10:33 -- OMG he's HERE !!! He's walking past a line of mounties with the Governor General. He's so cool, she's so gorgeous...the third mountie from the right is so HOT. I'm LOVING this already !!!
10:40 -- But wait what's this? Oh no..... it's Stockwell Day....DORIS!!! And he's going on about how Harper and Obama have a lot in common. Bullshit. They couldn't be MORE different. Obama HATES Harper for being a Bush RepubliCon who tried to sabotage his campaign. And this brief visit is his way of telling Harper that he has NO TIME for him. Doris you idiot.
10:45 -- They're back...the GG and Obama. But she's holding her audience in...in...in...the Ottawa AIRPORT !!!!! *Gasp* That bastard Harper. I guess this is his way of humiliating her for threatening to hand power to the Coalition. The only way he could humiliate her more than this would be to put her throne on a baggage carousel and have her go round and round.
11:42 -- Now we're on Parliament Hill. It's all grey and horrible. Obama is getting out of the tank limo. Harper is standing there looking like a Walmart greeter. But wait....this is GREAT !!! I just heard Obama tell Great Leader that he would like to wave at the crowd and now he's doing it !!! The frozen hosers are going wild. Harper looks sick. So much for his plans to try to be the STAR of the Big Tiny Obama Show.
11:45 -- Now they're going down a hall so full of flags it looks like it was decorated by Leni Riefenstahl. Obama is skipping along...Harper looks like Mr Ploddy. OMG. I admit I hate Great Pig Leader but this is HUMILIATING.
11:46 -- Oh no it just got WORSE. The Big O is signing a book surrounded by people dressed up in 18th Century costumes. Between the castle on the hill and these guys the American idiots are going to think we're a monarchy...or Disneyland.
11:50 -- Now they're in Harper's office...ALONE. All Obama would agree to is TEN minutes. And I don't know what's going on. But after listening to Doris I can imagine.....
HARPER: Well Barack...I hear you're a pretty good basketball player. Hey isn't that amazing? We DO have something in common. So am I. Love the game always have. I'm going to write a book on it, after I finish the one on hockey.
OBAMA: (looking up from his blackberry) You WHAT bitch? You wanna play a little pickup so I can whup your fat Bush ass for trying to fuck my campaign?
HARPER: Uh no...sorry Mr President...I'm so sorry I really am. I aggravated an old football injury the other day... But I'll have you know I'm a pretty good rear end.
OBAMA: Ughhhhhhh. Wanna talk about...um..NAFTA?
12:30 pm I think they went for lunch. I hope the Secret Service brought its own food tasters.
2:30 pm Now they are holding a newser....and something is terribly wrong. Harper is introducing him in French...even though Obama clearly doesn't understand a WORD. How rude. And now Obama is so rattled he just said "It's great to be here in Iowa...er....Ottawa."
2:35 pm-- Oh boy. There are only four questions...but this getting BORING.
2:37 pm-- But wait...somebody just asked Obama about NAFTA...and he looked REALLY uncomfortable. I guess he got a flashback about how Harper and his Cons tried to screw him. Uh Oh. Now Harper is speaking directly to Americans and telling them to buy Canadian. Somebody stop him before he ruins what's left of our economy !!!
3:00 pm -- Damn I missed the end. How can my boss expect me to work today? Obama is on his way to the airport...where the opposition is apparently being held in a hangar.
3:30 pm -- Oh wait it's NOT over. Now Obama is in a mall...buying cookies in some horrible store. And the people are going wild shouting yes we can.... or just screaming. This is the BEST !!!
3:31 pm -- Oh god no. The cookie guy wouldn't allow Obama to pay for them. But then got so rattled he forgot to give him a bag...so the President of the United States had to carry them away in a napkin. Please whatever we do ....the next time he comes here...can we make it ANYWHERE but Ottawa?
5:15 pm -- I'm home. Michael Ignatieff is on TV and it turns out he got to spend MORE time alone with Obama than Harper did. Muahahahaha. I guess that was the message he wanted to send us eh?
If you want to see more of me...you know what you've got to do with that hideous Con Harper.
Yes we do Mr President. Yes we can. I think.
Even in Canada.
Hope is EVERYTHING...
I thought Mr. Harper looked like a fuddy duddy but Mr. Ploddy is fine.
ReplyDeleteI should say "PM" Harper but it is difficult for me to say it.
Mr. Ploddy reminds me of Mr. Floatie in Victoria,BC
ReplyDeleteBut she's holding her audience in...in...in...the Ottawa AIRPORT !!!!! *Gasp* That bastard Harper. I guess this is his way of humiliating her for threatening to hand power to the Coalition. The only way he could humiliate her more than this would be to put her throne on a baggage carousel and have her go round and round.
ReplyDeleteYou had me howling with laughter so loud that I scared the cat!
Yes Beijing York! That was totally hilarious.Maybe Simon could actually make an animated version of this.
ReplyDeleteBut it also reminds me how UNFAIR i think it is that we never got to hear that conversation between Harper and the GG while we all waited for hours it seemed for him to come out and give his version.