Vimy Ridge: The Myth that Doesn't Work?

I see everything is ready for Great Leader's super duper photo op at Vimy Ridge. The one he'll probably use as his last uncampaign campaign appearance, before cooking up some way to trigger an election.

The only consolation I get out of this tawdry political spectacle is that it will be over by Tuesday and we can forget about Vimy for another ten years.

I mean the monument is magnificent. One can't help but be moved to visit a place where so many young men were killed and wounded. It is a special place.

But if I hear anymore jingoistic nonsense about the meaning of Vimy Ridge...

I think it's really important to remember because it's the key to understanding why we have the peace we have in Canada today,"

"It's my belief that you don't understand Canada until you've visited Vimy," he said. "It is where our nation was born."

"The society we have is not ours by divine right. They gave their todays so we could have our tomorrows.

I think I'll scream....or vomit.

Which is why I was glad that Michael Valpy took a closer look,in today's Globe, at the making of the Vimy myth.












And reminded us that most of the soldiers who fought there, and the people back home at that time, called themselves British rather than Canadian. That the only ones who called themselves Canadians back then were the French. And that Vimy was a relatively minor battle....

It had a negligible effect on the war's outcome. The Canadians had equal casualties and more strategic successes in other battles, such as Amiens and Passchendaele. If French or British rather than Canadian troops had driven the German enemy off Vimy Ridge, history probably would have forgotten about it.

Reminded us too why it's such a powerful myth for English Canadians...

It can be argued that what initially invested Vimy Ridge with mythology was the confluence of grief and nascent English-Canadian nationalism.

And something else for French Canadians....a myth that doesn't work.

Celebrated as an event that forged a nation, it led directly to an event that almost fractured the nation — conscription, and its cleaving of English- and French-speaking Canadians.

Which is why this act of disrespect and incompetence leaves me absolutely dumbfounded. I mean if a myth is going to work for a country...shouldn't it be shared by everyone?

Which makes me wonder whether we would be better off mythologizing other battles...like the ones that freed Holland, or the disaster at Dieppe.











Oh I know we didn't win that one. But the Australians lost at Gallipoli and it still worked for them.

And Dieppe is such a perfect symbol. Our colonial masters treated us like cannon fodder and sent us on a doomed mission. But we still fought bravely and we showed them.

And the best part came after the surrender when the Nazis and the Vichy traitors tried to separate the French Canadians from the other Canadian prisoners. They tried to sweet talk them and offered to take off their handcuffs, and give them full rather than half rations.

But the French guys refused.... and marched half way across Europe chained and hungry with their English-speaking comrades.











Now that's a myth that works for me... French and English Canadians fighting the fascists. Instead of British Canadians fighting for King and Empire.

Which leaves me with one final question. Was our country really born on a battlefield? This Quebecois Libre doesn't think so.

It is ludicrous of course to pretend that Canada was born at Vimy. French settlers, the first European occupants of the territory we today call Canada, arrived three centuries earlier, which is one good reason why this Vimy mythology never caught on among French Quebecers.

Nations are not born all of a sudden when politicians sign some document, they are born and grow everyday when people work together, exchange goods and services, create a culture and develop common references, in short, build their lives and their communities peacefully....

Which is of course our greatest achievement..... Getting a whole bunch of nations to coexist peacefully inside one country..... without the kind of war that tore the United States apart.... thanks to our genius for tolerance, compromise, and peacekeeping.

And leads me to believe that maybe the new myths that this country needs to reinvent itself and survive have been there all along, right in front of us, far from any battlefield...and certainly far from Vimy.

And that just because they're not bloody or pumped up with hollow jingoism from another age....which somehow seems to appeal to a lot of Canadians...and is being fanned by the ridiculous nerd chickenhawk Steven Harper.

So many Canadians can't seem to see them or don't want to. Too bad. It's one thing to use the past to help us with the future.

And another thing to live there....

Saint Bone of Arc and the Religious Frauds

Of all the many indignities I've been subjected to in life having to play the part of a Catholic fanatic in my school's version of George Bernard Shaw's Saint Joan,had to be one of the most humiliating.

Especially since I really wanted to play the part of the tragic heroine/butch dyke .... but didn't get the part because I guess I wasn't gay enough.

So instead of being able to swagger around in armour carrying a sword and talking about freedom and good stuff like that. I had to introduce myself as Brother John Lemaitre Acting Chief Inquisitor into the Evils of Heresy in France....hiss... Blather on about creepy religion. And walk around in a black dress carrying a bible.

