When the Cons Go to School

I don't know if it's because they need to get them off the streets...or because they're so DUMB. But it seems the Cons are going back to skool one month early.

Federal Conservatives will gather in Ottawa Monday for training sessions as party officials prepare for the possibility of a fall election

Monday's meetings are mostly for campaign volunteers and staff, although candidates and current caucus members are also invited to attend. Those in attendance will learn how to deal with social media, fundraising, journalists and direct-mail.

Lordy. Poor Ottawa. What's to become of our capital village? All those old white guys with cowboy hats. All those piggies in the bars. All those nasty nerds trying to make friends on facebook. The horror...the HORROR.

And since just about NOBODY is thinking of a fall election, what are they going to teach those Con oinkers anyway?

Iggy is a traitor? The Bloc loves pedophiles? Cancer isn't sexy? Sick people are NOT cold cuts? Who needs medical isotopes when dead people don't talk? Faggots are gay people until we get a majority? Women STILL have rights...for now?

Or will they just teach them that unemployment wouldn't be a problem. If the unemployed weren't too lazy to work?

And of course the Golden Rule. Obedience is a porky virtue. Never say or write anything before clearing it with the PMO. Great Geenyous Leader is never wrong...even when he is. And anybody who even doubts that, better get down on their knees and kiss his fat ass. Before he bites their heads off.

Golly.That IS a lot of things to learn. I wonder if those Con oinkers can handle it?

I wonder if between the squealing and the hee haws there will be any quiet time left. So that an old Con can lecture them on why it's not a good idea to sellout the country?

In the current circumstances, it is incumbent upon the government to exercise its leadership in seeking a resolution that is in the national interest, and that includes using all the tools at its disposal to ensure Nortel and RIM thoroughly explore all options.

Hmmmm. Somehow I doubt it. Because these wretched porkers aren't just dumbing down our country or shitting on it. They're selling it off from under OUR feet ....and their trotters.

Which reminds me. Will John Baird teach them how to scream during question period?

Or will he teach them how to DANCE?















Because SOMEBODY in that crowd of homophobic hee haws has GOTTA be the life of the party.

Oh boy. What more can I say except oinky boinky doodle?

Something tells me this Con Skool is going to be an epic FAIL.

But it should be really amusing...