It's the kind of request that would have made poor old Vincent Van Gogh cut off his other ear.
Donald Trump writing to the Guggenheim Museum to ask if he could borrow Van Gogh's Landscape With Snow, to hang in his private quarters.
Fortunately the museum said sorry, no can do.
But did offer to lend him something even better.
A shiny gold toilet called America.
The emailed response from the Guggenheim’s chief curator to the White House was polite but firm: The museum could not accommodate a request to borrow a painting by Vincent van Gogh for President and Melania Trump’s private living quarters.
The curator’s alternative: an 18-karat, fully functioning, solid gold toilet — an interactive work titled “America” that critics have described as pointed satire aimed at the excess of wealth in this country.
If Trump would accept it, because as you know he's finicky about where he plants his fat ass.
On the face of it, President Trump might appreciate an artist’s rendering of a gilded toilet, given his well-documented history of installing gold-plated fixtures in his residences, his properties and even his airplane. But the president is also a self-described germaphobe, and it’s an open question whether he would accept a previously used toilet, 18-karat or otherwise.
And he has his own gold toilet...
Or as some like to call it Trump's throne.
The place where he gets all his Make America Great ideas...
And excretes all his major decisions.
So maybe he'd prefer one of Maurizio Cattelan's other creations.
Cattelan, 57, is well known in the art world for his satirical and provocative creations, including a sculpture depicting Pope John Paul II lying on the ground after being hit by a meteorite. Another was a child-size sculpture of an adult Adolf Hitler, kneeling.
Especially, the Hitler one...
For obvious reasons.
Or maybe he'd like this just as fascist, but more Make America Great Again version...
Although if it was up to me, and knowing that he's terrified of sharks.
I'd offer him this painting...
Or since I also know that Trump doesn't have an artistic bone in his body, or an ounce of class.
Maybe we should just send him this primitive...um...masterpiece.
And tell him it's the Mona Lisa, and it's worth BILLIONS.
Still, on a serious note, when I think of how Trump has apparently volunteered to allow Robert Mueller to question him under oath.
And I think how Mueller must be feeling after finding out that Trump tried to fire him.
President Trump ordered the firing last June of Robert S. Mueller III, the special counsel overseeing the Russia investigation, according to four people told of the matter, but ultimately backed down after the White House counsel threatened to resign rather than carry out the directive.
Maybe the gold toilet is the best choice, because that's where Trump is going.
Before he goes here...
Oh and one more thing...
Don't forget to send Trump a LOT of toilet paper eh?
Because from now on his story is probably going to get REALLY messy.
And I think he's going to need it...
Still a better president than the brutal African dictator Barry Soetoro.
ReplyDeleteRacist jerk. You'd rather have a Russian dictator by way of New York than a sensible centrist who by all accounts had his administration's goals for "hope and change" stymied by the deranged Tea Party insurgency and the intransigient Greedy Old Plutocrats in Congress? 'Course you would. You're such a pathetic loser that nothing makes you happy except tearing down successful people who you believe should be your "lessers" because of their skin color, gender, sexual orientation or nationality. Or punching down and kicking your jack(ass) boots against marginalized and oppressed people who you don't want to have a share of the pie.
DeleteGo back to whatever basement you crawled out of, troll. I feel bad for your mom; she must have to wash your stained white sheets every day and throw out all those fake-news Trump magazines that have the pages all stuck together. Maybe she'll join the Resistance and kick your sorry ass out on the street. All you and your cheese-coated surrender monkey have done so far is Make America Gross Again and take credit for things that Obama did manage to accomplish because even despite Republican stonewalling, he did actually know how to govern for all the people -- even the ones who, like you, hated him for no valid reason and still do. Not just a dwindling sliver of gun-toting, toothless morons who flunked out of grade 4 Bible homeschool, which is the only thing the Trumpublicans have left. That and the billionaire class who's robbing them and everyone else blind by pitting "them against us" as a distraction tactic so no one will see who the real enemy is. Go look up what Lyndon Johnson said about the poorest white man needing a black man to kick so that they won't unite together and tear down the parasites who really only care about the color green.
