The Pipeline and the Terrorist Menace

Some days this summer its been too hot to go to the beach. 

And when I do go, and I lie there on the baking sand, I can't help thinking of the sun as the enemy.

Burning the life out of the planet. 

Darth Harper and the End of the Con Empire

It must have seemed like such a good idea to a man like Stephen Harper. 

He would teach Obama to humiliate him by delaying approval of the Keystone XL pipeline. 

By making Americans think the Democrats are driving Canada into the arms of their Chinese enemies.

Because they don't call him Darth Harper for nothing eh? And being vindictive is in his genes.

Christy Clark and the Big Oil Sellout

I wish I could cheer for Christy Clark in her battle with Alison Redford over the future of the Northern Gateway pipeline. 

But I just can't eh?

I just don't believe that bartering with someone who wants to shove a pipeline up your ass is something that should be celebrated. At least not in polite company.

Stephen Harper and the Ghost of Bruce Carson

Golly. I wouldn't be surprised if Stephen Harper is having nightmares these days, like Ebenezer Scrooge did in A Christmas Story.

Waking up in the middle of the night, sweating like a pig, staring at the ghost of Bruce Carson come back to haunt him.

Stephen Harper and the Rotting Regime

Sometimes it's the little stories that tell you so much about the way Stephen Harper's Con regime is slowly rotting from the head down.

Like the story of how our mad emperor tried to turn his government of Canada chuck wagon  winged chariot  into Air Con. 

Stephen Harper and the War on Government

The thing that scares me the most about living in Harperland is how so many, who should know better, can't see the forest for the trees. Or the monsters who hide behind them.

So Nik Nanos can report that many Canadians have lost confidence in government.

Nik Nanos, the president of Nanos Research and the author behind the study, characterizes Canadians' views as a "bit of a limp handshake in terms of confidence" in government.

Without mentioning that's exactly what Stephen Harper wants. Because he doesn't want to improve government, he wants to DESTROY it.

Stephen Harper, Rob Ford, and the Deadly Game

It had to be one of the most  grotesque photo-ops ever. Rob Ford, the brutish Mayor of Toronto, gripping Stephen Harper's limp wrist in his meaty paw, in a police station. 

The two Cons carrying on like Laurel and Hardy, belching bullshit, and  playing cheap politics with tragedy. 

Stephen Harper's Desperate Makeover

Uh oh. This could be ugly. I mean pretty. It looks as if Stephen Harper is badly in need of a major makeover.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s public approval ratings have reached an all-time low in 2012, and Nanos Research president Nik Nanos says the Conservatives may want to begin rehabilitating their leader’s brand this fall. 

Because the omens are ominous.

The Quebec Students and the Occupy Movement

It was such an awesome sight. Tens of thousands of people marching through the street on a muggy Montreal afternoon. 

To show their support for the student movement, denounce a fascist bill. 

And show Jean Charest and his corrupt government that they are still THERE. 

Rob Ford: When the Bigot is a Moron

Damn. I've been trying to think of something nice to say about Rob Ford for soooo long.

It's the kind of guy I am. Always looking for the good in people. Or the pony in the manure. 

And besides after calling him an incompetent buffoon, a crass and vulgar redneck, and a pathetic bigot, I figure I owe him one eh?

But it's no good. As hard as I try, I just can't put lipstick on a Con like that one. 

But what I can do from now on, is call him Mayor Moron. 

Omar Khadr and the Invisible Kid

I love this UNICEF message. It's one of the best messages against bullying and violence against children I have ever seen.

But for some reason it also makes me think of our invisible kid, Omar Khadr. And makes me wonder who will protect him from the depravity of Vic Toews? 

Stephen Harper and the Culture of Intimidation

Well I see a group of theatre companies in Vancouver are putting on a play based on Stephen Harper and his Con regime.

Even though there are fears Great Horned Leader might sue them. 

