Friday, July 20, 2007

Stephen Harper: Big Daddy or Big Brother?

Uh Oh. It looks as if Great Fat Leader's plans for Total Canadian Domination have just suffered another major setback. No matter what Stephen Harper matter how many billions of dollars of our money he spends trying to buy himself a majority.

Canadians STILL don't like him.

Discomfort with Stephen Harper's Conservatives is deepening among women, francophones and wealthier Canadians, according to a new poll that puts the government in a dead heat with the Liberals in popular support.

Awwwww...isn't that too bad....or TOO excellent. Thank the Maple Syrup God for Quebec and Canadian women.

Oh yes and don't forget to thank the war in Afghanistan too. If we didn't have that little warlet to worry about we might REALLY be in trouble. Our soldiers may be dying for nothing over there. But at least they're KILLING Harper...

But what worries me is this advice...courtesy of the former Liberal hack Peter Donolo.

Women may be uncomfortable with Mr. Harper's combative style, said Mr. Donolo. He said the Prime Minister needs to get back to stressing his middle-class values and family orientation.

Oh no! Groan. ANYTHING but that old cheesy act... Not Stephen Harper as Big Daddy or Mr Nice Guy. Again.

You know what that means? Tons of pictures of the Harpers at home ...or at rube rodeos ....or tip toeing through war cemeteries...looking like cardboard cutouts. Or shots of Harper taking his kid to a hockey summer. Or Gentler Kinder Great Fat Leader posing as an animal lover....

Except that I don't think it's going to work this time. Even cats aren't that dum. matter how hard I try I just can't see the image of Great Fat Leader as Big Daddy going very well with his other image as Big Brother.

You know this one....

It's just such a bad mix....

How can we feel safe and comfy cozy in Big Daddy's octopus arms, if Big Brother is scaring the living daylights out of us? By threatening to arrest any Canadian who hasn't already been jailed for smoking pot.

Poor Great Fat Leader. If he tries to play Big Daddy after acting like a zombie tyrant for so long, Canadians will think he's trying to FOOL them into giving him a majority....and boo him mercilessly. Or laugh in his face.

And if he tries to play Big Brother he'll remind Canadians what a Stephen Harper majority government might actually look like....and have them shitting their pants or running for the exits.

And if he tries to play them both at the same time the combination could

I suppose if all else fails he COULD try to play Big Mummy...

But nah...that won't work either. He's got the tits for the role but the outfit is all wrong....and surely Canadians are smart enough to tell the difference between a drag act and a Great Impostor.

Which I suppose means he can't win. So we can't lose.

Isn't Stephen Harper fucked?

Isn't life grand?

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous9:06 AM

    Good news frere, on his last day in Chile, he got told to go home. More and more people are seeing him (and his klowns) for what he is and not liking it. :)