Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Terrorist Hysteria and the Lessons of SARS

Ok ok. I know I said I was going to stay away from this alleged terrorist conspiracy story.Do my part to try to chillout the mass hysteria. Before we lose all our chicken feathers. Or start pecking each other apart.

But now even Antonia is under attack. And it's not a pretty sight. Something is terribly wrong.

Not only is she apologizing for going overboard (gasp) she's sending sweet kitty cards to that pitbull Christy Blatchford. Oh my God! Somebody has got to save her from herself!

I mean I'm glad she apologized for the Kristallnacht reference. Whatever Blatchford is, she isn't a Nazi. Although she did go overboard. But then so has just about everyone else. The media, the government, the police, the lawyers, Muslim community groups, and of course the crazy right-wing bloggers. Is Antonia trying to make everyone look bad by apologizing? Who does she think she is? The one-eyed woman in the kingdom of the blind?

Seriously though, far too much information has been leaked and hyped. Hyped by the government to try to impress the Americans. Hyped by the media to try to scare up readers and viewers. A few days ago some media outlet rented some vans and parked them near some of the alleged targets the suspects were planning to bomb. Imagine what the people who work there thought about that? And then there was the Globe scaring the shit out of the suits on Bay Street.

Like we had no idea that bombs and glass towers are a bad mix...

The problem with scaring people is that it usually backfires. The Americans now consider us a terrorist breeding ground. Question: How many American tourists do you think that's going to send our way this summer? Answer: just about as many as the SARS epidemic did. Remember that one? The one where we staged a big concert to remind people all over the world that we were SARS City. Woo hoo. Y'all come and visit us ya hear?

So they didn't. Surprise, surprise.
It's taken this city years to recover.

Now the same people who organized that concert are planning some kind of mega-show to tell the world that we're not afraid of living in a Terrorist Enclave. Huh? Is that dumb or what? How are we going to welcome the dozen or so Americans who dare to turn up --despite our high dollar? With one of these nifty suits?

And signs saying "Don't Worry. We're not afraid. So you shouldn't be either?" Mama Mia. Some vacation. If they wanted that they could have stayed in Amerika.

Hmmm ...... I think we should all take some deep breaths, or have lots of sex, or barbeque up a storm, or whatever Canadian thing it takes to chillout. Because one thing is for sure: if we keep this terrorist fever going, it's going to be a bummer of a summer. West Nile fever is bad enough.

As for those poor suits on Bay Street, who, thanks to the Globe, must be having all kinds of nightmares about flying glass (along with poor Antonia) I guess they can be excused it they start acting like these depraved suits in Britain.

In fact I almost wish they would. We couldn't buy THAT kind of publicity.

Talk about defying the terrorists. Banking and breakdancing in those shiny glass towers. Wow. How inspiring. And all that naked stuff wouldn't hurt either. Give this tightass city a whole new image. Sex and danger is such an intoxicating mix. Like doing it in the backseat of daddy's car.

After all the damage we've done to ourselves. If that doesn't bring back the tourists.

Nothing will....

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