in the next election. In addition to some practical consideration the SoCons covet a member of a visible minority that is willing to sell out the people they claim to represent. In true narcissistic fashion they are viewed as a prized trophy that validates SoCon beliefs. Such juicy table scraps,unfortunately Sloan and PP will not be attending the feast.

RT

Simon said...

Hi Jackie....

"May the road rise to meet ya, when ya drive into a ditch.
May the devil rise to greet ya... you son of a bitch."


I've always admired the Irish, and their spirit of resistance, which I always felt was so much more more inspiring than the very
strait laced Scots. Although I should add that after enough booze it was hard to tell the two groups apart.

But yes, I am looking forward to seeing O'Toole trying to please all the bigots in his rotten party, while trying to sound like a moderate. A new Abacus poll on Con attitudes makes it only too clear what a challenge that will be.

It will also be interesting to see how Poilievre behaves during the convention, so we can judge how much he still wants the top job.

I should warn O'Toole not to eat anything yer ghastly Pigeon offers him, but of course I won't...

Simon said...

Hi JD...I can't figure out why O'Toole decided to release that disturbing video, and though it might help his cause. But after the outhouse video I suppose anything would be an improvement. I don't know if you've seen the video of O'Toole and his wife boozing it up in their backyard because it's pretty bad too. He clearly should be running for mayor of some small town in Alberta, because he's definitely NOT a future prime minister...

Simon said...

Hi Steve...a K-Tel version of O'Toole complete with an outhouse that makes farting sounds when you put him inside and close the door? I'd pay big bucks for something like that...

Simon said...

Hi RT....As far as I'm concerned Lewis would make an excellent dinosaur. She's been trying to restrain herself, but when the racists start booing her, and her monstrous ego implodes, she alone could take down the Con convention. But O'Toole is so desperate to portray his rotten party as a diverse one, making her sound like the future, should be an absolute farce...

Anonymous said...

" I don't know if you've seen the video of O'Toole and his wife boozing it up in their backyard because it's pretty bad too."

I have not seen it, Simon. Please share because I can't find it.
JD

Jackie Blue said...

Hey Simon

One last word about Dumbfuck O'Toole and that Ivison article:

Apparently one of the higher-ups on his campaign team is named Steve Outhouse.

You really can't make this up.

sisyphus said...

O'Toole's tartufferies in Ottawa and Kenney's grandstanding here in AB will hopefully be one more step towards their demise! I really appreciate your efforts, Simon, in lancing this persistent con boil and I love Jackie's acerbic comments! Thank you both!

Anonymous said...

Conservative Party strategy for their AGM:

" How can you say the conservatives are Trumpians?!!! Just look at our commitment to diversity!!!

Some of the CPC's "best friends" are of the "newer, less pure stock"!!!! And conservatives are generous enough to allow said best friends to come third place in party elections!!! "

BX

Steve said...

Tool should hop on the tire fire in Alberta to keep warm

ottlib said...

Wow, just wow.

The Conservative Party, by a good majority, voted against saying that climate change is real. What stupidity.

The policy that comes out of these conventions is non-binding on the actual politicians that go out to seek votes. However, they are symbolic and the party rejecting the science of climate change is a really big stick that their opponents can use to beat them with.

Really, all they had to do is acknowledge it. Their apologists in the media would have jumped on it and waxed poetically on how it show the Conservatives really are a "moderate" party and its leadership could do the same. Of course, when the election actually came the leadership could "finesse" the issue so as not to make any real commitments but they could have had that policy position in their back pocket to wave around when needed.

Now they do not even have that. The party just handed their opponents a gift and handcuffed the party leadership. The hostility to acknowledging climate change will make coming up with a credible proposal to deal with it nearly impossible without pissing off a significant number of Conservatives, in key regions of the country. As well, even if they do come up with something, however thin it would probably be, the party's opponents will be the ones with their rejection of climate change to wave around.

Pandemic aside, climate change is the defining issue of our time and that is not going to change. Denying that fact is just plain delusional and a recipe for wandering the political wilderness for quite some time.

ottlib said...

Oh yes, one more thing.

The Party rejecting the idea that climate change is real less than 24 hours after Erin O'Toole gave a speech saying the opposite is a major rebuke for him.

The Party membership not being willing to follow where he is leading could be a very big problem for him going forward.

Anonymous said...

Conservative delegates reject adding 'climate change is real' to the policy book
https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/conservative-delegates-reject-climate-change-is-real-1.5957739

First there was Kenney's attack against the Wookies, and now this. Is nowhere in the universe safe against Conserative cancel culture?

Simon said...

Hi JD.....For some reason I can’t find that video in my files, but don’t worry I will find it, for it it makes O’Toole’s claim that only Trudeau is pushing for an early election, appear totally fraudulent....

Simon said...

Hi Jackie....Yes, I am familiar with Steve Outhouse. O’Toole’s Deputy Chief of Staff, former executive pastor of the Greenbelt Baptist Church, and good friend of the ugly SoCon Leslyn Lewis. You’ll be hearing about Mr Outhouse in the run up to the next election...

Simon said...

Hi Sisyphus.... Yes, the tartufferies of O’Toole, Kenney, and let’s not forget Doug Ford, are doing serious damage to the Cons. If I may brag a little, I’ve been predicting that the Cons would eventually run out of history. The world cannot cope with the many existential threats it faces until the Cons are just a bad memory. And thank you for your kind words, Jackie really is something...

Simon said...

Hi BX....Yes, the Cons were hoping to use their foul conclave to make themselves look good. But as we now know it had precisely the opposite effect. You can fool some of the people some of the time, but with the exception of the Con media, you can’t fool all of the people all of the time,,,

Simon said...

Hi anon @3:29 pm....I don’t want to be too carried away, but I think that the Cons are making the kind of mistakes that will sooner rather than later prove fatal. No sane Canadian could ever take them seriously again. And hopefully, if we work really hard, we can use all of this to destroy them. Glory, gllory, hallelujah !!!

Simon said...

Hi Ottlib....Yes, I must admit when I saw that the Cons had voted to declare that climate wasn’t real, I was overjoyed beyond belief. So much for O’Toole’s claims that the Cons are a moderate party. And when I saw that the SoCons had urged their coven to vote to reject the motion that climate change is real, I practically levitated with joy. Progressives are going to be able to use all of this to club them like seals, and they will deserve it...