Saturday, July 30, 2011
Rob Ford's Horrible Animal Farm Story
Well I suppose it was inevitable that Rob Ford's City Hall would turn into yet another Con version of Animal Farm.
With the hero of the Ford Nation morphing into another bully Napoleon, who waddles around on his hind legs, sucks back Red Bulls, and can't take no for an answer.
He said he could find close to $2 billion in the city budget without the average citizen noticing. He could do it without cutting services. “Guaranteed,” he said.
Turns out he can’t find vats of savings. Easy money. The KPMG consultants he brought in to sniff out the fat have filed their findings and the savings would have to come from real services that people use and cherish.
In short, Mayor Rob Ford’s credibility is shot, shredded, blown to bits — victim of his excessive rhetoric and unsubstantiated claims.
Golly. What a horrow show. But you've got to admit it's quite an ANIMAL story eh?
The other day the Fordzilla was accused of flipping the bird at a woman and her young daughter. Today he was accused by another woman of suggesting she's a female dog.
And now his penguin Budget Chief is suggesting that Hogtown might raise some money by harvesting the animals at the city's tiny children's zoo.
The politician in charge of Toronto’s finances is unwilling to take any cost-cutting options off the table, suggesting there is money to be found in unexpected places, including the pigs and chickens at Riverdale Farm.
OMG. Since they already sell eggs at the farm, will the poor petting cow be next?
Will the old horse be sent to the glue factory...or worse? I mean can you IMAGINE what a Ford Burger might look like? I can. *Shudder*
One pound of cow/horse beef, between two slabs of pork, floating in half a bucket of gravy. Because nobody ever called him classy eh? Just crass, vulgar, and DUMB.
Like all those people who voted for him. The ones we now call Ford's fools. Because if they lose anymore I.Q. points we are going to have to water them. Thanks a lot IDIOTS.
Oh boy. It's not easy to live on Fordzilla's Farm.
But this too is true. The day we get our act together and drive that homophobic hog from power, the people will be dancing in the streets. And down at the children's zoo.
Even the chickens will be celebrating...
But while we wait for that happy day to arrive...
Enjoy your weekend eh?
Because it's going to be a long four years...