Ahmadinejad, Gays in Iran, and the Hidden Imam

I'm glad nobody took a picture of me today as I watched the crazy dwarf Ahmadinejad blathering away at Columbia University. Because they would have caught me with my mouth open. As in HUH? Or WTF?

It was that surrealistic.

Starting with the warm welcome he got from his hosts.

"I feel the weight of the modern civilized world yearning to express the revulsion at what you stand for,"

Continuing with his deranged ravings about the holocaust, women in Iran, and other nonsense.

And climaxing with his astonishing statement.....that that there aren't any gay people in Iran.

"In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country....In Iran we do not have this phenomenon......I do not know who has told you we have it."

Sure they don't. Just the ones they have beaten.

















Or hanged.












Which to cap the surrealism of it all... was greeted with loud laughter.

Although the plight of Iran's gay people is of course desperate.

The good news in all of this? Would you believe a man who says there are no gays in Iran....if he tells you he doesn't want to build a nuclear bomb?

After this nobody else will either. You can thank the poor gays of Iran for that.

The REALLY bad news? Ahmadinejad's deranged ravings about Iran's hidden gay people reminded me that he is a religious fanatic who believes in a bloodthirsty version of the Hidden Imam.

The most remarkable aspect of Mr Ahmadinejad's piety is his devotion to the Hidden Imam, the Messiah-like figure of Shia Islam, and the president's belief that his government must prepare the country for his return.

One of the first acts of Mr Ahmadinejad's government was to donate about £10 million to the Jamkaran mosque, a popular pilgrimage site where the pious come to drop messages to the Hidden Imam into a holy well.

He is said to have gone into "occlusion" in the ninth century, at the age of five. His return will be preceded by cosmic chaos, war and bloodshed. After a cataclysmic confrontation with evil and darkness, the Mahdi will lead the world to an era of universal peace.

Mr Ahmadinejad appears to believe that these events are close at hand and that ordinary mortals can influence the divine timetable.

The unspoken question is this: is Mr Ahmadinejad now tempting a clash with the West because he feels safe in the belief of the imminent return of the Hidden Imam? Worse, might he be trying to provoke chaos in the hope of hastening his reappearance?

Isn't that terrific? The insane Dick Cheney on one side lusting for war. And the crazy religious fanatic Ahmadinejad on the other hoping for The Apocalypse.

All of which leads...in my mind at least... to an obvious question. If we can't convince Dicko to go hunting and hopefully shoot HIMSELF this time. And must just hope that one of his many spare parts breaks down....before everything else does.

Do you think we could convince the crazy fascist dwarf Ahmadinejad to dive head first into that well in Jamkaran? And if he won't jump...do you think we could arrange for somebody to push him?

I mean if he can't see Iran's hidden homosexuals.

Maybe he can find his Imam. Before it's too late.

For all of us...