Saturday, March 31, 2007

Chocolate Jesus and the War Against Theocracy
















Oh no! It looks as if they're going to be eating Chocolate Jesus sooner than they thought.

A planned Holy Week exhibition of a nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ was canceled Friday after Cardinal Edward Egan and other outraged Catholics complained.

How disappointing. I was hoping to fly down to New York next week, to see if I could make a bid for the chocolate dick. So after giving it a lick or two .....I could mail it to the Catholic thug Bill Donohue. And have him melt it in the right place....

“The Roger Smith Hotel is morally bankrupt. It is the goal of the Catholic League to make it financially bankrupt as well.....The Roger Smith Hotel will rue the day it sought to declare war on Christian sensibilities......”

Yikes! Holy Unvirgin Mary! I don't understand what the thug inquisitor is going on about. I mean when you think of Easter what comes to mind? Jesus...... or a chocolate egg?

And besides I thought Cosimo Cavallaro's rendition of Our Sweet Lord was pretty restrained and classy....when compared to some of his other work....

Like his porky classic Ham Bed....












That's Cosimo slicing the ham. He said that although he studied art in Italy, he rejected prosciutto because "it would have been pompous."

Wow! Isn't that Canadian? Although I am happy to report he didn't spare the mozzarela in his cheesy classic.. Hotel Room...












Mama mia! That's a lot of mozzarella....he shoulda called it Mouse Heaven....and pissed off the wingnuts again. I just hope Cosimo isn't too disappointed by the chocolate fiasco.

He should remember that Donohue is a crazy wingnut freak who should be locked up in a lunatic asylum ........or sealed up with the perverts in the Vatican.

Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular. It's not a secret, okay? And I'm not afraid to say it. ... Hollywood likes anal sex.

And that the wacko inquisitor has gone after other artists too...like the Broadway producers of Stairway to Heaven.

And the creators of South Park.

I call them the "secular supremacists," and they have it out against the 85 percent of the population who's Christian, because they don't like the idea that liberty means the right to do what you ought to do. They believe in license.

So liberty means the right to do what you ought to do...and where would we find that kind of liberty I wonder? Answer: in a theocracy.....like Iran.

So why should we be surprised that the same people who presume to tell us what we can watch or eat...should now be trying to tell gay teenagers who and when they can fuck.









"With legislation proposed by the government to raise the age of natural sex from its current 14 to 16, at the request of homosexual activists, Comartin proposed an amendment at the committee stage to “harmonize” the consent age for anal sex with that for vaginal sex; making it 16 for both."

Isn't that great? A 17-year-old can fuck a girlfriend in the vagina and it's ok. But if he fucks her or his boyfriend in the ass he's a criminal and could go to jail for ten years?

Woohoo! Something tells me there are going to be a lot of sexual outlaws out there.....gay...and straight.

But what are we going to do with the religious crazies of this world....who believe their voodoo gods should tell the rest of us what to do? What can we do to keep their cold clammy hands off our bodies...or keep their pointy noses out of our assholes?

Except maybe join the Blog Against Theocracy If they want a war let's give them one.

And relax with a little freedom song...to remind us what life is really all about.



Have a great weekend everyone!

And if you're down in New York, please give Chocolate Jesus...

A lick and a bite from me...

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Harry Houdini, Sherlock Holmes, and the Pope in Hell













Sometimes when I walk through Edinburgh late at night....past the old medical school, it's hard not to think of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and his creation Sherlock Holmes. It's still so much like their world, especially on a foggy night. That when you come across a lonely figure under a streetlight, you can almost see the Great Detective tapping out his pipe on the lamp post .

Instead of a junkie looking for a vein. Or a drunken yob having a smoke.

That's why I found this story so fascinating. The idea that Harry Houdini could have been murdered....



Some of Houdini's descendants, the authors of the book and some notable forensic pathologists have been attempting to get permission to exhume the body in order to search for evidence of poisoning

And that Sir Arthur could have done it.


At the time of his death, Houdini was embroiled in an acrimonious battle with Conan Doyle and other followers of Spirtualism, which held that human "mediums" could communicate with the dead.

Houdini, he wrote, would "get his just desserts very exactly meted out ... I think there is a general payday coming soon".


Wow! Can you believe that? And I thought we killed him.

Lying on a couch, he chatted with three students from McGill University. One of them, a ruddy six-footer, asked if it was true that Houdini could take the hardest punches to his stomach.

Hovering over Houdini, elbow bent, the student began forcibly punching him in the stomach....


Very ingenious Professor Moriarty....dispose of the crazy chain freak by putting poison in his padlock...and pin it on a dum Canuck.

But you know the weird thing is that all that "general payday coming" stuff that Conan Doyle was muttering darkly about? So is the Nazi Pope

"Christ came to tell us that he desires all of us in heaven and that hell, which isn't spoken about much in our time, exists and is eternal for those who close their hearts to his love...

he described hell as a state of existential abandonment, "the loneliness into which love can no longer reach."

Well that explains it doesn't it? Nobody said being a closet queen would be easy. But at least after all those lonely self loathing years he should find hell somewhat comforting....


















I mean where did he think he was going to end up anyway? In the gay part of heaven?

