Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Are You Ready For Donald Trump The Cartoon President?

I know it's not a nice thing to say, but I have to admit that when I saw the White House doctor declare that Donald Trump had passed a cognitive test with flying colours, I was both stunned and disappointed. 

President Trump’s White House physician said Tuesday that the president received a perfect score on a cognitive test designed to screen for neurological impairment, which the military doctor said was evidence that Mr. Trump does not suffer from mental issues that prevent him from functioning in office.

And when I saw this I practically collapsed.

A Canadian designed the test that Donald Trump PASSED?

So now we have to live with him FOREVER?

Or until death do us part?

Great eh? 

First they came for Hawaii...

And then they came for us.

And the worst thing is, Trump fooled me completely...

Who knew that gravy was good for you?

But then to be fair, the doctor admitted he didn't test Trump's judgement. 

Which is just as well for Ol' Shithole or Ol' Shithouse President...

And we know that up until recently, few in the media dared diagnose his racism. 

The media often falls back on euphemisms when describing Trump’s comments about race: racially loaded, racially charged, racially tinged, racially sensitive. And Trump himself has claimed that he is “the least racist person.” But here’s the truth: Donald Trump is a racist. He talks about and treats people differently based on their race. He has done so for years, and he is still doing so.

But that's changing, and I'm still hoping that Muelleritis will be fatal.

Special counsel Robert S. Mueller III’s office has subpoenaed former White House chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon to appear before a grand jury, a move that indicates his broad investigation into Russia’s interference in the 2016 campaign is far from wrapping up.

For who knows what Steve Bannon might say if Mueller offers him a couple of drinks...or a couple of dozen?

Or where Trump might end up...

Now that his popularity is tanking.

And one can't help but feel that Trump himself is shrinking.

Once he liked to portray himself as a mighty leader...

Now he's more of a joke.

A caricature of a leader trapped in a cartoon world...

Where Trump gets to play Madman AND Squirrel Man.

And everyone gets to laugh at him.

So I just can't wait to see Stephen Colbert's new Showtime series, Our Cartoon President.

You know, I detect a lot of angry and frustrated people out there, but my advice to them would be to relax.

Ol' Shithouse is slowly unravelling just as I always hoped he would.

And laughter is not only the best medicine.

It's also a mighty weapon...


Steve said...

Reagan passed every test as well, so did JFK. No one knew FDR was in a wheelchair. This checkup has Soviet credibility.

Steve said...

I have negative feelings about anyone who thinks the Skygod has given us an instruction manual.

Anonymous said...

It must be even worse for you Montreal Simon that he passed the "Montreal Cognitive Assessment". Seriously, I'm not sure how this one page test determines whether Trump is fit for office. Coginitive abilities tells nothing of a person's morals or how they would be as president. Something we're all painfully aware of now.
Take heart(literally) though Simon. How the doctor can state that he's in excellent health when his cholesterol is through the roof is beyond me. Those numbers indicate a continuous buildup of plaque in his gravy vessels(arteries) and given his age, I'd say his arteries are 70% clogged. Not enough to affect his ECG, but enough that should a piece of plaque break free, its trip on the gravy train could end with a clogged artery in the heart or brain. Down goes Donnie and the hopes and dreams of racists everywhere.

Jackie Blue said...

I wouldn't read too much into this, Simon. It's a BS result, as Steve pointed out about Reagan, FDR and JFK. The president's "fitness" affects the stock market and the world at large, and so of course they're going to report back that he passed with flying colors so as not to rock the boat. Not to mention, this doctor is a Navy man, and so has to follow orders from the president. There's no way Trump is 239 pounds either. 240 is the cutoff for obesity for a man Trump's height, and so he was probably directed to report that Trump didn't meet the criteria. Like Maxwell Smart used to say on Get Smart back in the '60s: "missed it by that much." I mean, really, did you see that the doctor said he had a growth spurt in his old age? That's not humanly possible! Old people shrink and even teenagers don't always sprout up the way they hope to!

It's just like when you bring up those polls that appear on the surface to show that Trudeau's government is dead in the water, only to dig deeper beyond the con-BS headline and find out that there's an oversampling of angry, toothless middle-aged Harpercons in some population-400 town in Alberta. Garbage not worth the paper it's printed on or the ink they wasted printing it. Or the bandwidth they used to run it online in this "modern-day presidential" day and age.

I was on another website recently where a number of Canadian commenters said the test really isn't that difficult to pass, and doesn't tell you anything about psychological or emotional wellness either. It doesn't take an Ivy League expert to point out that he is a walking copy of the DSM, but that's just what a whole bunch of them did with their book The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump. And of course nobody paid much heed to your Dame Maggie's warning about his dire need to get a mental-health checkup for his own benefit, his family's, and that of the nation, way back in October of last year before any votes were cast. Rather like like the Greek prophetess Cassandra, who foresaw the Trojan War on the horizon but nobody believed her because, well, she was a woman.

