Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Stephen Harper and the Flying Suppository
Gasp. Gasp. What a stench. It looks like Great Fat Leader had a steaming dump in the House of Commons. Again.
"I can understand the passion that the leader of the Opposition and members of his party feel for the Taliban prisoners," Harper said. "I just wish occasionally they would show the same passion for Canadian soldiers."
Wow! What a turd. I know we live in a vulgar world....where people place bets on whether Heather Mills' artificial leg will fly off.
But would one of his flunkies please summon up the courage to remind Great Fatso and wouldbe Big Bubbah, that we live in Canada not Amerika? And we don't play dirty politics here ...like the White House criminals do. Before the monstrous chickenhawk flies off...the deep end.
I mean first he accuses Paul Martin of supporting child porn. Then he accuses Jack Layton of being a Taliban stooge. Then he smears a Sikh Liberal MP by suggesting he's trying to protect terrorists...in his family.Then he tries to rig the courts just like George Bush did. And when decent Canadians object ....he accuses them of coddling criminals and bashing the police.
And now he's accusing the opposition of being traitors...for standing up for the Geneva Convention.....the honour of our army. And, of course, what's left of our reputation abroad.
"It's clear that this is a prime minister who thinks that no attack is beneath him, no shot is too cheap and no smear is too unbecoming..."
Shame on him! You know I'd be disgusted and down on all fours vomiting..... if I wasn't sp delighted. You see I love it when Great Leader's mask falls off. It's such a...revealing...and ugly sight.
And besides it warms my heart to know that he must be suffering. Terribly. Having to play Bojangles in this Liberal Minstrel Show. Can you imagine how hard it must be for Stephen Harper to act like a Liberal because he knows it's the only way he can hope to fool Canadians into giving him a majority? Talk about the Death of the Right....Call Dick Cheney's embalmer.
Or just ask this Blogging Tory.... Ouch. Who's a traitor now? Mwahahaha!!
And as if that wasn't enough ideological pain... Great Leader has these all these other problems preying on his deranged mind. Like how to kill his government and trigger an election, without making it look like suicide.
How to make his gangster-like bribe to Quebecers look like a triumph rather than a disaster.
And above all how to do all this before these Frenchies get into trouble in Afghanistan....
Ooops....crisse de tabarnac...it's one thing when the flying suppository doesn't fly. And quite another when it flies up Great Fat Leader's ass....
That's why he wants an election now. Before French Canadian soldiers start coming home in boxes. And all the bribes in the world won't stop Quebecers from saying merci....thanks for the cash and ......er......BUH bye...
So all the opposition has to do really, is avoid giving Harper ANY excuse to call an election.... Which will drive him nuts.... especially now...and make him say even crazier things....
And then when an election finally comes....all the Canadian Resistance/Opposition has to do is string all those crazy clips together....play them for Canadians over and over again....and ask the Big Question:
Would anyone in their right mind trust this crazy yankee-acting monster with a majority?
I'm sure the answer will be no. I might not bet on whether Heather Mills' leg will fly off. But I would bet on that. You see even in this vulgar world some things are for sure.
Give Stephen Harper enough time....and enough rope....and a big enough suppository to sit on. And he'll fuck AND hang himself...
On the other hand if the opposition doesn't play for time...and the suppository doesn't fly...and Canadians are even dummer than I feared they were.....then get ready to bend over people.
Coz we'll be the ones who get fucked...