Friday, March 21, 2008
Blogging in Paradise and my Internet Addiction
I'm ashamed to admit that even in paradise... where life is slow and there are so many other better things to do... not having internet access in my secret hideaway was driving me up a palm tree.
Until I finally got my twitching fingers on a computer... and was shocked to discover that my internet addiction was now a mental disorder.
An editorial in this month's issue of the American Journal of Psychiatry says Internet addiction -- including "excessive gaming, sexual pre-occupations and e-mail/text messaging" -- is a common compulsive-impulsive disorder that should be added to psychiatry's official guidebook of mental disorders.
Like other addicts, users experience cravings, urges, withdrawal and tolerance, requiring more and better equipment and software, or more and more hours online, according to Dr. Jerald Block, a psychiatrist at the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland. Dr. Block says people can lose all track of time or neglect "basic drives," like eating or sleeping. Relapse rates are high, he writes, and some people may need psychoactive medications or hospitalization.
So now I'm REALLY sorry I bothered to get back online.
Now I figure I'm in rehab...like Britney and her friends.
Just having a minor relapse.
By the pool...
But then some days are harder than others.
Like when I found out that George Bush had declared the War in Iraq a success.
And I had to leave it to Steve Bell to sum up how I feel about the dum ape, his delusions of grandeur.
And his camel shit hat...
While I went down to my favourite beach.
Thumped and kicked an imaginary punching bag.
And let the blue green waves cool me down....
I don't know why but I find that REALLY helps me not to think about the internet....or what's happening in the news.
Although once I fell asleep on the powdery white sand and had a horrible dream that I was back in snowy Canada.
Where so many people had their heads up their asses....about everything from the state of the weather to the state of Dion.... they were starting to bump into each other.
Scooze me....scooze me... oops....sorry. Fart.
As Emperor Harper fiddled ..... and the economy went down the toilet.
Yikes. Thank goodness it was just a nightmare....or I might have to stay here forever.
Which wouldn't be TOO hard.
Because let's face it.... Canada is a pretty grim place these days. Winter drags on in Spring.The left fights itself and then wonders why the dirty Cons are in power. Hope is in short supply. Mediocrity rules. And the blogosphere is a foul partisan jungle....full of boring nerdy lezras and small dead pigs.
It's the same thing in the United States where the Democrats are tearing themselves apart....snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and drowning Obama's message of hope in a cesspool of racism.
And now the FINAL blow. If all that doesn't drive you crazy the internet will !!!!!!
Although this guy doesn't agree.
And if you read the Journal article, it does mention that 86 percent of the "internet addicted" also suffered from another mental problem.
Which in my mind makes a monkey out of the study. Even though it does help explain the Blogging Tories.
But as for me I'm not taking any chances. I'm taking rehab seriously. No more internet in paradise.
From now on just sunsets....
Ooh.... ahhhh. That's an eight-point-five !! No way that's a WINNAH!!!
Yup.Throw another lobster and a couple of steaks on the barbie Sébastien.
Soon it'll be time to head back to gloomy old Canada.
Scooze me....scooze me. Fart.
But tonight we're still in paradise....