Practically every theatre company in the city has joined together to mount a staged reading of a satirical play —Proud — that Toronto’s Tarragon theatre chose not to present after a board member raised concerns that Stephen Harper might have a case for defamation against anyone who staged it.

And I can't help thinking that only in Harperland could there be so much fear and loathing over a harmless little comedy. 

Mitt Romney, the Billionaire, and the Scissor Sister

When I watch this latest attack ad from the Mitt Romney campaign, I can't help thinking how desperate he must be, and how much money he must have.

If he can outspend even Obama. 

How to Destroy the Con Brand

Well now it's official. If we want to demolish the Con Regime.

And enjoy a buh bye/ boo hoo/f**k you speech like this one. 

All we have to do is demolish Stephen Harper. Because he's the Con brand.

The Cons and the Attack of the Angry Doctors

OMG. I don't blame the Cons for thinking that Canada's doctors are after them.

But that'll teach them to treat sick refugees as less than human.

“There is a new way of thinking in medicine, which is that doctors, because of their stature, privilege and expertise, have a duty to speak out and cannot remain silent when the government places conditions on patients that make them sick,” said Dr. Philip Berger, chief of family and community medicine at St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto.

For let's be absolutely clear, the idea of denying health care to desperate refugees is nothing but naked xenophobia, and the closest thing I have ever seen to attempted genocide in Canada.

The Quebec Students and the Road Ahead

There are fewer of them these days. The long hot days of July have quietened things down.

But the Quebec students are still marching through the streets of Montreal. 

Tonight was their 83rd nightly demo in a row. And next month they will have to make a choice that could determine the future of their movement, the future of Quebec, and maybe even the future of Canada.

Stephen Harper and the Angry Canadians

OMG. Fan me with a chicken feather. I can understand why Stephen Harper must be wondering why he's laying one egg after the other.

His polls are tanking, his credibility is shot, his corrupt regime is imploding, and his dirty oil pipeline is now just a pipedream.

But after everything Harper has done to this country and its values, why does a journalist like Dan Gardner still not understand why so many Canadians hate him?

Alison Redford and the Pipeline to Nowhere

Holy hee haw. Lasso me like a baby steer. I can't believe that Alison Redford is still snubbing Tom Mulcair.

Redford said no meeting with Mulcair is on the books.

"Nobody's asked me to meet with him and I'm quite busy Stampeding and speaking to Albertans about what matters to them."

Because she's got better things to do eh? Like flipping pancakes at the Redneck Rodeo, or watching horses die.

Norman Bethune and the Ghastly Cons

I wasn't planning to write about this storm in the twittersphere. 

Because what can you say eh? Except that it's obviously summer. Tony Clement is a shameless idiot. Ezra Levant is a freak of nature. And Norman Bethune is bigger than all of them. 

But now that the grotesque Con Rob Anders has crawled out of his hole to dump on Bethune's legacy

I feel I need to say something.

Obama and the War of the Billionaires

When I watch this ad, I am reminded that the U.S. presidential election is now less than four months away.

And how the right-wing billionaire's club that paid for it is going all out to remove Obama from office. 

Vic Toews and the Case of Luka Magnotta

About a month ago I made this little photoshop, because I was sure that Vic Toews would try to use the Luka Magnotta case to peddle his internet snooping bill.

For a Con zombie is a Con zombie, and there is nothing Toews wouldn't do to rummage stumble through our computers without a warrant.

So he can gnaw on the flesh of his enemies -- real or imagined.

And sure enough, it turns out I was right.

Stephen Harper's Most Horrible Day

Golly. Talk about a study in contrasts. There was Tom Mulcair flashing a winner's smile.

While in the other corner, there was Stephen Harper looking absolutely AWFUL. As if he'd just seen the grim ghost of his political future.

Or somebody had just asked him whether he REALLY likes handcuffs. Opening his mouth, showing his teeth, and grinding them gently together.