And what's going on in the Vatican anyway....or in Ratzinger's head? If the Nazi Pope gets any darker he'll turn into a vampire. And will be forced to hold 20-minute after midnight masses to give him time to clamber out of his gilded coffin, and into his red Prada slippers.

But then, of course, all religious fanatics have an infinite capacity for self delusion. If you don't believe me just check out the mad mullahs in Iran.

They seem to think they've scored some kind of propaganda victory by seizing the British sailors.

When all they're doing is making themselves even bigger targets. And of course.... sullying the honour of our women.

I mean isn't forcing that sailor girl to put on a head scarf the equivalent of parading a Muslim female prisoner around dressed only in a niqba and a bikini? And as for her saying that they trespassed....judging from the picture...some people will say anything for a smoke. If I was in her situation I certainly would...

But I'm sure our brave hostages will keep a stiff upper lip, and show those crazy mullahs what they're made of. And that they can go as long as they have to without their freedom ...as long as they don't have to go too long without their pork sausages, bacon rolls, or beer.

No I'm not worried about them.

I'm worried about Tony Blair. Once the poodle was just a fool....or a foodle. Now he's acting like an idiot.

















Steve Bell

Oh yeah..... as I've wondered so many times before...

What is it about superstition and religion that drives people crazy?

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Super Mario and the Autonomists












Uh oh....here come the klowns. Not just Super Mario and his army of hick Autonomists. But the ones in English Canada who think what happened last night is good news for the country as we know it.

When in fact it's the likely to be the second last nail in its coffin. With the last one being a Stephen Harper majority.

To understand that you first need to understand that Mario isn't a federalist commes les autres. And that his big night doesn't hurt Quebec nationalism..... it helps it.

".....Mr. Dumont and his ADQ have not signed nationalism's death notice; they have given it new life. The rest of Canada should consider itself forewarned."

Exactly. What would have happened if the Parti Quebecois had won last night, and had held another referendum? It would have been three strikes and you're out. Sovereignty would have been buried for a generation.

But Mario Dumont saved them from that. Now he's given Quebecers an option that most of them want......the status and power of a nation within Canada. If you want to know what that would look like all you have to do is read the Allaire Report, that he co-wrote with the ADQ's father figure Jean Allaire, back in January 1991.

"It would have left the Parliament of Canada with only five exclusive fields of jurisdiction: defence, tariffs, currency, management of the public debt, and equalization. Jurisdiction over Aboriginal peoples, foreign policy, fisheries, communications and the post office would be shared between the federal and provincial levels, while all other powers would be exclusively provincial...."

Now Mario wants to have a Quebec Constitution. And wants all who live in Quebec to have Quebec citizenship....and the Quebec government to have all those other 22 powers too.

Can you imagine what it's going to be like....with Charest being forced to act more like an autonomist ....and Mario Dumont looking over his shoulder egging him on. Or if he comes to power in the next Quebec election playing this guy...















Over and over again....

A few days ago at the University of Laval, Jacques Parizeau took aim at Stephen Harper's plan to buy votes in the province.....and at Dumont's autonomy platform.

He compared its aims to a gag by comedian Yvon Deschamps that Quebecers want an independent Quebec in a united Canada.
"It was a joke," Parizeau pointed out.


That got a big laugh......although it remains to be seen how funny English Canada will find it.....

But Parizeau conveniently forgot to mention two things:

One....that autonomy really is what Quebecers want. They don't like being forced to choose between federalism or sovereignty. They'd rather go for something in between: a strong almost independent Quebec in a united but weak Canada. And now thanks to Super Mario and Stephen Harper they can.

But the other thing Parizeau also forgot to mention is..... what happens if the Autonomists demand all these new powers and don't get them?

To find the answer to that one all you have to do is look up the Allaire Report....and the answer is.......(drum roll) ..... hold a referendum on sovereignty.

Yup. It always gets back to that doesn't it? Bottom line: Super Mario isn't a federalist.

"I hope that's not how they perceive me," Dumont told a news conference a day after his party won a staggering 41 seats in the provincial election.

"That would be a mistake."

Stephen Harper doesn't know what he's talking about. And if Dumont ever needs to hold a referendum to get what he wants....he will.

But then Quebecers know what kind of almost country they want to live in. More than sixty per cent of them voted last night for either autonomy or sovereignty.

The question is...as ever....

What kind of country does the rest of Canada want to be?

Oh yeah I know that sounds really boring...but just remember even if you feel you're on a treadmill going nowhere.

You can always have fun...



And get accustomed to the feeling...

Of having your country pulled out from under you....

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Poisoning my Dog and Other Good News
















Oh boy what a week to forget. First of all I'm in a panic thinking that I might have poisoned my dog. By feeding Kerouac a few pouches of yummy doggy stuff... from this Canadian pet food company.

The company and investigators at the U.S. Food and Drug Administration had been focusing on wheat gluten, a source of protein in the pet food. While the ingredient does not cause kidney failure, it could be contaminated by heavy metals, mould toxins or poison, health officials said....ABC News reported the chemical was on wheat imported from China....

Isn't capitalism amazing? We live in one of the grain baskets of the world. But somehow it's cheaper to bring it all the way from China...than ship it from Saskatchewan. And don't you love the fact that ALL the pet food in the world seems to come from ONE company. So much for competition....