So naturally I was interested in this story.

A rib bone supposedly found at the site where French heroine Joan of Arc was burned at the stake is actually that of an Egyptian mummy, according to researchers who used hi-tech science to expose the fake.

Their best guess is that the fake was cooked up in the 19th century, perhaps to boost the process of Joan of Arc's beatification. She was canonized as a saint in 1920 by the Roman Catholic Church.

Mummy Mia! It seems that some habits die hard.

"John Paul II cured me," the 46-year-old nun said Friday, smiling serenely as she spoke for the first time in public about her experience.

"It is difficult for me to explain to you in words . . . It was too strong, too big. A mystery."

Uh oh. Call the Grand Inquisitor. Fire up the barbie. I think we may have another French peasant woman hearing voices in her head.

But then what do expect from religious fanatics who cover up crimes against children? Or justify genocide? Or blow themselves up in the name of their gods? Or think that sexuality is the biggest problem in the world?

When everything they do and believe is just superstition, fakery and fraud

Expert Research Finds Homosexuality More Dangerous Than Smoking....

"The same pattern of early death turned up whether we looked at obituaries in the U.S. or deaths in marriage. Given the greatly reduced lifespan for homosexuals, school children should be strongly and consistently warned about the dangers of homosexuality even more so than smoking."

Paul Cameron, a reviewer for the British Medical Journal, the Canadian Medical Association Journal, and the Postgraduate Medical Journal, has published over 40 scientific articles on homosexuality. The EPA, is the oldest regional Psychological Association in the United States.

I must admit that when I first saw this story I was somewhat alarmed.....never having considered that I might have to quit homosexuality BEFORE I quit smoking.

Until I realized it was just THIS Paul Cameron....the freaky wingnut fraud.

"... despite the fact that he was officially expelled from the American Psychological Association in 1983 and officially condemned by both the American Sociological Association and the Canadian Psychological Association, Dr. Cameron is still allowed by law to present himself as a credentialed and published psychologist "

And how did this wacko homophobe present his "scientific article," He didn't.

"The fact is he roamed the public corridors of the convention venue and "told" doctors about his research.Cameron was neither a registered speaker nor a member of the convention faculty."

As I said before ......what are we going to do with these bigoted religious crazies? Except do what we can to make sure they're never in charge. By joining the Blog Against Theocracy.

And by never being afraid to say that this story is bullshit too...

I guess any group that would burn a woman at the stake and then make her a saint, or believes that a nun was cured by a dead reactionary Pope, or that homosexuality is more dangerous than smoking, is capable of believing anything.....

I'm just glad that more and more people everywhere are standing up for reason and sanity. And telling those crazy religious fanatics to keep those voices in their heads to themselves...and keep their bloodthirsty medieval nonsense out of our schools.... out of our government.....and out of our lives.

Have a Happy Chocolate Bunny Day everyone!

Or at least a better Bunny Day than this one...

Religion is fraud.

But a dog is a dog....

The Happy Prisoners of Tehran

I was really glad to see that the British navy crew is back in Britain after their unexpected 13-day holiday in Iran. And that although they were forced to wear those horrible suits and that head scarf, they came home with lots of presents. And they seem to be just fine.

Although I was a bit disappointed to see that some people in Britain are grumbling about their outstanding performance as The Happy Prisoners of Tehran.

The images were jarring, verging on the bizarre.....The latest television footage showed the detainees sipping cups of tea, accepting bags of gifts and answering questions from Iranian journalists about things like whether Iran reminded them of Wales. Several appeared to go out of their way to thank the Iranians for releasing them.

"I do not blame the hostages for their apparent willingness to confess and apologize," Glover wrote. "But we had better be honest with ourselves. In no previous era - not during World War II or Korea or Suez or the Falklands - would British servicemen have behaved in such a manner."

Oh please....harrumph harrumph...will somebody please remind that jingo blowhard that Britain is not at war with Iran. Yet.

I'm happy to see the British military says it won't punish the crew. And I'm sure the British public won't either. They're just happy to have them back again.

They hate the war in Iraq. And I'm sure they figure that the crew just said what they had to say to get the hell out of there. Or maybe what they said was true. Who knows?

It has emerged that one of the 15 - Royal Marine Captain Chris Air - admitted Britain was gathering intelligence on Iran in the Gulf, which the Ministry of Defence said was "all part of modern operations"

In a previously unbroadcast interview, he told how one purpose of patrols in the area was to gather "int" - intelligence - on "any sort of Iranian activity". He acknowledged that he was operating close to the buffer-zone between Iranian and Iraqi waters, adding: "It's good to gather int on the Iranians."