And who can blame him eh? It was his most horrible day.

Jason Kenney and the Monstrous Cons

I made this little Photoshop  graphic a few years ago, but I see I was completely right to call Jason Kenney a freak.

For only a freak would run a petition on his website inviting people to thank him for being Jason Kenney.

Canadians who want to sign a petition showing their support for Immigration Minister Jason Kenney’s decision to reduce medical benefits for refugees can do so online — on Jason Kenney’s own website.

And only a Con could be so EVIL.

Stephen Harper and the Big Lie

Uh oh. Duck and cover.This could be embarrassing eh? Great Cowboy Leader is bragging about our economy again.Telling the WHOLE WORLD that they should be like Harperland !!!!!!

“Under our conservative government, Canada will not slip back the way so many other developed countries are slipping back,” he said. “To succeed what the world must become in the future is what Canada is today.”

OMG. Can you believe that eh? The man must be either completely deranged, or totally shameless. Because they must be laughing at him all the way to Norway. Which BTW is doing MUCH better than Canada.

Stephen Harper and the Redneck Rodeo

It's hard to imagine a more horrible or absurd sight, than Great Black Hat Leader at the Redneck Rodeo. 

Posing as a pretty Brokeback cowboy, pursued by a posse of horny passionate admirers. But sounding like a rabid  Alberta separatist.

"I think if the founders could be here today and see the great city, see what has built up around this event, they would be amazed. They would be amazed to see that their Stampede has been part of giving birth to the greatest city and the greatest country in the world," said Harper just before the parade began.

Or the sinister bandido Firewall Steve.

The Cons and Our Pathetic Hack Media

Unlike many people, I don't think the media hacks who cover politics in this country are part of a shadowy Con conspiracy.

I just think many of them are not too bright, they live in the inbred village of Ottawa, where reality rarely intrudes, and little is BIG.

They know most media organizations are in trouble, their jobs are on the line, their big bosses want corporate tax cuts, so who are they to rock the boat?

But holy Big Brother, surely this column by John Ibbitson is his master's voice. 

Julian Fantino and the Mediocrity of the Cons

I will never forget the look on Julian Fantino's face, the day he first took the loyalty oath to Stephen Harper, and became a Con cabinet minister.

He looked stunned, as if he still couldn't believe it.  

The Great Fantino, the Crime Busting Crusader, the copo de tutti, had been humiliated beyond belief.

Boss Harper had betrayed him.

The Rise and the Fall of Bev Oda

Oh no. I see Bev Oda has taken her last long limo ride.

The kind of ride the Con mob gives you when you become a liability. First comes the horse's head, then the scenic limo ride, in the middle of the night. And then da cement shoes.

Bev Oda, the CIDA minister whose spending habits raised the hackles of the Harper government, announced she was quitting politics after insiders cautioned her she would not survive a cabinet shuffle, according to a source familiar with the matter.

And after that of course, come the flowers, the crocodile tears, and the touching tributes.

Speaking Truth to Power in Harperland

I think this cartoon in the Toronto Star neatly sums up what Stephen Harper did on Parliament Hill the other day.

Turn a celebration of Canada, into a shameless and grotesque celebration of HIMSELF.

Declaring outrageously that his Con regime was "caring and compassionate." Wading into a select crowd of admirers who greeted him like a rock star...

Stephen Harper and the Conada Day Horror Show

I tuned into the Canada Day show on Parliament Hill today just as they were playing God Save The Queen. 

And just in time to see Great Patriotic Leader proclaim that we should all be happy and proud to be Canadians.

In his remarks, Harper told the crowd that Canadians have much for which to be proud and thankful. "Proud of a strong and growing economy, proud of a caring and compassionate society...

Which made me laugh so loudly, I expelled a large piece of bagel with such force it flew through the air and hit the TV screen just below his left nostril. Which was disgusting but strangely appropriate. Even if it was the wrong nose hole.