The good news? I only bought a couple of packets of the yummy stuff to pour on his dull but healthy food pellets...because sometimes he's finicky and won't eat them. But after two days of worrying myself sick ......Farmboy suddenly remembered that Kerouac hadn't eaten the yummy stuff either. Turned up his nose at it. Held out for Swiss Chalet. So now he's not finicky...just prudent.

Then there was the disgusting Conservative Bribe-a-Budget. That spewed billions of dollars into the ranks of the suburban small town voters the Cons need the most to win a majority. While completely ignoring the people who needed help the most.

The beautiful but suffering First Nations of Canada....




Let me get this straight....First we steal their land or cheat them out of it. Then we set up a reserve system that is so successful the Boers in South Africa copy it to set up Apartheid.

Then we send generations of children to residential schools...to wipe out their identity...and physically and sexually abuse them.

We owe them so much. But they remain the most oppressed....the poorest of the poorest of Canadians.... with the worst health and social problems. And out of all those billions the Cons couldn't find anything for them?

What a disgrace. What inhuman monsters. I hope it's a really hot summer....

Then of course there is the prospect of having to spend the next four years in exile.

As I said it wasn't a great week....... although there was some good news...

For one thing someone finally called Conrad Black a thief....and wasn't sued.

And although Connie couldn't be there in his gorgeous red evening gown....and vote against us...our side took the House of Lords.







And the best thing is 23 bishops didn't turn up to vote. So our victory was even bigger.Which made the crazy wingnuts even crazier.

"The time is fast approaching when Christianity will be openly disavowed, in language as in fact it is already supposed to have disappeared from the conduct of men: when to believe will be deemed the indication of a feeble mind and contracted understanding."

Exactly I couldn't have said it better myself...that time can't come soon enough.

And then there was that amazing story from Jamaica. It turns out that while gay people there are routinely attacked and murdered, if you're a gay cop...you're not only safe...you're highly regarded.

"We have quite a large number of them (gays and lesbians) in the force but they are not openly acknowledged. They are still in the closet... Those who we know are treated with a great level of respect as they themselves are respectful, refined and intelligent, their level of intelligence far outshines persons considered to be normal...."

Hmmm...so now you know. If you're a gay person....or a cricket coach.... and you absolutely have to go to Jamaica...whatever you do... don't check into a hotel. Try staying at a police station. It's safer and....um...gayer.

Battyboy that one baby..are we making progress or what?

Although, of course, there are always some setbacks

But even this one seems to have a silver lining. One...because any pancake house that bans lesbians must have a death wish.

And two...we can make them ourselves..

Musically...




Oh....and if you're wondering about the lemon juice it's a Scottish thing...although I like mine with dulce de leche...I still voted for the video And of course for Jay Brannan...

But since Spring has sprung...and it's pouring with rain...and I don't have to worry about Kerouac anymore...I'm thinking about other sweet things...



















Like....um.... sleeping....a lot.

Enjoy freedom while you still have it...

Have a great weekend everyone!



Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Stephen Harper and the Flying Suppository
















Gasp. Gasp. What a stench. It looks like Great Fat Leader had a steaming dump in the House of Commons. Again.

"I can understand the passion that the leader of the Opposition and members of his party feel for the Taliban prisoners," Harper said. "I just wish occasionally they would show the same passion for Canadian soldiers."

Wow! What a turd. I know we live in a vulgar world....where people place bets on whether Heather Mills' artificial leg will fly off.

But would one of his flunkies please summon up the courage to remind Great Fatso and wouldbe Big Bubbah, that we live in Canada not Amerika? And we don't play dirty politics here ...like the White House criminals do. Before the monstrous chickenhawk flies off...the deep end.

I mean first he accuses Paul Martin of supporting child porn. Then he accuses Jack Layton of being a Taliban stooge. Then he smears a Sikh Liberal MP by suggesting he's trying to protect terrorists...in his family.Then he tries to rig the courts just like George Bush did. And when decent Canadians object ....he accuses them of coddling criminals and bashing the police.

And now he's accusing the opposition of being traitors...for standing up for the Geneva Convention.....the honour of our army. And, of course, what's left of our reputation abroad.

"It's clear that this is a prime minister who thinks that no attack is beneath him, no shot is too cheap and no smear is too unbecoming..."

Shame on him! You know I'd be disgusted and down on all fours vomiting..... if I wasn't sp delighted. You see I love it when Great Leader's mask falls off. It's such a...revealing...and ugly sight.

And besides it warms my heart to know that he must be suffering. Terribly. Having to play Bojangles in this Liberal Minstrel Show. Can you imagine how hard it must be for Stephen Harper to act like a Liberal because he knows it's the only way he can hope to fool Canadians into giving him a majority? Talk about the Death of the Right....Call Dick Cheney's embalmer.

Or just ask this Blogging Tory.... Ouch. Who's a traitor now? Mwahahaha!!

And as if that wasn't enough ideological pain... Great Leader has these all these other problems preying on his deranged mind. Like how to kill his government and trigger an election, without making it look like suicide.

How to make his gangster-like bribe to Quebecers look like a triumph rather than a disaster.

And above all how to do all this before these Frenchies get into trouble in Afghanistan....




Ooops....crisse de tabarnac...it's one thing when the flying suppository doesn't fly. And quite another when it flies up Great Fat Leader's ass....

