Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Canada and the Winter of Everything
Somebody told me today that although Spring is officially just around the corner, we're going to have six more weeks of Winter.
And I believe them. I mean just check out the fake beach. You need snowshoes or flippers to walk across it.
There's so much snow everywhere... so many pale sickly faces bugged out with anger or despair. I fear it's only a matter of time before people start attacking each other.
Oh wait. They already are..
With snow blowers and shotguns?
Yup. It's definitely Winter in Canada. And it's not just the weather either. It's EVERYTHING.
I missed the news last week because I had an operation... and I wasn't allowed to read or watch tv. So I am still trying to understand how so many bad things could happen in Canada in such a short time.
Like this outrage.
Huh? How many dum Cons can you squeeze into the Liberal Party before we get to call them the Con Liberals.... and their leader Yellow Jello?
Or how about this one.
Can you believe it? The homophobe porker McVety walking around on his hind legs in the Con pen , telling us what Canadian movies we can make or see? Oink. Oink. Does that take the bacon or what?
And then there's the sordid tale of how the neocons tried to buy the vote of a dying MP.... and are now trying to make his widow out to be a liar.
How low can you go?
Where is this country going? When will this nightmare end?
Oh well...... if anyone knows the answer...... please do me a favour.
Write it on a postcard.
And mail it to my southern villa...
Because I'm outta here!!!!!
You see I need to rest up a bit ... and think about all these troubling questions before I return to Canada and the blogosphere.
And I just can't help but think that the view from the hammock in the gazebo by the pool..... has got to be a little SUNNIER than it is up here.
And then there's that other inescapable fact:
As much as I like rolling in the snow under a steel umbrella ...... on a fake Toronto beach.
I think I prefer the real thing...
But please don't feel sorry for me. I'm sure I'll be fine.
The friendly locals call this beach Simon's Beach...and like to bring me cool drinks. And Sébastien will be there to make sure I don't get TOO tanned.
So just think of yourselves...and keep on trying to make Spring in Canada happen people.
The only way it really can.
By shoving those nasty neocons into the garbage can of history....or some other place where the sun never shines.
I'll be dreaming about that under my palm tree.
See y'all soon...