Uh oh...when you do that, and you fuckup, don't be surprised if shit happens. But if that's what happened, then I think the navy crew deserves a medal for outfoxing the Iranians.

They may be young and dum. And I doubt they have any clue about Iran...and its long and unfortunate relationship with Britain.

This anti-British sentiment is shared by ordinary Iranians. Its resonance defies boundaries of age, education, social class or political affiliation. In the eyes of a broad cross-section of the population, Britain - as much, or even more than, the US - is the real enemy

But in this case that dumnitude probably fooled the Iranians into thinking that no group that stupid and naive could possibly be gathering intelligence on anyone.

And besides....sometimes young is smart...who else could have come up with the brilliant idea of keeping their spirits up.....by turning their hostage ordeal into another version of Big Brother?













So they didn't act hang their heads or look pouty, sullen or defeated. They just acted like themselves.

And by so doing showed that our life affirming culture of freedom is far superior to their life denying death worshipping Mullah fucking theocracy.

Especially the female sailor. She showed all the oppressed women in Iran, what a free woman looks like. And smokes like.

Bottom line. Nobody was hurt in the making of this movie. The British learned a lesson and so hopefully did the Iranians. And diplomacy got a boost just when it needed it the most.

Thanks for the laughs kids. Welcome home.

Jolly good show....

Taking a Ride on the Fastest Train on Rails

I love taking the train to Montreal even though it takes forever....about five hours....and sometimes even more. But I don't mind. I always travel in Via One, where they ply you with so much food and booze....that the longer the trip.... the more plastered you are when you arrive. Burp.

But that's just because I'm Canadian....so I settle for so little...as long as I can get drunk.

In more modern countries like France you'll soon be able to have breakfast in Paris and have lunch on the Mediterranean ......by just jumping on a bullet train like this one.




A French high-speed train broke the world speed record on rail on Tuesday, reaching 357 miles an hour (574.8 kilometers) in a much publicized test in eastern France, exceeding expectations that it would hit 150 meters a second, or 540 kilometers an hour.

Wow! Imagine.....Toronto to Montreal in about an hour. Wouldn't that be awesome? But I wondered what it must be like to travel on a train that fast...... and now I know. Terrifying.

When we hit 242 mph, it felt like an airplane taking off. The pressure sent pains through my ears ......Outside, the train roared by like a jet, sparks spit from the overhead power lines and a trail of dust sprayed out behind.....

Inside, the pendulum swung widely, and the train shook and roared...I thought we were about to derail.

Hmmm.....how exciting....like an amusement park ride that just goes on and on. But isn't train travel supposed to be relaxing? And besides I'm troubled by a haunting question.

If some yob dropped a boulder from an overpass into the path of the train....as yobs love to do....how many coaches would the rock go through before it came to a stop?

So I decided to check out the video....



Hmmm.....Just as I thought .....all of them...

So maybe I'll stick to the Via Snail after all. It may be old and primitive like so many things in this country. And you may be plastered by the time you get off it.

But at least unlike that fancy smancy Frenchy train...

You don't have to get drunk to get on it....

Dick Cheney and the Secret War in Iran

Ok...ok....so maybe the Third World War won't start on Good Friday.....after all.

On the thirteenth day of the crisis, President Ahmadinejad kept a global audience in suspense for nearly two hours with a rambling monologue about religion and Britain’s history of meddling in his country’s affairs. Then without explanation he announced that his 15 British captives would be set free as a “gift” to mark the Prophet Muhammad’s birthday, Easter and for good measure the Jewish festival of Passover.

Maybe the demented dwarf Ahmadinejad has bought himself some time.

.....it arguably strengthens the hand of the diplomats in the ceaseless debate with the hawks over what to do about Iran. After all, the doves can say, patient negotiation won the day. After scoring an own goal, Iran can claim to have come out of the game with at least a draw.

But I'm still worried about Chimp Bush's weird state of mind. And so is the New York Times.

Mr. Bush’s comments about Mr. Dowd are a reflection of the otherworldliness that permeates his public appearances these days. Mr. Bush seems increasingly isolated, clinging to a fantasy version of Iraq that is more and more disconnected from reality.

He gives a frightening impression that he has never heard any voice from any quarter that gave him pause, much less led him to rethink a position.

