I've been following the story about the latest sighting of the Loch Ness Monster with breathless anticipation.
You see I may not know much about most of the things I write about... But boy do I know Loch Ness. And I've seen the monster dozens of times....
The last time I saw him he was threatening to reduce his number of regular sightings unless the Tourist Board fed him more shortbread treats....and haggis. I mean did you really think haggis was HUMAN food?
Seriously though..... I do know Loch Ness REALLY well. My family home is about half an hour away. And every summer the routine with visitors to my parents house is always the same. My Dad takes them on a tour of the nearby Malt Whisky Trail. Ahem. My Mum and my sister take them shopping in Inverness ...the Paris of the Highlands. Not. To buy tartan stuff and ....um....shortbread. My older brother takes them to play golf or trout fishing. Damn.
And I get to take them to Loch Ness...where of course EVERYONE...especially the kiddies... wants to go. Great...
Not that it isn't a beautiful place. And Urquhart Castle is definitely worth visiting.
But I do spend a lot of time thinking about the scones in the visitors centre...mmm. Or staring out over the loch bored out of my mind. And I have seen some strange shapes in the water.
After seeing them so many times I believe it is a weird kind of wake phenomenom. Maybe it's the depth and shape of the loch, and the wind and the shadows, but even a duck swimming on the surface leaves a dark wake...that looks like something is submerged just behind it.
So I'm dubious about this latest sighting. Not just because the "amateur scientist" who shot it seems a little dubious himself.
He has freely admitted that he has filmed fairies, seen apparent alien black cats (ABCs, alien big cats, as they are often called because they are “out of place” or alien - not from outer space), taken electrical spectrograms of what he thinks are large electric eels in Lake Morar, and has a “sort of medical condition…for visualising a sort of frame from a Dream whilst being conscious.”
Uh oh....
But also because right now it's looking to me...and some scientists...like a swimming otter.
But then you see what you want to see. To show you what I mean.... I made a little video of a visit to Loch Ness two years ago.
It's not a very good one. For the full experience you need to go on a misty rainy day. But if you look carefully you can see some of the strange dark shapes, that I'm sure are responsible for most of the sightings...
So do I believe there is a Monster? Not really.....
Would I swim in the loch at night......as Sebastien on his first trip to Scotland suggested we should? Nope. I have an active imagination...and besides I hate toads.
But you can be sure of one thing....the next time I go I WILL be taking my camera.
Bookmakers William Hill are supplying up to 50,000 instant cameras to fans attending a Loch Ness pop festival next weekend.
"We are hoping the one million pound bounty will help to solve one of the great enigmas of modern times...."
Brilliant. That should bring out the half the NEDS in Glasgow....just for the cameras. As for the enigma...well as we say in Scotland. There's a daftie dobber born every minute....
And if not?
Well then poor old Nessie really DOES deserve a raise.....
3 comments:
Sometimes, the best way to examine a radical assertion is to assume that it is correct and examine the likely consequences. For example, proponents of the Loch Ness Monster assert that there is a surviving plesiosaur lurking in the murky depths of a Scottish lake. We are then drawn into endless discussion of distant wakes and grainy photos and claims of hoaxes, etc. But if you cut to the chase, so to speak, and grant the premise, where does that leave you? Plesiosaurs are air-breathing reptiles that have to daily consume massive amounts of fish to survive. There are essentially no fish in Loch Ness. Does it order out for pizza? Also, as an air breather, we would not have a surface sighting once or twice a decade, but hundreds of times a day. If you grant the premise of an air-breathing dinosaur the entire proposition becomes ridiculous, not on the basis of the evidence, but on the monumental lack of evidence supporting the idea.
Thanks for this posting Simon, you have reminded me ……….
Do you suppose that there is any connection between the Loch Ness Monster and the http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogopogo (Ogopogo from the Okanogan Lake in BC).
I hale from the OK valley in BC and remember that, as early as I can recall, every time we (the family ) drove along the lake, I kept my eyes peeled for a sighting of the Ogopogo --- NADA (I’ve not seen any fairies either!) – but will probably look for that guy until my last days, even though I don’t take that drive often anymore, and know full well that when I do scan lake OK, it is …….. out of youthful habit
Yes, taking your camera the next time you go to Scotland is a capital idea, especially if there is money in postcards for tourist, and failing that, some great pics of a scenic part of the globe. (one of the places I have not experienced yet, but is on my wish list)
Hi Nessie. Thanks for your comment and excellent summation of the scientific arguments against the presence of ANY large creature in the loch. I think it's important to remind people that the loch is practically barren so what would a poor monster feed on? But of course what good are sonar scans or rational arguments when people turn up at the loch expecting that just maybe they will see something. And that not only that they think they know what it looks like. Against the power of suggestion rational arguments don't stand a chance. But since it's good for the Scottish tourism industry I'm not complaining!!
Hi Sassy!!! It's funny you should mention the Ogopogo Monster because I was going to write about the Monster of Lake Memphremagog in Quebec's Eastern townships. The story is that a priest was given a live sturgeon for caviar....and he tied it by his tail to a pier in the lake...only to have it escape. Now sturgeons can grow to be enormous so I think maybe that monster and the Ogopogo one might have a better chance of being related than the one in Loch Ness.
As I told Nessie I think the power of suggestion plays a big part in these "monster" sightings. But I still love all these legends!! And I wouldn't swim in Lake Ogopogo either.... :)
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