That's why he wants an election now. Before French Canadian soldiers start coming home in boxes. And all the bribes in the world won't stop Quebecers from saying merci....thanks for the cash and ......er......BUH bye...

So all the opposition has to do really, is avoid giving Harper ANY excuse to call an election.... Which will drive him nuts.... especially now...and make him say even crazier things....















And then when an election finally comes....all the Canadian Resistance/Opposition has to do is string all those crazy clips together....play them for Canadians over and over again....and ask the Big Question:

Would anyone in their right mind trust this crazy yankee-acting monster with a majority?

I'm sure the answer will be no. I might not bet on whether Heather Mills' leg will fly off. But I would bet on that. You see even in this vulgar world some things are for sure.

Give Stephen Harper enough time....and enough rope....and a big enough suppository to sit on. And he'll fuck AND hang himself...

On the other hand if the opposition doesn't play for time...and the suppository doesn't fly...and Canadians are even dummer than I feared they were.....then get ready to bend over people.

Coz we'll be the ones who get fucked...

Stephen Harper's Hooker Budget















I've got to hand it to Stephen Harper. He really will do anything to seduce Canadians into giving him a majority. Just like a desperate hooker will...when she runs out of crack.

But then what can you say about a country where the neocons act like big spending Liberals? The Liberals act like tax cutting neocons.

The NDP has to pretend it really wanted the government to fall. The Bloc has to appear satisfied and disappointed at the same time.

While Jean Charest uses the fiscal balancing dough to offer Quebecers a tax cut.... like the one I'm NOT going to get.

Answer: not much. What a fucking mess. Spring can't come soon enough.

But then the whole thing is a fraud.

".....the Budget continues a schedule of deep corporate tax cuts combined with subsidies for the oil sands. Its basic direction, like previous Liberal and Conservative federal budgets, is to reduce the size of government and hence its capacity to serve working people. An ever smaller share of Canada’s economic resources will be devoted to making important public investments and providing crucial services to individuals, families, and communities..."

It's just a poison pill disguised as a candy. A plan to buy votes in corporate Canada, Toronto's suburbs, and of course Quebec.

And the thing that worries me the most...is that it just might work. Canadians might let themselves be seduced by Stephen Harper into giving him the majority he so desperately craves. Only to regret it the morning after.

If you want to know how that might feel, all you have to do is check out this ad from the British Labour Party warning people about the dangers of having a fling with a Conservative...


h/t A BCer in Toronto

As I see it....the message is clear. If you let yourself be fooled into having a one-night stand with a neo-con fanatic who is pretending to be a Liberal...and comes from the uber right-wing province of Alberta.

Don't be surprised if you wake up the next morning...

With a really bad case of the clap......

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Horror of Iraq...Through the Eyes of Children

Four years after Shock and Awe...after all that pain and all that horror...George Bush still doesn't get it. Still thinks that the U.S. can win. Still clings to the Big Lie.

"It can be tempting to look at the challenges in Iraq and conclude our best option is to pack up and go home. That may be satisfying in the short run, but I believe the consequences for American security would be devastating..."

When is dumb dumb? When is criminal criminal?

I could go on and on about that....but I already did that last year.

So this year I thought I would do something different. By telling the simple story of the war in three short videos. Through the eyes of Iraqi children.....













Once upon a time American soldiers invaded Iraq. Many Iraqi children were glad to see them. They loved their tanks, and their chocolate, and their chewing gum.

But soon the cheers turned to tears. As the soldiers acted like conquerors instead of liberators...



And then the tears turned to jeers...when instead of helping the kids...they tortured them...



Until at last even the children turned against them....




But of course it wasn't funny. Because then everybody turned on everybody... and because George Bush didn't know the difference between the Sunni and the Shia.

And ignored the lessons of history.

Everybody lost the war....the soldiers and the children...















The End...of the beginning...

Because when you don't learn from your mistakes.

You really are condemned to repeat them...

Monday, March 19, 2007

Blogging Tories, the Gay Army, and Elton's Song

Yikes! I see my last post about hypocrisy and homophobia in the so-called progressive blogosphere was read by quite a few people...by my humble standards. But only elicited two comments. One from a straight guy who supported what I said. And one from a gay guy who didn't.

He accused me of implying that gay people were more discriminated against in Canada then any other group. But actually I wasn't implying it...I was saying it outright. Gay people are the only group in Canada who it's still socially acceptable to hate. And I was only speaking up for all those bullied gay kids who can't. What a funny world.

And a hypocritical one too...take the Blogging Tories. They made hay over the McClellan Affair. But when one of their bloggers calls for gay people to be murdered.

Begin writing essays calling for the cleansing and purification of society via the mass murder of homosexuals. Distribute videos on the website showing the actual murders of homosexuals. Circulate instructions on how to bomb gay bath houses in San Francisco.

Nobody says anything...nobody at all....see what I mean?

It's stuff like that that makes me wonder whether I should give up blogging...and join Larry Kramer's New Gay Army.









".....I also know that any organization that we start now must be an army. You have resisted this word in the past. Perhaps now that the man in charge of America’s army is calling you immoral you won’t resist it army anymore. We must field an organized army with elected leaders and a chain of command. It must be a gay army with gay leaders fighting for gay people under a gay flag....