Except of course for Jesus' voice....and the commands of the ape in the shrubs....



Isn't that spooky? But it gets worse. There are more and more signs that Dick Cheney is running the show....even more than he usually does. And has taken personal control of the secret war on Iran.

A Pakistani tribal militant group responsible for a series of deadly guerrilla raids inside Iran has been secretly encouraged and advised by American officials since 2005.....Pakistani government sources say the secret campaign against Iran by Jundullah was on the agenda when Vice President Dick Cheney met with Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf in February.

Hmmm .... let's see....the Americans are supporting a Contra-like war against Iran, paid for by Saudi Arabia...just like they did in Nicaragua. They have two carrier forces sailing close to its waters. The Israelis are urging them to bomb Iran so they don't have to. The religious fanatics in Iran are trying to make people think that their ratty nuclear program is more impressive than it is. Chimp Bush is in a world of his own. And Ape Cheney, driven crazy by the disaster in Iraq, is in charge.

And if that's not disturbing enough....Operation Bite has already made it to Wikipedia. Isn't that wicked?

With all these strange things happening...how do you think this story is going to end? I mean REALLY. With a handshake and a gift from Mohammed....

Or a very loud bang?

Will the U.S. Attack Iran on Good Friday?

It looks as if the Easter weekend could be really cold in Canada, but very hot in the Persian Gulf.

The United States will be ready to launch a missile attack on Iran's nuclear facilities as soon as early this month, perhaps "from 4 a.m. until 4 p.m. on April 6," according to reports in the Russian media...

Yikes...not Good Friday....the day of our Lord... But how obliging of the Russians. Now I know that if I go out on Friday night to party and get drunk and celebrate the death of Jesus, I have to get back by at least 10 pm....or risk missing the start of the Third World War.

But seriously though, does Tony Blair know something we should know, when he said the next 48-hours would be critical?

British Prime Minister Tony Blair told reporters in Scotland that the next two days would be “fairly critical” to resolving the standoff over the navy crew, although he gave no details what he meant....

I guess he couldn't eh? Telling people the hostages were about to become human shields wouldn't go down well in Britain .....or Iran.

What with two carrier groups in the Persian Gulf region and another on its way...the Iranians are already a little paranoid...and even crazier than they usually are.

Which makes me wonder why a group of British sailors and marines would be operating in such dangerous waters, with their mother ship, HMS Cornwall, eleven miles away.

Especially since they should have known that the Iranians had tried to grab some hostages...or human shields...before












As U.S. and Iraqi soldiers approached the Iranian officer and began speaking with him, a platoon of Iranian soldiers appeared and moved to surround the coalition patrol, taking up positions on high ground. At that point, according to the Army's statement, the Iranian captain told the U.S. and Iraqi soldiers that if they tried to leave they would be fired on. Fearing abduction by the Iranians, U.S. troops moved to go anyway, and fighting broke out.

So after that incident.... was placing British sailors and marines in the situation they found themselves.... an act of incompetence or a provocation designed to get the Iranians to do something crazy? Which would make waging all-out war on them just a little bit easier...

I want to believe it was incompetence, except that George Bush and Tony Blair considered playing the provocation game when they were looking for an excuse to start that other war.

President Bush had plans to lure Saddam Hussein into war by flying an aircraft over Iraq painted in UN colours in the hope he would shoot it down, a book reveals.

“The US was thinking of flying U2 reconnaissance aircraft with fighter cover over Iraq, painted in UN colours. If Saddam fired on them, he would be in breach,” the book reports Mr Bush telling Mr Blair at the meeting.

And anyone who could even think of doing that is capable of anything....

But surely sanity will prevail. And luckily I'm not paranoid. If I was I might think that the real reason George Bush wants Nancy Pelosi out of Syria. .....is because he's planning to bomb it as well.

But nah..... that would be too crazy...so I'm going to stay out all night on Friday and party with the pagans. Although now that I know the exact time the Third World War might begin.

I just might set my vcr....

The Family from Hell and Other Wingnuts

In a world where a Nazi Pope tries to speed up the beatification of a Dead Polish Pope by producing a Crazy French Nun to turn a fraud into a farce...and put the seal on a Trinity of Bigots...

In a world where a religious wackos use bananas to try to prove that gods exist....or try to deny evolution by holding up a jars of peanut butter...

Aren't we lucky we've got the most hated family in America to show us what religion is REALLY all about ?

Nonsense and hate....

You can see the other parts of the documentary here.