But I trust Cassandras like Maggie Trudeau and Dr. Bandy Lee (the editor of that book), a lot more than this fluff propaganda "physical." The fact that he can point out a picture of a rhinoceros on a coloring page doesn't tell us anything about the fact that he is criminally insane. The far scarier thing is that so are the deranged lunatics in his deplorable cult.

Anonymous said...

As if that sack of shit is only 239 pounds lmao

Anonymous said...

The polls also said Hillary was going to be the next president. How did that turn out for you Freud?

Filcher said...

Anon 3:27 PM It turned out that the polls were right, if the US had been a democracy, but they don't even claim that anymore.

Filcher said...

My understanding is that the medical exam was done on the ISS.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Simon, laughter is indeed the best medicine, and I enjoyed this post from start to finish. If Trump hates Saturday Night Live, he's really going to hate Our Cartoon President. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the straw that breaks the camel's back.

Jackie Blue said...

@anon 3:27 -- Way to gloss over the point of Simon's article and zero in on one throwaway comparison in my comment about bullshit con-oversampled polls. Hillary Clinton won 3M more popular votes. If we didn't have an archaic leftover system that came about as a result of the same mentality as the 3/5 Compromise, and which gives those population-400 corn fields equal if not more weight than thriving states like California, she would have been president. But don't let a little thing like math or facts get in the way of a good drive-by troll comment.

You've been calling me dime-store Freud since the fiasco over the Polytéchnique article, and that was a whole month ago. Perhaps you need to pay a visit to the funny farm, as you seem obsessed with what a random girl on the Internet -- in another country, at that -- says about trigger-happy, unstable non-geniuses like you and your infinitesimally small buttons? By any chance, you wouldn't be the same dotard who said Trudeau deserves to be raped in jail and has been threatening Simon too? Or just an acolyte? Whoever you are, please go down to the dime store to get a life, and use the healthcare that Canada so generously provides you with to seek professional help. And if it is the same "you" who's been threatening Simon and publishing your violent fantasies about the prime minister, then please do yourself and your country a favor and turn yourself in for arrest to the nearest Mountie, whose trademark mode of equestrian transportation hopefully drops some "fertilizer bombs" of its own on your front lawn.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Ronny Jackson said Trump asked him to give him a cognitive exam.

Did Trump know in advance which cognitive test he would be given? The Montreal Cognitive Assessment is available online. 8-)

It would be quite easy for most people to get 30/30 if you saw the questions in advance and prepped for it.

Dr. Ronald Petersen, an Alzheimer's disease expert at the prestigious Mayo Clinic, said he could not comment specifically on the president's cognitive health.

However, he did say that, in theory, a perfect score on the Montreal Cognitive Assessment does not necessarily rule out cognitive decline. It is just one measure in a clinical judgment, he said in an email.

When the White House released the results of a test on Donald Trump's mental acuity Tuesday, showing he aced it, there was one person out there brimming with pride despite not knowing the president.

That person was Ziad Nasreddine — the man who designed the test.

The Lebanese-Canadian neurologist learned from a reporter Tuesday afternoon that the White House had selected the Montreal Cognitive Assessment to test the president's cognitive faculties, after days of speculation about his state.

Nasreddine cautioned that his exam doesn't test for everything.

It's designed to identify early cognitive decline — not other psychological or personality attributes, such as judgment. He also points out that it can be tricked by someone with a very high level of education.

"The test is a screening measure. It has limitations," he said.

"It's a test mostly for executive functions, and memory. Meaning organization, planning, abstract thinking... (Still), if it's 30 on 30 it's really reassuring — in terms of the ability of the person to have minimum cognitive function to be able to do important things, in terms of language, memory, executive function. It does not absolutely assess personality issues."

Anonymous said...

Video: Leonard Cohen — Everybody Knows (Lyrics)

Video: Everybody Knows

Lyrics: Everybody Knows

Everybody Knows 2.0

Everybody knows that there’s no collusion
Everybody smiles when the camera’s on
Everybody knows the game is over
Everybody knows the fake guy won
Everybody knows his temper is quick
The rich get richer, the poor get sick
That’s how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows who’s doing the leaking
Everybody knows that The Donald lies
Everybody got this broken feeling
Like their country or their dog just died
The top one percent fill their pockets
Where does Wolff send the box of chocolates?
Now I suppose
Everybody knows

Everybody knows what he said to Billy
Everybody knows all his tweets are true
Everybody knows he reads all documents
Ah, give or take a time or two
Everybody knows the spineless GOP
And there were so many Russians he just had to meet
With a friendly pose
And everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

And everybody knows that it’s now or never
Everybody knows how much he offends
And everybody knows that you live forever
Ah, when you’re watching Fox & Friends
Everybody knows the chaotic West Wing
Do the Dreamers mean anything?
What will Mueller disclose
So everybody knows