That economic recovery was Obama's and Trump is on his way to ruining it. Just like the surplus was Clinton's and Bush hemorrhaged the whole country by putting two pointless wars on a credit card, mortgaging Social Security to pay for it, and letting bank fraudsters get away with shorting the market so they could cut their losses and leave everyone else holding the bag.
You have nothing to be proud of whatsoever, Proud Boy, and neither does your deplorable party. I award you no points, and may Dog have mercy on your soul.
Way to go Jackie!! Thanks for putting that Trump troll in his place. Anyone who compares the super classy Obama to that greaser Trump has got to be as low as he is. I bet that dumb Trump sucker doesn't know what hit him. :p
DeleteTroll sits there in his underwear after reading Jackie's comment. Small brown stain grows bigger and bigger. Troll starts sobbing and wonders "why don't women love me?"Neighbour sticks his head through the window and shouts "go take a bath loser!"
DeleteHA HA HA HA save some of that Trump toilet paper for that racist troll : < 0
DeleteHi anon@9:20 AM...I have to admit I had to Google Barry Soetoro to find out what you are talking about. Only to discover that it's some birther garbage about Barack Obama having attended Columbia university as a foreign student under that name. And of course it was just "fake news."
Deletehttps://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/birthers/studentid.asp
Honestly, what is wrong with you scummy racists? I know you have extra large fear glands in your brains, and I'm sympathetic. But what makes you lie all the time? Have you no shame? I bet if Trump sat down on his golden throne, the moment he got up you'd be fighting each other for a chance to lick it. Gawd, you freaks are pathetic...
hi Jackie...let me join the others in congratulating you for a first rate putdown of that pathetic troll. There are so many good lines in your comment, that if I had to choose the best I wouldn't know where to start. That poor troll must be crawling across the floor on all four, calling for his mummy, and screaming "Mummy Mummy Jackie hit me with a two by four !!!! "
DeleteKeep up the good work General Blue and show those scumbags no mercy...
hi anon@4:17PM...I don't normally allow comments that talk about trolls who walk around in their underwear. It's an image that can give decent people nightmares. But I judged your contribution to have literary merit. So congratulations, and keep up the good work !!!!
DeleteYes, the Van Gogh is just to look "cultured". It is so low-key and understated, just a man walking across a field with his dog - and I don't think Shithole even likes pets. I can feel the crunch of the snow over the stubble left after the harvest, and the dog's happiness to have his/her human all to him or herself.
ReplyDeleteI was wondering where the painting was set as the colours look like the south of France but the land is as flat as the artist's native Netherlands. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landscape_with_Snow
The entry also includes other Van Gogh snow paintings; of course there was a lot more snow in the low countries than on plains in the South of France.
The golden toilet is perfect.
I think the toilet fits him perfectly too, but it reminds me of a rather infamous Duchamp piece, and I don't think he deserves to be awarded any semblance of "culture" at all. That includes Dadaist absurdism, dogs playing poker, the severed-leg floor lamp from A Christmas Story, or even the vacuum cleaner parts that Jeff Koons probably buys in bulk on eBay for $20 or picks up at a junkyard and somehow manages to make millions off showcasing as "modern art."
DeletePersonally, I would have commissioned the blind restoration artist who ruined the Christian fresco by making it look like a monkey. Or I'd hire that guy who did the Virgin Mary painting that caused such a firestorm in New York back in the '80s, to smear elephant dung and maybe Cheetos dust all over Trump's ridiculously idealized portrait hanging up at Mar-a-Lago (seriously, go look at this thing, it's The Portrait of Dorian Orange — whoever painted it made him look like an Aryan-model Cary Grant) and maybe dip it in a bucket of pee.
That seems to be his thing anyway, right? Call it, what else? From Russia With Love. Might as well include a copy of the book about him that Dostoevsky wrote: The Idiot.
Hi Lagatta...yes. it's a beautiful painting and one of the many Van Gogh's painted in Arles, before suffering a mental breakdown. And of course it's far too nice to be anywhere in Trump's private quarters. Like you I also wondered why Trump would choose that one when he hates dogs, or any kind of pets, so much. But yes, as I said in my post, Nancy Spector, the curator, is my new Resistance hero...
