Thursday, March 15, 2007

Jack Layton and the Great Pretenders

I'm glad to see Jack Layton has surfaced again. I must admit I'm relieved. I was afraid he had gone back to his old job....selling useless stuff...for dummies. Or was trapped in the basement of the House of Monkeys propping up Great Fat Leader's neocon government... and catching his farts.

There was a brief Jack and Olivia sighting. But it didn't really count....because nobody noticed.

".....the assembled media horde in its entirety included the following: one (1) TV cameraman; one (1) girl from a local radio station; and one (1) reporter from a national magazine.....

These sorts of orchestrated events are awkward at the best of times. But there is perhaps nothing more uncomfortable than watching a man of conviction plead a seemingly important message to an audience of three ....."

Whattsamatta with the dumbo media? Don't they recognize a train wreck when they see one?

But now Jack is back...and with a whole bunch of pre-election ads.

Hmmm.....I don't think they are as good as that.... I think Robert is just suffering from post traumatic purge syndrome...and who can blame him? Although he seems to be recovering... nicely.

But at least Jack's ads are positive...unlike the scummy neocon ones. At least he's selling his own stuff now. And at least Jack is Jack.

Which is more than I can say for Stephen Harper and Stephane Dion who seem to be playing some kind of bizarre game....where each pretends to be the other.

On the one hand you have Great Fat leader pretending to be an environmentalist instead of an oil pimp and climate change denier.

Plodding through one wood after the other, trying to convince Canadians he's really a moderate. So he can fool people into giving him a majority....and then eat them alive.

A charming little pantomime where Harper gets to play the big bad wolf...and dum Canadians get to play Little Red Riding Hood.

You know.... now that the census has told us how many people live in this country.... if Harper ever gets a majority we should be able to calculate the exact number of crazies and dummies down to the very last loser.

Which reminds me...if you think Stephen Harper's performance as a Dion-like eco-geek is outrageous. Get ready for the nerd Dion's unlikely role as a Harper-like crime fighter.

Oh I don't know....maybe if they chubbed the wacky professor up a bit.....gave him a bolo hat ...a weird mustache and a bow tie... and taught him English....he could play Hercule Poirot. And at least try to solve the mystery of who killed the Liberals...and who got the dough?

But you know what I mean...what kind of an upside down world do we live in? Where image is everything...and nothing is what it appears to be. And even the right-wing freakoids at Fox News don't know what to do with the neocon bitch goddess Ann Coulter...

Will it work? Maybe. Anything is possible in the age of the Great Pretenders.

If Stephen Harper can pretend to be a born-again environmentalist, and Stephane Dion can pretend to be a born-again crime fighter. Then Ann Coulter can pretend to be a woman. And Jack can just be Jack...instead of a take no prisoners neocon giant killer.

Too fucking bad....

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