Con Millionaire: The Selling of Stephen Harper

As you may have heard, Stephen Harper is finally gainfully employed again, after getting paid to do nothing for so long.

And although he hasn't yet asked Big Oil for a job, he's clearly got plans to become a very rich man.

For not only does he have his own consulting business, he has joined Dentons the world's largest law firm. 

Which as you can see has made him very, very, happy.

I’m very pleased to announce that my firm, Harper & Associates, is launching a strategic affiliation with @Dentons. pic.twitter.com/tw9tOunKqV

— Stephen Harper (@stephenharper) September 12, 2016

Because there is nothing he enjoys more than selling himself like a used car salesman.

And although I can't help feeling that Dentons is getting less than it imagines.

“Dentons’ clients will benefit immeasurably from Mr. Harper’s exceptional skills and experience with getting deals done at the critical intersection of business, government and cross-border relations,” the firm’s global chairman, Joseph Andrew, said in a statement.

Because if Harper had "exceptional skills" I never noticed them.

But then Dentons' clients include the Chinese Communist Party, so I'm sure he'll be good for something...



Considering how faithfully he served China's interests during his term in office.

But that's not all. Harper is also joining the board of the giant real estate company Colliers International.

“I am looking forward to working with Colliers to further its growth in global markets, capitalize on its leadership position in the commercial real estate services sector, and continue its proven track record of building value for shareholders.”

Which does surprise me, considering how he ran Canada's economy into the ground...



While posing as a Great Economist Leader.

And as if that isn't enough, Harper is also jumping into the international speaking circuit. 

Former prime minister Stephen Harper is hitting the international speaking circuit after signing up with the Worldwide Speakers Group, a booking agency specializing in high-profile public speakers.

Which I also find shocking, not only because his biography couldn't be more flattering.

"Prime Minister Harper was known for a frank, assertive leadership style defined by principled diplomacy, disciplined economic policy, a strong stance on international peace and security, and passionate defence of freedom and human dignity," Harper's biography reads.

Or considering his appalling record, more fraudulent.

But also because I can't forget the day he tried out his speaking skills at the United Nations...



Only to find himself addressing more chairs than people.

But then Harper is not leaving anything to chance. And was recently spotted running around in the woods, bonding with the rich and the powerful, at the all-male Bohemian Grove. 

For those who don't know, the Bohemian Grove is an annual event in California that the Washington Post described in a 2011 article as "two weeks of heavy-drinking, super-secret talks, druid worship and other rituals" by some of the richest and most powerful men in the world.

And I only hope that those Druid worship ceremonies had Great Fallen Leader beating a drum, or his chest, and running around half naked...



So everybody could see that the mad emperor is still trying to con people into thinking he was a Great Leader, instead of the worst Prime Minister this country has ever known.

And is now peddling that phony reputation to the highest bidder...



But yes, this is the bottom line: 

There was all that talk about how Harper might try to redeem himself by setting up a foundation to help poor women and children.

But in the end he just went for the money, the moolah, the big bucks.

And now seems only interested in making himself and his faithful boyservant Ray Novak very very rich...



And all I can say is, may the Great Polar Bear God of the Great White North protect their victims.

Thank goodness we're not living anymore, in the country he almost ruined...



And of course, add another grubby chapter to the sordid story of Stephen Harper...