DeleteHi Jackie...what a wonderful source of interesting information you are, I hadn't heard of the Duchamp piece, but I did think of using that ruined Christian fresco. I have a version I made with Stephen Harper's head instead of the Christ, but I thought it might bring back some memories best forgotten. 👻
DeleteHowever, I still like the gold toilet. I remember the first time I found out that Trump had a gold toilet on his plane, and it blew my mind. For me, in a perfect world, that should have been enough to disqualify him from being President. But there are so many things that beast has normalized, I welcome anything that reminds us of how far from normality and decency we have travelled. Also as we enter year two of Trump I sense that some on our side are becoming slightly discouraged. That's why I found that Women's March so great, and I think a good laugh now and then is just what the doctor ordered. We shall march, we shall fight, we shall curse, we shall laugh, all the way to victory...
Quite fitting substitute for the Van Gogh since
ReplyDeleteit's where his presidency is going!
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David Toronto
Hi David...as I told the others I can't think of a better substitute for that Van Gogh. It works on so many levels. The gold toilet, the name America, the symbol of where he is taking his country. And hopefully, as you say, a symbol of the place where he is going...
DeleteI gotta give him props for asking for a Van Gough.
ReplyDeleteHi Steve...I give Trump no credit for that. Melania must have seen the picture in some fashion magazine. Unless Trump misheard the name and thought it was Van Dough...😉
DeleteMelania would have been far more likely to know about Van Gogh. Not that she is any sort of intellectual, but schools in Europe insist on basic cultural knowledge, and while we know about the inexcusable repression and censorship present even in the former Yugoslavia (though Tito, while a dictator, was a hell of a long way from Stalin - and remember that he ridded his country of both Hitler and Stalin), but the educational system was very serious about culture, music, the arts.
DeleteSlovenia is a pretty and pleasant little country; I was there very briefly when I was studying in northeastern Italy, when it was still part of Yugoslavia.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-17846376
This is of course tourist publicity, but Slovenia has developed quite the green reputation and has copied and adapted the best cycling infrastructure from Denmark and the Netherlands: https://www.slovenia.info/en
I think he'll take the toilet Simon even though it is used. The self described germaphobe would have it scrubbed and sanitized for hours and then probably go and get kissy faced and have unprotected sex with a porn star. Go figure.
ReplyDeleteHe does have an unusual penchant where gold is concerned. Gold trim, gold plated toilets, gold curtains, golden showers. Speaking of which, his Russian prostitute/girlfriend, Ivana Tinkle, would love that toilet.
Seriously, when Mueller is done with Trump, the bloated orange will need the extra toilet.
JD
Hi JD...I remember early in the Trump campaign his butler gave a TV station a tour of Trump's home, and it was all gold and mirrors. It was so tacky I could hardly believe my eyes. It was something I'd expect to see in the home of some Russian oligarch, but not in a home in America. I can only hope that when Mueller finally nails him for obstruction of justice, somebody will paint the stainless steel toilet in his cell a bright gold colour. For that I would pay to see...👮🏻
DeleteHey Russian oligarchs have taste. Comparing them to Trump surely hurts them.
DeleteOn a more serious note, seeing a Van Gogh in real life is amazing. The colours just radiate.
Yes, they are wonderful. Where I used to semi-work/semi-volunteer in Amsterdam was in the Museum Quarter and the Van Gogh museum is among them, along with the Rijksmuseum, the Concert Hall and some other museums.
Delete(This is for an NGO - I get a stipend, but as in student pay, not my professional rate. I also get the trip, room, board and interesting conversation).
If you ever move to Scotland, you can take rail and a ferry to the Netherlands... Thanks to Mark Smith, the "Man in seat 61": www.seat61.com
hi jrkrideau...well SOME Russian oligarchs have taste. But some are like the nouveau riche everywhere. But yes, poor Van Gogh. That was one of his first paintings after he got off the train from Paris. He was looking to escape the craziness of the city and find peace. For a while it worked, and he produced one painting after the other. But after a year he had a mental breakdown, and it was the beginning of the end...
Delete"But after a year he had a mental breakdown, and it was the beginning of the end..."