Hmmm....I don't know if I could join an army like that. But at least grumpy old Larry got this right...

We do not seem to realize that the more we become visible, the more that more and more of us come out of the closet, the more vulnerable we become to the more and more increasingly visible hate against us. In other words, the more they see us, the more they hate us.

Any gay person who can't figure that out is living in a fool's paradise.....like so many in this country are. They won't put our gay cause or even our gay kids first. They think they've got it good...so it must be good for everyone.

They won't challenge their so-called progressive friends....or fight the battles that need to be fought right here in Canada...because they don't want to rock the boat. They want to be accepted and oh so respectable....even as our enemies attack us...even as gay kids die. Or have their lives broken...

I realize it's just another manifestation of self loathing...so I can't really blame them. But I must admit I was very discouraged and depressed. Until this story made me smile.

"Church leaders want Sir Elton John banned from Tobago - in case he turns the locals gay. He is due to headline the Plymouth jazz festival there next month. But Philip Isaac, the Archdeacon of Trinidad and Tobago, believes the singer could tempt the islanders into gay ways..."

Wow isn't that something? When I was a teenager Elton John used to make me want to turn straight. What a funny world.


I still don't like his music....but I've changed my mind about him ever since he called for religion to be banned.

And this song....especially tonight...seems kinda right ...



This video for "Elton's Song" was never released until recently...because I guess someone thought it was too gay. The lyrics were written by singer songwriter Tom Robinson. He apparently once wrote a song called "Glad to be Gay."

Then married a woman. What a funny world...

But it does remind me what it's all about.... what it was always about... and always will be.


The love that dared speak its name....and will never take second place to any other cause as long as I'm alive.

Tonight I'm sad.

Tomorrow I fight...

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Jack Layton and the Great Pretenders
















I'm glad to see Jack Layton has surfaced again. I must admit I'm relieved. I was afraid he had gone back to his old job....selling useless stuff...for dummies. Or was trapped in the basement of the House of Monkeys propping up Great Fat Leader's neocon government... and catching his farts.

There was a brief Jack and Olivia sighting. But it didn't really count....because nobody noticed.

".....the assembled media horde in its entirety included the following: one (1) TV cameraman; one (1) girl from a local radio station; and one (1) reporter from a national magazine.....

These sorts of orchestrated events are awkward at the best of times. But there is perhaps nothing more uncomfortable than watching a man of conviction plead a seemingly important message to an audience of three ....."

Whattsamatta with the dumbo media? Don't they recognize a train wreck when they see one?

But now Jack is back...and with a whole bunch of pre-election ads.

Hmmm.....I don't think they are as good as that.... I think Robert is just suffering from post traumatic purge syndrome...and who can blame him? Although he seems to be recovering... nicely.

But at least Jack's ads are positive...unlike the scummy neocon ones. At least he's selling his own stuff now. And at least Jack is Jack.


Which is more than I can say for Stephen Harper and Stephane Dion who seem to be playing some kind of bizarre game....where each pretends to be the other.

On the one hand you have Great Fat leader pretending to be an environmentalist instead of an oil pimp and climate change denier.

Plodding through one wood after the other, trying to convince Canadians he's really a moderate. So he can fool people into giving him a majority....and then eat them alive.

A charming little pantomime where Harper gets to play the big bad wolf...and dum Canadians get to play Little Red Riding Hood.










You know.... now that the census has told us how many people live in this country.... if Harper ever gets a majority we should be able to calculate the exact number of crazies and dummies down to the very last loser.

Which reminds me...if you think Stephen Harper's performance as a Dion-like eco-geek is outrageous. Get ready for the nerd Dion's unlikely role as a Harper-like crime fighter.














Oh I don't know....maybe if they chubbed the wacky professor up a bit.....gave him a bolo hat ...a weird mustache and a bow tie... and taught him English....he could play Hercule Poirot. And at least try to solve the mystery of who killed the Liberals...and who got the dough?

But you know what I mean...what kind of an upside down world do we live in? Where image is everything...and nothing is what it appears to be. And even the right-wing freakoids at Fox News don't know what to do with the neocon bitch goddess Ann Coulter...




Will it work? Maybe. Anything is possible in the age of the Great Pretenders.

If Stephen Harper can pretend to be a born-again environmentalist, and Stephane Dion can pretend to be a born-again crime fighter. Then Ann Coulter can pretend to be a woman. And Jack can just be Jack...instead of a take no prisoners neocon giant killer.

Too fucking bad....

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The General and his Gay Soldiers

















So the Pentagon's top General thinks it's still a good idea to kick gay soldiers out of the U.S. military...and force tens of thousands of other gay soldiers to fight for their country...while hiding who they are and who they love.

And not only that....he insults them as well.... by publicly declaring that homosexuality is immoral.

"As an individual, I would not want (acceptance of gay behavior) to be our policy, just like I would not want it to be our policy that if we were to find out that so-and-so was sleeping with somebody else's wife, that we would just look the other way, which we do not. We prosecute that kind of immoral behavior...."

As if homosexuality was just a behaviour..... instead of an orientation. As if they didn't need all the good soldiers they can get. So they don't have to recruit gang members, racists and other criminals.

