Fucking Stephen Harper: The Play

Oh no. I can't believe it. I thought I knew EVERYTHING about Stephen Harper....his twisted ideology, his bullying nature, his monster moments.

But apparently I didn't.

FUCKING STEPHEN HARPER: How I Sexually Assaulted the 22nd Prime Minister of Canada and Where It Got Me, which Maclean's has called "An hilarious and powerful take on Canadian politics, the media, the gay community, and what Stephen Harper's balls feel like."

And now I don't know what to think. Stephen Harper as a VICTIM? The monster has BALLS? OMG. I don't think I can handle it.

Although they say it's funnier than Rob's last play.

Which is just as well eh? Because living in Con Canada is depressing enough.

But now I'm curious. Does John Baird play the role of the jealous consort ?

Will Lisa Raitt debut her new hit song..."I love Cancer in the Springtime?"

And does Jason Kenney make at least a brief appearance?

















Oh Lordy I hope so. Because ever since he said gays could get married if they married someone of the opposite sex, I've always felt he deserved a cabaret act.

But of course the biggest question I have is what on earth is going on between Harper and Iggy?

Because this was supposed to be a bad date not a hawt honeymoon.

















And I knew Harper would claim he'd topped Iggy.

In an internal memo circulated within Tory ranks, the Prime Minister's Office appeared to be claiming victory over Ignatieff.

"The Liberals have reversed themselves on EI reform (their 360-hour demand has been abandoned) and withdrawn the threat to force an unnecessary summer election," the memo said.

"Instead, the Liberals will vote for the next round of stimulus in our Economic Action Plan."

The nasty little piggy.

Oh boy. You know I have a confession to make. I was pulling for a fall election. But now that I see Stephen Harper crawling on all fours waving his ass in the air like a werewolf in heat I figure he must desperate.

So I figure we should have gone NOW.

But of course it's too late for that.

Although I do have a consolation prize.

I have managed to get my hands on a tape of Jason Kenney rehearsing his act...



You know after watching that tape again I don't think it is La Jason. The guy in the spandex is not as chubby and far more talented.

Oh well. Spare a few thoughts....and a few cans of food... for the unemployed.

Bye bye politics. Fuck Con Canada.

Hello summer....

Mike Duffy: You Know What Made Me a Partisan?

You know when the Con porker Mike Duffy was appointed to the Senate, I thought that was the last time I'd hear from him. Apart from an occasional oink and a burp.

But I guess that was too good to be true.

Duffy spoke at length about Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff's ties to other countries.
He questioned if Canadians are seeing the real Ignatieff, asking, "Is he a multiple personality disorder or something? What is he?"

Duffy also took pointed jabs at other thorns in the Conservative political side, referring to outspoken Newfoundland and Labrador Premier Danny Williams as "that whack job over in Newfoundland," and Green Party Leader Elizabeth May as "Bucky the Beaver."

Which I guess is pretty funny coming from Puffy the Pig.

Although I like this stuff even better.

Duffy staunchly defended his decision to go to "the other side", saying he wasn't always a partisan while he was still working as a reporter.

"You know what made me a partisan? The Liberals."

Huh? Wot? He wasn't ALWAYS a partisan while he was STILL working as a reporter? Golly. We all knew he was a partisan hack but now he's finally ADMITTED it.

And BTW is that what passes for journalism at CTV News?

Oh right.

CTV Newsnet will run a statement saying it violated the Canadian Association of Broadcasters code of ethics within the next three days at the same time as the Mike Duffy Live program used to air, and again within a week.

You know I thought Bob Rae had the best line of the day, when he said Lisa Raitt probably left the secret documents at CTV's Ottawa bureau because she thought it was a branch of the government.

And who can blame her eh? No wonder the Cons want to kill the CBC.

As for Duffy....he was a lousy journalist. He's a pig of a Senator.

Throw him a whole BBQ chicken...or a bucket of chicken guts.

And oh yeah... ABOLISH the Senate.

Before he disgraces it further...