All I can say is....for those of us who want to see religion buried face first in the stinking garbage can of history.

If we didn't have the Phelps family.

We'd have to invent them...

Conservative Attack Ads and the Dumbo Media

I see the Conservatives are threatening to unleash a new batch of attack ads.

As if the last batch of ads wasn't dum and vulgar enough. And dangerous too......

I almost broke my neck a couple of times....diving for the remote control to try to mute them or change the channel. And I bet I wasn't the only one.

But of course it didn't work. Because no sooner had I zapped the ads than they they popped up on some tv news program....like flies on shit. Brought to us over and over again by our dumbo media.

The same right-wing dumbos who are threatening to do that to us again.

Isn't that great? When a political party makes a new video about its platform it's propaganda or boring. But when a party attacks another one it's news...

Oh boy...Stephane Dion might try to put an optimistic spin on it.

"I believe he has difficulty filling 30 seconds saying anything positive about his government, so he goes negative," Dion said. "They think they're good at that, but they're underestimating the intelligence of Canadians."

But he would......

I hope he's right about underestimating the intelligence of Canadians...I'm not sure anymore.

But I do know something...Everyone is OVERESTIMATING the intelligence of our dumbo media....especially television where most people get their news from. Or did.

As news channels compete ever more feverishly for ratings, serious coverage of politics and issues is being forced to the margins by a torrent of junk news, gossip,and other stupid stories.

The CBC news schedule is filled with that kind of fluff....and more animal stories that you could fit in a zoo. On CNN no story is low enough to tell. I mean if Larry King can get away with necrophilia...with his creepy coverage of Anna Nicole Smith...there are no longer any limits to where they might go.

Which leaves the poor old BBC. The last holdout of journalistic integrity. And now about to become the latest victim of the of the dumbing down klowns.

The BBC has ordered a major review into who is using its services in a move to make programmes more populist. ......BBC chiefs want a return to the golden age of family viewing after complaints that today's comedies are dominated by sexual themes and bad language. The Corporation's big idea is to return to 'ensemble' shows with large casts and 'silly humour'.

Isn't that depressing? They don't mention the news. But I've seen more stupid stories on the Beeb in the last three weeks than I've seen in the last three years.

Which means that soon all the news will look like this...

What We Call the News | Send To Friends | Funny Animations at JibJab

Oh boy won't that be great. I can't wait for the dumbo media's version of the War with Iran.

Remind me to take bad drugs and drink a lot. So I can lose half my brain.

Surrender to the idiot rabble.

And really enjoy the show...

Chocolate Jesus and the War Against Theocracy

Oh no! It looks as if they're going to be eating Chocolate Jesus sooner than they thought.

A planned Holy Week exhibition of a nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ was canceled Friday after Cardinal Edward Egan and other outraged Catholics complained.

How disappointing. I was hoping to fly down to New York next week, to see if I could make a bid for the chocolate dick. So after giving it a lick or two .....I could mail it to the Catholic thug Bill Donohue. And have him melt it in the right place....

“The Roger Smith Hotel is morally bankrupt. It is the goal of the Catholic League to make it financially bankrupt as well.....The Roger Smith Hotel will rue the day it sought to declare war on Christian sensibilities......”

Yikes! Holy Unvirgin Mary! I don't understand what the thug inquisitor is going on about. I mean when you think of Easter what comes to mind? Jesus...... or a chocolate egg?

And besides I thought Cosimo Cavallaro's rendition of Our Sweet Lord was pretty restrained and classy....when compared to some of his other work....

Like his porky classic Ham Bed....












That's Cosimo slicing the ham. He said that although he studied art in Italy, he rejected prosciutto because "it would have been pompous."

Wow! Isn't that Canadian? Although I am happy to report he didn't spare the mozzarela in his cheesy classic.. Hotel Room...












Mama mia! That's a lot of mozzarella....he shoulda called it Mouse Heaven....and pissed off the wingnuts again. I just hope Cosimo isn't too disappointed by the chocolate fiasco.

He should remember that Donohue is a crazy wingnut freak who should be locked up in a lunatic asylum ........or sealed up with the perverts in the Vatican.

Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular. It's not a secret, okay? And I'm not afraid to say it. ... Hollywood likes anal sex.

And that the wacko inquisitor has gone after other artists too...like the Broadway producers of Stairway to Heaven.

And the creators of South Park.

I call them the "secular supremacists," and they have it out against the 85 percent of the population who's Christian, because they don't like the idea that liberty means the right to do what you ought to do. They believe in license.