As if the General wasn't acting just like the religious fanatics his soldiers are fighting against.

Dave at the Galloping Beaver has written a good post about the absurdity of it all.

But my reaction is more personal. I know some gay American soldiers, including one who is presently fighting in one of the most dangerous parts of Iraq. So I know that gay soldiers can be just as good and brave as any other soldiers. And sometimes even braver...because some of them try so hard to be better than the others...so they can earn the respect they crave...and be treated as equals by the buddies they fight and die with.

That kind of devotion to duty is not something I approve of....not in a crazy war like Iraq....but I understand where they are coming from.

I also know how lonely gay soldiers can feel when they must say goodbye to their lovers and partners at home...instead of at the airport.The straight soldiers get to hug and kiss their girl friends and wives. But the gay soldiers can't show their feelings, and must walk to the gate alone.







I also know how hard it is after returning from some hellish patrol not to be able to share your true feelings in an e-mail or a phone call home. Because your e-mails and phone calls are screened. So you can't even tell the person you love how much you love them. Even though you could be killed the next day.

You've got to love your country a lot and really love being a soldier .... to fight for an army that treats you like that.

Fortunately more and more gay soldiers and their supporters are challenging the ban. And joining forces to try to overturn it. You can read about that struggle here and here.

It's a noble cause....I wish I could be as restrained and dignified as they are. But I can't. It just makes me so angry. And I'm so sick of homophobes spewing their vomit all over us...in the name of crazy religion.

I just wish I could pack all of these chickenhawk bigots into the back of a humvee, and send them for a little spin though hell ...the kind my soldier friend in Iraq takes practically every day...




Except I would hope that the bigots riding in the humvee....and the religious fanatics who set off the IED...wouldn't be so lucky...

Hope that because of all the gay lives they've destroyed...they would, fittingly enough, be blown to smithereens. Or at the very least....drown in their own blood....

Hey gay soldier boy! Semper Fidelis....hero idiot...

Wouldn't that be a beautiful day?

Monday, March 12, 2007

Can Blogging Really Kill You...As Well as Drive You Crazy?

Wow!!! What a great time to be a blogger in Canada. First I find out that a long winter of blogging can drive you crazy....and now I find out it can kill you.

But let's start with the crazy part first....you know the scene where the progressive blogosphere ....on the eve of a critical election.....is torn apart by the pressing question of ....who is an anti-semite.... and when is an apology an apology?

Huh? I realize there is a petition. But I really have to wonder whether those well intentioned .....but utterly humourless ProgBlog Purgers ....will settle for the Blaghster doing anything less than this....




I mean check out the language....

"I'm not as hard on this apology as Dawg is.. that he made an attempt at one is an event of itself. (I could be cynical saying he probably got a push of encouragement to do so from the polling results at the Blogging Dippers vote.. but I'm going to be charitable). However, that will not change or reverse the decision that was imposed on him..."


Yikes! Imposed on him....like a prison sentence or fifty lashes..... Is that inquisitor biased or what? Is that a blogging roll or a blogging church? And who is next?

Hmmm....Once again I'm with Robert on this one.

Make no mistake however, terrorizing people into silence because they might face some penalty is also an assault on freedom of speech and when people begin to feel they are no longer free to speak, then they no longer are.

I don't believe anyone should be banned for what they write, unless they are calling for people to be killed or stuff like that. I get attacked all the time by homophobes...who sometimes call me the foulest names... and I'm quite sure would cheer wildly if they ever rounded me up. I hate some of them with a passion. But I don't want them banned. I'd rather give them enough rope to hang themselves. Or just fight back....with every word in my arsenal.

Which sometimes...coz I can cuss in English, French and Scottish....isn't very nice either...

So I'd hate to have a tribunal of pompous purgers sitting around going through every word I wrote in anger or sorrow....or trolling through my comments....to decide whether I was progressive enough...or boring enough...to qualify as a serious blogger. A member in good standing of a blogroll the MSM can mention because it's "safe" and "respectable" enough...sanitized and purged to eliminate the "lunatic fringe." Instead of understanding that blogging is all about.... freedom from authority....and the real stuff of life.

Which reminds me....not only can it drive you crazy...apparently it can actually kill you.

Staying chained to your desk might place you at greater risk of potentially fatal blood clots in the legs, researchers in New Zealand say.

The study suggested that people develop clots in their legs from sitting three to four hours at a time.....It wasn't common, but it was more common than we thought....

Uh oh....I guess we bloggers face some hard choices. Give it up before blogging kills us or drives us crazy. Or take two aspirins a day. One for the legs...and the other for the pain in the ass. Or two codeine tablets to deal with the boredom.

Or learn how to blog on a treadmill...which would at least give us the illusion that we're going somewhere...and keep us alive. But wouldn't change our biggest problem.

The Blogging Tories are united and gearing up for an election.





















And too many progressive bloggers aren't.....



















That's why. If the left in this country doesn't get its act together ...and stop fighting itself...and find common ground to fight the common enemy.

It won't have to worry about blogging killing it or driving it crazy...

It will already be crazy...and sooner rather than later..

It will kill itself...

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Ann Coulter and the Gay Porn Star













Holy Donkey Kong !!! It looks as if the right-wing bitch goddess Ann Coulter has been hanging out with a gay porn star...with an 11-inch dick.

