Donald Trump and the Orange Mystery of the White House

As soon as he stepped out of Air Force One at the Palm Beach International airport, Donald Trump couldn't hold back his joy.

After more than a month in freezing grey Washington, he was back at his beloved Mar-A-Lago.

Free to play golf and work on his tan.

Except that while his golf game is probably a little rusty.

His tan is already picture perfect.



Yes, it's true. As orange as a Florida orchard, as red as a monkey's behind.

But don't try to find out how he does it, because apparently it's a state secret. 

In a town where not even the longtime operation of the federal government seems certain, Mr. Trump has adhered to one constant: a conspicuously sun-kissed glow, one that has shone like a stoplight against Washington’s graying backdrop. Much like Warhol’s shock of white hair or Big Bird’s saffron plumage, the president’s vibrant hue is so consistently present and meticulously maintained that it was a culturally embedded representation of him long before he entered politics.

The official line from the White House, as with other matters surrounding the president’s physical health and appearance, is that Mr. Trump’s glow is the result of “good genes,” according to a senior administration official who would speak only on the condition of anonymity.

So is there a tanning bed hidden somewhere in the White House as James Comey once suggested?

The president’s “face appeared slightly orange,” Mr. Comey wrote in his memoir, “with bright white half-moons under his eyes where I assumed he placed small tanning goggles.”

And does Trump spend as much time fixing his face, as he does fixing his hair?



Trump has repeatedly documented the act of self-styling his coif, a process he has not strayed from in decades. His system includes a Head & Shoulders shampoo and an hourlong air-drying of the strands while he peruses newspapers or watches television. And tweets.

I guess the only way to find out what really happening is to get a job at the White House.

But as Family Guy found out, that could be dangerous...



But wait there's more. 

If you thought the scenes of Trump swirling his hair around like a gorgon, or Justin Trudeau flying off on two Canada geese was funny, there's also this:

The religious fanatics and uber homophobic One Million Moms think that episode is disgusting.

Fox’s “Family Guy” is encouraging violence, and almost every scene is filled with crude language, sexual innuendos, implications, or graphic encounters. It is almost impossible to describe the depth of depravity found in the Fox program "Family Guy." No child should be subjected to this vulgar content in this outrageous show

So let me get this straight. One Million Moms will enthusiastically fanatically support the sleazy, misogynistic, pussy grabber, but they want to censor a cartoon?

Oh boy. Only in America  

Or in Andrew Scheer's Canada...



Let's make absolutely sure THAT never happens here.

And have a great weekend everybody..