DeleteThat sounds like what Trump's epitaph will be Simon. I hope.
JD
The chief curator of the Guggenheim Museum just became my latest Resistance hero. Offering to send Trump a gold toilet called America is brilliant on so many levels. We are going to need a good sense of humour to get through the Trump nightmare, And the curator's toilet and Simon's Mona Lisa had me roaring with laughter. Thank you both!
ReplyDeleteHi anon...thank you, I wish I could claim credit for that Mona Lisa, but I can't for two reasons. One, I got it from the reader of a big American blog. And two, I come from a family of very talented and very serious artists and they would disown me. What I will say, as I told Jackie, is that we need to hang on to our sense of humour if we are going to get through the Trump years....
ReplyDeleteThe Golden Throne award is appropriate for a president with such an uncanny Sadim touch. Although much of what he does is just pure crap he has had other ideas such as reducing Americas involvement in promoting strategic conflict in far away lands that started out as desirable but turned into more brown ooze as time went on. The caricature of a fevered miner madly digging for the next gold nugget at the base of a golden throne while filling a poorly constructed tailings pond to the brim with toxic excrement suits him, that is unless he botches the Kim file. To date his track record is not good, the strategic thinkers wind him up and point him in a direction; then at the last instant the Sadim touch kicks in and it all goes into the golden crapper. Just hope its over before he manages to flush a few million lives.
ReplyDeleteRT
hi RT...yes it's a strange situation. Or a mad one. The Midas who lives in a gold palace, and sits on a golden throne, but everything he touches eventually turns to shite. A man who claimed he wanted to end or reduce America's military adventures, but is actually making plans to step them up. Stepping up the war in Assghanistan, and announcing that U.S. troops will stay in Syria FOREVER. I can only hope that the suckers who voted for him are blowing their brains out all over the United States, for that is what they deserve for threatening our very existence...
DeleteGuess what you thoroughly UNSTABLE dotard? Bob Mueller is comin' for you ;)
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/SpikedCranium/status/950734236180459522
Person of the Year
ReplyDeletehttps://goo.gl/images/lrG2RW
Prison in a Year
ReplyDeletehttps://catcherinthelie.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/czsyo9kucaiytpw.jpg?w=1120&h=1493.
When reading about his request for the Van Gough being turned down, with a replacement suggestion, couldn't keep from laughing. Its a riot actually. Huff Post advised W.H. has not responded to the suggested replacement. omg this is funny. The museum must have a good sense of humour...........
ReplyDeleteOne simply can not have works of art around a boer like Trump and the crowd he runs with. It might be stolen, damaged, etc. He only knows the price of everything, but the value of nothing.
Today (Jan. 30) a reporter for CNN said, just before Trump's State of the Union Address, that Trump has a 40% approval rating. Why that high? I think one reason is Americans give Trump a pass on his constant lying and disgusting behaviour because they like the next tax cuts that have recently kicked in.
ReplyDeleteTIME magazine: Puppet of the Year
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C7Y9h2qVoAA0B92.jpg
https://www.cnn.com/2018/01/29/politics/trump-russia-sanctions/index.html
The Trump administration has declined to impose sanctions against companies and foreign countries doing business with blacklisted Russian defense and intelligence entities. The administration was required by law to name the companies and individuals Monday and possibly sanction them under a 2016 law meant to punish Russia for its interference in the 2016 US election as well as its human rights violations annexation of Crimea and ongoing military operations in eastern Ukraine.
An Article of Impeachment Against Donald J. Trump
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/28/opinion/impeachment-donald-trump.html
[snip]
When the framers were debating impeachment at the Constitutional Convention, "George Mason asked: “Shall any man be above justice?”
The same question faces us now: Can a president use the power of his office to hold himself above the law? Trump is unlikely to face impeachment anytime soon or perhaps anytime at all. But it’s time for all of us— voters, members of Congress, Trump’s own staff— to be honest about what he’s done. He has obstructed justice.
He may not be finished doing so, either.
Two letters in response:
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/29/opinion/trump-impeachment.html
10 Ways Trump Has Obstructed Justice
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/01/29/opinion/trump-impeachment-obstruction-justice.html
David