Sanchez has had a lengthy career in gay porn, working under the names Rod Major and Pierre LaBranche, starring in such art films as Jawbreaker, Donkey Dick, and Glory Holes Of Fame 3, where his "11-inch uncut monster cock" earned him a devoted following.

Uh oh....Jawbreaker....Donkey Dick....and Glory Holes of Fame 3 ?? I've never seen those neocon circuit movies....but they sound really.....um....painful. Oh poor Annie... that must really hurt. First this ....then that. Ouch!

Of course....I can't be sure of who is fucking who. Is he doing her? Or is she/he doing him?

But what I do know is that the skank's little right-wing groupies...must be really really jealous.

And for the record, because some have taken the time to email me and ask (along with calling Ann Coulter a slut and a Nazi), yes, I fully support Ann Coulter, I like her even more than I did before, I will keep her column here, and all of you who don’t like it can take a hike.

Awww....isn't that touching? The nasty little yankee blowing homophobe still loves the Nazi slut.

But waddya expect from a blog little Joel calls "Conservative ---with bite."

I think it's time Joel got something he can bite on instead.

And the best thing about that is that when he gets tired of biting it.

Him and his fellow homophobe freaks at that shitty little blog...can also sit on it as well.

Calling people faggots is not a schoolyard joke.

But if you can call a fag a fag.

You can call a bitch a bigot....

Friday, March 09, 2007

Stephen Harper and the Christian Planet Burners

















Call it The Harper Code....for weeks I've been working away on a secret project....trying to determine whether Stephen Harper really is the born again environmentalist /reformed ex-climate change denier he now claims to be.

Or a secret religious fanatic, who like so many other Christian religious fanatics these days, couldn't care less if the planet burns....

Like the James Cameron documentary that proved that Jesus didn't fly to heaven, my search for a red monster behind the green mask, was a weird and creepy journey.

Although not as weird and creepy as having a blind woman find the tomb of Jesus and his family under a slab of concrete in the back yard of a condo. Nothing could beat that.

But it was frustrating. There were small clues everywhere....but the smoking gun eluded me. But now at last I think I've found it.

But let me start at the beginning....I first got interested in Stephen Harper's religious views when I read an awesome story that exposed his hidden socon agenda...and revealed how, behind the scenes, his government was crawling with crazy religious extremists. And Christian planet burners.

It's a deeply disturbing report that looks at Harper's dark night of the soul. How he was driven by his demons...or the voices in his head... to join a faith healing church that believes that the end of the world is imminent. How he believes that theocons not neocons are the future of the Conservative movement. And why he wants a majority so badly...so he can turn Canada into a brutish police state theocracy.

Three years ago, in a speech to the annual Conservative think-fest, Civitas, he outlined plans for a broad new party coalition that would ensure a lasting hold on power. The only route, he argued, was to focus not on the tired wish list of economic conservatives or “neo-cons,” as they’d become known, but on what he called “theo-cons” those social conservatives who care passionately about hot-button issues that turn on family, crime, and defence.

Family. Crime. Defence. Sound familiar?

But I already knew that....what interested me the most was what Marci McDonald had to say about the porker homophobe Charles McVety....






Harper's buddy buddy. The socon leader he drafted to sell his fraudulent childcare program. The man who bragged he can get Harper on the phone anytime in less than two minutes. Faster than any Tory MP.

The crazy religious extremist, who I was stunned to discover, believes that saving the planet isn't just a waste of time. It's a mortal sin ......because it's delaying the Battle of Gog and Magog ....and the return of the so-called "Messiah."

For Charles McVety, any mention of the environmental movement sparks a tirade against the 1992 Earth Summit in Rio de Janeiro. “The Bible talks about a false religion and one-world government, and what we have developed is exactly that,” McVety rages. “The false religion is the worship of Mother Earth I call them earthies!” He dismisses Rio’s Earth Charter as “that pagan document.”

I thought that was pretty bizarre. But I also thought that only a homophobe like McVety could be that crazy.

But then I started hearing more and more of that planet burning stuff. And then last week the Nazi Pope joined the anti-earth movement, By praising a lunatic Cardinal who believes the Antichrist is a peace maker....and an ecologist.

Citing the Russian mystic Vladimir Sergeyevich Solovyov’s work Three Dialogues on War, Progress and the End of History, Cardinal Biffi said “the Antichrist presents himself as pacifist, ecologist and ecumenist.”

It was then that I realized how serious the threat really was. That it wasn't a series of isolated incidents...it was a disturbing trend. That in its dying convulsions ...crazy religion was setting its sights on the planet itself. Hoping no doubt that the more the earth burns.... and the more desperate people become...the more they'll believe in their ju ju gods.

And then came the smoking gun....

In the form of a letter signed by a number of big name evangelicals in the U.S. including the powerful wingnut homophobe James Dobson...from Focus on the Family

"(Environmentalists) are using the global warming controversy to shift the emphasis away from the great moral issues of our time, notably the sanctity of human life, the integrity of marriage and the teaching of sexual abstinence and morality to our children.”

Wow!! Can you believe that? Teaching people not to have sex is more important than saving the planet. I didn't know whether to laugh or wack off.


