Monday, April 03, 2006

Bombs and Donuts and the War with Iran

It was quite the scene in downtown Toronto this afternoon. Police cars and convoys of fire engines and bomb disposal units were rushing everywhere sirens wailing. Police were cordoning off streets. There were radio reports that a man with explosives strapped to his body had taken out a Tim Hortons. And rumours that another bomb had gone off just a block away, and others were about to explode. The whole thing blew my mind. Holy Boston Cream pie I thought. Had our 911 finally arrived? And what sinister message were the suicide bombers trying to send? By hitting Timmys instead of trains.

Could it really be blowback for coming to the aid of our troops in Afghanistan? And if so should we surrender, now or later? I mean, if you're not safe in a Tim Hortons you're not safe anywhere.

In the end it turned out to be considerably less dramatic.
Which is probably just as well. That way President Harper can't do what American Presidents like to do and put up a plaque with something like this written on it:

This plaque marks the spot of the first terrorist attack on Canadian soil. It did not shake the resolve of the Canadian people. Only made them more determined in future to hold it until they got home. And to make those responsible for their agony pay for it by feeling the full force of our glorious War on Terror.

Right above the little sign that says:

"Please Flush"

No I wouldn't worry about the War on Tim Hortons. If the terrorists try to start any nonsense, we'll force them to drink the coffee. Two double doubles and they'll be begging for mercy. No, if you want to worry about something worry about the War with Iran.

The British have denied it.
But what would you expect them to do? It may be just a way to put pressure on Iran. Or put the brakes on the Pentagon plan to take out places like the Natanz uranium enrichment plant, --- if they can.

But considering that most experts believe that the Iranians are years away from producing a nuclear weapon, the Americans do seem to be in a bit of a hurry.

The Iranians aren't helping things by bragging about their new toys. Not with so many supertankers and U.S. warships and carriers bobbing around in the Gulf.

But as I've said before I still think it has something to with the Iranian Bourse now set to open in June.

It wouldn't hurt the Republican Party either...

As for me you know how I feel about those gay murdering Mullahs. The more of them that glow in the dark, the happier I would feel. Anyone who tortures or kills gays for who they are deserves to die. You can't kill enough of them as far as I'm concerned.

On the other hand just about everyone agrees that attacking Iran would trigger a wave of terrorism. Remember these are the people who used old men, women, and boys to run through mine fields and clear a path for their troops during the Iran-Iraq War.

And some even think the Iranians would turn their attention to making dirty bombs. If one of those had gone off in downtown Toronto today I wouldn't be laughing about it tonight.I'd be getting the hell out of the downtown area along with just about everyone else.

But I'm not going to let things like that worry me. I've got enough things on my mind. Like what's going to happen next Wednesday night?

When at a certain moment times and dates will line up like this:

01:02:03 04/05/06

My dad says it will never happen again.

I have no idea what it means. But these days you can't take any chances.

So I won't be going anywhere. I'll be staying at home with the dog, munching on a box of Boston Cream pies.

I mean after what nearly happened today.

I feel like I almost have to.

Take that you filthy terrorists!



  1. 01:02:03 04/05/06

    Now is that April 5th or May 4th?

  2. Uh Oh. I didn't think of that. Although my Dad did say Wednesday.
    I've sent an urgent telegram to Scotland asking for clarification.
    But it may take some time. The telegram guy has to walk the last twenty miles. And there are at least 80 drinking establishments in the way...

  3. Those who were hoping that the Tim Hortons incident was blowback are sick people,I know there are sickos on the left waiting for Canadians to die here,
    and many sicko bloggers on the right and left were too eager to jump to conclusions.

  4. Steve

    I don't think that anyone on the left, or the right for that matter, wants any Canadians to die. Here or anywhere else. But I do agree that some bloggers did jump to conclusions. The Amazing Wonderdog has had some good fun with that.