Tonight the Con leadership candidates, all fourteen of them, will converge on the Roger's Centre in Edmonton for the last debate of their long and dismal campaign.
And already things are going horribly wrong.
In fact, to borrow a line from the Lion in Winter, if pigs could fly there would be pork in the trees.
Because for starters, Mr Marvellous won't be there.
I spent much of the weekend trying to recover from a big exam, and get away from the horror of Trump. I slept a lot. I kept to myself. I really needed a break.
As Andrew Sullivan recently wrote, one can only take so much insanity.
"It’s just a matter of human endurance. You have to breathe at some point, to pace yourself, to find more spaces in your life and your soul where Trump cannot invade. There are only so many “truthful hyperboles” or tweet storms a person can withstand."
Or so much of this...
I must admit I was amused to see Kevin O'Leary claim that he could get most of the millennials in Canada to support him.
And make him the country's next prime minister.
When every millennial I know thinks he's just another Con clown, who should be flushed like all the others.
O'Leary's last chance to impress them came and went about forty years ago.
I know it's an optical illusion, but the more Donald Trump rants and raves, the more his stature seems to shrink.
He's trying to convince Americans that the media is more dangerous than the Russians.
So it's not really surprising that a day after he called the "fake news" media the "enemies of the people," he's decided NOT to attend the White House Press Correspondent's Dinner.
And he's bitter.
For years, during the dark days of the Harper regime, the Manning Centre Conference was an event where the Cons went to brag about how they were changing Canada beyond recognition.
And building a New Conservative Movement that would rule this country for a generation.
But not any longer.
Now that the Cons have hit rock bottom, so has the Manning Conference.
Saturday Night Live likes to portray Steve Bannon, Donald Trump's chief strategist, as the Grim Reaper.
And the real president of the United States.
But now that Bannon has emerged from the shadows, and outlined his master plan for total Trump domination, I think SNL's portrayal is far too generous.
I don't have much time to blog today, but I do need to say this before I rush off into the crazy world that we have made for ourselves.
At a time when Donald Trump is apparently preparing to reverse protections for transgender students.
At a time when our own Cons can't bring themselves to use the word Islamophobia, even after the horror of that mosque massacre in Quebec City.
At a time when it seems that right-wing bullies are out of control all over the world, I'm glad that today is Pink Shirt Day.
I have always despised Milo Yiannopoulos so much, I can barely write about him without feeling like throwing up.
He is an alt-right clown, a grotesque misogynist, a bigot and a bully if ever there was one, a man who calls Donald Trump "Daddy."
And from my personal perspective, the gay equivalent of an Uncle Tom.
So I must admit I couldn't be more delighted by the fate that has befallen him.
Donald Trump has now been president for a full month, and already his presidency seems to be falling apart.
His ratings are falling like a stone, psychiatrists can't decide whether he's mentally ill or just senile.
And the Swedes are wondering what he's been smoking.
So the obvious question is, how can we get rid of him?
I didn't watch the latest Con leadership debate in Vancouver yesterday afternoon, for two very good reasons.
One, I couldn't find it on any TV channel I get, or anywhere on the dark internet.
And two, it was too nice and warm outside to waste even an hour of my life.
Which turned out to be a good call, because the debate was a total farce.
As you know, when I heard that Kellie Leitch had described Ezra Levant's latest bigot fest as a meeting of "severely normal people" I was naturally sceptical.
For how could anyone call a meeting organized by Levant and his scummy Rebel gang, and starring four Con candidates, and the bloated homophobe Charles McVety, anything but a freak show?
But then a reader sent me a video of the sordid event and I was absolutely horrified.
When I was a very small boy I used to dream of driving a bus, and the bigger the better.
But it didn't take me very long to realize that the job wasn't as glamorous as I had imagined.
And that I probably would never have the skill or the patience to be a good driver.
Which was just as well because it turned out the job could also be dangerous.
So I really can't understand why the Cons behaved so badly in the House of Commons the other day.
It should be obvious by now that there is something terribly wrong with Donald Trump.
This deranged tweet he fired off yesterday is only more evidence of that.
For in a normal world he would have been arrested for inciting violence against the media.
And then there was that bizarre press conference.
This is how the Cons would like us to imagine them. As the kind of party that would send out a Valentine card like that one.
Inviting us to bee their friends.
But of course, the Cons and the truth don't go as well together as honey and peanut butter.
And this is who they really are.
It's hard to believe, it couldn't be more ugly, or less Canadian.
But just two weeks after a white supremacist killed six Muslims in a Quebec City mosque, and wounded eight others.
A group of Con leadership candidates attended a foul rally in Toronto last night to denounce a government motion aimed at doing more to fight Islamophobia.
If the Mad King Donald thought that Mad Mike Flynn's sudden departure would end his so-called "RussIan problem," it appears he was sadly deluded.
For that problem just keeps getting bigger and bigger.
Dan Rather is now comparing it to the Watergate scandal, and calling for an independent investigation.
"Damn the lies, full throttle forward on the truth ... We deserve answers and those who are complicit in this scandal need to feel the full force of justice."
And as for the Mad King Donald, he's growing angrier and angrier.
He must have been nervous when he left Ottawa early yesterday morning to go and see Donald Trump.
He knew he would be dealing with a maniac, and that one false step could cost Canada millions of jobs.
