Oh I know I should be blogging about other more important things...like Great Fat Leader's visit to Europe. I hear it's a real joke. That he turned up with such delusions of grandeur that the other leaders started calling him Napoleon....after the pig in Animal Farm.
But it's summer...and nobody else seems to care.
While Canadian news sources wax rapturous and ridiculous about Harper's various pronouncements about global warming or Putin or missile shields or what have you not one extra-national or international news source as much as mentions his name or Canada.
So why should I?
I figure if I'm going to get excited about a non-news story....it might as well be Paris.
Paris Hilton has been released from jail after serving just three days of her 45-day sentence for driving offences....and will serve the rest of her sentence under house arrest for "medical reasons".
OMFG!!!!!!!!! What have these MONSTERS done to her?
Reports have suggested that Hilton has not been eating or sleeping since her arrival last Sunday at the Los Angeles County jail. She has phoned her lawyers to complain about her pillows and blankets and is said to have spent hours sobbing in her cell.
How horrible. How cruel. Oh I know that a lot of people are down on Paris. They call her a slut and a drunk, and a no talent little rich girl. But I don't go for any of that shit. They're just ENVIOUS.
The only thing I've ever held against her was all that grunting and screaming on her famous sex video. I mean really. Talk about an ape of a tape...
But then how would you like it if YOUR life was an open video?
Which reminds me..... I know some people are saying she was let out of jail early only because she's rich and/or blew the guards. Or that the "medical reasons" are that she has to be close to her liquor cabinet.
But I just want Paris to know that I don't believe that for one minute. And that even if now she REALLY IS A BITCH. It's not her fault.
I blame Mitch.....
Uh oh.....that sounds like it could be noisy.... but I'm sure all is forgiven...three days of being buried alive and then she was out...just like Jesus Christ. It's a miracle.
Who needs the unvirgin Mary when we've got Paris? Just like who needs Napoleon the porker when we got Harper?
Although I suppose the sight of Paris Hilton staggering drunkenly around her mansion with an ankle bracelet on is just as ridiculous as the sight of Stephen Harper posing as a world leader.
As for me all I can do is pray to Jesus that if she was forced to make a video with Mitch and the jail guards.... that Paris didn't look like she was having too much of a good time.
And pray that Great Fat Leader gets a chance to finish his video soon: The Rise and Fall of Stephen Harper: From Napoleon to Squealer.
I might not watch Paris' new sex tape.
But I sure would enjoy that one...
3 comments:
I have to laugh, Steve Harper and Paris Hilton in the same posting!! That in itself pretty well sums them up (two wannabes, both backed by money and, both well known for doing nothing worthwhile)
How appropriate Simon.
haha....got a real kick out of this one! alison at creekside has a stephen/paris post...seem like you two are on the same wavelength on this one. harper has to be the biggest (pysically) napolean alive. if steve has channeled the 'little guy', i'm sure little guy is smiling at his height...maybe not the girth, but hey....
Hi Sassy!!! I was meaning to just write about Paris but I couldn't resist taking a shot at Harper.It just comes sooooooo naturally :)
Hey Scout!I'm glad you enjoyed it. And thanks for referring me to Alison's blog...it's a really good one.
I so enjoyed how Harpie and his horrible minion Baird set out to be players.And were all but given the bum's rush. heh heh heh...
Finally I should make one thing clear...I never have actually seen the Paris sex tape. I am a gay boy after all...But another gay boy who did told it was noisy. And I believe him :)
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