So liberty means the right to do what you ought to do...and where would we find that kind of liberty I wonder? Answer: in a theocracy.....like Iran.

So why should we be surprised that the same people who presume to tell us what we can watch or eat...should now be trying to tell gay teenagers who and when they can fuck.

"With legislation proposed by the government to raise the age of natural sex from its current 14 to 16, at the request of homosexual activists, Comartin proposed an amendment at the committee stage to “harmonize” the consent age for anal sex with that for vaginal sex; making it 16 for both."

Isn't that great? A 17-year-old can fuck a girlfriend in the vagina and it's ok. But if he fucks her or his boyfriend in the ass he's a criminal and could go to jail for ten years?

Woohoo! Something tells me there are going to be a lot of sexual outlaws out there.....gay...and straight.

But what are we going to do with the religious crazies of this world....who believe their voodoo gods should tell the rest of us what to do? What can we do to keep their cold clammy hands off our bodies...or keep their pointy noses out of our assholes?

Except maybe join the Blog Against Theocracy If they want a war let's give them one.

And relax with a little freedom song...to remind us what life is really all about.



Have a great weekend everyone!

And if you're down in New York, please give Chocolate Jesus...

A lick and a bite from me...

Harry Houdini, Sherlock Holmes, and the Pope in Hell

Sometimes when I walk through Edinburgh late at night....past the old medical school, it's hard not to think of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and his creation Sherlock Holmes. It's still so much like their world, especially on a foggy night. That when you come across a lonely figure under a streetlight, you can almost see the Great Detective tapping out his pipe on the lamp post .

Instead of a junkie looking for a vein. Or a drunken yob having a smoke.

That's why I found this story so fascinating. The idea that Harry Houdini could have been murdered....



Some of Houdini's descendants, the authors of the book and some notable forensic pathologists have been attempting to get permission to exhume the body in order to search for evidence of poisoning

And that Sir Arthur could have done it.

At the time of his death, Houdini was embroiled in an acrimonious battle with Conan Doyle and other followers of Spirtualism, which held that human "mediums" could communicate with the dead.

Houdini, he wrote, would "get his just desserts very exactly meted out ... I think there is a general payday coming soon".

Wow! Can you believe that? And I thought we killed him.

Lying on a couch, he chatted with three students from McGill University. One of them, a ruddy six-footer, asked if it was true that Houdini could take the hardest punches to his stomach.

Hovering over Houdini, elbow bent, the student began forcibly punching him in the stomach....

Very ingenious Professor Moriarty....dispose of the crazy chain freak by putting poison in his padlock...and pin it on a dum Canuck.

But you know the weird thing is that all that "general payday coming" stuff that Conan Doyle was muttering darkly about? So is the Nazi Pope

"Christ came to tell us that he desires all of us in heaven and that hell, which isn't spoken about much in our time, exists and is eternal for those who close their hearts to his love...

he described hell as a state of existential abandonment, "the loneliness into which love can no longer reach."

Well that explains it doesn't it? Nobody said being a closet queen would be easy. But at least after all those lonely self loathing years he should find hell somewhat comforting....


















I mean where did he think he was going to end up anyway? In the gay part of heaven?

And what's going on in the Vatican anyway....or in Ratzinger's head? If the Nazi Pope gets any darker he'll turn into a vampire. And will be forced to hold 20-minute after midnight masses to give him time to clamber out of his gilded coffin, and into his red Prada slippers.

But then, of course, all religious fanatics have an infinite capacity for self delusion. If you don't believe me just check out the mad mullahs in Iran.

They seem to think they've scored some kind of propaganda victory by seizing the British sailors.

When all they're doing is making themselves even bigger targets. And of course.... sullying the honour of our women.

I mean isn't forcing that sailor girl to put on a head scarf the equivalent of parading a Muslim female prisoner around dressed only in a niqba and a bikini? And as for her saying that they trespassed....judging from the picture...some people will say anything for a smoke. If I was in her situation I certainly would...

But I'm sure our brave hostages will keep a stiff upper lip, and show those crazy mullahs what they're made of. And that they can go as long as they have to without their freedom ...as long as they don't have to go too long without their pork sausages, bacon rolls, or beer.

No I'm not worried about them.

I'm worried about Tony Blair. Once the poodle was just a fool....or a foodle. Now he's acting like an idiot.

















Steve Bell

Oh yeah..... as I've wondered so many times before...

What is it about superstition and religion that drives people crazy?