But when the time came, Justin Trudeau made it look easy.
We know that Donald Trump is a ghastly beast, one who resembles the porky Napoleon in Orwell's Animal Farm.
The one who betrays the other animals, like Trump is betraying millions of Americans including many of his own supporters...
But it's not just people he's threatening to kill.
He's going after all kinds of other creatures who share this world with us.
As you may know, I have absolutely no respect for Rona Ambrose, the monstrous leader of the Harper Party.
I can't forget how that cruel Con put her inhuman ideology before the lives of some of the most vulnerable people in this country.
By trying to close down the Insite clinic in Vancouver, and making it almost impossible to set up others like it in the rest of Canada.
Even though she knew they could have saved the lives of thousands of Canadians addicted to dangerous drugs like heroin and fentanyl.
Well now the ghastly Ambrose is going after the mentally ill.
I must confess that after only three weeks of President Donald Trump, I am being forced to contemplate a horrible possibility:
I might go completely bonkers before he does.
Because although at the present time he has a good lead over me...
According to the resistance INSIDE the White House.
I don't know how much more of Trump or Kellyanne Conway I can take...
The other day I said that I had been struck by the strange way Rona Ambrose had been behaving. How she had practically gone to ground.
After accusing Justin Trudeau of being unable to "resist the billionaire lifestyle" by vacationing at the Aga Khan's private island.
Only to have it revealed that she had been attacking him, while sailing through the Caribbean on a billionaire's yacht.
And now that observation has been confirmed.
Scotland is a small, peaceful country, but one with a proud history of resistance dating back about two thousand years.
The people of that land have had to battle all kinds of invaders, from the Roman legions of the Emperor Hadrian, to in more modern times, the vulgar presence of the mad would be Emperor Donald Trump.
So these days when we too are called to resist him, and all can appear so dark and gloomy.
I thought you might enjoy Samantha Bee's humorous look at the original Trump haters.
If you see Kellie Leitch galloping past you screaming hysterically, don't panic.
She's not warning us about an American invasion, or warning us that Kevin O'Leary has left his home in Boston and coming after the job she craves so badly.
It's just her way of telling us how incredibly happy she is.
It's not like it was impossible to predict what might happen when the Trump mob took over the White House.
Or guess that they might make the Sopranos look like angels.
So who can be surprised that the stench of corruption now hangs heavily in the air?
And that el capo de tutti is now totally out of control.
I must admit I didn't think that anything that happened in Syria could shock me more than it already has.
The more than 400,000 dead, the countless wounded and traumatized, the sea of desperate refugees, the indifference of the world.
But if Amnesty International is right about what has been happening at the Saydnaya military prison in Damascus, it must surely be what it has been called "the worst place on earth."
Much has been written recently about Steve Bannon, Donald Trump's closest adviser, and the man many believe is the real president of the United States.
The alt-right fanatic who believes that an apocalyptic "cleansing war" is coming, and is obsessed with global destruction.
But did you know that Bannon's fascist tentacles also reach into the Vatican?
For weeks Rona Ambrose has been attacking Justin Trudeau for taking a helicopter ride to the Aga Khan's private island, instead of swimming there.
But not any longer.
Yesterday in Question Period she was a mute as a carp.
And with good reason.
When you see the way some of Europe's most respectable magazines are portraying Donald Trump, you get a pretty good idea what many Europeans think of him.
For their covers couldn't be more brutal or more incendiary.
I think it's safe to say that Donald Trump had a lousy Saturday night. And either ended up climbing the golden drapes in his Mar-a-Lago estate, or rolling on the floor and biting the carpet.
For he's been ranting and raving and going after another judge for daring to block his bigoted travel ban. And getting nowhere.
The thousands of noisy demonstrators laying siege to his estate must have him shoving not one but two tiny fingers in each hairy ear.
And when he watched Saturday Night Live he must have exploded.
It's fashionable to compare to Donald Trump to Big Brother in Orwell's 1984. And there are some disturbing similarities.
President Trump on Friday moved to chisel away at the Obama administration’s legacy on financial regulation, announcing steps to revisit the rules enacted after the 2008 financial crisis and to back away from a measure intended to protect consumers from bad investment advice.
For who else but Big Brother would accuse Hillary Clinton of being too close to Wall Street and Goldman Sachs? Only to hand Goldman Sachs the keys to the White House.
And give the billionaires on Wall Street everything they ever wanted.
As you know the Con leadership circus has not one but two second third-rate Donald Trump impersonators.
But I'm sorry to report that after this week's ghastly show, both Kevin O'Leary and Kellie Leitch have been demoted.
And will now march in with the clowns.
I must admit I thought that warnings like that one would ensure that every progressive in America would walk or crawl to the polls, in order to stop Donald Trump from setting fire to the world.
But sadly I was wrong. Many progressives didn't bother to vote. Others wasted their votes on third parties, or fought each other instead of the real enemy.
So the monstrous orange oaf was elected president.
And now he's declaring war on one country after the other.
He's only been in office a short time, but already Donald Trump is setting the world on fire.
Along with his grubby adviser Steve Bannon, the man many believe is the real president, he has been causing chaos all over the world, triggering huge demonstrations all over America.
And the Republicans in Congress aren't even trying to restrain him, because they've sold their souls to the devil, or the monster...