But then suddenly I was reminded of something....of how Stephen Harper once appointed the former President of Focus on the Family (Canada) to be Environment Minister Rona Ambrose's Chief of Staff.

And how Lucienne Robillard once asked a question about Darrel Reid...

Liberal MP Lucienne Robillard told the House that Reid had also headed an unnamed organization that disputed the science of climate change.

Ambrose did not respond to the charge, but instead chose to recite what she said were failures in past Liberal environmental policy.

That has never been answered.

A burning question I think Stephen Harper, born again environmentalist, should now be asked to answer....





Like did he know that appointing Darrel Reid to tell the village idiot Rona Ambrose how to take care of the planet....was like asking a fox to take care of the chickens?

Or did he know that Reid was a climate change denier? If not, why not ?And didn't his buddy McVety warn him? Or phone him?

And if so....did he let his religious convictions, cloud his political judgement? What was he thinking about? And what might he do if he ever gets a majority?

And finally.... now that crazy religion is trying to speed up the destruction of the planet, while decent Canadians fight to save it, will he please make it really clear whose side he is really on?

I know the dumbo media in this country would rather believe that Harper is just a cynical neocon who is using the religious wingnuts....like Karl Rove and Chimp Bush did. And maybe Harper really is just a power hungry nerd, who likes to surround himself with soldiers and cops...and pretend he's Mr President ...in his little dressup world.

But what if he isn't? What if he is fooling Canadians into thinking he really has changed his views about climate change.... and gets the majority he and his theocon fanatics so desperately want?

By the time Canadians realize what a terrible mistake they have made, it will be too late to do anything about it for four long years. The green mask will have fallen to reveal the red monster beneath. And all will be lost.

If we don't ask the questions that need to be asked, and have never been answered. And ask them now.

We may never get another chance...

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

The Homophobe Bottom Feeder and the Celtic Curse

Groan...I'm back....sort of...I think.... You know the other day, some homophobe commenter named Gobifish attacked my last post about bullied gay kids. And ended his lunatic diatribe by saying:

"But then again he (Simon) probably prefers to spend most of his time on his stomach if you catch my drift...."

I responded in kind by telling the fish to suck my cock....at least in his fondest dreams. Or even better..... bite a juicy worm on a HOOK.

But actually the bottom feeder Gobifish was only half wrong. I have spent the last few days feeling totally FUCKED. Except that I was lying on my back ...after a double whammy that began in a place I know all too well.

The Oncology and Haematology clinic of the Toronto East General Hospital....





It's a quiet peaceful place. All you hear are the voices of the four or five nurses moving around the clinic. And the beeping machines pumping chemo chemicals into the arms of cancer patients.

But I don't go there about every two months for that. I go there to BLEED.

Ever since I arrived in Toronto I have been treated at that clinic for a disorder that although it's very common in Canada ....and potentially fatal....is still tragically unknown.

Hereditary Hemochromatosis (HHC) is the most common genetic disorder affecting Canadians. It is a crippling, potentially fatal condition caused by a defect of iron metabolism that leads to iron overload in vital organs, joints and tissues. The complications caused by the disorder are preventable if a diagnosis is made before the excess iron causes irreversible damage, and effective treatment exists.

But sometimes the diagnosis is delayed because some doctors miss the early symptoms of what is sometimes known as the Celtic Curse...because it's particularly common in people of Irish and Scottish descent. Although my Scottish dad's descendants came from Normandy. And my mum's English...

One in nine people of mostly Northern European descent are carriers of the most common type of HHC and 1 in 300 are estimated to have two copies of the gene that puts them at risk for iron overload. Up until recently, medical professionals were taught this was an extremely rare disorder, so your doctor may not be aware of it.

The treatment is to remove a certain amount of blood, slightly more than they extract at a Red Cross Blood Donor Clinic .The body then uses the iron stored in the organs to build the new red blood cells.












When I started I was going every three weeks. Soon I hope it will be every three or four months...for the rest of my life. I never will like needles. I hate them. I don't know how junkies do it. But it's a small price to pay for your health.

And besides I love my nurses....and meeting so many cancer patients in such a place....kids with leukemia ....women with breast cancer...old men with their grandkids by their side.....and becoming friends over the last few years ...and losing some of them...and watching some of them win the biggest battle of their lives..has taught me what real courage is....and I hope .... made me braver and more human.

Although not smarter I'm afraid....For the last few sessions the doctors have been trying to determine how low they can get my iron levels without making me anemic. So I really should have known better than to go over to the gym that evening with S├ębastien to watch him do stuff like this...


















And then start fooling around on an ultra high tech exercise bike..... Only to make it about one third up the first hill on the little screen...faint .... and crash to the ground with a sickening thud.

S├ębastien had to carry me back to the bunker in his arms. Which was REALLY embarrassing. But also really NICE. Only to wake up the next morning with the mother of all head colds. That's what happens when you have to visit hospitals....

Anyway...I'm still a little groggy...but I'm feeling a lot better...At least I know that I won't have to go back for a while.

So tonight I want to end by urging ALL Canadians..even those who hate me...the ones who fall into one of the high risk groups...or anyone suffering from the symptoms of hemochromatosis...to check with their family doctors.

And ask to be tested if there is any doubt. And not to wait but do it as soon as they can. Because time is the enemy.

And life is too precious to waste...