Friday, January 26, 2018
Donald Trump and the Golden Toilet
It's the kind of request that would have made poor old Vincent Van Gogh cut off his other ear.
Donald Trump writing to the Guggenheim Museum to ask if he could borrow Van Gogh's Landscape With Snow, to hang in his private quarters.
Fortunately the museum said sorry, no can do.
But did offer to lend him something even better.
A shiny gold toilet called America.
The emailed response from the Guggenheim’s chief curator to the White House was polite but firm: The museum could not accommodate a request to borrow a painting by Vincent van Gogh for President and Melania Trump’s private living quarters.
The curator’s alternative: an 18-karat, fully functioning, solid gold toilet — an interactive work titled “America” that critics have described as pointed satire aimed at the excess of wealth in this country.
If Trump would accept it, because as you know he's finicky about where he plants his fat ass.
On the face of it, President Trump might appreciate an artist’s rendering of a gilded toilet, given his well-documented history of installing gold-plated fixtures in his residences, his properties and even his airplane. But the president is also a self-described germaphobe, and it’s an open question whether he would accept a previously used toilet, 18-karat or otherwise.
And he has his own gold toilet...
Or as some like to call it Trump's throne.
The place where he gets all his Make America Great ideas...
And excretes all his major decisions.
So maybe he'd prefer one of Maurizio Cattelan's other creations.
Cattelan, 57, is well known in the art world for his satirical and provocative creations, including a sculpture depicting Pope John Paul II lying on the ground after being hit by a meteorite. Another was a child-size sculpture of an adult Adolf Hitler, kneeling.
Especially, the Hitler one...
For obvious reasons.
Or maybe he'd like this just as fascist, but more Make America Great Again version...
Although if it was up to me, and knowing that he's terrified of sharks.
I'd offer him this painting...
Or since I also know that Trump doesn't have an artistic bone in his body, or an ounce of class.
Maybe we should just send him this primitive...um...masterpiece.
And tell him it's the Mona Lisa, and it's worth BILLIONS.
Still, on a serious note, when I think of how Trump has apparently volunteered to allow Robert Mueller to question him under oath.
And I think how Mueller must be feeling after finding out that Trump tried to fire him.
President Trump ordered the firing last June of Robert S. Mueller III, the special counsel overseeing the Russia investigation, according to four people told of the matter, but ultimately backed down after the White House counsel threatened to resign rather than carry out the directive.
Maybe the gold toilet is the best choice, because that's where Trump is going.
Before he goes here...
Oh and one more thing...
Don't forget to send Trump a LOT of toilet paper eh?
Because from now on his story is probably going to get REALLY messy.
And I think he's going to need it...