And everybody knows that he’s a racist
He knows very fine people on both sides
Everybody knows he said ‘shithole countries'
Everybody knows the Button he wants to try
Everybody knows he has three TVs
And there are so many cheeseburgers he just has to eat
When in repose
Everybody knows

And everybody knows that he’s in trouble
Everybody knows that it’s time to go
From the plaque below the Statue of Liberty
To the beach at Mar-a-Lago
Everybody knows fifteen women’s names
And who it is they blame
That’s how it goes
Now everybody knows

Everybody knows the very stable genius
Everybody knows of serious voter fraud
He knows more about ISIS than the generals
Everybody knows Mexico pays for the wall
Everybody knows loyalty’s a one-way street
Fire and fury will have lots of heat
So before it blows
Everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

Everybody knows, everybody knows
That's how it goes
Everybody knows

For further reference:

Leonard Cohen Predicted Trump Would Be Elected, Says His Son

Leonard Cohen predicted Trump victory, says son

Why We Mourn Leonard Cohen in the Era of Trump

Stephen Stills & Judy Collins – Everybody Knows (2017)

The rich are getting richer, the poor are getting screwed

Anonymous said...

Donald Trump’s Racism: The Definitive List

Trump Is a Racist. Period.

Will America Choose King’s Dream or Trump’s Nightmare?

5 questions I'd like Donald Trump to answer today

Trump uses 'no collusion' 7 times in a single Russia answer

Trump is Perfect. The Shithole Thing Was Just What the Doctor Ordered.

Donald Trump made 1,012 false claims in 2017

President Trump has made more than 2,000 false or misleading claims over 355 days

Donald J. Trump

David said...

Michael Wolff's 'Fire and Fury' to Become TV Series (Exclusive)

Anonymous said...

Simon said...

hi Steve...yes, one has to wonder about the credibility of that test. It's designed to test for fairly advanced cognitive degeneration, and I don't think it's enough to declare that Trump is not suffering from some kind of neurological disorder. But it's done now, and God help us all...

Simon said...

hi Steve...what? You didn't get your instruction manual??? Go immediately to the nearest Skygod centre and ask for one. Just don't tell them I sent you... ;)

Simon said...

hi JD...yes, I was hoping that nobody would notice the name of the test, because needless to say it's a huge blow to the self esteem of every Montrealer, except for the five or six Trump supporters.
But then as you point out, the test which is really simple, is not intended to determine whether a person is fit to walk around followed by someone carrying enough nuclear codes to blow up the world. And you're also right about his blood tests which embarrassingly enough I didn't take the time to read. For they do signal some potentially serious problems, that could still have him removed from the White House feet first, before his term is over. At least that's my hope, and why I sent him a bouquet of roses, a congratulatory note, and an extra large bucket of fried chicken... ;)

Simon said...

hi Jackie...I don't like to criticize doctors, and by all accounts Dr Ronny is a nice guy. But I really have to wonder whether his glowing medical report was influenced by the atmosphere in the White House, where cheerleading is more important than reality. For starters, as you point out, that Montreal (gulp) test is a little too crude for a person in the early stages of cognitive degeneration. And even Trump can put wings on a chicken or recognize the hands of a clock. Also, as another reader suggested, can we be sure that he was not given the copy of the test in advance? Just a few hours before he took the test, so he didn't have any time to forget it. We're going to have to wait for him to totally lose his marbles,or his moral compass, before it's obvious to even some of his dumbest supporters, that he is unfit to be a dog catcher let alone a President...

P.S. Don't let that dumb Con bother you. I bet he goes around using that Freud line on everyone and in every situation. I think I deleted about three or four other comments from the same person, and I probably should have deleted that one too because I normally don't allow Cons to insult those who comment here. The only reason I let it through was because I knew you would put the beast in its place, in an admirable manner. And boy did you ever... ;)

Simon said...

hi Filcher...I just had an image of Trump floating in zero gravity and it wasn't a pleasant thought, until somebody let go of that bigot balloon, and it floated away never to be seen again... ;)

Simon said...

hi anon 3:27 PM...Hillary won millions of vote more than Trump, and as Filcher says, in a normal democracy she would have been elected President. But back to those Trump polls... the Orange Oaf's popularity is now so diminished that if he keeps on shrinking they are going to need a microscope to find him. So careful you don't step on him, because that would be horrible. Or not...

Simon said...

hi anon 4:42 pm...thank you for those kind words, although I have to admit that at this time of the year my ability to be funny is severely diminished. But I try anyway since I really do believe that laughter will help get us through this nightmare. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if seeing himself as a cartoon figure will enrage Trump so much he will go over the deep end, and force the doctors to give him another checkup, which hopefully he will fail... ;)